Download or read book Hammerhead Ranch Motel written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 446 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There's a different schemer or slimeball behind every door: cocaine duckpins who have survived only by the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desperate to score, undercover cops busting undercover cops who are running sting operations on undercover cops. And just down the row, local historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped keeping up with his meds -- is still looking for a briefcase stuffed with five million dollars...and is now capable of wreaking more havoc than hurricane Rolando-berto, the big wind gathering force offshore, just waiting for the opportunity to blow everything straight to hell. Pack up your bags and head south to sunny Florida. Leave your rational mind at home and come well armed. There's a room with your number on it at the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.

Download or read book Florida Roadkill written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 334 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s. In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!

Download or read book Pineapple Grenade written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2012-01-24 with total page 411 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal “I guarantee Dorsey will never win the Nobel Prize for Literature—he’s far too funny.” —Richmond Times-Dispatch “If you’ve never read Dorsey, you need to start…You won’t be disappointed.” —Miami Herald Gloriously unrepentant Florida serial killer Serge Storms is back—and he’s finagled his way into becoming a secret agent in Miami—in another outrageous crime comedy from New York Times bestselling author, Tim Dorsey. In Pineapple Grenade, the incomparable Serge takes up spying for the president of a banana republic, and now Homeland Security wants to bring him down. It’s always a wild ride when Dorsey’s at the wheel, and with Pineapple Grenade he delivers his most explosively hilarious road trip to date.

Download or read book Tiger Shrimp Tango written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-01-28 with total page 361 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Determined to save a damsel in distress, the Sunshine State’s favorite serial killer and encyclopedia of Florida lore Serge Storms dances a tango of death and mayhem in this funny and dementedly entertaining crime caper from Tim Dorsey, author of the New York Times bestseller The Riptide, Ultra-Glide. Thanks to the Internet, America has become a playground for ruthless scam artists out to make an easy buck. And where do these models of entrepreneurship hail from? Why, the Sunshine State of course! No one loves Florida more, or can keep it safe from invasive criminal species better than self-appointed Sunshine Sheriff Serge Storms. When a particular scam leads to the death of a few innocents and a young woman's disappearance, Serge and his perpetually self-bent sidekick Coleman—aided by his new pal, latter-day noir private eye Mahoney—load up the car for a riotous road trip to do right. Packed with seafood, mayhem, blood, Coleman’s deep thoughts, Floridian lore, and more, Tiger Shrimp Tango is a hilarious treat from the incomparable Tim Dorsey.

Download or read book Hurricane Punch written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance—just as his cherished home state is about to take a beating from a conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. But as Serge and his burnout buddy Coleman go storm-chasing, bodies begin turning up at a disturbing rate, even by Florida standards. It looks like a serial killer is on the loose—another serial killer—which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities. And he vows he'll stop at nothing to unmask his thrill-killing rival and make All Things Right—though Coleman's triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging threatens to derail the mission more completely than the entire combined Sunshine State police community could ever hope to.

Download or read book Mermaid Confidential written by Tim Dorsey and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2022-01-25 with total page 332 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Serge A. Storms gives condo living a try in this off-the-wall, acid-splashed Florida crime caper from the “insanely funny” (New York Times Book Review) Tim Dorsey. “Delightfully madcap… This fiendishly funny adventure is irresistible.” — Publishers Weekly Serge A. Storms and his permanently baked sidekick, Coleman, have decided to pump the brakes and live on island time. After years of manic road tripping across their beloved Sunshine State, the irrepressible anti-heroes drop anchor in the Florida Keys. They settle down in Pelican Bay, a thriving condo complex with scenic views and friendly neighbors. But the community is at war with investors who are buying up units and leasing them to young vacationers who party at all hours. With their little slice of heaven on the line, Serge takes it upon himself to convince the tourists to move on and quickly becomes a local favorite. Meanwhile, the island chain’s long and rich smuggling heritage is causing mayhem—a gang war erupts when a local drug lord passes the family business to his young, enterprising son, and the sun-loving residents are suddenly dodging bullets. Luckily, Florida’s most lovable serial killer is there to help!

Download or read book When Elves Attack written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.

Download or read book Nuclear Jellyfish LP written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-02-17 with total page 500 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As professional thieves begin targeting trade show exhibitors who may not be what they seem, Serge Storms launches an Internet travel site to lure unsuspecting tourists to Florida, only to catch the attention of his nemesis, Agent Mahoney.

