Download or read book Hot Chicks with Douchebags written by Jay Louis and published by Gallery Books. This book was released on 2008-07-08 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Greasy foreheads. Spiky frosted hair. Oiled-up faces dripping with Tag Body Shot spray. Armani Exchange T-shirts and rank cologne wafting off their backs like fetid pollen clouds as they pump their fists and attempt to grind into any hotties nearby. Young beauties oblivious to the hulking monstrosity clutching at their butts like snapping turtles on Red Bull. From sea to douchey sea, ours is a culture plagued by this festering blight. By the dark forces of über-douchebaggery. How did this happen? What can we do to confront the douchebag/hottie plague that rots our collective souls like boils sent by a wrathful and angry God? And how can you recover if you or your loved one is 'bag? Now, for the first time, there is an answer to those questions that haunt our collective will and sap our culture of any claim to societal advance: Why hottie/douchebaggery? Why now? And why are douche-faces so silly? In this book we dissect, analyze, contemplate and mock the rank douchescrotes that pollute our country's hottie supply on a daily basis. Every branch of the douche-tree will be examined. Every corner of our cultural rot will be exposed. And if we can lust after their hotties along the way, then all the better.

Download or read book Look at My Striped Shirt written by The Phat Phree and published by Crown. This book was released on 2006-12-26 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Target. Observe. Ridicule. You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. Based on the wildly popular essay on ThePhatPhree.com by Mike Polk, this book is a look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on Earth. It’s the best of ThePhatPhree.com plus more than fifty all-new, hilarious pieces written by some of your favorite writers from this site. Everyone’s (Least) Favorite, The Striped-Shirt Guy … I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him. I will tell him, “Take it easy on the brakes, champ”! When I do not hook up with a girl at the club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks” and wait in line at another bar, only to strike out again! Your “Cool” High School Teacher … Here are some things I allow in my class that other teachers don’t: eating, drinking, swearing, dancing, smoking, fighting, cell phones, Texas hold ’em, iPods, and sex. Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? No? Me either. I’m just wearing it as a goof. The Guy with Amazing Taste in Music … Personally, I haven’t listened to the radio in fifteen years. If you have ever heard a band on the radio, then I can assure you, I am not a fan. I stopped listening to American music about ten years ago.

Download or read book Five Ways to Fall written by K.A. Tucker and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-06-24 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sometimes you can’t change—and sometimes you just don’t want to. Read Ben’s side of the Ten Tiny Breaths story in this romantic coming of age novel by the beloved, top-selling indie author praised for her “likeable characters, steamy liaisons, and surprising plot twists” (Kirkus Reviews). Purple-haired, sharp-tongued Reese MacKay knows all about making the wrong choice; she’s made plenty of them in her twenty-odd-years. So when her impulsive, short-lived marriage ends in heartbreak, she decides it’s time for a change. She moves to Miami with the intention of hitting reset on her irresponsible life, and she does quite well…aside from an epically humiliating one-night stand in Cancun with a hot blond bouncer named Ben. Thank God she can get on a plane and leave that mistake behind her. Football scholarship and frat parties with hot chicks? Part of charmer Ben Morris’s plan. Blown knee that kills any hope of a professional football career? So not part of the plan. Luckily Ben has brains to go with his knockout looks and magnetism. After three long years of balancing law school with his job as a bouncer at Penny’s Palace, he’s ready to lead a more mature life—until his first day of work, when he finds himself in the office of that crazy, hot chick he met in Cancun. The one he hasn’t stopped thinking about. If Ben truly were a smart guy, he’d stay clear of Reese. She’s the boss’s stepdaughter and it’s been made very clear that office romances are grounds for dismissal. Plus, rumor has it she’s trouble. The only problem is, he likes trouble, especially when it’s so good-looking…

