Download or read book 5 000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 373 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Download or read book The Awesome Little Pocket Book of Hilarious Jokes written by Debbie Brewer and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2019-02-16 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A pocket sized joke book with hundreds of side splitting gags, hilarious groaners, brilliant wise cracks and funny one liners that will leave you, your family and your friends laughing their socks off!
Download or read book 5 000 Great One Liners written by Grant Tucker and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2012-09-25 with total page 355 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.
Download or read book Brass Playing is No Harder Than Deep Breathing written by Claude Gordon and published by Carl Fischer, L.L.C.. This book was released on 1987 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Arban s Complete Conservatory Method for Trumpet written by JB Arban and published by Courier Corporation. This book was released on 2013-04-22 with total page 369 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A complete pedagogical method for students of trumpet and cornet, this "brass bible" contains hundreds of exercises from basics to advanced. Includes the author's famous arrangement of Carnival in Venice.
Download or read book Why You Suck at Guitar written by Tommy Gordon and published by Fretboard Media Group. This book was released on 2015-11-18 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here's a book intended to challenge you. Here’s a book meant to inspire you. This book is a wake-up call to the global problems and roadblocks for you as a guitarist. This book is meant to be a reality check. Even if guitar playing is a hobby for you, your level of enjoyment and satisfaction will increase exponentially if you get better, start to like your playing and sound, and then continue to move forward. But if you aspire to be a part-time gigging and recording musician or full-time musician/guitarist, this book is filled with the ten reasons that are seriously holding you back. (It might even give you enough clues to help you teach guitar lessons for years to come!) I want you to attack any or all of these problems that apply to you, and get your momentum back as a guitarist. I’ve always believed that the expression “momentum builds motivation” is the key to developing as a musician. Once you’re truly excited about your playing, your creativity, and your growth, amazing things can happen with your music. If you’re here reading a book called “Why You Suck at Guitar” then it means that you’re finally ready to deal with those issues that plague aspiring musicians everywhere. It means that you’re brave. Brave enough to face the facts. I wrote this to help you, and not to make you feel bad — or worse — about your music. This is your wake-up call — a musician-to-musician intervention — with the goal of helping you get back on the right path. Music should be fun, and it’s always fun to get better. I wrote this to help all guitarists because I know that if we don’t like our sound, our abilities, or our playing, then music isn’t fun at all. It’s an annoying feeling. By the way, if you’re just looking for a book of guitar exercises, that’s not what you’ll find here. If you wanted to buy another book of riffs that some random musician-author thinks every guitarist in the world should know, that’s fine -- but maybe you don’t understand what being a real musician means. What you need is clear. You need a personal sound — and that takes a very personal, grounded approach. That means that you need to deal with some big, global issues in your music-making and not worry about which new lick or riff will suddenly transform your playing. On the other hand, if you’ve already totally decided what you — as a guitarist — need to do to get better, but you’re kind of pissy and stubborn about it, then may I suggest that you just go and do that thing. Don’t read this book to see if I can or will change your mind. Do what you want! Follow your musician instincts. If you pretty much know what you want as a musician, and you already have a sense about what you need to work on, seriously, just practice that! But if you do need some more input, some more ideas, some feedback, and a dose of outside inspiration, then you are my ideal reader because: 1) You want to get better now and 2) You admit that you don’t have all the answers 3) You have enough of an open mind to check out what I’m going to say and work on removing those roadblocks that apply to you.
Download or read book Playing Lead Trumpet written by and published by . This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book My Life Is Chaos in Theory written by Marceline Silvia Rose and published by Marceline Silvia Rose. This book was released on with total page 343 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Trumpet Technique written by Frank Gabriel Campos and published by Oxford University Press. This book was released on 2004-12-16 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the last forty years, many elite performers in the arts have gleaned valuable lessons and techniques from research and advances in sport science, psychomotor research, learning theory, and psychology. Numerous "peak performance" books have made these tools and insights available to athletes. Now, professor and performer Frank Gabriel Campos has translated this concept for trumpet players and other brass and wind instrumentalists, creating an accessible and comprehensive guide to performance skill. Trumpet Technique combines the newest research on skill acquisition and peak performance with the time-honored and proven techniques of master teachers and performers. All aspects of brass technique are discussed in detail, including the breath, embouchure, oral cavity, tongue, jaw, and proper body use, as well as information on performance psychology, practice techniques, musicians' occupational injuries, and much more. Comprehensive and detailed, Trumpet Technique is an invaluable resource for performers, teachers, and students at all levels seeking to move to the highest level of skill with their instrument.
Download or read book Lip Flexibilities written by Bai Lin and published by Balquhidder Music/Glen Lyon. This book was released on 2012-12-13 with total page 57 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Witches Are Coming written by Lindy West and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2019-11-05 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this wickedly funny cultural critique, the author of the critically acclaimed memoir and Hulu series Shrill exposes misogyny in the #MeToo era. This is a witch hunt. We're witches, and we're hunting you. From the moment powerful men started falling to the #MeToo movement, the lamentations began: this is feminism gone too far, this is injustice, this is a witch hunt. In The Witches Are Coming, firebrand author of the New York Times bestselling memoir and now critically acclaimed Hulu TV series Shrill, Lindy West, turns that refrain on its head. You think this is a witch hunt? Fine. You've got one. In a laugh-out-loud, incisive cultural critique, West extolls the world-changing magic of truth, urging readers to reckon with dark lies in the heart of the American mythos, and unpacking the complicated, and sometimes tragic, politics of not being a white man in the twenty-first century. She tracks the misogyny and propaganda hidden (or not so hidden) in the media she and her peers devoured growing up, a buffet of distortions, delusions, prejudice, and outright bullsh*t that has allowed white male mediocrity to maintain a death grip on American culture and politics-and that delivered us to this precarious, disorienting moment in history. West writes, "We were just a hair's breadth from electing America's first female president to succeed America's first black president. We weren't done, but we were doing it. And then, true to form—like the Balrog's whip catching Gandalf by his little gray bootie, like the husband in a Lifetime movie hissing, 'If I can't have you, no one can'—white American voters shoved an incompetent, racist con man into the White House." We cannot understand how we got here‚—how the land of the free became Trump's America—without examining the chasm between who we are and who we think we are, without fact-checking the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and each other. The truth can transform us; there is witchcraft in it. Lindy West turns on the light.
