Download or read book Git R Done written by Larry the Cable Guy and published by Crown. This book was released on 2006-06-06 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Chock-Full of Straight Talk About America. . . And Some Jokes, Too! Larry the Cable Guy on . . . NASCAR: It’s a lotta good old-fashioned fun started by a buncha moonshiners. Just seein’ all the ZZ Top–lookin’ folks drinkin’ beer, havin’ a good time, and not givin’ a darn is awesome. And that’s just the women! Dieting: I once went on the “liquid diet.” I was supposed to drink nothin’ but liquids for a week. But I got so drunk and sick of that Jim Beam and Coke, I’ll never drink it again. Why his catchphrase “git-r-done” is better than other catchphrases: Ya can’t be at a ball game with two outs in the ninth inning and yell to the pitcher “Bounty is the quicker picker-upper!!” It makes no sense. But you could yell “Git-r-done” and everyone would know what you meant. The red state–blue state divide: Is Dr. Seuss runnin’ the government? Larry’s mom on Larry’s book: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” —Larry’s mom Also available as an eBook.

Download or read book Letters from a Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2020-10-13 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Who is Ted L. Nancy? He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit... He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"... He's a stage actor who only travels while dressed as a stick of butter... He is, in reality, a twisted prankster—a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters to corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state. His innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands, and suggestions are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone—but often the deadpan responses he receives are even more hilarious: "Dear Mr. Nancy, It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." —The Paper Bag Council "On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." —Greyhound Bus Lines "I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." —Vice President Al Gore Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a wet-yourself-in-a-public place funny aggregation of official—and officially certifiable—requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were.

Download or read book As You Wish written by Cary Elwes and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-10-14 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Cary Elwes, who played the iconic role of Westley in The Princess Bride, comes a first-person behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film.

Download or read book Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die written by Daniel Sloss and published by Knopf. This book was released on 2021-10-12 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of this generation's hottest and boldest young comedians presents a transgressive and hilarious analysis of all of our dysfunctional relationships, and attempts to point us in the vague direction of sanity. Daniel Sloss's stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts, and gets audiences roaring with laughter—all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance, and marriage—and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups. Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship—with one's country (Sloss's is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful—but also valuable and meaningful and important.

Download or read book It s Called a Spade written by JJ Barrows and published by WestBow Press. This book was released on 2019-10-04 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “it’s called a spade” is a reference to calling life like it is instead of hiding the tough stuff and pretending like everything is fine. It’s a collection of stories about life, about people and God, recovery and relapse, heartache and brokenness, and the reality that life is hard, even if you believe in God, even if you don’t. But there is also hope and humor and healing that comes without answers. This is a collection of stories from a human who almost disappeared in her efforts to be seen, a girl who called spades hearts and smiled while bluffing.

Download or read book Kafka written by Reiner Stach and published by Princeton University Press. This book was released on 2017-09-05 with total page 580 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The eagerly anticipated final volume of the award-winning, definitive biography of Franz Kafka How did Kafka become Kafka? This eagerly anticipated third and final volume of Reiner Stach's definitive biography of the writer answers that question with more facts and insight than ever before, describing the complex personal, political, and cultural circumstances that shaped the young Franz Kafka (1883–1924). It tells the story of the years from his birth in Prague to the beginning of his professional and literary career in 1910, taking the reader up to just before the breakthrough that resulted in his first masterpieces, including "The Metamorphosis." Brimming with vivid and often startling details, Stach’s narrative invites readers deep inside this neglected period of Kafka’s life. The book’s richly atmospheric portrait of his German Jewish merchant family and his education, psychological development, and sexual maturation draws on numerous sources, some still unpublished, including family letters, schoolmates’ memoirs, and early diaries of his close friend Max Brod. The biography also provides a colorful panorama of Kafka’s wider world, especially the convoluted politics and culture of Prague. Before World War I, Kafka lived in a society at the threshold of modernity but torn by conflict, and Stach provides poignant details of how the adolescent Kafka witnessed violent outbreaks of anti-Semitism and nationalism. The reader also learns how he developed a passionate interest in new technologies, particularly movies and airplanes, and why another interest—his predilection for the back-to-nature movement—stemmed from his “nervous” surroundings rather than personal eccentricity. The crowning volume to a masterly biography, this is an unmatched account of how a boy who grew up in an old Central European monarchy became a writer who helped create modern literature.

