Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Download or read book Don t Kill Your Baby written by Jacqueline H. Wolf and published by Ohio State University Press. This book was released on 2001 with total page 314 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ""An outstanding contribution to the history of medicine and gender, "Don't Kill Your Baby" should be on the bookshelves of historians and health professionals as well as anyone interested in the way in which medical practice can be shaped by external forces." -Margaret Marsh, Rutgers University How did breastfeeding-once accepted as the essence of motherhood and essential to the well-being of infants-come to be viewed with distaste and mistrust? Why did mothers come to choose artificial food over human milk, despite the health risks? In this history of infant feeding, Jacqueline H. Wolf focuses on turn-of-the-century Chicago as a microcosm of the urbanizing United States. She explores how economic pressures, class conflict, and changing views of medicine, marriage, efficiency, self-control, and nature prompted increasing numbers of women and, eventually, doctors to doubt the efficacy and propriety of breastfeeding. Examining the interactions among women, dairies, and health care providers, Wolf uncovers the origins of contemporary attitudes toward and myths about breastfeeding. Jacqueline H. Wolf is assistant professor in the history of medicine, Department of Social Medicine, Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine, and adjust assistant professor, Women's Studies Program, Ohio University.
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby A Slightly Useless Guide written by and published by . This book was released on 2012 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." —Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." —Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The 's-a-g-e' in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." —Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." —Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not to Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not to Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What to Expect When You're Expecting. How Not to Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Children written by Kenneth Charles Hutchin and published by . This book was released on 1968 with total page 318 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book 101 Ways To NOT Kill Your Baby written by Brad Gosse and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2023-04-24 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you searching for the perfect gag, baby shower gift? This is a joke book! Welcome to my essential dark humor guide for new parents: '101 Ways To Not Kill Your Baby'. Written by a comedian, this guide is packed with cautionary tales that highlight the potential dangers that babies can face, and practical advice on how to keep them safe. With a dark and humorous tone, the guide covers a range of scenarios that all parents should be aware of, such as hazards in construction zones, outdoor areas, and even at home with household pets. From protecting your baby from poisonous animals to keeping harmful substances out of reach, this guide covers all the essential tips and tricks to help you protect your little one.
Download or read book Infanticide written by Margaret G. Spinelli and published by American Psychiatric Pub. This book was released on 2008-08-13 with total page 310 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Maternal infanticide, or the murder of a child in its first year of life by its mother, elicits sorrow, anger, horror, and outrage. But the perpetrator is often a victim, too. The editor of this revealing work asks us to reach beyond rage, stretch the limits of compassion, and enter the minds of mothers who kill their babies -- with the hope that advancing the knowledge base and stimulating inquiry in this neglected area of maternal-infant research will save young lives. Written to help remedy today's dearth of up-to-date, research-based literature, this unique volume brings together a multidisciplinary group of 17 experts -- scholars, clinicians, researchers, clinical and forensic psychiatrists, pediatric psychoanalysts, attorneys, and an epidemiologist -- who focus on the psychiatric perspective of this tragic cause of infant death. This comprehensive, practical work is organized into four parts for easy reference: Part I presents historical and epidemiological data, including a compelling discussion of the contrasting legal views of infanticide in the United States, United Kingdom, and other Western countries, a review of the latest statistics on maternal infanticide, and a discussion of the problems of underreporting and the lack of available documentation. Part II covers the psychiatric, psychological, cultural, and biological underpinnings of infanticide, detailing how to identify, evaluate, and treat postpartum psychiatric disorders. The authors explore clinical diagnosis, symptom recognition, risk factors, biological precipitants, and alternative motives, such as cultural infanticide. Chapter 3, developed to assist the attorney or mental health professional in understanding the implications of postpartum psychiatric illness as they relate to infanticide, presents a sensitive and thorough inquiry into infanticidal ideation. Part III focuses on contemporary legislation, criminal defenses, and disparate treatment in U.S. law and compares U.S. law with the U.K.'s model of probation and treatment. Chapter 8 is an especially useful resource for the attorney or expert psychiatric witness preparing for an infanticide/neonaticide case in the criminal court system. Part IV discusses clinical experience with mothers as perpetrators and countertransference in therapy, the range of mother-infant interactions (from healthy to pathological), and methods of early intervention and prevention. This balanced perspective on a highly emotional issue will find a wide audience among psychiatric and medical professionals (child, clinical, and forensic psychiatrists and psychologists; social workers; obstetricians/gynecologists and midwives; nurses; and pediatricians), legal professionals (judges, attorneys, law students), public health professionals, and interested laypersons.