Download or read book Tropic of Stupid written by Tim Dorsey and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-01-26 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Serge A. Storms embarks on a tour to meet his long-lost relatives in this latest madcap entry in the bestselling series from Florida’s “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey. Devoted Floridaphile Serge Storms is a lover of history, so he’s decided to investigate his own using one of those DNA services from late-night TV. Excited to construct a family tree, he and Coleman hit the road to meet his kin. Along the way, he plans to introduce Coleman to the Sunshine State’s beautiful parks where he can brush up on his flora, fauna, and wildlife, and more importantly, collect the missing stamps for his park passport book. But as the old saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far . . . Serge is thrilled to discover he may be related to a notorious serial killer who’s terrorized the state for twenty years and never been caught. Which one of his newfound relatives will be the one to help him hunt down this deranged maniac? Serge doesn’t know that a dogged investigator from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement is also hot on the trail. Then Serge meets a park ranger who’s also longing to make a family re-connection. But all is not as it appears on the surface, and Serge’s newfound friendship in the mysterious swamps of Florida may lead to deadly results. Finding his own relatives has made Serge understand the importance of family. Of course he’ll do anything to help . . .

Download or read book Gator A Go Go written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-01-25 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: That's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break! One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge A. Storms, so he must hit them all, traveling through various historic locales, spewing nuggets of history at anyone who won't run away, and dispensing his own signature brand of Sunshine State justice. Along the trail, he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in its wake. Then there are the coke smugglers gone legit and a pair of the most dangerously sexy bartenders ever to mix a rum runner. After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic monsters. So pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget—no matter how much you might try!

Download or read book Anna Like Thunder written by Peggy Herring and published by TouchWood Editions. This book was released on 2018-04-24 with total page 277 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In 1808, the Russian Ship St. Nikolai ran aground off the Olympic Peninsula; this novel is based on this astounding historical event and the lives of the people affected. In 1808, eighteen-year-old Anna Petrovna Bulygina is aboard the Russian ship St. Nikolai when it runs aground off on the west coast of Washington State on the Olympic Peninsula. The crew, tasked with trading for sea otter pelts and exploring the coast, are forced to shore into Indigenous territory, where they are captured, enslaved, and then traded among three different Indigenous communities. Terrified at first, Anna soon discovers that nothing—including slavery—is what she expected. She begins to question Russian imperialist aspirations, the conduct of the crew, and her own beliefs and values as she experiences a way of life she never could have imagined. Based on historical record, Anna, Like Thunder blends fact and fiction to explore the early days of contact between Indigenous people and Europeans off the west coast of North America and offers a fresh interpretation of history. "An intimate engagement with a little known ghost of North American history and memory." --Jaspreet Singh, author of Helium and November“/p>

Download or read book Totch written by Loren G. Brown and published by . This book was released on 2018-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Totch Brown's memoirs of vanished days in the Ten Thousand Islands and the Everglades--the last real frontier in Florida, and even today the greatest roadless wilderness in the United States--are invaluable as well as vivid and entertaining, for Totch is a natural-born story-teller, and his accounts of fishing and gator hunting as well as his life beyond the law as gator poacher and drug runner are evocative and colorful, fresh and exciting."--from the foreword by Peter Matthiessen In the mysterious wilderness of swamps, marshes, and rivers that conceals life in the Florida Everglades, Totch Brown hung up his career as alligator hunter and commercial fisherman to become a self-confessed pot smuggler. Before the marijuana money rolled in, he survived excruciating poverty in one of the most primitive and beautiful spots on earth, Chokoloskee Island, in the mangrove keys known as the Ten Thousand Islands located at the western gateway to the Everglades National Park. Until he wrote this memoir--recollections from his childhood in the twenties that merge with reflections on a way of life dying at the hands of progress in the nineties--Totch had never read a book in his life. Still, his writing conveys the tension he experienced from trying to live off the land and within the laws of the land. Told with energy and authenticity, his story begins with the handful of souls who came to the area a hundred years ago to homestead on the high ground formed from oyster mounds built and left by the Calusa Indians. They lived close to nature in shacks built of tin or palmetto fans; they ate wild meat, Chokoloskee chicken (white ibis), swamp cabbage, even--when they were desperate--manatee; and they weathered all manner of natural disaster from hurricanes to swarms of "swamp angels" (mosquitoes). In his grandpa's day, Totch writes, outlaws and cutthroats would "shoot a man down just as quick as they'd knock down an egret, especially if he came between them and the plume birds." His grandparents were both contemporaries of Ed J. Watson, the subject of Peter Matthiessen's best-selling Killing Mr. Watson, and Totch is featured in the recent award-winning PBS film Lost Man's River: An Everglades Adventure with Peter Matthiessen. He also appeared in Wind Across the Everglades, the 1957 Budd Schulberg movie in which Totch and Burl Ives sing some of Totch's Florida cracker songs. Loren G. "Totch" Brown was born in Chokoloskee, Florida, in 1920. After purchasing his first motorboat at the age of thirteen (and retiring from formal schooling after the seventh grade) he worked as an alligator hunter, commercial fisherman, crabber, professional guide, poacher, marijuana runner, singer, and songwriter.

