Download or read book I No Longer Laugh At People With The Walking Farts written by Pansy D Price and published by . This book was released on 2019-05-29 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As you age are you finding you have ailments like the Walking Farts? It used to be funny when someone else farted while walking, but it's no longer a laughing matter. This funny composition notebook is a great gag gift for a man's or woman's Over The Hill birthday. Use for a gratitude journal, grocery list, or notepad. Book measures 6x9 and has 120 lined pages.
Download or read book Belly Laugh Fart Jokes for Kids written by Sky Pony Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-06-12 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A private tooter! What do you call a cat that eats beans? Puss n’ Toots. Belly Laugh Fart Jokes for Kids is full of hilarious fun! From snappy one-liners to hilarious stories, this collection is complete with three hundred hilarious fart jokes for kids and is complemented by witty line drawings. Perfect for long car rides and rainy days, this book is sure to bring laughter and fun into your home. For kids ages five and up, this book is perfect for home, school, or really anywhere! Also included is a Fart! button for added entertainment!
Download or read book Like Farts in a Whirlwind written by Tony Farley and published by Dog Ear Publishing. This book was released on 2010-08 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When I was growing up, Sesame Street had only made it to the letter, "C." There were no purple dinosaurs on television either. The only prehistoric creatures we got to watch on the two channels we received were the ones that were chasing Raquel Welch around while she was dressed in that skimpy animal-hide costume of hers. Don't think that I'm complaining about this. Trust me, watching Raquel was far more educational. Our television choices were limited, and there were no personal computers or video games back then either. For years, I thought a joy stick was the switch that brought a big smile to my mother's face every time she used it to wear out my rear-end. Like Farts in a Whirlwindis a humorous look back at some of the things that made my mother have to grab that switch. This book is not a nostalgic walk down memory lane. It's more like trampling through the flower beds of my mind. Every time I tell someone about the things we did in Vienna, I always receive the same three responses. First, I get a look of total bewilderment, which is followed by three or four vigorous head shakes, and then I hear, "You should write a book about that " Well, that's what I've done, and I hope you have as much fun reading these stories as I had living and writing them. Tony Farley is a life-long resident of the Vienna area. He is a graduate of Louisiana Tech University, and the owner of Vienna Motors, which sits at the epicenter of most of the stories in his book.
Download or read book Fart Dictionary written by Scott A. Sorensen and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 2013-11-05 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The one and only Fart Dictionary is a hilarious, illustrated collection of fart definitions for every occasion, covering a wide range of topics. Whether it's politics, poetry, karaoke, Mardi Gras, Food Network, Jane Austen, love, war, ghosts, family, sports, fashion, Shakespeare, or vegetarians, there's a fart in this book for everyone. Examples include "apple fart: a fart that keeps the doctor away," "boomerang fart: a fart which has somehow returned to haunt you," and many, many more. Featuring whimsical artwork and all wrapped up in a classy little package, Fart Dictionary is a perfect gag gift and certain to be a hit with anyone who has ever laughed at the sound of breaking wind.
Download or read book Ideal Life vs Real Life written by Tillie Lane and published by Fulton Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2020-12-17 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on your ideal life? You know, the perfect life we all envision for ourselves? Let’s face it: life is not for sissies. It seems we are always striving for the perfect, ideal life, but missing the mark (sometimes by a mile). I contend that our lives are overcomplicated by our own expectations. Relax! Take the wins and forget about the times things didn’t go perfectly. Look for the humor in those times when things didn’t quite make an “A” rating. I was never an “A” student anyway; how am I gonna start now? We don’t all have the time or desire to grow organic orange trees, freshly squeeze the juice in non-plastic bottles, and make granola bars from scratch from nuts you foraged in the woods, and wheat grown in your backyard to take for soccer snacks. Grab that forty pack of water bottles, hack up those store-bought oranges, grab boxes of granola bars (one without nuts of course), and hand them out proudly. If little Johnny’s mom snubs you because little Johnny can’t eat or drink anything that contains gluten, sugar, artificial—anything and certainly not oranges that come in a bag from Walmart as anything that has touched plastic might irritate his precious skin—then let Johnny’s mom bring the snacks for the rest of the season. You’re off the hook and the problem is no longer on your plate. Your “failure” to provide the correct snacks is actually a win for you. You deserve a sticker! I have complied some short stories from my own life that seemed like epic failures, and sometimes were, and yet the earth still turned. Looking back, I can laugh at all the bumps in road, failed attempts at perfection, and botched or forgotten plans. I know you will be able to relate in one story or another, so feel free to laugh at my mistakes. Really, it won’t hurt my feelings at all. Laugh it up! Oh, and one last thing, tell that unattainable ideal life to take a flying leap, and enjoy your real life.
Download or read book Stories from Here and There written by Robert Karman and published by FriesenPress. This book was released on 2013-05 with total page 335 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book "Stories from Here & There," which includes history and some stories of fiction, seems to merge very well with the present. Karman has taken basic situations and put them into humorous stories. Mentioned here, are art thieves, bootleggers, the sinking of the Lusitania, Houdini, the Romans and their toilet habits, the Royal wedding, daredevils, kite flying, nasty critters, aliens and far too many more to mention here. This book of easy storytelling, has sketches drawn by the author. The sketches add to the stories in visualizing a scene, or location. Hopefully, reading this will trigger some of your own past memories. All drawings in this book are by the author.
