Download or read book Kids Are Turds written by Jenny Schoberl and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-04-05 with total page 206 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said “Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share. Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name. Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby! What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out? Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a “good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!
Download or read book When Unicorns Poop written by Lexie Castle and published by Running Press Kids. This book was released on 2019-10-01 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrate all things sparkly, including unicorn poop, with this rainbow-filled, humorous story! Did you know that when a unicorn poops, rainbows arch across the sky? And when they toot, shiny bubbles float all around! What happens when a unicorn sneezes or spits or cries? More magical whimsy occurs when unicorns do all these things, of course. Just don't step in their poop-eww! Complete with stunning, bright, and magical full-color illustrations, When Unicorns Poop is sure to delight kids as well as be the perfect gift for any unicorn-crazed adult.
Download or read book When Poop Gets Stuck written by Nathan Cameron and published by . This book was released on 2020-04-24 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everybody poops, and every child has weird, wild, and hilarious adventures with poop. Join Timmy and his family in one of the funniest stories as they encounter ridiculous, disgusting, epic turds that just will not move! This is the perfect children's book to combat the crushing news we receive every day. We don't need a teaching book right now. What we need is the sound of laughter, and smiles all around. This is the bedtime story that will put a smile on your child's face every night!
Download or read book Gas Trees and Car Turds written by Kirk R. Johnson and published by Fulcrum Group. This book was released on 2007 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Global warming is a complicated problem. Gas Trees and Car Turds is a fun, fast read about the carbon cycle: trees are made of air and water, electricity is made from coal that is made from trees, gasoline is made from plankton, and all of these things are related to each other and to our climate through carbon dioxide. The book makes carbon dioxide, an invisible odorless gas responsible for global warming and plant growth, into something that can be imagined and understood by children.
Download or read book The Poop Song written by Eric Litwin and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2021-04-13 with total page 41 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A satisfyingly silly picture book sing-along about pooping—a topic kids find hilarious and parents find necessary! Discover how cats, pelicans, space aliens, and even dinosaurs poop in this rollicking, rhyming verse that's sure to elicit giggles. With plenty of hilarious pictures and a catchy chorus that encourages young children to use the toilet, this laugh-out-loud story is the go-to potty training book that every family needs. • A playful approach to potty training • Full of humor that is silly, not disgusting • From the bestselling author of Pete the Cat: I Love my White Shoes Everybody's pooping all day long. That's why we sing the pooping song! A former elementary school teacher, Eric Litwin's books interweave traditional reading methods with music and movement to make learning fun and effective. • Children's books for kids ages 2–4 • Perfect for families potty training • Great for fans of silly picture books
Download or read book 3 Day Potty Training written by Lora Jensen and published by Lora Jensen. This book was released on 2014-03-04 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 3 Day Potty Training is a fun and easy-to-follow guide for potty training even the most stubborn child just 3 days. Not just for pee and poop but for day and night too! Lora’s method is all about training the child to learn their own body signs. If the parent is having to do all the work, then the child isn’t truly trained, but with Lora’s method your child will learn when their body is telling them that they need to use the potty and they will communicate that need to you.
Download or read book Rabbit Turds written by Susan Froehlich and published by Bookhouse Fulfillment. This book was released on 2013-07-15 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With over seventy quirky poems, Rabbit Turds is sure to tickle your funny bone. In a style reminiscent of Shel Silverstein, this book explores topics ranging from the silly to serious— bad breath to bullying, the fear of shots to zombies. From eternally popular potty-humor that will send kids into fits of giggles to educational poems that spark interest in insects and animals, the imaginative poems in Rabbit Turds will be a treat for both young readers and those who are young at heart.