Download or read book All Moms written by Sarah Kate Ellis and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-06-28 with total page 31 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As seen on The TODAY Show! Moms are amazing! The care, support, and love they give make us stronger, smarter, kinder, and happier. Every mom is unique and special, so celebrate them with this beautiful picture book written by the married team of Sarah Kate Ellis, the president and CEO of GLAAD, and musician Kristen Ellis-Henderson. "All Moms is such a special and important book for young readers, because more than ever, it's key that we teach our children to have love and compassion for others. This book reminds kids and families that all moms are superheroes, no matter how they look, what they do for work, or where they come from." -Melissa Etheridge, GRAMMY and Academy Award-winning singer-songwriter "Married coauthors Ellis, a GLAAD executive, and Ellis-Henderson, a musician, offer an expansive view of motherhood in this stylish homage. Matching the energy of the text's rhyming prose, Rambaldi's hip illustrations busily burst with life, depicting parents and children with varying abilities, gender expressions, skin tones, and body types... With their inclusive focus, this well-matched trio show that above all, it's kindness and care that define 'mom.'" -Publishers Weekly All Moms is a love letter to mommies. Moms make us laugh. Moms read us stories. Moms snuggle us when we're sad, and help us grow. Some moms are silly, some are sporty or crafty, but all moms are incredible. Moms can do anything! Created in partnership with GLAAD, this inclusive picture book features and celebrates all different types of mommies and the amazing things they do.

Download or read book Option B written by Sheryl Sandberg and published by Knopf. This book was released on 2017-04-24 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • From authors of Lean In and Originals: a powerful, inspiring, and practical book about building resilience and moving forward after life’s inevitable setbacks After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build. Option B combines Sheryl’s personal insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy. Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B. We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.

Download or read book The Pleasure of My Company written by Steve Martin and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2003-10-01 with total page 139 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling author of Shopgirl comes the tender story of a troubled man who finds love, and life, in the most unexpected place. Daniel resides in his Santa Monica apartment, living much of his life as a bystander: He watches from his window as the world goes by, and his only relationships seem to be with people who barely know he exists. He passes the time idly filling out contest applications, counting ceiling tiles, and estimating the wattage of light bulbs. It is through Daniel's growing attachment to Clarissa, and to Teddy, that he finally gains the courage to begin to engage the world outside, and in doing so, he discovers love, and life, in the most surprising places. Filled with his trademark humor, tenderness, and out and out hilarious wordplay, The Pleasure of My Company is a tour de force sure to delight all of Steve Martin's fans.

Download or read book Dear Girls written by Ali Wong and published by Random House. This book was released on 2019-10-15 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Ali Wong’s heartfelt and hilarious letters to her daughters (the two she put to work while they were still in utero) cover everything they need to know in life, like the unpleasant details of dating, how to be a working mom in a male-dominated profession, and how she trapped their dad. “Knife-sharp . . . a genuine pleasure.”—The New York Times NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Time • Variety • Chicago Tribune • Glamour • New York In her hit Netflix comedy special Baby Cobra, an eight-month pregnant Ali Wong resonated so strongly that she even became a popular Halloween costume. Wong told the world her remarkably unfiltered thoughts on marriage, sex, Asian culture, working women, and why you never see new mom comics on stage but you sure see plenty of new dads. The sharp insights and humor are even more personal in this completely original collection. She shares the wisdom she’s learned from a life in comedy and reveals stories from her life off stage, including the brutal single life in New York (i.e. the inevitable confrontation with erectile dysfunction), reconnecting with her roots (and drinking snake blood) in Vietnam, tales of being a wild child growing up in San Francisco, and parenting war stories. Though addressed to her daughters, Ali Wong’s letters are absurdly funny, surprisingly moving, and enlightening (and gross) for all. Praise for Dear Girls “Fierce, feminist, and packed with funny anecdotes.”—Entertainment Weekly “[Wong] spins a volume whose pages simultaneously shock and satisfy. . . . Dear Girls is not so much a real-talk handbook as it is a myth-puncturing manifesto.”—Vogue “[A] refreshing, hilarious, and honest account of making a career in a male-dominated field, dating, being a mom, growing up, and so much more…Yes, this book is addressed to Wong’s daughters, but every reader will find nuggets of wisdom and inspiration and, most important, something to laugh at.”—Bustle

