Download or read book The World s Funniest Lawyer Jokes written by Steven D. Price and published by Skyhorse Publishing Inc.. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most clever, sidesplitting collection of lawyer jokes . . . bar...

Download or read book Hilarious Lawyer Jokes written by Steven D. Price and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-02-10 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What is it about lawyers that has made them the butt of hundreds and hundreds of jokes over the centuries? Whatever the reason, everyone—including lawyers and judges themselves—has had a hearty chuckle over attorney-aimed humor. Hilarious Lawyer Jokes pokes the most fun (and malice) at a profession that has been targeted with humorous jabs for centuries. From this single hilarious source, with full-color illustrations, get your one-liners (Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The rest are true stories.), your historical and literary quotations (Litigation: A machine that you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage—Ambrose Bierce: The Devil’s Dictionary), and all the lengthier, fun-to-share forensic funnies you can handle, such as: A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, “I love my BMW, I love my BMW.” Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. “My BMW! My BMW!” he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, “Sir, sir, you’re bleeding. And, my god, your left arm is gone!” The lawyer looked down and screamed, “My Rolex! My Rolex!” In summation, you must find Hilarious Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe attorney to many hours of laughter.

Download or read book Lawyers Joke Book written by Chester Croker and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-18 with total page 92 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have lots of fun and laughter with this hilarious lawyers joke book. Lawyers, attorneys, legal executives, paralegals and others will enjoy this collection of funny jokes for lawyers. You will be rolling on the floor with laughter at this huge case load of gags. This mixture of lawyer jokes are laugh out loud funny and will prove that lawyers have a good sense of humor. This book is brand new in November 2020, and it is guaranteed to give you a permanent smile. Inside you will find many quality legal jokes, many cheesy lawyer jokes and many stories to make you laugh out loud. Do not delay, and buy it now!

Download or read book Lawyer Jokes Book written by Juicy Quotes and published by . This book was released on 2019-12-29 with total page 84 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this Lawyers Jokes Book you will find over 20 pages of funny lawyer jokes as well as over 50 more pages of jokes about other professions including jokes and puns about army, customer service, call centers, dentists, doctors, firemen, teachers and the navy. So there are lots of funny jokes and puns about lots of different professions including lots of lawyer jokes. Available in the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Germany and many other countries. Start enjoying lots of laughs from this joke book today!

Download or read book 101 Lawyer Jokes for Lawyers written by Elias Hill and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-09-24 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finally, a lawyer joke book created with lawyers in mind! This 101 Lawyer Jokes for Lawyers book is full of funny, humorous wisecracks that apply only to lawyers and the legal profession. You won't find "God doesn't think he's a lawyer" jokes here. These jokes poke fun at clients, the courtroom, litigation, judges and law school but still pays respect to the profession that advises people in legal matters. You'll find yourself arrested in laughter as you read through 101 Lawyer Jokes for Lawyers. Get a copy for yourself or for a lawyer with a good sense of humor!

Download or read book Lowering the Bar written by Marc Galanter and published by Univ of Wisconsin Press. This book was released on 2006-08-08 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do you call 600 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? Marc Galanter calls it an opportunity to investigate the meanings of a rich and time-honored genre of American humor: lawyer jokes. Lowering the Bar analyzes hundreds of jokes from Mark Twain classics to contemporary anecdotes about Dan Quayle, Johnnie Cochran, and Kenneth Starr. Drawing on representations of law and lawyers in the mass media, political discourse, and public opinion surveys, Galanter finds that the increasing reliance on law has coexisted uneasily with anxiety about the “legalization” of society. Informative and always entertaining, his book explores the tensions between Americans’ deep-seated belief in the law and their ambivalence about lawyers.

Download or read book How to Tell a Joke written by Marcus Tullius Cicero and published by Princeton University Press. This book was released on 2021-03-30 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Timeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audience Can jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience. As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes. Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking.

Download or read book Best Lawyer Jokes Ever written by Sterling Publishing Company and published by Sterling. This book was released on 2003 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Attorneys, judges, plaintiffs, and defendants: in these comic quips and riddles, everyone in the courtroom goes on trial"--Page 4 of cover.

Download or read book Law and Disorder Absurdly Funny Moments from the Courts written by Charles M. Sevilla and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2014-08-04 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More hilarious, unbelievable-but-true stories from our nation’s courts, from the author of Disorder in the Court and Disorderly Conduct. Charles M. Sevilla finds comic gems in court transcripts—and now brings readers a delightful, all-new collection. Starting with a chapter on the defendants (one of whom, when asked his marital status, replies after a long pause, "Adequate") and following with sections on lawyers, experts, witnesses, evidence, and even one called "Malaprops" (DA: The status of the boat has no relevance to this case at all. This is a total fishing expedition). Stories from Sevilla's previous books have become viral Internet sensations, priming readers for more legal disorder, such as: Clerk: Do you solemnly swear that the testimony you are about to given in the cause now pending before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Witness: Yes, I swear. I’ll say anything but the truth, nothing but the truth.

