Download or read book How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man written by Mary McHugh and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2009-03-17 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.

Download or read book How Not to Become a Little Old Lady written by Mary McHugh and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2008-03-01 with total page 145 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You can be little. You can be old. You can be a lady. But you don’t have to be a little old lady! We’ve all seen her, hunched forward, her hair tucked neatly under a plastic rain bonnet. She’s clutching expired coupons, or discussing her latest health problems over lunch. She’s a little old lady . . . and she's coming your way at 2 mph. Little old ladies have elastic waistbands on all their slacks. They save rubber bands, remember fifteen-cent McDonald’s hamburgers, and have never seen a public rest room that was clean enough. How Not to Become a Little Old Lady is for any woman who is proud to have escaped little old ladyhood—or those in danger of slipping into it. Lighthearted and affectionately funny, it also includes charming illustrations from Adrienne Hartman.

Download or read book Refire Don t Retire written by Ken Blanchard and published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers. This book was released on 2015-02-02 with total page 141 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bring a renewed sense of purpose to the next chapter of your life with the New York Times bestselling author’s guide to thriving in retirement. Many people see their later years as a time to endure rather than as an exciting opportunity. Yet research and common sense confirm that people who embrace these years with energy and gusto consistently find them to be rich and rewarding. In Refire! Don't Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz offer inspiring insight and thought-provoking questions to help people make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. In the trademark Ken Blanchard style, the authors tell the compelling story of Larry and Janice Sparks, who discover how to see each day as an opportunity to enhance their relationships, stimulate their minds, revitalize their bodies, and grow spiritually. As they learn to be open to new experiences, Larry and Janice rekindle passion in every area of their lives. Readers will find humor, practical information, and profound wisdom in Refire! Don't Retire. Best of all, they will be inspired to make all the years ahead truly worth living.

Download or read book If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow Here s How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll written by Mary McHugh and published by Willow Creek Press. This book was released on 2014-07-12 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With this delightful, tongue-in-cheek guide for men who can win a case before the Supreme Court or run a conglomerate but can’t find the butter, Ms. McHugh provides a step-by-step guide for making breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, finding the clothes hamper and doing the laundry, along with an assortment of other domestic necessities. She continues with wise advice for men whose wives are pregnant—“How to Live with a Pregnant Wife Without Complaining about Anything While Making Her Feel Sexy and Desirable At All Times”, tells them how to go without sleep for three months after the baby is born, and finishes up with “How to Watch Football and the Baby at the Same Time.” A chapter on taking care of three small boys while staying sane should be on every young father’s emergency list for times when his wife is out of town on business or visiting her mother in Iowa. And finally, instructions on answering a ringing telephone, folding shirts for a business trip and finding his wallet, keys, glasses, socks and underwear are absolute must-reads for every man who thinks some invisible being does all those things. Aimed at busy women of all ages, this book will also make grown men laugh and might even be useful when they run out of underwear.

Download or read book How to Become a Sweet Old Lady Instead of a Grumpy Old Grouch written by Marilynn Carlson Webber and published by Zondervan Publishing Company. This book was released on 1996 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With practicality and humor, these anecdotes show how choices we make in our 30s and 40s determine who we will become as we grow older--and how making right choices helps us develop positive traits including courage to face change, growth in grace, and contentment.

Download or read book One Trick Pony written by Nathan Hale and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2017-03-14 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The aliens have arrived. And they’re hungry for electricity. In the Earth of the future, humans are on the run from an alien force—giant blobs who suck up electrical devices wherever they can find them. Strata and her family are part of a caravan of digital rescuers, hoping to keep the memory of civilization alive by saving electronics wherever they can. Many humans have reverted to a pre-electrical age, and others have taken advantage of the invasion to become dangerous bandits and outlaws. When Strata and her brother are separated from the caravan, they must rely on a particularly beautiful and rare robot pony to escape the outlaws and aliens—and defeat the invaders once and for all.

