Download or read book Hermitage Wat and Some Nuns written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2016-06-28 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the world’s best-selling author of comedy historical mysteries comes another largely pointless excursion. Medieval Shrewsbury is surely no place for murder. Not in this charming town would investigative monks wander around bothering people over every little incident. When Brother Hermitage arrives at Shrewsbury in the summer of 1068 something is up. Or rather down. Gilder, the great merchant is dead and Hermitage’s urge to investigate is overwhelming. His companions, Cwen and Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry think this is a very bad idea. So does the whole town Moot. And the sheriff and the rest of the population. And then there are the nuns. Hermitage has never been strong in the face of adversity and an adverse nun is more than he can cope with. A whole order of them is something to be strenuously avoided. But there is always his duty. It’s got him into trouble so many times; why should Shrewsbury be any different? “Like Cadfael meets Clousseau.” “Terry Pratchett does 1066.” “Rampant silliness.”

Download or read book Hermitage Wat and Some Druids written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2015-12-20 with total page 281 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brother Hermitage is at it again - this time with druids. Is it a murder mystery? Is it a thriller? Is it just something gone horribly wrong? When his nemesis, the Norman conqueror Le Pedvin orders him to Wales, Brother Hermitage knows it is going to go wrong. He's had a prophecy it's going to go wrong. And from his first steps on the road it strides firmly in that direction. Brother Hermitage, Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry and Cwen, weaver in her own right and the fiercest of the lot, are commanded to find one dead Norman in the whole of Wales - as usual under pain of death. Add to that some treasure and a druid curse or two, and we have the recipe for a laugh out loud historical tale like no other. (Apart from the other Chronicles of Brother Hermitage) It's all complicated enough, but when what seems like the whole of the country wants to join in, things get very messy. And then there are the druids, and stone circles, and sacrifices.... "he who has laughter on his side has no need of proof" Theodore Adorno

Download or read book The Garderobe of Death written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2012-01-10 with total page 360 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Medieval mystery the Howard of Warwick way; funny! Now also a book. Available where all good books gather together. England 1067: Henri de Turold, King William's favourite hunting companion has been murdered. How anyone actually did it, given the remarkably personal nature of the fatal wound, is a bit of a mystery. Lord Robert Grosmal, of disordered mind, disordered castle and Henri's host at the time, knows that King William gets very tetchy when his friends are murdered. He sends to the nearby monastery of De'Ath's Dingle for a monk to investigate. Medieval monks are usually good at this sort of thing. Brother Hermitage is a medieval monk but he's not very good at this sort of thing. Motivated by the point of a sword he and his companion Wat the weaver set off to solve the crime. Oh, by the way King William is arriving that night so they better get a move on. Brother Hermitage's second criminal investigation reveals many things. Improvement is not among them. If you are looking for a poignant evocation of the medieval world, an insightful exploration of the characters of the time, buy a different book. Ellis Peters is quite good. After this debacle he even has another go in The Tapestry of Death. Out now on Kindle What has been said of "The Heretics of Death" 'I laughed 'till I cried,' 5* 'medieval hysterical mystery – must read!' 5* 'buy this book. It is cheap and it will make you laugh ' 5* 'I don't think I'm the target audience,' 1* 'Hermitage you're an idiot' Prior Athan of De'ath's Dingle.

Download or read book The Heretics of De Ath written by Howard of Warwick and published by Chronicles of Brother Hermitage. This book was released on 2014-10 with total page 271 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: England 1066. During an utterly pointless debate at the austere monastery of De'Ath's Dingle, a monk dies in mysterious circumstances. Standing accused is Brother Hermitage, who needs to work out who did it before he's executed. More medieval than detective, he finds a companion in Wat the weaver, producer of tapestry to make Beowulf blush.