Download or read book How to Be Funny written by Steve Allen and published by Prometheus Books. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No one knows more about comedy than Steve Allen. For more than five decades as a writer, performer, and keen observer of the social scene, he has looked into every aspect of who''s funny, what''s funny, and why. Allen shares his discoveries in How to Be Funny, the book designed to help everyone develop their special talent for funniness.Now reissued in paperback, How to Be Funny covers all the basics, including joke telling, ad-libbing, writing humorously, performing comedy, emceeing, and much more. Allen takes you inside the world of comedy, from the early writings of Mark Twain, to the more contemporary work of Rodney Dangerfield and Bill Maher. Allen even provides homework assignments for the budding comic!Yet How to Be Funny is far more than just a book for aspiring comedians it will help anyone who wants to be a more amusing conversationalist, a more effective public speaker, and everyone who just wants to be the life of the party.

Download or read book The Interior written by and published by . This book was released on 1893 with total page 882 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Issues for Jan 12, 1888-Jan. 1889 include monthly "Magazine supplement".

Download or read book Running the Light written by Sam Tallent and published by Random House. This book was released on 2025-03-25 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A bona fide “instant classic” (Doug Stanhope) novel that tells the story of a road comic crashing and burning by acclaimed comedian Sam Tallent Billy Ray Schafer stepped off the plane in Amarillo, Texas, with twenty-six hundred dollars tucked down the leg of his black ostrich-skin cowboy boot. He walked to baggage claim slowly, jelly-legged and nearing lucidity, coming out from under the Xanax he snorted before the flight. Debauched, divorced, and courting death, Billy Ray Schafer is a comedian who has forgotten how to laugh. Over the course of seven spun-out days across the American Southwest, he travels from hell gig to hell gig in search of a reason to keep living in this bleak and violent glimpse into the psyche of a thoroughly ruined man. Ex-inmate, ex-husband, ex-father—comedian is the only title Schafer has left. Trapped in the wreckage of his wasted career, Billy Ray knows the answer to the question: What happens when opportunity doesn't come—or worse—it comes and goes? “In vivid, electric sentences that read like cinematic tracking shots,” (Denver Post) Tallent hurls you into an absolute mess of a man’s life as we search for the mercy he does not want.

