Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself Books 1 4 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself #1. Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible! I Nearly Shit Myself #2. A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan! I Nearly Shit Myself #3. When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself #4. When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! The, I Nearly Shit Myself, series are now being published under new titles with alternative endings.

Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 3 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 78 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself 3, is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself 3 is now being published as, The PLONKER with an alternative ending.

Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 1 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on 2017-05-15 with total page 94 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fun story packed with comedy/ horror, humour and a hugely different type of ghost, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that is if your sense of humour is up to it! Do you believe in ghosts? Bill begins to think differently as his first night shift back as a Security Guard gets off to a bumpy start and he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible during the Night Shift from hell. This book is now published as… Night Shift. Horror & Hilarity with a Banana Taste! This edition has an alternative ending.

Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 4 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew m Molloy. This book was released on with total page 62 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself 4: Nature has a funny way of doing things sometimes, and it only takes a slight change in an Ecosystem and everything can go to pot. Take parasites for example, they have developed themselves over millions of years, and even use us humans for their own ends. Like the unassuming tapeworm. Their reproduction can be quite amazing and the lengths they will go to get what they want, and like all living things, the end goal is to reproduce and multiply, but when humans get involved, it generally does not end well! When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! I Nearly Shit Myself, are a series of books that are written for the sole purpose of humour, but not just any old humour. This series of books are aimed at readers with a warped and twisted sense of humour/humor. You have been warned. PG 18.

Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 1 4 written by Joe KING and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 2 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew m Molloy. This book was released on with total page 86 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself 2, is a comedy/horror story with a strange type of entity, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that is if your sense of humour is up to it! This fun detective story from Joe KING, has plenty of humour/humor to give you something quite different to read! A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan!

Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 1 2 3 4 written by Joe King and published by . This book was released on 2018-09-11 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF 1 2 3 And 4 written by Joe KING and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2017-11-20 with total page 343 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF, is a compilation of four short stories of comedy/horror, ghost and the supernatural, with profanity from the beginning, and will have something for every level of sense of humour, and you will need it, with these very different and unique short stories from Joe KING.This book has been re-titled, and is also being sold as NIGHT SHIFT, The BOG!, The PLONKER, INFECTED. These versions also contain alternative endings!From the Author.Having decided to re-title this book because I wanted to create, Tales from the funny(dark)side series, then realising after it cannot be replaced by the new edition. I decided that instead of having it listed not for sale any longer, I saw this as an opportunity to add an alternative ending. Like all books, sometimes after they are published new ideas do pop up, so I have rewritten the ending with something just as strange and I hope, as funny!Happy Reading, Joe.Tale 1; A fun packed comedy/horror, and a very different type of ghost, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that's if your sense of humour is up it!Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night shift back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, they are out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible!Tale 2; A detective story with horror and plenty of humour to give you something very different to read!A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers, and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack Mckenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of this city, and they soon realise they will have to go the down the sewers to find out what is killing all these people. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan!Tale 3; This dark tale will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour will be pushed to its limits!When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken, was never going to have a happy ending! Tale 4; With comedy/horror and a very strange tale of why rules are sometime not meant to be broken. This story will make you think twice before going off for a secluded skinny dip!Nature has a funny way of doing things sometimes, and it only takes a slight change in an Ecosystem and everything can go to pot. Take parasites for example, they have developed themselves over millions of years, and even use us humans for their own ends, like the unassuming tape worm. Their reproduction can be quite amazing and the lengths they will go to get what they want, and like all living things, the end goal is to reproduce and multiply, but when humans get involved, it generally does not end well!When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins!

Download or read book The Sausage Man written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 61 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Gavin Granger relocates to Tameworth to sell his brand of sausage, little did he realise that things were going to take a turn for the worse, and the better, in this short tale of humour and a mild dose of horror. For years, Gavin had been selling his exotic sausage from his pitch up North, but as things got a little hairy and trade took a tumble, Tameworth was his choice of relocation. With a newfound zeal to sell his special brand of sausage from his van and his new pitch, things were going well until the locals began to suspect there was more to his sausage than just the porky variety. As things escalate out of his control, and the police sniff round his sausage, Gavin must come up with a plan to get out of this mess that is mounting up and fast. With his livelihood in jeopardy once more, rumours soon begin to take on a life of their own as two local business he has had dealings with mysteriously disappear, causing Gavin to rethink his exotic brand of sausage with his secret ingredient in and come up with a plan that keeps his dream of selling his sausage alive! With local pets going missing, fingers soon point to one man and his sausage. Will Gavin find a way out of this mess or will his small sausage business get shafted? Determined to survive, there was only one way forward for Gavin the sausage man. More.

Download or read book Magnetifico written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 134 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Magnetifico: Tales for the Funny(dark)side. When brothers Tommy and Mick Stone go on a reconciliation weekend to the Welsh valleys, little did they realise that they were going to get caught in the middle of something so out of this World, it is going to change their lives forever. Since childhood, both had gone their separate ways in life. Mike, an academic with a family, children, and a bright future. Tommy, living life on the edge. Going from scam to scam to make ends meet without a care in the world. Neither of them would believe what they would find on that weekend of bonding, and neither would forget the tragic set of circumstances they have now found themselves in the middle of. But what they do not realise is that this mysterious event they have now witnessed, has drawn them into a deadly game of life and death. With changes happening to them, and events happening in the background they have no concept of, they return to their lives thinking they are the only ones who know the truth. How wrong could they have been as this alien contact story leads the brothers on an adventure they will never forget!