Download or read book A Murder for Brother Hermitage written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2018-09-24 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's more medieval mystery for people who laugh. Number 1 best selling, prize winning Howard of Warwick is back with volume 12 of the Chronicles of Brother Hermitage; "this time it's historical." Norman England is still full of real people; the incompetent, the hopeless and the just plain useless. But what’s this? At the monastery of his friend Abbot Abbo, a young, naive and bookish monk is killed in chapter 1? Surely not? It can’t be. The death of this particular monk sets off a chain of events that’s tangled to say the least. The news must be taken to Derby, home of Wat, erstwhile weaver of pornographic tapestry and Cwen, fierce and independent weaver in her own right. Then the death must be investigated, of course it must, and the guilty held to account. But the guilty seem to be queuing up in this case, and show not the least sign of shame, let alone guilt. In fact, they’re quite proud of what they've done. Brother Hermitage, the King’s Investigator, made a lot of enemies over the last 11 books. It was bound to go horribly wrong sooner or later. "Horrible" and "wrong" crop up quite often where Brother Hermitage is concerned. But, you need to read the book if you want to make any sense of all this; even then, there are no guarantees. Some people have said "hilarious", some have said "very, very funny," others have said "stupid" (the good and bad kind). Nearly 100,000 people have succumbed to the nonsense that is Howard of Warwick. 1,000 reviews, Amazon number 1s, 5* littering the floor of the scriptorium? There must be something in it. (May require prior reading of course HW101: medieval detection, the Hermitage years)

Download or read book Brother Hermitage s Christmas Gift written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2017-11-30 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a modest little tale for the season, Brother Hermitage heads for London. William Duke of Normandy is to be crowned King of England on Christmas day 1066 and he expects presents. For reasons beyond reason, the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle is invited to the ceremony and the only ones who can be let out on their own are Brother Hermitage and Wat the Weaver. But it will be a rush to get there. With only 7 days to travel over 100 miles, the pair must cross a frozen and largely lawless country if they are to make it to Westminster alive. And then there's the problem of Wat's attitude towards gifts in principle. He doesn't mind a reasonable exchange but simply giving sounds like a very poor deal. Perhaps the days of the journey will give Brother Hermitage the opportunity to breathe the spirit of the season into his weaving friend. Or perhaps not. Recent reviews for Howard of Warwick continue a theme: 5* "Very funny" 5* "Another demented tale" 5* "Briiiiiliant as always."

Download or read book A Murder for Master Wat written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2018-03-25 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: COMEDY; MEDIEVAL,CRIME. File under Howard of Warwick. (He invented the genre and must be held accountable). When weavers in the 11th century went out to play there was usually trouble. In this case, it's death, which Brother Hermitage, the King's Investigator, always finds very troublesome indeed. Wat the Weaver doesn't want to go to the weavers' Grand Moot in the first place and no one can make him. Except Mistress Cwen, of course. When they get there it all starts so well, but it only takes the blink of a bat's ear for murder to rear its ugly head and stare straight at Hermitage. He's starting to think that being King's Investigator is actually a cause of death in its own right. But this time, the perpetrators seem quite proud of their actions and have a lot more planned. Is this a race to stop a murder, rather than deal with all the mess afterwards? Hermitage certainly hopes so, although, as usual, he'd rather the whole thing just went away. A Grand Moot of weavers should be a time of joy, celebration and camaraderie, not greed, violence and a generous serving of just plain stupidity. Howard of Warwick invented Medieval Crime Comedy and doesn't know any better; 5* Hilarious 5* Laugh out Loud 5* Very silly 1* Silly (apparently "very" is worth 4*)

Download or read book Return to The Dingle written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2022-12-23 with total page 264 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Medieval Crime Comedy is now a thing. With multiple No 1 Best Sellers and nearly a quarter of a million sales, Howard of Warwick continues to muck about with the detective monk. But this one is a very funny sort of medieval mystery. Brother Hermitage wants there to be a murder? This can’t be right. In all of his previous excursions, he’s been pretty meticulous about avoiding the things. When an instruction arrives from the Normans to find a missing person, Hermitage seems keen to shirk his duty. At least that’s a familiar theme. But he’s the King’s Investigator, he doesn’t do missing persons, that must be someone else’s job. Knowing where the person may have gone missing might explain the trepidation. The clue’s in the title; De’Ath’s Dingle. That grim and dreadful monastery, which looms over Hermitage’s life like a falling loom, is calling him back. Perhaps he can try not listening. It will only be full of the old familiar faces, up to their old revolting tricks. And if someone has gone missing there, all hope is gone. But a shadow gathers in the west and the monastery is falling into darkness. Well, more darkness than normal. With Wat, Cwen and Bart, Hermitage tramps his reluctant path back to the Dingle, always hopeful that someone might be murdered on the way as a distraction. When he finally gets there, things are not at all as they should be. They should be truly awful, but this is simply peculiar. There is obviously something going on. Hermitage can see it, so why doesn’t anyone else believe him? And even when there is a murder, it doesn’t help much. Previous volumes have received comment. “Very good indeed, brilliant” BBC 5* Everything has to stop for a Hermitage book! Hilariously funny. 5* Yet another hilarious adventure for Brother Hermitage and his companions. 5* All the tales of the adventures of Hermitage the monk are genuinely funny and contain an intriguing plot

