Download or read book Here s Your Sign written by Bill Engvall and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2005-09-27 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stupid people are everywhere! "Last summer," says Bill Engvall, "I got a flat tire and pulled into a gas station lot. The attendant walked out, looked at the tire, and asked, 'Tire go flat?' I kept a straight face and replied, 'No, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden those other three just swelled right up on me.' Without batting an eyelash, he nodded his head and said, 'Yep. The heat'll do that.' What else could I say? I just reached intomy briefcase and handed him his very own Stupid sign." For the first time in print, here are more than 200 classic "Here's Your Sign" jokes?along with silly product warnings and some favorite family stories. Bill's hilarious look at the ridiculous things people say and do will keep you laughing. I was carrying out a bag of garbage the other day and my neighbor yelled across the fence, "Are you taking out the trash?" I said, "No, I'm going to feed our pet rats." Here's your sign! After fishing with a buddy, we pulled our boat into the dock and lifted out this big string of fish. A guy on the dock asked, "Y'all catch all them fish?" I said, "Nope. We talked them into giving up." Here's your sign!
Download or read book You Might Be a Redneck If written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 1997-10 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Designed to generate impulse sales, titles in this line are carefully balanced for gift giving, self-purchase, or collecting. Little Books may be small in size, but they're big in titles and sales.
Download or read book Here s to Us written by Elin Hilderbrand and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2016-06-14 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three romantic rivals in one crowded house equals plenty of room for jealousy in this surprising and heartwarming story from New York Times bestselling author Elin Hilderbrand. Laurel Thorpe, Belinda Rowe, and Scarlett Oliver share only two things; a love for the man they all married, Deacon Thorpe—a celebrity chef with an insatiable appetite for life—and a passionate dislike of one another. All three are remarkable, spirited women, but they couldn't be more different. Laurel: Deacon's high school sweetheart and an effortlessly beautiful social worker; Belinda: a high-maintenance Hollywood diva; and Scarlett: a sexy southern belle floating by on her family money and her fabulous looks. They've established a delicate understanding over the years—they avoid each other at all costs. But their fragile detente threatens to come crashing down after Deacon's tragic death on his favorite place on earth: a ramshackle Nantucket summer cottage. Deacon's final wish was for his makeshift family to assemble on his beloved Nantucket to say good-bye. Begrudgingly, Laurel, Belinda, and Scarlett gather on the island as once again, as in each of their marriages, they're left to pick up Deacon's mess. Now they're trapped in the crowded cottage where they all made their own memories—a house that they now share in more ways than one—along with the children they raised with Deacon, and his best friend. Laurel, Belinda, and Scarlett each had an unbreakable bond with Deacon—and they all have secrets to hide. Before the weekend is over, there are enough accusations, lies, tears, and drama to turn even the best of friends—let alone three women who married the same man—into adversaries. As his unlikely family says good-bye to the man who brought them together—for better or worse—will they be able to put aside their differences long enough to raise a glass in Deacon's honor?
Download or read book How to Avoid a Climate Disaster written by Bill Gates and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2021-02-16 with total page 201 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • In this urgent, authoritative book, Bill Gates sets out a wide-ranging, practical—and accessible—plan for how the world can get to zero greenhouse gas emissions in time to avoid a climate catastrophe. Bill Gates has spent a decade investigating the causes and effects of climate change. With the help of experts in the fields of physics, chemistry, biology, engineering, political science, and finance, he has focused on what must be done in order to stop the planet's slide to certain environmental disaster. In this book, he not only explains why we need to work toward net-zero emissions of greenhouse gases, but also details what we need to do to achieve this profoundly important goal. He gives us a clear-eyed description of the challenges we face. Drawing on his understanding of innovation and what it takes to get new ideas into the market, he describes the areas in which technology is already helping to reduce emissions, where and how the current technology can be made to function more effectively, where breakthrough technologies are needed, and who is working on these essential innovations. Finally, he lays out a concrete, practical plan for achieving the goal of zero emissions—suggesting not only policies that governments should adopt, but what we as individuals can do to keep our government, our employers, and ourselves accountable in this crucial enterprise. As Bill Gates makes clear, achieving zero emissions will not be simple or easy to do, but if we follow the plan he sets out here, it is a goal firmly within our reach.
