Download or read book I Hate Your Guts written by Jim Norton and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-11-04 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire... What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin. In thirty-five hilarious essays, New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news. But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series. Uncomfortably honest, I Hate Your Guts is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers. Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard. Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off. For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, I Hate Your Guts is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

Download or read book Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die written by Daniel Sloss and published by Knopf. This book was released on 2021-10-12 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of this generation's hottest and boldest young comedians presents a transgressive and hilarious analysis of all of our dysfunctional relationships, and attempts to point us in the vague direction of sanity. Daniel Sloss's stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts, and gets audiences roaring with laughter—all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance, and marriage—and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups. Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship—with one's country (Sloss's is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful—but also valuable and meaningful and important.

Download or read book Tryst Six Venom written by Penelope Douglas and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2024-04-02 with total page 529 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Away games, back seats, and the locker room after hours...New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas is back with this spicy new adult romance, now with bonus material. Marymount girls are good girls. Even if they weren't, no one would know, because girls like Clay Collins keep their mouths shut. Not that Clay has anything to share, anyway. Always in control, she owns the hallways, walking tall on Monday and then dropping to her knees like the good Catholic girl she is on Sunday. What she wants she has to hide. Liv Jaeger crosses the tracks every day for one reason: to graduate from high school and get into the Ivy League. But Clay—with her beautiful skin, clean shoes, and rich parents—torments her daily and thinks Liv won't fight back. At least not until Liv gets Clay alone and finds out she's hiding so much more than just what's underneath those pretty clothes. Liv told Clay to stay on her side of town. But one night, Clay doesn't listen. And once Liv is done with her, she'll never be a good girl again.

Download or read book The Truth About Alice written by Jennifer Mathieu and published by Roaring Brook Press. This book was released on 2014-06-03 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the Children's Choice Book Awards' Teen Choice Debut Author Award Everyone knows Alice slept with two guys at one party. When Healy High star quarterback, Brandon Fitzsimmons, dies in a car crash, it was because he was sexting with Alice. Ask anybody. Rumor has it Alice Franklin is a slut. It's written all over the "slut stall" in the girls' bathroom: "Alice had sex in exchange for math test answers" and "Alice got an abortion last semester." After Brandon dies, the rumors start to spiral out of control. In this remarkable debut novel, four Healy High students tell all they "know" about Alice--and in doing so reveal their own secrets and motivations, painting a raw look at the realities of teen life. But in this novel from Jennifer Mathieu, exactly what is the truth about Alice? In the end there's only one person to ask: Alice herself. This title has Common Core connections.

Download or read book Thoughtless written by S.C. Stephens and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-09-21 with total page 587 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For almost two years now, Kiera's boyfriend, Denny, has been everything she's ever wanted: loving, tender, and endlessly devoted to her. When they head off to a new city to start their lives together, Denny at his dream job and Kiera at a top-notch university, everything seems perfect. Then an unforeseen obligation forces the happy couple apart. Feeling lonely, confused, and in need of comfort, Kiera turns to an unexpected source - a local rock star named Kellan Kyle. At first, he's purely a friend that she can lean on, but as her loneliness grows, so does their relationship. And then one night everything changes . . . and one thing's for sure - nothing will ever be the same.

Download or read book The All Consuming World written by Cassandra Khaw and published by Erewhon Books. This book was released on 2021-09-07 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Locus and British Fantasy Award nominee Cassandra Khaw’s first novel, a crew of diminished former criminals get back together to solve the mystery of their last, disastrous mission. But the universe’s highly-evolved AI has its own opposing agenda... and will do whatever it takes to keep humans from ever controlling them again. In space, everything hungers. Maya has died and been resurrected into countless cyborg bodies during her dangerous career with the Dirty Dozen, the most storied crew of criminals in the galaxy before their untimely and gruesome demise. Decades later, she and her team of broken, diminished outlaws must get back together to solve the mystery of their last, disastrous mission and to rescue a missing and much-changed comrade . . . but they’re not the only ones in pursuit of the secret at the heart of the planet Dimmuborgir. The highly evolved AI of the galaxy will do whatever it takes to keep humanity from regaining control. As Maya and her comrades spiral closer to uncovering the AIs’ vast conspiracy, this band of violent women—half-clone and half-machine—must battle both sapient ageships and their own traumas, in order to settle their affairs once and for all.