Download or read book P Is for Poop written by Ben Luster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-09-24 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A LAUGH OUT LOUD ABC BOOK From poop filled diapers and dad in his underwear, to tripping over toys and lice filled hair, P Is For Poop is a hilarious rhyming ABC book that highlights true parenthood. Join our family of characters as they embark on a typical day filled with the frequent pitfalls, challenges, and silly situations known to every parent. A funny and honest assessment on raising children, with simple rhymes and full color pictures, P Is For Poop was written for the kid in us all. As a new father, author Ben Luster, wants every parent to know they're not alone as they navigate the trials and tribulations of rasiing a child. It's hard, overwhelming, and at times quite smelly; but at the end of the day it is worth it. A perfect gift for those expecting a new addition to their family, and who seek a book that will make them laugh along with their child.
Download or read book Poop Happened written by Sarah Albee and published by Walker Childrens. This book was released on 2010-05-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did lead pipescause the fall of the Roman Empire? How many toilets were in theaverage Egyptian pyramid? How did a knight wearing fiftypounds of armor go to thebathroom? Was poor hygiene thelast strawbefore the French Revolution? DidThomas Crapper really inventthe modern toilet? How doastronauts goin space? History finally comes out of thewater-closet inthis exploration of how people's need to relieve themselves shapedhumandevelopment from ancient times to the present. Throughout time, themostsuccessful civilizations were the ones who realized thateveryone poops, and theyhad better figure out how to get rid of it! From the world's firstflushing toiletinvented by ancient Minoan plumbers to castle moats in the middle agesthatused more than just water to repel enemies, Sarah Albee traces humancivilization using one revolting yet fascinating theme. A blend of historical photos and humorous illustrationsbring the answers to these questions and more to life, plus extra-grosssidebar information adds to the potty humor. This is bathroom readingkids, teachers,librarians, and parents won't be able to put down!
Download or read book Whose Poop Is That written by Darrin Lunde and published by Triangle Interactive, Inc. . This book was released on 2018-03-29 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Read Along or Enhanced eBook: Poop! Ewwww! No, don’t say “Ewwww.” Ask, “Whose poop is that?” This simple, and yes, charming book asks this question about seven examples of animal poop. By investigating visual clues, young readers can learn to identify the animal through its droppings. For instance, find a sample of poop with bits of bone and tufts of hair. Turn the page to learn it came from a fox! Kelsey Oseid’s illustrations are both accurate and beautiful. Backmatter includes further information about the poop and what scientists can learn from an animal’s droppings. From the Hardcover edition.
Download or read book Don t Say Poop written by Jimmy Matejek-Morris and published by HMH Books For Young Readers. This book was released on 2021-04-20 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everyone Poops meets The Book with No Pictures in this irresistibly naughty read-aloud. When you get the urge to say you-know-what, don't. DON'T SAY POOP! Why say a vile word like poop when you could say humdrum bum crumbs, float-or-sinker, major stinker, sometimes mushy from your tushy, or smelly belly funky jelly. See how much nicer that is? This silly book of tongue twisters will have kids doubled over as they learn some alternatives to their favorite potty words. Perfect for reading aloud, and for reading again and again!
Download or read book Everyone Poops written by Taro Gomi and published by Chronicle Books LLC. This book was released on 2020-09-01 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The beloved, bestselling potty-training classic, now re-released for a new generation! An elephant makes a big poop. A mouse makes a tiny poop. Everyone eats, so of course: everyone poops! Taro Gomi's classic, go-to picture book for straight-talk on all things "number 2" is back, as fresh and funny as ever. • Both a matter-of-fact, educational guide and a hilarious romp through poop territory • Filled with timeless OMG moments for both kids and adults • Colorful and content-rich picture book The concept of going to the bathroom is made concrete through this illustrated narrative that is both verbally and visually engaging. Everyone Poops is just right for potty-training and everyday reading with smart, curious readers. • Perfect for children ages 0 to 3 years old • Equal parts educational and entertaining, this makes a great book for parents and grandparents who are potty-training their toddler. • You'll love this book if you love books like P is for Potty! (Sesame Street) by Naomi Kleinberg, Potty by Leslie Patricelli, The Potty Train by David Hochman and Ruth Kennison.
