Download or read book Memoirs of a Neurotic Zombie written by Jeff Norton and published by Faber & Faber. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'My name is Adam Meltzer and the last thing I remember was being stung by a bee while swinging at a robot-shaped piñata on my twelfth birthday. I was dead before the candy hit the ground.' Memoirs of a Neurotic Zombie is narrated by the hilarious Adam Meltzer - pre-teen, worrywart, and now zombie. Adam's family gets the fright of their lives when he turns up at their door . . . three months after his funeral. Soon Adam's back at school trying to fit in and not draw extra attention to himself, but when he sees his neighbour Ernesto transform into a chupacubra, and the beautiful Corina (Adam's number one mega-crush) turns out to be a (vegan) vampire, undead life is never going to be the same again. A hilarious adventure caper - if Ferris Bueller met Shaun of the Dead - all about friendship and being yourself . . . even if you're undead.

Download or read book Memoirs of a Neurotic Zombie Escape from Camp written by Jeff Norton and published by Faber & Faber. This book was released on 2015-09-15 with total page 156 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You'll laugh until you die! Adam Meltzer, the world's most neurotic teenager, who just happens to be a zombie, is back! After solving the mystery of the zombees, Adam and his friends Corina (a vegan vampire) and Ernesto (a reluctant chupacubra) head off to summer camp for a well-earned break from detective work. But the countryside in their hometown of Croxton is just as weird and wonderful and soon they are investigating something deadly dangerous in the deep, dark woods...

Download or read book Let s Pretend This Never Happened written by Jenny Lawson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-03-05 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Download or read book Dino Knights Invasion written by Jeff Jeff Norton and published by Dino Knights. This book was released on 2022-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Age range 8 to 12 The second in a fast-paced fantasy adventure featuring dinosaurs and knights. When the Highlanders are attacked and kidnapped by their ruthless neighbours, the Dino Knights are torn between avenging Ellie's Highlander family or protecting Brecklan which is now under threat. Ellie and Henry risk everything and disobey orders to go to the rescue. But in doing so they make a powerful new ally who will help them save Brecklan. 'You like knights? You like dinosaurs? Watch out your head might just explode!' -- The Times 'I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It is fast-paced and packed full of action and adventure.' -- Reading Zone 'The series has all kinds of potential directions to go and there are bound to be many more surprises in store.' -- Books for Keeps

Download or read book Fight for the Future written by Jeff Norton and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2012-08-02 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jonah Delacroix can't stand the real world - so he lives most of his life inside a global computer-based virtual world called the Metasphere, where everyone is represented by an avatar. When he discovers the avatar of his dead father, and assumes his online identity, a series of events are unleashed that compel Jonah to race across the real world with a secret society to protect the freedom of all mankind...

Download or read book Dino Knights Panterra in Peril written by Jeff Norton and published by Dino Knights. This book was released on 2021-07 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Age range 8 to 12 In a medieval land where dinosaurs still roam, lowly stable boy Henry Fairchild joins the brave Dino Knights and rides into adventure on the back of a T-Rex. A fast-paced action-adventure series about bravery, friendship, and being your best self. Teachers' notes available here

Download or read book We Have Always Lived in the Castle written by Shirley Jackson and published by Dramatists Play Service Inc. This book was released on 1967-10 with total page 86 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE STORY: The home of the Blackwoods near a Vermont village is a lonely, ominous abode, and Constance, the young mistress of the place, can't go out of the house without being insulted and stoned by the villagers. They have also composed a nasty s