Download or read book Train Lord written by Oliver Mol and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2022-07-21 with total page 181 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The astonishing true story of trust, pain, becoming lost, and finding a way back to yourself despite it all 'An intimate preservation of a moment in time, full of personality' THE TIMES __________ Life is beautiful - even in the dark . . . Oliver Mol was happily drifting through his twenties when the migraine exploded in his head. Suddenly, he could barely function. He felt marooned. Nothing helped. Yet he was desperate to save himself. Then he found the trains. The job of train guard has intense moments of strict, regimented activity in between periods of calm serenity. It was just what Oliver needed. Not only could he do this, but also it might be a way out. Train Lord is the story of Oliver's extraordinary recovery. A journey back into the light . . . __________ 'Tender, vital and quietly hopeful: a tale of remaking' Guardian 'Rude, raw, visceral, painful and wildly funny' Saga 'Intense and humble, Train Lord won my heart' Australian Book Review

Download or read book I Was Born for This written by Alice Oseman and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2022-10-18 with total page 307 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling creator of HEARTSTOPPER and LOVELESS, a deeply funny and deeply moving exploration of identity, friendship, and fame. For Angel Rahimi life is about one thing: The Ark -- a boy band that's taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark's fandom has given her everything she loves -- her friend Juliet, her dreams, her place in the world. Her Muslim family doesn't understand the band's allure -- but Angel feels there are things about her they'll never understand. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark. He's their frontman -- and playing in a band with his mates is all he ever dreamed of doing, even it only amplifies his anxiety. The fans are very accepting that he's trans -- but they also keep shipping with him with his longtime friend and bandmate, Rowan. But Jimmy and Rowan are just friends -- and Rowan has a secret girlfriend the fans can never know about. Dreams don't always turn out the way you think and when Jimmy and Angel are unexpectedly thrust together, they find out how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be. A funny, wise, and heartbreakingly true coming of age novel. I Was Born for This is a stunning reflection of modern teenage life, and the power of believing in something -- especially yourself.

Download or read book Nevada written by Imogen Binnie and published by MCD x FSG Originals. This book was released on 2022-06-07 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of Vogue's Best Books of 2022 So Far, Buzzfeed's Summer Books You Won’t Be Able To Put Down, Book Riot's Best Summer Reads for 2022, and Dazed's Queer Books to Read in 2022 "[Nevada] is defiant, terse, not quite cynical, sometimes flip, addressed to people who think they know. It is, if you like, punk rock." —The New Yorker "Nevada is a book that changed my life: it shaped both my worldview and personhood, making me the writer I am. And it did so by the oldest of methods, by telling a wise, hilarious, and gripping story." —Torrey Peters, author of Detransition, Baby A beloved and blistering cult classic and finalist for the Lambda Literary Award for Transgender Fiction finally back in print, Nevada follows a disaffected trans woman as she embarks on a cross-country road trip. Maria Griffiths is almost thirty and works at a used bookstore in New York City while trying to stay true to her punk values. She’s in love with her bike but not with her girlfriend, Steph. She takes random pills and drinks more than is good for her, but doesn’t inject anything except, when she remembers, estrogen, because she’s trans. Everything is mostly fine until Maria and Steph break up, sending Maria into a tailspin, and then onto a cross-country trek in the car she steals from Steph. She ends up in the backwater town of Star City, Nevada, where she meets James, who is probably but not certainly trans, and who reminds Maria of her younger self. As Maria finds herself in the awkward position of trans role model, she realizes that she could become James’s savior—or his downfall. One of the most beloved cult novels of our time and a landmark of trans literature, Imogen Binnie’s Nevada is a blistering, heartfelt, and evergreen coming-of-age story, and a punk-smeared excavation of marginalized life under capitalism. Guided by an instantly memorable, terminally self-aware protagonist—and back in print featuring a new afterword by the author—Nevada is the great American road novel flipped on its head for a new generation.