Download or read book Who Cares written by Mort Fleischmann and published by Who Cares?. This book was released on 2008-12-06 with total page 409 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Much has been written about Hollywood personalities such as Bob Hope, Cary Grant and Johnny Carson, but here is an even deeper look at these icons. This is not tabloid stuff, but a personal intimate look at the celebrities. * Mort's adventures in New York, growing up, and getting into trouble, during the depression, his three friends who shaped each other's lives in amazing ways, training in the Army Air Force Cadets and how fate can play such an important role in all our futures is in this book. * This is a personal glimpse of one who was in service during World War II and what it was like from a navigator-bombardier-pilot's point of view. * The behind-the-scenes stories and history of radio and television, from its infancy, is told by someone who was actually there, and knew the people involved. His tales are both dramatic and humorous and document history in the making, up to today's modern military and civilian technology. The inside story about the RCA Corporation is here. Fascinating stuff
Download or read book The Art of French Horn Playing written by Philip Farkas and published by Alfred Music. This book was released on 1999-10-19 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: First to be published in the series was The Art of French Horn Playing by Philip Farkas, now Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Music at Indiana University. In 1956, when Summy-Birchard published Farkas's book, he was a solo horn player for the Chicago Symphony and had held similar positions with other orchestras, including the Boston Symphony, Cleveland Orchestra, and Kansas City Conservatory, DePaul University, Northwestern University, and Roosevelt University in Chicago. The Art of French Horn Playing set the pattern, and other books in the series soon followed, offering help to students in learning to master their instruments and achieve their goals.
Download or read book Sam Myers written by Sam Myers and published by Univ. Press of Mississippi. This book was released on 2009-09-18 with total page 185 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sam Myers: The Blues Is My Story recounts the life of bluesman Sam Myers (1936-2006), as told in his own words to author Jeff Horton. Myers grew up visually handicapped in the Jim Crow South and left home to attend the state school for the blind at Piney Woods. Myers's intense desire to become a musician and a scholarship from the American Conservatory School of Music called him to Chicago. There in 1952 he joined Elmore James's band as a drummer and was featured on some of James's best-known recordings. Following the elder bluesman's death in 1963, Myers fronted bands of his own and recorded many well-received singles and albums. In 1986, Myers became the W. C. Handy Award-winning front man, vocalist, and harmonica player for Anson Funderburgh and the Rockets. Throughout the book, Myers provides a historical context to a bygone era of the blues and reveals his own thoughts and feelings about the musicians with whom he played. And they are a list of who's who in the blues-Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, Little Walter, Hound Dog Taylor, and Robert Lockwood Junior in addition to Elmore James. In one chapter, Myers describes a personalized deeper meaning to the blues. And in another he relates a series of anecdotes about the lighter side of life on the road. Contributions from Myers's father and stories from a boyhood friend round out the narrative. Dallas musician Brian “Hash Brown” Calway dissects the more technical aspects of Myers's harmonica style. Long-time friend and bandmate, Anson Funderburgh, weighs in with a chapter about their songwriting methods and offers some of his own recollections on their twenty years together.
Download or read book The Time of the Transference written by Alan Dean Foster and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2011-02-22 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Another tale of talking animals and misdirected magic in the #1 New York Times–bestselling author’s whimsical series: “Foster knows how to spin a yarn” (Starlog). Jon-Tom has been trapped in a strange land of talking owls and wizarding turtles for a year now, his sole consolation that in this universe his musical abilities have inadvertently made him something of a sorcerer. But when an encounter with some burglars leads to him snapping the magical duar that channels his power, he finds himself an ordinary human again—on a quest to repair his instrument with nothing but his staff and his semi-faithful, ever-complaining otter sidekick to defend him. The journey takes them to the ends of the earth—and beyond. On the run from some half-wit pirates, they dart into a cave and find themselves in San Antonio, the shortcut to home that Jon-Tom has long dreamed about. But Texas wants nothing to do with this long-haired wizard, or the unpleasant creatures who are tracking him.
Download or read book Born In Huronia written by Robert Popple and published by FriesenPress. This book was released on 2020-04-17 with total page 462 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On September 28, 1941, the same day that Robert Popple was born in Penetanguishene, Ontario, Ted Williams ended his baseball season with a .406 batting average, a MLB record that still stands today. Patterned after Mark Twain’s recently published autobiography, this memoir describes Popple’s life growing up in 1950s Huronia and later, making his way in the world. With public confidence in nuclear power declining after the Three Mile Island accident and CANDU reactors supplying the lion’s share of Ontario’s electric power, Popple acted as the Ontario Hydro nuclear spokesman for five years. An exact transcript of his mother’s 53-year Family Log is included, a prized source of detail on early events.