Download or read book Ur Special written by Danny Casale and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on the wildly popular characters from Coolman Coffeedan, a colorful and charming collection of parables reminding us to face our fears, our anxieties, and our self-consciousness head-on. What do a naked cat, a sad turtle, an armless robot, and a sentient potato have in common? Quite a lot, actually! In this vibrant and heartfelt book, self-proclaimed bad animator Danny Casale delivers a much-needed jolt of positivity and humor to ease even the sourest of spirits. Fans of his Coolman Coffeedan accounts will recognize his simple and relatable illustrations, but the material is entirely new. Each chapter introduces a new friend and a new hardship, offering the perfect pick-me-up for whatever has you down. Tackling topics from loneliness and self-confidence to the perfect (ONLY) way to construct a bowl of cereal, this book will leave you feeling just fine. So don’t forget—no matter what you may be feeling on the inside, or what people may be saying on the outside, UR SPECIAL!

Download or read book Don t Ever Look Back written by Daniel Friedman and published by Minotaur Books. This book was released on 2014-04-22 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: DON'T EVER GET OLD was one of mystery-publishing's biggest critical successes last year, earning starred reviews from every major trade publication, garnering nominations for the Edgar, Thriller, and Anthony awards, and winning the Macavity Award for Best First Novel. The producer of four Harry Potter films and the Sherlock Holmes sequel, Lionel Wigram, is set to produce the film version. In Daniel Friedman's new novel, set in Memphis, Tennessee, and four months after the events of DON'T EVER GET OLD, eighty-eight-year-old Buck Schatz is reluctantly coming to terms with the fact that he can only move around with the aid of a walker, and his dementia seems to be getting worse. So when one of Buck's long-time foes, a bank-robber named Elijah, comes to Buck looking for protection from mysterious pursuers, Buck wavers. In the end, his desire to cement his legacy by closing out a series of long-unsolved robberies overwhelms his usual antipathy toward doing favors for people he dislikes. Buck agrees to broker Elijah's surrender to the authorities, if Elijah will promise to confess to his long-ago crimes. But nothing involving Elijah, or Buck, is ever simple, and Elijah's plans for Buck are more sinister than they first appeared. Written in Buck's signature voice and featuring a mystery that will knock your socks off, DON'T EVER LOOK BACK takes a decades-old feud between two dangerous—and now elderly—men and brings it to a final, explosive conclusion.

Download or read book Notes From the Midnight Driver written by Jordan Sonnenblick and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2010-02-01 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just when you thought you had it all figured out . . . "Alex Peter Gregory, you are a moron!" Laurie slammed her palms down on my desk and stomped her foot. I get a lot of that.One car crash.One measly little car crash. And suddenly, I'm some kind of convicted felon.My parents are getting divorced, my dad is shacking up with my third-grade teacher, I might be in love with a girl who could kill me with one finger, and now I'm sentenced to babysit some insane old guy.What else could possibly go wrong?This is the story of Alex Gregory, his guitar, his best gal pal Laurie, and the friendship of a lifetime that he never would have expected.

Download or read book Dogs with Old Man Faces written by Tom Cohen and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 2013-10-01 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sure, it's easy to love a cute puppy with adorable eyes. But there's just something about those dogs with old man faces, with mugs weathered by experience and wisdom. Dogs with Old Man Faces combines heartwarming photos with humorous captions, sure to make anyone laugh and love their old dogs even more.