Download or read book The Investigator s Kingdom written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2022-08-24 with total page 247 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The world’s best-selling medieval crime comedies - and the most persistent. Howard of Warwick produces yet more nonsense mystery from days gone by. Just not gone by quite far enough. The Normans are coming, the Normans are coming. And they’re looking for Brother Hermitage. This cannot go well. It’s never gone well in the past so why should this time be any different? King William’s own messenger has come all the way from London looking for Brother Hermitage, the investigator. It can only mean one thing; a really important murder. Running away or hiding are obviously options, but the king’s messengers don't take “not available” for an answer. Hermitage hears the message and asks for it to be repeated, but still doesn't understand. He is easily confused but seldom so quickly. At least he has company. Wat the Weaver and Cwen are just as lost this time. Bart, the would-be investigator’s apprentice, is the only one who sees this very strange situation as an opportunity. And that’s a worry in its own right. Forced to travel to the far north, some fifteen miles away, Hermitage and the others make some alarming discoveries that go so far back in history, even Hermitage didn't see them coming. Still, meeting new people and hearing about their ways broadens the mind. Or threatens the life, one or the other. As usual, death is always close at hand, and it keeps looking at Brother Hermitage in a funny way. Then one character turns out to have a secret no one would have guessed. Not even if the threat of death made you guess really hard. “Very good indeed, brilliant” BBC 5* How on earth do you keep writing hilarious medieval murder mysteries? Ask Howard of Warwick’ 5* Always a Delight 5* Marvellous, laughed all the way through 5* This sorry world is in dire need of Brother Hermitage.

Download or read book The Investigator s Wedding written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2022-05-24 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Howard of Warwick Goes Again. From the No 1 best selling author of innumerable medieval murders comes… a wedding. Unfortunately, some weddings can also be murder. Wat and Cwen, both weavers of tapestry for the very strong of heart are to marry. Brother Hermitage, the King’s Investigator will be chief witness and so warnings are issued; there is to be no suspicious death ruining the big day. But no one told the Normans. Lord Walter d’Aincourt has been given Derby by King William and he is going to take it, wedding or not. In fact, he’ll help himself to anything else that takes his eye - or send some large Normans on horses to take it for him. If the wedding doesn’t go quite as planned, things aren’t much better in the Norman camp. One soldier ends up with a tent pole where there shouldn’t be one, and it’s business as usual for Brother Hermitage. He should be used to being accused of murder by now. However, there’s enough conflict between the Normans themselves for several decent suspects. All this situation needs is a reasoned approach, careful analysis, a well-constructed argument and some sensible discussion. Or a great big fight. And that’s how wedding receptions were invented. “very good indeed, brilliant” BBC 5* A funny happy series of books that cheer you up. 5* Outright laughter 5* Just as good as every other in the series 5* Laughed till my sides ached

Download or read book Murder Midst Merriment written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2023-07-24 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Amazon top 20 best seller, Howard of Warwick delivers a Medieval Crime Comedy for our times. Of course, if anyone is unable to keep up with the times, it’s going to be Brother Hermitage. Now nominated for the CWA 2024 Historical Dagger award. Influencers, the nature of truth, state propaganda? And all nearly 1,000 years ago. Some things never change. When conflicting versions of the Norman Conquest are offered to the people of Derby, Brother Hermitage is in the audience to hear both sides. But, if Brother Hermitage is in the audience, someone is at serious risk of ending up less alive than they used to be. As Wat and Cwen the weavers point out, Brother Hermitage, the King’s Investigator of murder, after all, was standing right there when the deed was done. How can he not know who did it? Well, he will simply have to investigate as he always does, and the facts will be revealed. Unfortunately, everyone seems to have their own version of the facts and they can’t all be right. When even the liars are lying about their lies, and the people who know the truth don’t know that they know it, things are bound to be confusing. But someone has been shot. With a bow and arrow, a rare item in Anglo-Saxon Derby. Someone must have seen something. And in this case, everyone is talking. They just aren’t saying anything reliable. Never fear. Brother Hermitage will knock this investigation on the head. Unless someone knocks him on the head first, of course. Non mitterent nuncio, as Hermitage might say. Don’t shoot the messenger. Oh, too late. The 29th Chronicle of Brother Hermitage carries the familiar warning; if you like your historical mysteries serious and sombre, look away now. 5* Hilarious medieval murder 5* Another hysterical masterpiece 5* Good humour and funny, clever characters