Download or read book Why Nations Fail written by Daron Acemoglu and published by Crown Currency. This book was released on 2013-09-17 with total page 546 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER • From two winners of the 2024 Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences, “who have demonstrated the importance of societal institutions for a country’s prosperity” “A wildly ambitious work that hopscotches through history and around the world to answer the very big question of why some countries get rich and others don’t.”—The New York Times FINALIST: Financial Times and Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Award • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Washington Post, Financial Times, The Economist, BusinessWeek, Bloomberg, The Christian Science Monitor, The Plain Dealer Why are some nations rich and others poor, divided by wealth and poverty, health and sickness, food and famine? Is it culture, the weather, or geography that determines prosperity or poverty? As Why Nations Fail shows, none of these factors is either definitive or destiny. Drawing on fifteen years of original research, Daron Acemoglu and James Robinson conclusively show that it is our man-made political and economic institutions that underlie economic success (or the lack of it). Korea, to take just one example, is a remarkably homogenous nation, yet the people of North Korea are among the poorest on earth while their brothers and sisters in South Korea are among the richest. The differences between the Koreas is due to the politics that created those two different institutional trajectories. Acemoglu and Robinson marshal extraordinary historical evidence from the Roman Empire, the Mayan city-states, the Soviet Union, the United States, and Africa to build a new theory of political economy with great relevance for the big questions of today, among them: • Will China’s economy continue to grow at such a high speed and ultimately overwhelm the West? • Are America’s best days behind it? Are we creating a vicious cycle that enriches and empowers a small minority? “This book will change the way people think about the wealth and poverty of nations . . . as ambitious as Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel.”—BusinessWeek
Download or read book You Don t Have to Be Dumb to Be Stupid written by Bill Engvall and published by . This book was released on 1997 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Material from the best-selling album "Here's Your Sign."
Download or read book The Miracle Morning Updated and Expanded Edition written by Hal Elrod and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2024-01-09 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Start waking up to your full potential every single day with the updated and expanded edition of the groundbreaking book that has sold more than two million copies. “So much more than a book. It is a proven methodology that will help you fulfil your potential and create the life you’ve always wanted.” —Mel Robbins, New York Times bestselling author of The High 5 Habit and The 5 Second Rule Getting everything you want out of life isn’t about doing more. It’s about becoming more. Hal Elrod and The Miracle Morning have helped millions of people become the person they need to be to create the life they’ve always wanted. Now, it’s your turn. Hal’s revolutionary SAVERS method is a simple, effective step-by-step process to transform your life in as little as six minutes per day: - Silence: Reduce stress and improve mental clarity by beginning each day with peaceful, purposeful quiet - Affirmations: Reprogram your mind to overcome any fears or beliefs that are limiting your potential or causing you to suffer - Visualization: Experience the power of mentally rehearsing yourself showing up at your best each day - Exercise: Boost your mental and physical energy in as little as sixty seconds - Reading: Acquire knowledge and expand your abilities by learning from experts - Scribing: Keep a journal to deepen gratitude, gain insights, track progress, and increase your productivity by getting clear on your top priorities This updated and expanded edition has more than forty pages of new content, including: - The Miracle Evening: Optimize your bedtime and sleep to wake up every day feeling refreshed and energized for your Miracle Morning - The Miracle Life: Begin your path to inner freedom so you can truly be happy and learn to love the life you have while you create the life you want
Download or read book No Shirt No Shoes No Problem written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2009-06-15 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: America's favorite Southern-fried, stand-up comedian and TV sitcom star Jeff Foxworthy brings his humor to the page in this riotous laugh-out-loud book. In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You're in for a helluva good time!