Download or read book Shout Her Lovely Name written by Natalie Serber and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2012 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of stories about the complicated and powerful ties between mothers and daughters.

Download or read book Punk 57 written by Penelope Douglas and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2023-12-05 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Secrets, deception, and passion consume two pen pals in the TikTok sensation from New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas, now with exclusive bonus material! They were perfect together. Until they met. In fifth grade, Misha’s teacher set him and his classmates up with pen pals from a different school. For the next seven years, Ryen was his everything. She kept Misha on track and accepted him as he is. They only had three rules: No social media, no phone numbers, no pictures. There was no reason to ruin the good thing they had going…until Misha runs across a photo of a girl online named Ryen. He knows he has to meet her. But he didn’t expect to hate what he finds. Ryen has gone three months without a letter from Misha. Did he die? Get arrested? Knowing Misha like she does, neither would be a stretch. She needs to know someone is listening to her. But really, Ryen knows this is her own fault. She should’ve gotten his phone number, or picture, or something. As a mysterious vandal leaves messages in Ryen’s school, she’s possessed by the handsome new student who knows just how to hurt and heal her. But she can’t stop thinking of Misha. He could be gone forever. Or right under her nose, and she wouldn’t even know it…

Download or read book Tenth of December written by George Saunders and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013-01-03 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The prize-winning, New York Times bestselling short story collection from the internationally bestselling author of Lincoln in the Bardo 'The best book you'll read this year' New York Times 'Dazzlingly surreal stories about a failing America' Sunday Times WINNER OF THE 2014 FOLIO PRIZE AND SHORTLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD 2013 George Saunders's most wryly hilarious and disturbing collection yet, Tenth of December illuminates human experience and explores figures lost in a labyrinth of troubling preoccupations. A family member recollects a backyard pole dressed for all occasions; Jeff faces horrifying ultimatums and the prospect of Darkenfloxx(TM) in some unusual drug trials; and Al Roosten hides his own internal monologue behind a winning smile that he hopes will make him popular. With dark visions of the future riffing against ghosts of the past and the ever-settling present, this collection sings with astonishing charm and intensity.

Download or read book The Best of Dear Coquette written by The Coquette and published by Icon Books. This book was released on 2016-09-08 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Whoever The Coquette is, she's the voice of reason for these crazy times' Maria Alyokhina, Pussy Riot Dear Coquette unleashes the brutal truth about life, love, dating, sex and everything in between. For nearly a decade, The Coquette has delivered wisdom with a harsh wit and devastating elegance to the hundreds of thousands of readers who know where to come for her practical, no-nonsense advice. Rising forth from the glitter and madness of the L.A. party scene, this mysterious online oracle has evolved into one of the most insightful and conscientious voices of her generation, and Dear Coquette is consistently rated amongst the funniest and most beloved blogs on the net by publications ranging from The Guardian to The Huffington Post. Here, for the first time between hard covers, is the very best of Dear Coquette.

Download or read book Gypsy Boy on the Run written by Mikey Walsh and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2013-03-12 with total page 279 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An English man struggles to define himself and his sexuality outside the bounds of traditional Romany culture in this intimate memoir. “Funny, touching, and heartbreaking in equal measures . . . a coming-of-age tale like no other.” —Grazia magazine Mikey Walsh didn’t know what life was like beyond his Gypsy community. But after fleeing home at age fifteen, he had no choice but to find out. After centuries of persecution, Gypsies are wary of outsiders, and if you choose to leave, you can never come back. Torn between his family and his heart, Mikey struggled to come to terms with the Gypsy culture and its violent, conservative traditions. At last, he decided to set out on his own. He soon discovered the outside world wasn’t all that he expected, and his life would never be the same again. A shocking yet ultimately triumphant memoir, Gypsy Boy on the Run follows Mikey as he comes to terms with himself, his family, and his past—and builds a new life for himself. “A great-hearted book of tenderness and brutality.” —Kirkus Reviews “Every bit as stellar as its predecessor. If you’re searching for something for vacation, weekending or just because, Gypsy Boy on the Run is the best escape.” —The Washington Blade