Download or read book How Many Monks written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2023-08-23 with total page 235 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Howard of Warwick, top 20 author with 18 No 1 Best Sellers, comes yet more murderous medieval nonsense. 5* Hilarious 5* Like Cadfael meets Clouseau 5* Another hysterical masterpiece. Very good indeed, brilliant. BBC Not content with being King William's investigator of murder, and he is not content with that at all, Brother Hermitage is now having his trouble delivered. The floods of Derby wash up something very specific and there is only one monk for the job. But who would do that to an abbot? And where did he come from? Not only will Hermitage have to discover a killer, he'll also have to find a monastery where there is none. Perhaps some detestable monks will be able to throw light on the situation. Could the Norman obsession with record-keeping turn out to be useful? At least this murder is only a short walk away, and Hermitage, Wat and Cwen traipse through a soggy countryside to discover more about monks and monasteries than the weavers ever wanted to know. The 30th - yes 30th Chronicle of Brother Hermitage continues the theme of a medieval detective monk who really shouldn’t be

Download or read book The Investigator s Apprentice written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2022-02-24 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Howard of Warwick; the best-seller with sole responsibility for the medieval crime comedy genre. “Like Cadfael meets Clouseau” "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Now contains added history. Brother Hermitage does worry. Even when there hasn’t been a murder, he worries that there probably has. It can’t do any harm to check, surely? Well, of course, it can. Has the King’s Investigator learned nothing from his previous 23 chronicles? No, of course he hasn’t. When word of death is brought from Derby, Hermitage is concerned this may be more than the usual weekly toll. A simple check should suffice, while a more complex and thorough one would be more satisfying. And this turns up quite a list. The Alodie family, who supposedly succumbed to plague; Maynard the Mighty who sweated to death and old Athlot; a ninety-year-old who fell off his roof. Hm, which one sounds a bit odd? And every good tale deserves a meanwhile… Meanwhile, off in the eastern marshes, a lone escapee from the Norman terror seeks Brother Hermitage with murder in mind. But the journey to Derby will be troublesome, including having to travel with a small band of Norman soldiers. But remember, in 1066 not all Normans took those first boats to Hastings. Some stayed behind to guard the territory. Others ensured that the land continued to flourish. Still more were too old or infirm to partake in the great adventure; And then one or two were simply best kept away from anything sharp. And everything is converging on the King’s Investigator. 5* If you've not read any of them then do yourself a favour and start right away… 5* This series, and Howard of Warwick’s books about what ‘really’ happened at Hastings in 1066, are hilarious 5* Such a good writer, it's a whole new slant on medieval mystery. The truth is out there, sort of! 5* History at its most hilarious

Download or read book Murder Most Murderous written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2021-11-24 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Best-Selling Howard of Warwick stumbles yet more medieval mystery that doesn't know when to stop. Warning: If you like your medieval detectives sombre and serious, this is not the place for you. It is Murder Most Murderous. “Aha” on page 1? This can’t be right. When Brother Hermitage starts the latest investigation by working out who did it, you know that things are bound to be going wrong by page 2; nothing in Hermitage’s life is that easy. And surely, William the Conqueror hasn’t dragged Hermitage, Wat the Weaver and Cwen across the country just to idle away the passing moments? There’s a dead Norman noble to be considered, and quickly because William hasn’t got all day. But what Hugues d’Auffay, owner of the body in question, was up to is a mystery in its own right. His father behaved strangely enough; he fought in the battle near Hastings, conquered the country and then went home again. Why would any self-respecting Norman conqueror do that? Hugues himself had plans but no one is talking. Perhaps the servants can be persuaded to spill the turnips? But they’ve got their own world to organise; entirely to their advantage, and so will need some persuasion. The Saxon servants are keeping a dark secret in a locked trunk, one that the Normans are very keen to get their hands on. Is there a bargain to be made? Is the curse on the d’Auffay family to be believed? Can Brother Hermitage really use questionable methods to get information? And why do people keep dying? All of life is here: tapestries that dare not show their faces; a curse from an old wise-ish woman; a physick who is surprised at the number of dead bodies one investigation can produce. Read the 23rd Chronicle of Brother Hermitage and you’ll wonder why the King’s Investigator still hasn’t got the hang of it. Chronicle No. 22 garnered comment aplenty: 5* Outright Laughter 5* Laughed till my sides ached. (The Funny Book Company cannot accept responsibility for injured sides.) 5* If you're into history, crime thrillers or humour this is the series for you. 5* What fun.