Download or read book How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids written by Jancee Dunn and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2017-03-21 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Get this for your pregnant friends, or yourself" (People): a hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice. Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in Slate Featured in People Picks A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year One of Mother magazine's favorite parenting books of the Year How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper? Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate -- and rebuild -- your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children. Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.
Download or read book Nutshell written by Ian McEwan and published by Anchor. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 174 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A “suspenseful, dazzlingly clever and gravely profound” (The Washington Post) novel that brilliantly recasts Shakespeare and lends new weight to the age-old question of Hamlet's hesitation, from the Booker Prize winner and bestselling author of Atonement. Trudy has been unfaithful to her husband, John. What’s more, she has kicked him out of their marital home, a valuable old London town house, and in his place is his own brother, the profoundly banal Claude. The illicit couple have hatched a scheme to rid themselves of her inconvenient husband forever. But there is a witness to their plot: the inquisitive, nine-month-old resident of Trudy’s womb. As Trudy’s unborn son listens, bound within her body, to his mother and his uncle’s murderous plans, he gives us a truly new perspective on our world, seen from the confines of his. Don’t miss Ian McEwan’s new novel, Lessons, coming in September!
Download or read book Strike the Baby and Kill the Blonde written by Dave Knox and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everything You Need to Know to Become a Film-Industry Insider Have you ever wondered what the difference is between a gaffer and a grip? Or what makes the best boy so great? In Strike the Baby and Kill the Blonde,* Dave Knox, a top camera operator and longtime veteran of the film industry, gives you the inside story on the lingo and slang heard on the set. This is an A-to-Z guide to making a movie: the equipment, the crew, and the sometimes hilarious terminology—everything you need to know to sound like a seasoned pro. * Remove the small spotlight from the set and switch off the two-kilowatt quartz light.
Download or read book The Common Law Inside the Female Body written by Anita Bernstein and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 2019 with total page 275 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Explains why lawyers seeking gender progress from primary legal materials should start with the common law.
Download or read book Policing the Womb written by Michele Goodwin and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 2020-03-12 with total page 339 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Policing the Womb, Michele Goodwin explores how states abuse laws and infringe on rights to police women and their pregnancies. This book looks at the impact of these often arbitrary laws which can result in the punishment, incarceration, and humiliation of women, particularly poor women and women of color. Frequently based on unscientific claims of endangering a fetus, these laws allow extraordinary powers to state authorities over reproductive freedom and pregnancies. In this book, Michele Goodwin discusses real examples of women whose pregnancies have been controlled by the law and what has led to the United States being the deadliest country in the developed world for a woman to be pregnant.
Download or read book Pocket Book of Hospital Care for Children written by World Health Organization and published by World Health Organization. This book was released on 2013 with total page 442 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Pocket Book is for use by doctors nurses and other health workers who are responsible for the care of young children at the first level referral hospitals. This second edition is based on evidence from several WHO updated and published clinical guidelines. It is for use in both inpatient and outpatient care in small hospitals with basic laboratory facilities and essential medicines. In some settings these guidelines can be used in any facilities where sick children are admitted for inpatient care. The Pocket Book is one of a series of documents and tools that support the Integrated Managem.
Download or read book How I Tried to Kill My Baby s Daddy written by Imagineimunique and published by Publishamerica Incorporated. This book was released on 2009-06 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brenda had tried several times to kill Billy, and in all of her trying you will not believe how he finally got caught up; you may not believe it but Brenda had nothing to do with it. Now donat get it twisted, Brenda was not bitter; she was mad as hell. Brenda and Billy had a ten-year-old son, and after eight years, he decided his job was complete as far as taking care of their son was concerned. He would find jobs that paid under the table, so child support was not an option; it looked like a sister had to take matters into her own hands. This was funny; she tried to kill him on twelve different occasions, once a month for an entire damn year while selling him sex. So does Brenda want to see him deadalet me count the ways.