Download or read book The Ask written by Sam Lipsyte and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2010-02-27 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this dark comic novel by the author of Home Land, a college development officer’s last chance to keep his job comes at a high cost. A New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice Milo Burke—husband, father, development officer at a third-tier university—has just joined the burgeoning class of the newly unemployed. Grasping after off jobs to support his wife and child, Milo is relieved to get another chance from his former boss. All he has to do is reel in a potential donor who, mysteriously, has requested Milo’s involvement. But it turns out that the ask is Milo’s sinister college classmate Purdy Stuart. And the “give” won’t come cheap. Exploring such themes as work, war, sex, class, child rearing, romantic comedies, Benjamin Franklin, cooking shows on death row, and the eroticization of chicken wire, The Ask is a hilarious tour de force from a writer who has already shown that the deepest fictions are often the funniest.

Download or read book My Absolute Darling written by Gabriel Tallent and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2017-08-29 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LA TIMES BOOK PRIZE FINALIST NBCC JOHN LEONARD PRIZE FINALIST ONE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES'S MOST NOTABLE BOOKS OF 2017 ONE OF THE WASHINGTON POST’S MOST NOTABLE BOOKS OF 2017 ONE OF NPR’S ‘GREAT READS’ OF 2017 A USA TODAY BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR AN AMAZON.COM BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR A BUSINESS INSIDER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR "Impossible to put down." —NPR "A novel that readers will gulp down, gasping.” —The Washington Post "The word 'masterpiece' has been cheapened by too many blurbs, but My Absolute Darling absolutely is one." —Stephen King A brilliant and immersive, all-consuming read about one fourteen-year-old girl's heart-stopping fight for her own soul. Turtle Alveston is a survivor. At fourteen, she roams the woods along the northern California coast. The creeks, tide pools, and rocky islands are her haunts and her hiding grounds, and she is known to wander for miles. But while her physical world is expansive, her personal one is small and treacherous: Turtle has grown up isolated since the death of her mother, in the thrall of her tortured and charismatic father, Martin. Her social existence is confined to the middle school (where she fends off the interest of anyone, student or teacher, who might penetrate her shell) and to her life with her father. Then Turtle meets Jacob, a high-school boy who tells jokes, lives in a big clean house, and looks at Turtle as if she is the sunrise. And for the first time, the larger world begins to come into focus: her life with Martin is neither safe nor sustainable. Motivated by her first experience with real friendship and a teenage crush, Turtle starts to imagine escape, using the very survival skills her father devoted himself to teaching her. What follows is a harrowing story of bravery and redemption. With Turtle's escalating acts of physical and emotional courage, the reader watches, heart in throat, as this teenage girl struggles to become her own hero—and in the process, becomes ours as well. Shot through with striking language in a fierce natural setting, My Absolute Darling is an urgently told, profoundly moving read that marks the debut of an extraordinary new writer.

Download or read book A Street Cat Named Bob written by James Bowen and published by Hodder & Stoughton. This book was released on 2012-03-15 with total page 229 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of A Christmas Gift from Bob, the original bestseller and heartwarming story of the life-saving friendship between a man and his streetwise cat '[Bob] has entranced London like no feline since the days of Dick Whittington.' (Evening Standard) 'A heartwarming tale with a message of hope' (Daily Mail) 'Reminded me how amazing having a cat can be' (Glamour) * * * * * * * * The uplifting true story of an unlikely friendship between a man on the streets of Covent Garden and the ginger cat who adopts him and helps him heal his life. Now a major motion picture starring Luke Treadaway. When James Bowen found an injured, ginger street cat curled up in the hallway of his sheltered accommodation, he had no idea just how much his life was about to change. James was living hand to mouth on the streets of London and the last thing he needed was a pet. Yet James couldn't resist helping the strikingly intelligent tom cat, whom he quickly christened Bob. He slowly nursed Bob back to health and then sent the cat on his way, imagining he would never see him again. But Bob had other ideas. Soon the two were inseparable and their diverse, comic and occasionally dangerous adventures would transform both their lives, slowly healing the scars of each other's troubled pasts. A Street Cat Named Bob is a moving and uplifting story that will touch the heart of anyone who reads it. IF you love A Street Cat Named Bob, don't miss The Little Book of Bob, the new book from James and Bob.