Download or read book Alpha Douchebag The Prince written by S.N. GARZA and published by SNGARZAbooks. This book was released on 2020-07-16 with total page 439 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fall in love with the Alpha Douchebags of Grifton Falls University! A new adult, contemporary romance series with all the angst, passion and dirty, foul-mouthed boys who know how to handle girls with curves. These college boys think it’s all fun and games... until they meet the one. Alpha Douchebag: The Prince, is part of a DUET!!!! The Alpha Douchebags have two rules. No girlfriends. No kissing on the mouth. All his life, Gabriel Saint has had everything he’s ever wanted. The house. The truck. The girls. His college rugby team is a shoe-in for state championship. His senior year is supposed to be his best yet. All the girls want him. All the guys want to be him. Until freshman Willow Mason shows up and throws his world off its axis. And suddenly, everything he wants, doesn’t matter anymore. All he wants is her. All he sees, is her. He won’t let anything stand in his way. When Willow gets a scholarship to one of the top ten universities in the nation, she knew she couldn’t give the opportunity away. But when she arrives on campus, she’s hated on sight. The little college town doesn’t like outsiders. She doesn’t let the privileged, rich, elitists get the best of her. When she locks stares with the most powerful and popular guy on campus, she tries to resist, but not for long. Soon they’re spending every waking minute together. He can’t get enough of her sweet, tempting body and she falls deeper in love with a guy who may never love her back.

Download or read book Macdonald Hall 1 This Can t Be Happening at Macdonald Hall written by Gordon Korman and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-09-01 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gordon Korman's classic, bestselling series celebrates its 35th anniversary! Macdonald Hall's ivy-covered buildings have housed and educated many fine young Canadians. But Bruno Walton and Boots O'Neal are far from being fine young Canadians. The roommates and best friends are nothing but trouble! Together they've snuck out after lights-out, swapped flags, kidnapped mascots . . . and that's only the beginning. Bruno and Boots are always in trouble. So the headmaster, a.k.a. "The Fish," decides it would be best to separate them. Bruno must now room with ghoulish Elmer Drimsdale, plus his plants, goldfish and ants. And Boots is stuck with nerdy, preppy, paranoid George Wexford-Smyth III.Of course, this means war. Because Bruno and Boots are determined to get their old room back, no matter what it takes. Join two of Gordon Korman's most memorable characters in seven side-splitting, rip-roaring adventures! Macdonald Hall is the series that started it all, and thirty-five years later it remains a must-read for old fans and new, the young — and the young at heart.

Download or read book Missing You written by Harlan Coben and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2022-03-08 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling author and creator of the hit Netflix drama The Stranger comes the #1 New York Times bestseller about the ties we have to our past—and the lies that bind us together—as the ultimate Internet scam unfolds... Surfing an online dating site, NYPD detective Kat Donovan feels her whole world explode. Staring back at her is her ex-fiancé, the man who shattered her heart—and whom she hasn’t seen in eighteen years. But when Kat reaches out to the man in the profile, an unspeakable conspiracy comes to light. As Kat begins to investigate, her feelings are challenged about everyone she’s ever loved—even her father, whose cruel murder so long ago has never been fully explained. With lives on the line, including her own, Kat must venture deeper into the darkness than she ever has before and discover if she has the strength to survive what she finds there.

Download or read book The Learning Hours written by Sara Ney and published by . This book was released on 2017-07-19 with total page 391 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: MY FRIENDS WANT ME TO GET LAID. So much so that they plastered my ugly mug all over campus, in bold printed letters: Are you the lucky lady who's going to break our roommate's cherry? Him: socially awkward man with average-sized penis looking for willing sexual partner... The morons can't even spell. And the texts I've been receiving are what wet dreams are made of. But I'm not like these douchebags, no matter how hard they try to turn me into one. THIS ISN'T THE KIND OF ATTENTION I WANT. One text stands out from hundreds. One number I can't bring myself to block. She seems different. Hotter, even in black and white. However, after seeing her in person, I know she's not the girl for me. But my friends won't let up-they just don't get it. Douchebags or not, there's one thing they'll never understand: GIRLS DON'T WANT ME. Especially her.

Download or read book Let s Pretend This Never Happened written by Jenny Lawson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-03-05 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Download or read book The Collector written by Victoria Scott and published by Entangled: Teen. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 332 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Witty, and so intriguing. I started reading and didn't want to stop. Victoria Scott is a fabulous new voice in YA.” —C.C. Hunter, author of the New York Times bestselling series SHADOW FALLS Dante Walker is flippin' awesome, and he knows it. His good looks, killer charm, and stellar confidence has made him one of Hell's best — a soul collector. His job is simple, weed through humanity and label those round rears with a big red good or bad stamp. Old Saint Nick gets the good guys, and he gets the fun ones. Bag-and-tag. Sealing souls is nothing personal. Dante's an equal opportunity collector and doesn't want it any other way. But he'll have to adjust, because Boss Man has given him a new assignment: Collect Charlie Cooper's soul within 10 days. Dante doesn't know why Boss Man wants Charlie, nor does he care. This assignment means only one thing to him, and that's a permanent ticket out of Hell. But after Dante meets the quirky, Nerd Alert chick he's come to collect—he realizes this assignment will test his abilities as a collector, and uncover emotions long ago buried. The Dante Walker series is best enjoyed in order. Reading Order: Book #1 The Collector Book #2 The Liberator Book #3 The Warrior