Download or read book The Fat Bird written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 86 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Fat Bird is a compelling short story from Joe KING, that depicts the lives of a working-class family, and how it can all fall apart when given the right set of circumstances. A story of trust, hope, despair and how relationships within the family unit are interdependent, yet independent of each other. When Josie's failed relationship leads her on a journey of overeating and tremendous weight gain, she finds solace in an unlikely friend. A Robin, she names The Fat Bird. After a one-night stand with her ex-boyfriend, she not only realises she is pregnant, but now faces the prospect of raising her child alone. Her parent’s relationship is falling apart, and they too must try to come to terms with the prospect of divorce. Josie's abusive father has also been overindulging for many years, and he too faces a bleak future with his weight-gain now putting his job at risk. All three must now try to find a path in life which can bring them back from the brink of a complete family meltdown, or face a destiny only reserved for those on a path of self-destruction, and ultimately... death. With Josie's fathers drinking spiralling out of control, and her mother ready to walk out, can they bring their lives back to the place it once used to be! Or has it all gone too far?

Download or read book Climate Change You And Your Garden written by Andrew M Molloy and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Climate Change: You, and your Garden. Climate change has become such a common word these days that we can fall into the trap of misunderstanding its importance as gardeners, and in our lives in general. This general guide will help show you how your garden can help with climate change. How you can add features and plants that will contribute to a user-friendlier garden, and how to create a more bio diverse garden to help the decline in plant, insect and mammal species. This book also contains some general information on climate change and how it is affecting You and Your garden. The world we all share is changing, and we do, as gardeners need to adapt, and change with the climate we all now face. Your garden is yours to do as you wish, so why not help the planet and also create a place for your local wildlife.

Download or read book The SIGNAL Part Five Liev Malik written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on 2022-04-15 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As this epic Sci fi concludes, Ava has finally discovered how to correct all her mistakes, but like everything she is learning about humans, they never do as she predicts. Liev Malik is the only one who can change the past to recover a possible future. Time again is running out to stop the planet from regressing into anarchy. With each Nexus point returned to, a new wave of destruction threatens all life on Earth. Nova, the nemesis Ava must destroy, is also learning and planning to preserve her own self inside the invisible world she resides in. But not for the greater good of the human species, she wants the world for herself. As Liev Malik's life gets turned inside out, and Ava trying to figure out how to reverse all that the Earth has gone through, Liev Malik is once again called upon to rid the planet of those that have wrought havoc as his role is made clear. Kill, with no remorse for those select few that believe their own interests are greater than the masses. Ava must leave no traces of her existence behind but falling in love is something she had never planned for and doubts emerge on what she must do. Wrestling with her own emotions, there was only ever one real choice, but other people with their own ideas trying to stop her, the utopian nexus she must find was never going to be easy but leaving Rebecca will be the hardest thing she has ever had to do.

Download or read book The Magic Mushroom written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 62 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Magic Mushroom: Tales from the Funny(dark)side. Down in the deepest, darkest, parts of the Borneo jungle, Joanne and Willy Foreskin were looking for the next big discovery in the botanical world. They had recently graduated from university and as a combined honeymoon, come holiday, this was their perfect getaway. For the last five years they had been studying hard and were now excited to finally be in a place to discover something so amazing, it would make them superstars in the botanical world overnight, but after the first night, they soon realised that things were not going to plan. When things get out of control a special fungus is let loose into the modern world, with explosive consequences! Mark Malkin, and his OCD take a funny turn when he accidently gets given a mushroom so unique, it can bring on the worst side effect known to man. A fart so fowl, it literally can cause instant panic, but as Mark finds out, the worst is yet to come, from the magic mushroom!

Download or read book Hotel Grandee written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 73 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hotel Grandee: Tales from the Funny(dark)side. Hotel Grandee, a place where people and food go hand in hand in another dollop of Joe KING’s strange stories from the Tales from the Funny(dark)side series. When Shane Long decides that a weekend break is needed from his humdrum life of drinking, little did he realise that the weekend he was about to go on was going to turn out the way it did? All his adult life, Shane had been a heavy drinker. The problems were not when Shane was sober, because he was normally a gentle giant. The problems came when he drank. Gone was the mild-mannered giant. A monster inside Shane’s mind would transform him into an arrogant, obnoxious ogre, who took great delight in teasing and causing trouble to whomever he came across. Now, aged forty, Shane realises he is never going to find the One by drinking and abusing others. His plan for one last weekend binge on a Greek island would be his last, but as the trip gets underway. Nothing is as it seems. Shane soon finds himself doing something he would never do. Helping a stranger, but it was never going to turn out well, not now he is booked into Hotel Grandee.

Download or read book The PLONKER written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 74 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The PLONKER is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending!

Download or read book Tig you re it written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 123 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Toby Macintyre gets a new job exhuming an ancient gravesite for a new housing development, never would he have thought in the 21st century that the spirit world existed and has now targeted his family in a unique way. In this traditional haunting tale of a curse put upon those that burned a special witch alive, she has now come back to take revenge on those who wronged her. When Toby begins to discover the truth, never would he have believed that such few words could do so much harm. Tig, you’re it. An innocent game, or an ancient curse? The next time you dig up an old grave and have those words whispered in your ear, do as I do, pass it on before it is too late!