Download or read book Miss Ex Yugoslavia written by Sofija Stefanovic and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-04-17 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Sofija Stefanovic’s beautiful memoir Miss Ex-Yugoslavia depicts the elegant transit of a girl becoming an artist. This is a story we yearn to know: How does a girl lose her childhood, family, and nation, yet nurture her memories, dreams, and art? Stefanovic hits all her marks, and she keeps us in her thrall.” —Min Jin Lee, author of Pachinko, a New York Times bestseller and National Book Award finalist “Funny and tragic and beautiful in all the right places. I loved it.” —Jenny Lawson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and Furiously Happy A funny, dark, and tender memoir about the immigrant experience and life as a perpetual fish-out-of-water, from the acclaimed Serbian-Australian storyteller. Sofija Stefanovic makes the first of many awkward entrances in 1982, when she is born in Belgrade, the capital of socialist Yugoslavia. The circumstances of her birth (a blackout, gasoline shortages, bickering parents) don’t exactly get her off to a running start. While around her, ethnic tensions are stoked by totalitarian leaders with violent agendas, Stefanovic's early life is filled with Yugo rock, inadvisable crushes, and the quirky ups and downs of life in a socialist state. As the political situation grows more dire, the Stefanovics travel back and forth between faraway, peaceful Australia, where they can’t seem to fit in, and their turbulent homeland, which they can’t seem to shake. Meanwhile, Yugoslavia collapses into the bloodiest European conflict in recent history. Featuring warlords and beauty queens, tiger cubs and Baby-Sitters Clubs, Sofija Stefanovic’s memoir is a window to a complicated culture that she both cherishes and resents. Revealing war and immigration from the crucial viewpoint of women and children, Stefanovic chronicles her own coming-of-age, both as a woman and as an artist who yearns to take control of her own story. Refreshingly candid, poignant, and illuminating, Miss Ex-Yugoslavia introduces a vital new voice to the immigrant narrative.

Download or read book Alienated Grounded at Groom Lake written by Jeff Norton and published by . This book was released on 2018-11 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book True Blue written by Jane Smiley and published by Yearling. This book was released on 2012-08-07 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: True Blue is a beauty, a dappled gray, and when Abby gets to take him to her family's ranch, she can hardly believe her luck. The horse needs a home: his owner—a woman brand new to the riding stable—was tragically killed in a car crash and no one has claimed him. Daddy is wary, as always. But Abby is smitten. True Blue is a sweetheart, and whenever Abby calls out, "Blue, Blue, how are you?" he whinnies back. But sometimes True Blue seems . . . spooked. He paces, and always seems to be looking for something. Or someone. Filled with riding scenes and horse details, this newest middle-grade novel from a Pulitzer Prize winner offers a mysterious and suspenseful almost-ghost story.

Download or read book If You Were Here written by Jen Lancaster and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-05-03 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Watch a video The fiction debut of the New York Times bestselling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying-but always funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughes's movies made famous. Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.

Download or read book You re Never Weird on the Internet Almost written by Felicia Day and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-04-19 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Internet isn't all cat videos. There's also Felicia Day -- violinist, filmmaker, Internet entrepreneur, compulsive gamer, hoagie specialist, and former lonely homeschooled girl who overcame her isolated childhood to become the ruler of a new world ... or at least semi-influential in the world of Internet Geeks and Goodreads book clubs. After growing up in the south where she was "homeschooled for hippie reasons", Felicia moved to Hollywood to pursue her dream of becoming an actress and was immediately typecast as a crazy cat-lady secretary. But Felicia's misadventures in Hollywood led her to produce her own web series, own her own production company, and become an Internet star. Felicia's short-ish life and her rags-to-riches rise to Internet fame launched her career as one of the most influential creators in new media. Now Felicia's strange world is filled with thoughts on creativity, video games, and a dash of mild feminist activism -- just like her memoir. Felicia's story demonstrates that everyone should embrace what makes them different and be brave enough to share it with the world, because anything is possible now -- even for a digital misfit.

Download or read book Fever Crumb written by Philip Reeve and published by Scholastic UK. This book was released on 2011-07-07 with total page 349 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Long before the days of Mortal Engines, London is poised on the brink of apocalypse. Huge armoured fortresses are advancing across the wastelands - a new and terrifying kind of enemy. The city is days away from ruin. Buried in London's past is a secret that may save it. But only one key can unlock it - an odd-looking orphan named Fever Crumb. Set centuries before the events of Mortal Engines, Fever Crumb's paralysing mission will make your heart stop.