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Husband written by Sandra Cabot and published by SCB International. This book was released on 2011 with total page 101 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Balancing your hormones can save your marriage, as well as your husband's life.
Download or read book Super Nutrition for Babies written by Katherine Erlich and published by Quarto Publishing Group USA. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For parents in favor of cookbooks that “sound like brass-tacks science” these whole food recipes “fit the bill” (TheNew York Times). There is a better way to feed your baby. Super Nutrition for Babies gives parents the latest science-verified nutritional recommendations for feeding their child. Based on a program used at one of the largest holistic practices in the country, this book provides information on all aspects of nutrition and feeding, including introducing meat in a child’s diet, healthier alternatives to dairy and soy, starting solid foods, establishing a regular eating schedule, dealing with picky eating, and the best foods for every age and stage so your baby gets the best nutrition to minimize illness and optimize sleep, digestion, and brain development. “A wonderful guide for getting babies off to the right start, and helping them enjoy the gift of health for life.” —Sally Fallon Morell, President, Weston A. Price Foundation “A clear, practical, and nontrendy guide for parents on how to best feed babies and toddlers, backed by common sense, ancestral wisdom, and sound science.” —Kaayla T. Daniel, Ph.D., C.C.N., Vice President, Weston A. Price Foundation, and author of The Whole Soy Story: The Dark Side of America’s Favorite Health Food “Super Nutrition for Babies is something that every expectant and new mother and father should read. This book is a rare treasure!” —Natasha Campbell-McBride, M.D., author of Gut and Psychology Syndrome “A grand reference book that can be used for many years of a child’s life.” —Nancy Appleton, Ph.D., best-selling author of Healthy Bones and Lick the Sugar Habit
Download or read book Cribsheet written by Emily Oster and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2019-04-23 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of Expecting Better and The Family Firm, an economist's guide to the early years of parenting. “Both refreshing and useful. With so many parenting theories driving us all a bit batty, this is the type of book that we need to help calm things down.” —LA Times “The book is jampacked with information, but it’s also a delightful read because Oster is such a good writer.” —NPR With Expecting Better, award-winning economist Emily Oster spotted a need in the pregnancy market for advice that gave women the information they needed to make the best decision for their own pregnancies. By digging into the data, Oster found that much of the conventional pregnancy wisdom was wrong. In Cribsheet, she now tackles an even greater challenge: decision-making in the early years of parenting. As any new parent knows, there is an abundance of often-conflicting advice hurled at you from doctors, family, friends, and strangers on the internet. From the earliest days, parents get the message that they must make certain choices around feeding, sleep, and schedule or all will be lost. There's a rule—or three—for everything. But the benefits of these choices can be overstated, and the trade-offs can be profound. How do you make your own best decision? Armed with the data, Oster finds that the conventional wisdom doesn't always hold up. She debunks myths around breastfeeding (not a panacea), sleep training (not so bad!), potty training (wait until they're ready or possibly bribe with M&Ms), language acquisition (early talkers aren't necessarily geniuses), and many other topics. She also shows parents how to think through freighted questions like if and how to go back to work, how to think about toddler discipline, and how to have a relationship and parent at the same time. Economics is the science of decision-making, and Cribsheet is a thinking parent's guide to the chaos and frequent misinformation of the early years. Emily Oster is a trained expert—and mom of two—who can empower us to make better, less fraught decisions—and stay sane in the years before preschool.
Download or read book Will Mozart Make My Baby Smart written by Andrew Whitehouse and published by Apollo Books. This book was released on 2013 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is there a more remarkable process than the creation of human life? Aided by little more than a bottle of wine, a Barry White tune and an agreeable mood, a woman and man can create a truly extraordinary organism.