Download or read book The Novel Cure written by Ella Berthoud and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-12-30 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Delightful... elegant prose and discussions that span the history of 2,000 years of literature."—Publisher's Weekly A novel is a story transmitted from the novelist to the reader. It offers distraction, entertainment, and an opportunity to unwind or focus. But it can also be something more powerful—a way to learn about how to live. Read at the right moment in your life, a novel can—quite literally—change it. The Novel Cure is a reminder of that power. To create this apothecary, the authors have trawled two thousand years of literature for novels that effectively promote happiness, health, and sanity, written by brilliant minds who knew what it meant to be human and wrote their life lessons into their fiction. Structured like a reference book, readers simply look up their ailment, be it agoraphobia, boredom, or a midlife crisis, and are given a novel to read as the antidote. Bibliotherapy does not discriminate between pains of the body and pains of the head (or heart). Aware that you’ve been cowardly? Pick up To Kill a Mockingbird for an injection of courage. Experiencing a sudden, acute fear of death? Read One Hundred Years of Solitude for some perspective on the larger cycle of life. Nervous about throwing a dinner party? Ali Smith’s There but for The will convince you that yours could never go that wrong. Whatever your condition, the prescription is simple: a novel (or two), to be read at regular intervals and in nice long chunks until you finish. Some treatments will lead to a complete cure. Others will offer solace, showing that you’re not the first to experience these emotions. The Novel Cure is also peppered with useful lists and sidebars recommending the best novels to read when you’re stuck in traffic or can’t fall asleep, the most important novels to read during every decade of life, and many more. Brilliant in concept and deeply satisfying in execution, The Novel Cure belongs on everyone’s bookshelf and in every medicine cabinet. It will make even the most well-read fiction aficionado pick up a novel he’s never heard of, and see familiar ones with new eyes. Mostly, it will reaffirm literature’s ability to distract and transport, to resonate and reassure, to change the way we see the world and our place in it. "This appealing and helpful read is guaranteed to double the length of a to-read list and become a go-to reference for those unsure of their reading identities or who are overwhelmed by the sheer number of books in the world."—Library Journal

Download or read book Happiness Will Follow You written by Tejvan Pettinger and published by . This book was released on 2011-03-24 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I wrote these articles over a period of 12 months. Part of the motivation for writing them was that I found the act of writing helpful for my own spiritual life. Of course, writing and reading about what you should be doing is the easy part, actually living them and putting them into practise is the real test. Many of the quotes in this book are from my spiritual teacher, Sri Chinmoy. As a student of Sri Chinmoy I have learnt a great deal about meditation and how to live a more peaceful life.Included are also a few stories by Sri Chinmoy on the theme of self-improvement, from his wonderful book, "The Mind-Jungles and The Heart-Gardens of Life."I hope you get some inspiration from this book and it might help you to make some practical changes which help make life less stressful and more peaceful. It certainly is possible."

Download or read book How to Ruin Your Children s Lives written by Mary McHugh and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2004 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but the alien known as teenager comes from a place way beyond those two. What else would account for that incredible transformation from loving child to the hostile creature who wants zilch to do with dear old Mom and Dad? How to Ruin Your Children's Lives is a survival manual for enduring this transmutation and-with a little luck-maintaining enough sanity to one day hear those longed-for words, Hey, I guess you weren't so stupid after all.Purple hair? Belly rings? Bizarre musical tastes? Not a problem as long as readers have How to Ruin Your Children's Lives' nearly 300 tips and tactics close at hand. With resident teenagers slamming doors and screaming at the top of their lungs, Mom! You're ruining my life! parents should at least make certain they're handling the job with aplomb.Consider these tips: o Call them at their friend's house to ask if they want lasagna for dinner.o Ask them about girlfriends (or boyfriends) in front of relatives.o Tell them about the time you streaked when you were in college.o Sing old Beatles songs when their friends are in the car.o Dress like Christina Aguilera.Author Mary McHugh is right on target. She shows parents how to match attitude with attitude and how to carry on whether the teen-parent subject is sex, using the family car, grades, or curfews. This book's perfect for any parent in the trenches and for empty nesters trying to stem their tears.