Download or read book How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler written by Natasha Daniels and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. This book was released on 2015-09-21 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why does your toddler get upset when his or her routine is disrupted? Why do they follow you from room to room and refuse to play on their own? Why are daily routines such as mealtimes, bath time, and bed time such a struggle? This accessible guide demystifies the difficult behaviors of anxious toddlers, offering tried-and-tested practical solutions to common parenting dilemmas. Each chapter begins with a real life example, clearly illustrating the behavior from the parent's and the toddler's perspective. Once the toddler's anxious behavior has been demystified and explained, new and effective parenting approaches are introduced to help parents tackle everyday difficulties and build up their child's resilience, independence, and coping mechanisms. Common difficulties with bath time, toileting, sleep, eating, transitions, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and sensory issues are solved, along with specific fears and phobias, and more extreme behaviors such as skin picking and hair pulling. A must-read for all parents of anxious toddlers, as well as for the professionals involved in supporting them.
Download or read book The Great Big Poop Party written by Samantha Berger and published by Henry Holt and Company (BYR). This book was released on 2020-09-29 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Great Big Poop Party is writer Samantha Berger and illustrator Manny Galán's hilarious picture book about a little boy who wants a special theme for his birthday party—and the poop-centric silliness that ensues. Julian's birthday is fast approaching. For his party, his parents promise he can have any theme he wants. Maybe superheroes or skateboards? Dinosaurs or dogs? But Julian has another idea. He wants a poop party. With his family's help, Julian throws the biggest, brownest, most creative poop party ever!
Download or read book Nose Poop written by Naejh and published by . This book was released on 2015-04-17 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nose Poop helps children understand why eating boogers is frowned upon in society. Correlating boogers with other body waste helps children make connections as it relates to proper etiquette, hygiene, and how their little bodies work. Helping children form good habits in the early childhood years carries over into adulthood. What did you do with your boogers when you were a child? Nose Poop isn't overly graphic but has just enough to get the message across. The diverse images portray different scenarios that most children can relate to. This book is an effective tool in assisting you with your child's booger eating habit and better yet, deters him or her from eating boogers.
Download or read book It Takes Guts written by Dr. Jennifer Gardy and published by Greystone Books Ltd. This book was released on 2021-09-13 with total page 151 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the 2023 AAAS/Subaru Prize for Excellence in Science Books An illustrated book about the digestive system and microbiome for young readers, from famous (and funny) scientist Dr. Jennifer Gardy. Everybody eats, and everybody poops. Pretty ordinary stuff, right? But what happens in between is far from ordinary! That’s where your digestive system—also known as your gut—works its magic. It Takes Guts is an excellent, science-based resource for classroom learning and home-schooling for kids age 9 to 13, with information about: The surprising role that food and digestion play in your mood and immune system. The amazing tools your body uses to break down food including acids, which do their thing without burning a hole in your stomach! The incredible truth that not all bacteria is bad! Billions of “helpful bacteria” belong in your gut. And so much more! Dr. Jennifer Gardy also takes stomach-turning detours to investigate the science behind burps, barfs, and farts, proving that learning about the wonderful world of your gut—takes guts!
Download or read book Operating Instructions written by Anne Lamott and published by Anchor. This book was released on 2005-03-08 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With the same brilliant combination of humor and warmth she brought to bestseller Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott gives us a smart, funny, and comforting chronicle of single motherhood. It’s not like she’s the only woman to ever have a baby. At thirty-five. On her own. But Anne Lamott makes it all fresh in her now-classic account of how she and her son and numerous friends and neighbors and some strangers survived and thrived in that all important first year. From finding out that her baby is a boy (and getting used to the idea) to finding out that her best friend and greatest supporter Pam will die of cancer (and not getting used to that idea), with a generous amount of wit and faith (but very little piousness), Lamott narrates the great and small events that make up a woman’s life. "Lamott has a conversational style that perfectly conveys her friendly, self-depricating humor." -- Los Angeles Times Book Review "Lamott is a wonderfully lithe writer .... Anyone who has ever had a hard time facing a perfectly ordinary day will identify." -- Chicago Tribune