Download or read book Girl 15 Charming but Insane written by Sue Limb and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Life was tragic enough before this spring started. With a distinct lack of boobage and an arse so big that birds of prey could nest within its shadows, Jess Jordan is saddled with the Goddess Flora for a best friend, a Britney Spears look-alike so gorgeous that one grain of her divine dandruff could make the blind see again. Jess knows that her soul mate is Ben Jones, a divine mixture of Leonardo diCaprio, Prince William, and Brad Pitt who oozes mystery and charisma. But the campaign to get Ben to notice her brings on a cavalcade of mortification and disaster, including, but not limited to, a minestrone soup explosion that takes place in her bra and a schoolwide viewing of a videotape that features a topless Jess referring to her breasts as “Bonnie” and “Clyde.” Meanwhile, Jess’s death-obsessed Granny moves into her bedroom, along with her grandfather’s remains; her hypochondriac dad, who sends her daily “horrorscopes” like “You will fall asleep with your mouth open, and a family of earwigs will move in,” acts strange about Jess staying with him this summer; and her longtime friend Fred, a television violence addict and closet thumbsucker, has decided that he can’t stand being around her. Jess is determined to make things right . . . but with her offbeat sense of humor and her wildly active imagination, things get complicated along the way.

Download or read book The Imagination Box A Mind of its Own written by Martyn Ford and published by Faber & Faber. This book was released on 2017-05-02 with total page 223 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There was a sabre-toothed tiger in the playground. Wandering thoughts, Tim had come to realise, were extremely dangerous things.Nearly a year has passed since Tim, Dee and Phil the finger monkey (with the help of some fire-breathing bear-sharks) defeated Wilde Tech Inc and destroyed the imagination space. But since then, it's become increasingly clear that there's something wrong with Tim. His imagination seems limitless - anything he imagines immediately appears in front of him, with no need for the imagination box. Which has both good and bad consequences.Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changes. Tim wakes up and discovers he's in his old orphanage. No one, not even Dee, knows who he is. He's completely alone - his worst nightmare. But soon he realises who is to blame. His old enemy, Clarice Crowfield, has hijacked a new, all-powerful machine and created a reality where she is in charge! Tim must find Professor Eisenstone, convince Dee that they really are best friends (and, of course, recreate Phil) - then literally put their world to rights.

Download or read book Matt Millz on Tour written by Harry Hill and published by Faber & Faber. This book was released on 2019-10-15 with total page 251 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you heard the one about the new Matt Millz book? It's here, and it's brilliant! Matt's dream of becoming a stand-up comic is fading. Six months on from his success at the Apollo, the gigs have dried up, and it's back to the daily drudge of schoolwork for Matt and his pals. But then his twelve-year-old manager Kitty has a brainwave: if they can persuade their teachers to take a school play up to the Edinburgh Festival, they could hold a comedy night too. But Matt's got a rival new school-mate Jamie who is pushing to be in the comedy line-up. And Jamie is good. But is he too good to be true? Packed with action, jokes and stand-up tips, every aspiring young comedian will love this new Matt Millz adventure.

Download or read book The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York written by Geoff Rodkey and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2015-09-29 with total page 246 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the follow up to the New York Times bestseller The Tapper Twins Go to War, the twins' school scavenger hunt turns into a "madcap, uproarious romp around the Big Apple" full of "action, hilarity, and mayhem" (School Library Journal). Geoff Rodkey delivers another pitch-perfect ultra-modern comedy told as oral history with texts, screenshots and smartphone photos. When Claudia initiates a citywide scavenger hunt to raise money for charity, it's not just the twins' opposing teams that run riot. With the whole school racing to trade in sights seen for points to score front row tickets at Madison Square Garden, they may not get to the finish line with their dignity--and social lives--intact!