Download or read book Hot and Sweaty Rex written by Eric Garcia and published by Villard. This book was released on 2004-03-02 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Vincent Rubio, the most hard-boiled reptile detective ever, is back on the case in the third installment of Eric Garcia’s cult mystery series about dinosaurs who are still alive and committing crimes in L.A. Rubio’s latest assignment: the dinosaur mafia. As fans of Anonymous Rex and Casual Rex already know, the dinosaurs faked their extinction and live among us, disguising themselves as humans in elaborately designed latex costumes. Anyone could be a dinosaur. Your podiatrist. The crotchety old man who lives next door. Julia Roberts, it is well known, is actually a Stegosaur. When the head of the Raptor mafia asks Vincent Rubio to perform a service, he has no choice but to head for Miami to investigate a team of Hadrosaurs who are muscling in on Raptor territory. It’s dangerous business. Make the wrong move and your tail gets chopped off. Eric Garcia’s third Rex novel is a wildly entertaining mystery and an instant classic of dinosaur mafia fiction—further proof that this gifted author really knows where the bones are buried.

Download or read book God Level Knowledge Darts written by Desus & Mero and published by Random House. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Desus & Mero are smarter and funnier than everyone writing books.”—Shea Serrano “I will never write anything as hilarious as they have. I give up.”—Malcolm Gladwell “These motherf***ers make me laugh until I choke.”—Jia Tolentino NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPR A wild, hilarious guide to life from the hosts of the hit late-night show Desus & Mero and the Bodega Boys podcast Who could have predicted that, after a fateful meeting in a Bronx summer school in the 1990s, Desus & Mero would turn their friendship into an empire of talking to each other. And it’s no surprise—tuning in to them is like listening to the funniest, smartest people you know dissect a topic and then light it on fire. Now they’ve written the most essential guide to life of this century*, in which all the important questions are asked: How do I talk to my kids about drugs if I do them, too? What are the ethics of ghosting in a relationship? How do I bet on sports? How should I behave in jail? How much is too much to spend on sneakers? Is porn really that bad for me? As they put it: “We want to share all we’ve learned, after years in the Bronx streets, with you: the people. So with a lifetime spent building up a plethora of information from trials and tribulations and a handful of misdemeanors, we decided to write this book—a sequel to the Bible, or maybe to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,depending on how big a nerd you are. Let this book be your North Star.” *NO REFUNDS

Download or read book East of the Mountains written by David Guterson and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2012-05-01 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Dr Ben Givens left his Seattle home he never intended to return. It was to be a journey past snow-covered mountains to a place of canyons, sagelands and orchards, where, on the verges of the Columbia River, Ben had entered the world and would now take his leave of it.

Download or read book Between Shades of Gray written by Ruta Sepetys and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-03-22 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The inspiration for the major motion picture Ashes in the Snow! "Few books are beautifully written, fewer still are important; this novel is both." --The Washington Post From New York Times and international bestseller and Carnegie Medal winner Ruta Sepetys, author of Salt to the Sea, comes a story of loss and of fear -- and ultimately, of survival. A New York Times notable book An international bestseller A Carnegie Medal nominee A William C. Morris Award finalist A Golden Kite Award winner Fifteen-year-old Lina is a Lithuanian girl living an ordinary life -- until Soviet officers invade her home and tear her family apart. Separated from her father and forced onto a crowded train, Lina, her mother, and her young brother make their way to a Siberian work camp, where they are forced to fight for their lives. Lina finds solace in her art, documenting these events by drawing. Risking everything, she imbeds clues in her drawings of their location and secretly passes them along, hoping her drawings will make their way to her father's prison camp. But will strength, love, and hope be enough for Lina and her family to survive? A moving and haunting novel perfect for readers of The Book Thief. Praise for Between Shades of Gray: "Superlative. A hefty emotional punch." --The New York Times Book Review "Heart-wrenching . . . an eye-opening reimagination of a very real tragedy written with grace and heart." --The Los Angeles Times "At once a suspenseful, drama-packed survival story, a romance, and an intricately researched work of historial fiction." --The Wall Street Journal * "Beautifully written and deeply felt . . . An important book that deserves the widest possible readership." --Booklist, starred review “A superlative first novel. A hefty emotional punch.”--The New York Times Book Review “A brilliant story of love and survival.”--Laurie Halse Anderson, bestselling author of Speak and Wintergirls * “Beautifully written and deeply felt…an important book that deserves the widest possible readership.”--Booklist, Starred Review