Download or read book Here s the Deal written by Kellyanne Conway and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2024-10-29 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Part personal chronicle and part political journey…a candid assessment of some of her colleagues in the White House and the media.” —The Washington Post Among the Trump era’s savviest insiders, one name stands especially tall: Kellyanne. As a highly respected pollster for corporate and Republican clients and a frequent television talk show guest, Kellyanne Conway had already established herself as one of the brightest lights on the national political scene when Donald Trump asked her to run his presidential campaign. She agreed, delivering him to the White House, becoming the first woman in American history to manage a winning presidential campaign, and changing the American landscape forever. Who she is, how she did it, and who tried to stop her is a fascinating story of personal triumph and political intrigue that has never been told…until now. In Here’s The Deal, Kellyanne takes you on a journey all the way to the White House and beyond with her trademark sharp wit, raw honesty, and level eye. It’s all here: what it’s like to be dissected on national television. How to outsmart the media mob. How to outclass the crazy critics. How to survive and succeed male-dominated industries. What happens when the perils of social media really hit home. And what happens when the divisions across the country start playing out in one’s own family. In this open and vulnerable account, Kellyanne turns the camera on herself. What she has to share—about our politics, about the media, about her time in the White House, and about her personal journey—is an astonishing glimpse of visibility and vulnerability, of professional and personal highs and lows, and ultimately, of triumph.
Download or read book Games Rednecks Play written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Longstreet Press. This book was released on 1995 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Here s to Your Dreams written by Dave Hollis and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2022-11-08 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this adventure picture book that reinforces a child's self-esteem, father of four and New York Times bestselling author Dave Hollis draws on the themes of his popular video series "Teatime with Noah" to help kids believe in themselves, have courage, and chase after their dreams. The story begins with one of Daddy and Noah's beloved father-daughter tea parties, as Daddy encourages young Noah to follow her dreams. Young readers will delight to see the tea party transform into a fantastical adventure as Noah discovers that she wants to be a ship captain. But soon everything goes wrong. Noah doesn't know how to be a captain, and she doesn't even have a ship! When she starts to build her own, things go from bad to worse. Through each hardship, Daddy guides Noah, empowering her to ride the waves of life with courage. With vivid illustrations from Arief Putra and whimsical rhymes, Here's to Your Dreams! Is for ages 4 to 8 Encourages children to explore their own interests, pursue their dreams, and overcome obstacles Is a conversation-starter for topics such as self-esteem, bravery, and personal growth Is perfect for creating special daddy-daughter moments Is a great gift for birthdays, baby showers, adoption parties, gender reveal parties, and Father's Day With a fun and entertaining style, Dave Hollis tells a rollicking adventure story that encourages boys and girls to believe in themselves, not be afraid to make mistakes, and use their gifts--because nothing is out of their reach.
Download or read book The Last Lecture written by Randy Pausch and published by . This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.
Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
Download or read book So Here s the Thing written by Alyssa Mastromonaco and published by Twelve. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 184 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times bestselling author of Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? comes a fun, frank book of reflections, essays, and interviews on topics important to young women, ranging from politics and career to motherhood, sisterhood, and making and sustaining relationships of all kinds in the age of social media. Alyssa Mastromonaco is back with a bold, no-nonsense, and no-holds-barred twenty-first-century girl's guide to life, tackling the highs and lows of bodies, politics, relationships, moms, education, life on the internet, and pop culture. Whether discussing Barbra Streisand or The Bachelor, working in the West Wing or working on finding a wing woman, Alyssa leaves no stone unturned...and no awkward situation unexamined. Like her bestseller Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?, SO HERE'S THE THING... brings a sharp eye and outsize sense of humor to the myriad issues facing women the world over, both in and out of the workplace. Along with Alyssa's personal experiences and hard-won life lessons, interviews with women like Monica Lewinsky, Susan Rice, and Chelsea Handler round out this modern woman's guide to, well, just about everything you can think of.
Download or read book Jeff Foxworthy s Redneck Dictionary written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Fawcett. This book was released on 2009-06-24 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!
Download or read book Oh Crap Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Download or read book Presentation Zen written by Garr Reynolds and published by Pearson Education. This book was released on 2009-04-15 with total page 316 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: FOREWORD BY GUY KAWASAKI Presentation designer and internationally acclaimed communications expert Garr Reynolds, creator of the most popular Web site on presentation design and delivery on the Net — presentationzen.com — shares his experience in a provocative mix of illumination, inspiration, education, and guidance that will change the way you think about making presentations with PowerPoint or Keynote. Presentation Zen challenges the conventional wisdom of making "slide presentations" in today’s world and encourages you to think differently and more creatively about the preparation, design, and delivery of your presentations. Garr shares lessons and perspectives that draw upon practical advice from the fields of communication and business. Combining solid principles of design with the tenets of Zen simplicity, this book will help you along the path to simpler, more effective presentations.