Download or read book The New Yorker Book of Lawyer Cartoons written by The New Yorker and published by Knopf. This book was released on 1993-11-30 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Critically acclaimed cartoonists including Addams, Steig, Arno, Shanahan, and Leo Cullum take pot shots at the legal profession in a collection of eighty-five cartoons from the pages of The New Yorker.

Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Download or read book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell written by Tucker Max and published by Citadel . This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 537 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."

Download or read book Legally Blonde written by Amanda Brown and published by Diversion Books. This book was released on 2015-11-15 with total page 297 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The funny romantic comedy about an unlikely law student with big dreams that inspired the blockbuster movie and the Broadway musical. Elle Woods, California University senior, seems to have it all. President of Delta Gamma sorority, a star in the classroom (her major: sociopolitical jewelry design)—and is on the verge of becoming the much-envied Mrs. Warner Huntington III. Too bad Warner, bound for Stanford Law, dumps her with the explanation that he now needs a more “serious” woman at his side. Faced with this unexpected reversal of fortune, Woods doesn't get depressed, she gets busy. Thanks to a creative application and a demand for “diversity” at Stanford Law, Elle gets her acceptance letter. Soon she's packing up her convertible—as well as her miniature Chihuahua—determined to win back her man, and to prove to herself that dreaming big is the only way to dream. Smart, fast, and funny. Legally Blonde proves just how much fun blondes really can have.

Download or read book Jokes and Targets written by Christie Davies and published by Indiana University Press. This book was released on 2011-05-23 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jokes and Targets takes up an appealing and entertaining topic—the social and historical origins of jokes about familiar targets such as rustics, Jewish spouses, used car salesmen, and dumb blondes. Christie Davies explains why political jokes flourished in the Soviet Union, why Europeans tell jokes about American lawyers but not about their own lawyers, and why sex jokes often refer to France rather than to other countries. One of the world's leading experts on the study of humor, Davies provides a wide-ranging and detailed study of the jokes that make up an important part of everyday conversation.

Download or read book The Best Lawyer Jokes Ever written by Beth Tripmacher and published by MetroBooks (NY). This book was released on 2002-05 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: -- Will tip the scales of laughter in your favor, sentencing you to hours of helpless hilarity with some of the funniest jokes and quotes from the hollowed halls of justice. -- More than 100 uproarious jokes -- Handsomely designed with lively illustrations -- A perfect gift for Father's Day, or for the new lawyer in the family.

Download or read book Bad Lawyer written by Anna Dorn and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2021-05-04 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Law school was never Anna Dorn's dream. It was a profession pushed on her by her parents, teachers, society... whatever. It's not the worst thing that can happen to a person; as Dorn says, law school was pretty "cushy" and mostly entailed wearing leggings every day to her classes at Berkeley and playing beer pong with her friends at night. The hardest part was imagining what it would be like to actually be a lawyer one day. But then she'd think of Glenn Close on Damages and Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, and hoped for the best. After graduation, however, Dorn realized that there was nothing sexy about being a lawyer. Between the unflattering suits, sucking up to old men, and spending her days sequestered in a soul-sucking cubicle, Dorn quickly learned that being a lawyer wasn't everything Hollywood made it out to be. Oh, and she sucked at it. Not because she wasn't smart enough, but because she couldn't get herself to care enough to play by the rules. Bad Lawyer is more than just a memoir of Dorn's experiences as a less-than-stellar lawyer; it's about the less-than-stellar legal reality that exists for all of us in this country, hidden just out of sight. It's about prosecutors lying and filing inane briefs that lack any semblance of logic or reason; it's about defense attorneys sworn to secrecy-until the drinks come out and the stories start flying; and it's about judges who drink in their chambers, sexually harass the younger clerks, and shop on eBay instead of listening to homicide testimony. More than anything, this book aims to counteract the fetishization of the law as a universe based entirely on logic and reason. Exposing everything from law school to law in the media, and drawing on Dorn's personal experiences as well as her journalistic research, Bad Lawyer ultimately provides us with a fresh perspective on our justice system and the people in it, and gives young lawyers advice going forward into the 21st century.

Download or read book Impractical Jokes written by Charlie Pickering and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2012 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'A diabolical ping-pong game of prank and counter-prank across the generations. Hilarious and warm-hearted, Impractical Jokes is both a comic evocation of the Australian larrikin spirit and an ode to a loving father.