Download or read book Esperanza Rising written by Pam Munoz Ryan and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2000 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Esperanza and her mother are forced to leave their life of wealth and privilege in Mexico to go work in the labor camps of Southern California, where they must adapt to the harsh circumstances facing Mexican farm workers on the eve of the Great Depression.
Download or read book If I Were a Fly the Stories I Would Tell written by Cortney Edwards and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2021-06-13 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a book about the tales and adventures of Frankie Bassaduer Princeton. Frankie’s life is action packed with romance, love, drama, adventure and many mishaps along the way. Frankie narrates his story with the help of a unique friend. The unique friend is a fly. The fly befriended Frankie unbeknown to him. The two narrate this life story together creating an unusual bond between a person and a fly that will last a lifetime. Have you ever said that you wished that you were a fly on the wall listening to a conversation packed with a wealth of information? Sure, you have. Well, here is that wish coming true in this story. Moreover, everyone has had a friend of some kind, right! That friend could have been a Barbie Doll, a G.I. Joe action figure, the family dog or cat, a friend down the street or an imaginary made up friend only you knew. You will be intrigued how Famous gives an account of this life adventure from the comforts of walls, chandelier’s, the inside interior of a car and windshield and the shoulder of his friend Bassaduer. The two build an unbreakable bond once Bassaduer realizes he keeps seeing the same fly wherever he goes. He also noticed how the fly appeared to be helping him from time to time. Explain that one! This unique story will make you laugh and cry as you scratch your head if such a bond could exist. I sure hope you enjoy this exciting tale based on some true events.
Download or read book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F ck written by Mark Manson and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
Download or read book We Have Always Lived in the Castle written by Shirley Jackson and published by . This book was released on 1962 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We Have Always Lived in the Castle is a deliciously unsettling novel about a perverse, isolated, and possibly murderous family and the struggle that ensues when a cousin arrives at their estate.
Download or read book Hiroshima written by John Hersey and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2020-06-23 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hiroshima is the story of six people—a clerk, a widowed seamstress, a physician, a Methodist minister, a young surgeon, and a German Catholic priest—who lived through the greatest single manmade disaster in history. In vivid and indelible prose, Pulitzer Prize–winner John Hersey traces the stories of these half-dozen individuals from 8:15 a.m. on August 6, 1945, when Hiroshima was destroyed by the first atomic bomb ever dropped on a city, through the hours and days that followed. Almost four decades after the original publication of this celebrated book, Hersey went back to Hiroshima in search of the people whose stories he had told, and his account of what he discovered is now the eloquent and moving final chapter of Hiroshima.
Download or read book The Woman in Me written by Mama Sophia and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2010-09-07 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains a two-fold purpose: it shares the experiences of an African woman who developed from powerlessness to great empowering heights, and it also attempts to communicate to the world the experiences and stories of the many voiceless African women and their children. The book is an introduction to a five year on-going research on the African Women and Psychology of Oppression. The contents are mostly stories, beliefs and philosophies of African women. They are true experiences. Some of them are breathtaking; some are heartbreaking.
Download or read book Plumbers Gas and Steam Fitters Journal written by and published by . This book was released on 1923 with total page 822 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book 21 Fun Fiascos written by Aaron Williams and published by Aaron Williams. This book was released on 2022-07-06 with total page 147 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Marvin is a twenty year old college student who desperately needs a change. His only two passions are watching cooking shows and killing zombies in VR. After watching hundreds of hours of cooking shows, Marvin believes he’s a chef. Since he can’t kill zombies for a living, Marvin decides to write a cookbook. The only problem is…Marvin can’t cook. Even though his roommate thinks he’s crazy, Marvin enlists the help of a social media influencer to promote his book. Marvin soon learns that any publicity isn’t always good publicity. Even without knowing a single recipe, Marvin is determined to write a life changing book. More than a few feathers are ruffled on his journey to egg’cellence. But Marvin isn’t the type to run from a challenge… No matter how many eggs are cracked or how the cookies crumble, Marvin’s creative mind and weird taste buds will lead him to victory.
Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together
Download or read book Crying Laughing written by Lance Rubin and published by Ember. This book was released on 2021-08-03 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A tragicomic story of bad dates, bad news, bad performances, and one girl's determination to find the funny in high school from the author of Denton Little's Deathdate. Winnie Friedman has been waiting for the world to catch on to what she already knows: she's hilarious. It might be a long wait, though. After bombing a stand-up set at her own bat mitzvah, Winnie has kept her jokes to herself. Well, to herself and her dad, a former comedian and her inspiration. Then, on the second day of tenth grade, the funniest guy in school actually laughs at a comment she makes in the lunch line and asks her to join the improv troupe. Maybe he's even . . . flirting? Just when Winnie's ready to say yes to comedy again, her father reveals that he's been diagnosed with ALS. That is . . . not funny. Her dad's still making jokes, though, which feels like a good thing. And Winnie's prepared to be his straight man if that's what he wants. But is it what he needs? Caught up in a spiral of epically bad dates, bad news, and bad performances, Winnie's struggling to see the humor in it all. But finding a way to laugh is exactly what will see her through. **A Junior Library Guild Selection**
Download or read book I Love Jesus But I Want to Die written by Sarah J. Robinson and published by WaterBrook. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