Download or read book Little Failure written by Gary Shteyngart and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-01-07 with total page 369 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE AWARD FINALIST NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY MICHIKO KAKUTANI, THE NEW YORK TIMES • NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST NONFICTION BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY TIME NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY MORE THAN 45 PUBLICATIONS, INCLUDING The New York Times Book Review • The Washington Post • NPR • The New Yorker • San Francisco Chronicle • The Economist • The Atlantic • Newsday • Salon • St. Louis Post-Dispatch • The Guardian • Esquire (UK) • GQ (UK) After three acclaimed novels, Gary Shteyngart turns to memoir in a candid, witty, deeply poignant account of his life so far. Shteyngart shares his American immigrant experience, moving back and forth through time and memory with self-deprecating humor, moving insights, and literary bravado. The result is a resonant story of family and belonging that feels epic and intimate and distinctly his own. Born Igor Shteyngart in Leningrad during the twilight of the Soviet Union, the curious, diminutive, asthmatic boy grew up with a persistent sense of yearning—for food, for acceptance, for words—desires that would follow him into adulthood. At five, Igor wrote his first novel, Lenin and His Magical Goose, and his grandmother paid him a slice of cheese for every page. In the late 1970s, world events changed Igor’s life. Jimmy Carter and Leonid Brezhnev made a deal: exchange grain for the safe passage of Soviet Jews to America—a country Igor viewed as the enemy. Along the way, Igor became Gary so that he would suffer one or two fewer beatings from other kids. Coming to the United States from the Soviet Union was equivalent to stumbling off a monochromatic cliff and landing in a pool of pure Technicolor. Shteyngart’s loving but mismatched parents dreamed that he would become a lawyer or at least a “conscientious toiler” on Wall Street, something their distracted son was simply not cut out to do. Fusing English and Russian, his mother created the term Failurchka—Little Failure—which she applied to her son. With love. Mostly. As a result, Shteyngart operated on a theory that he would fail at everything he tried. At being a writer, at being a boyfriend, and, most important, at being a worthwhile human being. Swinging between a Soviet home life and American aspirations, Shteyngart found himself living in two contradictory worlds, all the while wishing that he could find a real home in one. And somebody to love him. And somebody to lend him sixty-nine cents for a McDonald’s hamburger. Provocative, hilarious, and inventive, Little Failure reveals a deeper vein of emotion in Gary Shteyngart’s prose. It is a memoir of an immigrant family coming to America, as told by a lifelong misfit who forged from his imagination an essential literary voice and, against all odds, a place in the world. Praise for Little Failure “Hilarious and moving . . . The army of readers who love Gary Shteyngart is about to get bigger.”—The New York Times Book Review “A memoir for the ages . . . brilliant and unflinching.”—Mary Karr “Dazzling . . . a rich, nuanced memoir . . . It’s an immigrant story, a coming-of-age story, a becoming-a-writer story, and a becoming-a-mensch story, and in all these ways it is, unambivalently, a success.”—Meg Wolitzer, NPR “Literary gold . . . bruisingly funny.”—Vogue “A giant success.”—Entertainment Weekly

Download or read book Chocolate Please written by Lisa Lampanelli and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-09-15 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedy's Grammy-nominated Queen of Mean reveals all in her jaw-droppingly hilarious, politically incorrect memoir.

Download or read book I m Walking as Straight as I Can written by Geri Jewell and published by ECW Press. This book was released on 2011-04-01 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A candid memoir of building an acting career—and a happy life—with cerebral palsy: “It’s a joy to read this book” (Ian McShane). Exposing real pain, unstoppable perseverance, and unquestionable faith in the human spirit, this autobiography offers a true glimpse beyond actress Geri Jewell’s public image as a one-dimensional hero. Born with cerebral palsy, Jewell made history when she became the first person with a disability cast in a recurring role on American television in The Facts of Life, and in the years that followed she experienced a string of other successes, including a performance at the White House and a role on HBO’s Deadwood. But along with such accomplishments, this personal story also depicts some of the less-than-rosy events that happened behind closed doors during her initial climb to fame—among them, her release from The Facts of Life; her manager’s embezzlement of the money she made on the show; and her struggle with chronic pain, despair, and a fear of revealing her true sexual identity. Told with grace and humor, this inspirational narrative presents an honest portrayal of a woman who refused to give up when others kept knocking her down.

Download or read book Crying Laughing written by Lance Rubin and published by Ember. This book was released on 2021-08-03 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A tragicomic story of bad dates, bad news, bad performances, and one girl's determination to find the funny in high school from the author of Denton Little's Deathdate. Winnie Friedman has been waiting for the world to catch on to what she already knows: she's hilarious. It might be a long wait, though. After bombing a stand-up set at her own bat mitzvah, Winnie has kept her jokes to herself. Well, to herself and her dad, a former comedian and her inspiration. Then, on the second day of tenth grade, the funniest guy in school actually laughs at a comment she makes in the lunch line and asks her to join the improv troupe. Maybe he's even . . . flirting? Just when Winnie's ready to say yes to comedy again, her father reveals that he's been diagnosed with ALS. That is . . . not funny. Her dad's still making jokes, though, which feels like a good thing. And Winnie's prepared to be his straight man if that's what he wants. But is it what he needs? Caught up in a spiral of epically bad dates, bad news, and bad performances, Winnie's struggling to see the humor in it all. But finding a way to laugh is exactly what will see her through. **A Junior Library Guild Selection**