Download or read book A Murder of Convenience written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2021-06-24 with total page 247 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Medieval Crime Comedy continues unabated as Howard of Warwick refuses to be abated. From the Best-Selling author of this very peculiar genre comes yet more medieval murder with the usual dash of nonsense. This time, there’s murder in the air; and in the bushes, the castles, the highways and byways. And Brother Hermitage is caught in the middle of the lot; as usual. Even though he’s expecting a murder to be dropped in his lap at any moment, the arrival of this one and the manner of its delivery take him completely by surprise. As the tale unravels, a simple murder and an investigation to discover the culprit would be a bit of a relief. But the Normans seem to be at the bottom of this and their intentions are wholly dishonourable. When the church puts its nose in the mix, Wat the Weaver concludes that they are completely out of their depth. But there is a victim, or there might be, and action must be taken. A journey to Nottingham reunites them with some old friends, well, friends-ish, but they seem as confused as everyone else. At least Cwen finds an ally, which gives Wat plenty to worry about. When the weaver gets drunk and comes up with the most ridiculous suggestion for a murder investigation that any of them have ever heard, it’s clear that things have gone downhill very quickly. With very important people showing a great interest in this business, Hermitage has to be very careful with his, “aha”; if he can even come up with one that makes sense. Who did whatever it is that might have been done? Will everyone live happily ever after? Were they living happily to begin with? Read A Murder of Convenience and there’s a small chance you might find out. And then there’s the crime of Mrs Grod’s cooking. Reviews for previous volumes: 5* Brilliant tale of mayhem and murder 5* Genius, funny, endearing and a proper page turner 5* Howard of Warwick never fails to deliver a good laugh

Download or read book The Chester Chasuble written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2019-04-24 with total page 277 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: History, hilarity and some horrible goings on. Howard of Warwick, the No 1 Best Selling author who brought you The Bayeux Embroidery, has fabricated yet another outing for the world's most medieval detective. At the request of some rather peculiar monks, Brother Hermitage and his companions, Wat and Cwen the weavers, travel to Chester to try and work out who has suffocated a priest with his own chasuble. They've even been recommended for this job by some very important people, but of course it starts to go wrong even before they arrive. Chester appears to be full of some very strange people and some even stranger religious institutions, all of whom detest one another with fervour. There are Saxon Nobles who have run away from the Normans and townsfolk for whom corruption is what they do best. Brother Hermitage must find out if the man who got killed is all he seems to be. Then there's a number of reasons why he could have been killed. And the list of who could have done it is a bit too long, even for Hermitage, who likes a list. Why does Brother Merle seem so keen on dead people? Who is the mysterious monk in the tower? How many Saxons does it take to change a kingdom? Be warned, Howard of Warwick has history: "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick "5* Hilarious" "5* Laugh out loud" "5* Like Pratchett does 1066

Download or read book Murder Can Be Murder written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2023-03-24 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's only murder, why is it so difficult? When Brother Hermitage is approached on the streets of Derby, he knows that it is going to be bad news. As King William's duly appointed investigator, everything is bad news. But young Fridolf, an apprentice goldsmith from London has the most bizarre request concerning a murder that Hermitage has ever heard. Still, at least he has the opportunity to make things very clear and put the young man straight before sending him on his way. Until Wat and Cwen explain that Hermitage hasn't made anything clear at all and that if calamity is to be avoided, some action is needed. Luckily, for a weaver's workshop, Wat's home has a surfeit of investigators and so a despatch to London will not be a problem. And a trip to London, just to make sure everything is all right, will be a positive pleasure. Until those despatched get themselves in trouble, of course. Most unreasonably of all, those wretched Normans have decided that the old Saxon punishment for murder, a hefty fine, is no longer sufficient. They have something much more permanent in mind. Containing many facts, including the Saxon defeat of the Norman army in 1066, and a real-life sheriff of London, Murder Can Be Murder goes where other medieval mysteries wouldn’t bother. Howard of Warwick, now a UK top 20 Amazon best-seller, brings more real life to the medieval murder mystery. Along with real confusion, greed and all-around incompetence. Previous chronicles, of which there are many, have been commented upon. 5* Fantastic series 5* Hilarious 5* You know you’re in for a good giggle 1* Reads like an episode of Blackadder