Download or read book Windy and Chatty written by Nick Richards and published by eBook Partnership. This book was released on 2015-08-25 with total page 249 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WINDY does not drink to forget. He just likes being drunk. Especially at school.CHATTY should not be in the English Army. But he is. Which is awkward when you are a lifelong hypochondriac.Windy is in love with Wendy, his second cousin once removed. But then so is Boswell, his third cousin once removed. The living should be easy for two young aristocrats at the turn of the 20th Century. Instead, they must help a deranged Headmaster with his scientifically dubious experiments, negotiate the terror of trench warfare and deal with the unwelcome advances of a certain German officer.But then cross-dressing is never, really, a good idea....

Download or read book Why Men Love Bitches written by Sherry Argov and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2002 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Describes why men are attracted to strong women and offers advice on ways a woman can relate to men and gain a man's love and respect.

Download or read book How to Be a Chick Magnet written by Calvin Biggs and published by . This book was released on 2014-11-09 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you want to be nothing short of a total chick magnet, then this book is for you!For women, attraction is not a choice. If women could choose who they were attracted to, then they wouldn't continually end up with the same emotionally vacant douchebags, who treat them poorly, drink too much, all while managing to still live in their mom's basement. Most of these "chick magnets" are clueless as to how or why they attract women. It's something they just do. While on the other hand, there are guys out there who appear to be doing everything right - they get up and go to work every morning, they're respectful towards women (and people in general), they're smart, funny - but they have the worst luck with the ladies. The reason for this discrepancy boils down to one thing: the reality of physical attraction for women. Most men have trouble understanding that a woman's way of perceiving male physical attraction is completely unlike a man's perception of female physical attraction. This book will help you understand and master the science of female physical attraction so you can be a chick magnet too.

Download or read book The Encyclopedia of Misinformation written by Rex Sorgatz and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2018-03-27 with total page 422 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “In an era of ‘alternative facts,’ Rex Sorgatz’s The Encyclopedia of Misinformation helps put things in perspective.” —Fast Company This compendium of misinformation, deception, and self-delusion throughout history examines fakery in the context of science and advertising, humor and law, sports and video games, and beyond. Entries span eclectic topics: Artificial Intelligence, Auto-Tune, Chilean Sea Bass, Clickbait, Cognitive Dissonance, Cryptids, False Flag Operations, Gaslighting, Gerrymandering, Kayfabe, Laugh Tracks, Milli Vanilli, P.T. Barnum, Photoshopping, Potemkin Villages, Ponzi Schemes, Rachel Dolezal, Strategery, Truthiness, and the Uncanny Valley. From A to Z, this is the definitive guide to how we are tricked, and how we trick ourselves. “Occasional salty language and pop-culture references make this compendium of 300 short entries a delightful mix of high- and lowbrow.” —Booklist

Download or read book ARISEN Nemesis written by Michael Stephen Fuchs and published by Complete & Total Asskicking Books, London UK. This book was released on 2024-03-18 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Readers call the ARISEN series: "the wildest and best rollercoaster I've ever been on" … "Pulse-pounding action at a relentless pace" … "THE ABSOLUTE BEST FREAKING SERIES IN THIS GENRE" … "the most unputdownable military zombie apocalypse arc ever" … "for adrenaline junkies only" … "A full-on express elevator to hell!!!" … "A one-of-a-kind ZA opus. The indomitable warrior spirit shines through from start to finish" … "the best I have ever read in apocalypse fiction of any kind" … "Riveting. Full of horror and beauty" … "These guys are the juggernauts of their genre" … "the best of the best! Sweeping, epic, engaging, and thrilling" … "keeps on delivering action, thrills & destruction at every turn" … "Just one more page, I say, then it's 2am again" … "Another literary heart attack" When a lethal viral outbreak turns humanity into flesh-eating abominations, a team of elite special operators takes refuge in the lawless Horn of Africa to survive the apocalypse. Joined by Kate, a veteran female soldier attached to the unit, and led by their seasoned team sergeant, Jake, this group of outrageously skilled but all-too-human warriors must defend their hidden bush camp from the undead horde, as well as relentless attacks by a murderous jihadist warlord. Outgunned and outnumbered against an enemy bent on their annihilation, Team Triple Nickel will fight with desperate grit and valor to carry out their mission, while holding on to their humanity. But when a rescue operation into the impenetrable al-Shabaab Stronghold goes bad, decimating their ranks, those still standing must attempt a last desperate bid to save one of their own held captive, before an unstoppable swarm of millions of ravenous undead descends upon them all. Salvation. Vengeance. Vanity. NEMESIS With over a 1.5 million copies sold, the world's most thrilling and best-loved military ZA series returns to the fall of man – and the war after the fall. ARISEN : NEMESIS is now an Amazon #1 bestseller in Post-Apocalyptic Science Fiction and #1 in Dystopian. Can be read as a standalone novel, an intro to the series, or at any point alongside the main series. ARISEN Hope Never Dies

Download or read book Arisen written by Michael Stephen Fuchs and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2021-12-08 with total page 334 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Readers call the ARISEN series: "the new Gold Standard - by far the most thoughtful and intriguing zombie series ever written" ... "the most harrowing, sustained action sequences I think I've ever read" ... "the wildest and best rollercoaster I've ever been on" ... "They grab you on the first page and kick your ass through the entire series" ... "you never know what the hell is coming at you next" ... "not only the best zombie apocalypse series in print, it's also better than any military classic written by Clancy, Coyle or Poyer" ... "Every time I think it cannot get any better, BAM!" ... "the best post-apocalyptic military fiction there is" ... "You feel like the explosions are going off beside your head" ... "Blows World War Z out of the water" ... "insane propulsive storytelling" ... "Wall to wall adrenaline - edge of your seat unputdownable until the very last page" Two teams of pipe-hitting special-operations Marines, a tribe knit tight as steel cable. One Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman, struggling to find his place and keep the others alive. And everything at the end of the world exploding spectacularly at all times... The world's last nuclear supercarrier, its support ships, and its Marine Raider guardians have survived the first months of post-Apocalypse. But now they must keep their 7,500 souls fed, their non-nuclear vessels fueled, and their honor clean - by deciding whether to risk everything by coming to the aid of beleaguered American troops in contact, in the most remote combat outpost in the world. Their lonely battles and struggles will take them from the teeming slums off the west coast of India, to the world's tallest building in Dubai, to an idyllic desert-island paradise they can briefly call home, and finally into the unforgiving heights and impossible decisions of the Hindu Kush. Brotherhood. Sacrifice. Survival. DEAD MEN WALKING ARISEN Hope Never Dies.

Download or read book Junk Mail written by Kendall Ryan and published by Kendall Ryan. This book was released on 2019-04-23 with total page 203 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It all started with a sexy selfie. Texted to the wrong number. Oops. Not my finest moment—but I have nothing to be ashamed of. She thought I was no better, and I quote, than the knuckle-dragging douche-bags she was never dating again. It was a stupid dare from a girl I’d met online, but since she’d given me a fake number, I didn’t feel bad that my interests were suddenly focused elsewhere—on the fiery and sharp-tongued, Peyton that I found myself sparring with over text for the rest of the evening. The following day, my case of mistaken identity came back to bite me in the banana. When I strolled into the office, I was introduced to Peyton as the new client I needed to win over. The Peyton , in case you're not tracking. And let’s just say she had my full attention. Brains? Check. Beauty? Oh yeah. And the best part? She hated me on sight. Dear God, do I love a challenge. Let the games begin.

Download or read book The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words written by Alexis Munier and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-09-18 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Inside this book: The dirtiest words in the English language! And we're not just talking about those infamous seven words you can't say on TV. We're talking about more than 1,000 of the blessedly profane insults, obscenities, and vulgarities that make English the richest--and raunchiest--language on earth. In The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words, you'll find the dirtiest of the dirty, along with the most deliciously obscene variations from English-speaking countries around the world. So go ahead, call your ex/boss/landlord a barmy, crop-dusting, kickin', frackin', bloody son-of-a-bitch dickwad. Swear. Loudly. You'll be friggin' glad you did. Because with this nastiest of nasty wordbooks, you'll find talking dirty has never been more fun--or more filthy!