Download or read book Clownfish Blues written by Tim Dorsey and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-01-24 with total page 325 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A (Serge A.) Storm is brewing for a cabal of bad guys gaming the Florida state lottery in this insanely funny novel from the maestro of mayhem, Tim Dorsey. If you’re loud and proud Floridian Serge A. Storms, how do you follow up your very own remake of Easy Rider? You shoot your own "episodes" of your favorite classic television show, Route 66! With Coleman riding shotgun, Serge is rolling down the highway of his dreams in a vintage silver convertible Corvette just like the snazzy car Martin Milner drove. It doesn’t matter that the actual Route 66 didn’t pass through Florida, for Serge discovers that a dozen episodes near the series’ end were filmed (really!) in his beloved home state. So for Serge and the always toked and stoked Coleman, the Sunshine State is all the road you need to get your kicks. But their adventure traveling the byways of the Sunshine State’s underbelly is about to take a detour. Someone is trying to tilt the odds in the state lottery amidst a conga line of huge jackpots spinning off more chaos than any hurricane season. With this much at stake, of course every shady character wants in. Crooked bodega owners, drug cartels laundering money through the lottery, and venture capitalists are all trying to game the system—and lining up to get their cut. They’re also gambling with their lives, because when Serge and Coleman get hip to this timely (and very lucrative) trip, there’s no telling whose number is up next. Throw in Brooke Campanella, Serge’s old flame, as well as the perpetually star-crossed Reevis, and it’s a sure bet that the ever lucky Serge will hit it big. Winning has never been this deadly—or this much fun!

Download or read book Cadillac Beach written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2004-12-28 with total page 402 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: And busting out of Chattahoochee State Hospital ... without his meds! The thrill-killing Floridaphile needs to get to the bottom of his bookie grandad's bizarre 1964 death -- not to mention launch "Serge & Lenny's Florida Experience," the new Miami specialty tour venture he's cooked up with his best brain-dead druggie-buddy. It's all good. For Serge A. Storms, anyway. Not so much for anyone else.

Download or read book Naked Came the Florida Man written by Tim Dorsey and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2020-01-07 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Can it still be hurricane season? Must be, because here come Serge A. Storms and his perpetually stoned bro, Coleman, in Tim Dorsey’s gonzo crime caper.” –The New York Times Book Review The “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey returns with an insanely entertaining tale in which the inimitable Serge A. Storms sees dead people and investigates a creepy urban myth that may be all too real. Though another devastating hurricane is raking Florida, its awesome power can’t deter the Sunshine State’s most loyal son, Serge A. Storms, from his latest scenic road trip: a cemetery tour. With his best bro Coleman riding shotgun, Serge hits the highway in his gold ’69 Plymouth Satellite, putting pedal to the metal on a grand tour of the past. Beginning in Key West, the sunshine boys’ odyssey includes a forgotten mass grave in Palm Beach County holding the remains of African Americans killed by the Great Hurricane of 1928, and the resting place of one world-famous television dolphin (RIP Flipper) from the 1960s. But one deadland—a haunted old sugar field—holds more than just the bones of those who’ve passed. For years, local children have whispered about a boogeyman hiding among the stalks. Could it be the same maniac known as Naked Florida Man, who’s been raising hell all over the place? There are few things Serge loves more than solving a good mystery and bestowing justice on miscreants who sully his beloved home’s good name. With his partner Bong Man, Florida’s psycho superhero will find the truth in this hilariously violent delight—packed with history, lore, and plenty of motel antics—from the insanely ingenious Tim Dorsey.

Download or read book The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes written by David Handler and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-08-15 with total page 268 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: HARLAN COBEN calls it "One of my all-time favorite series! ...David Handler is so good at writing one smart, funny page-turner after another that he makes it look easy." Fans of JANET EVANOVICH and CARL HIAASEN, get ready. If you haven't yet discovered wisecracking sleuth Stewart "Hoagy" Hoag and his faithful basset hound Lulu, you're in for a sharp, hilarious treat. Once upon a time, Hoagy had it all: a hugely successful debut novel, a gorgeous celebrity wife, the glamorous world of New York City at his feet. These days, he scrapes by as a celebrity ghostwriter. A celebrity ghostwriter who finds himself investigating murders more often than he'd like. And once upon a time, Richard Aintree was the most famous writer in America -- high school students across the country read his one and only novel, a modern classic on par with The Catcher in the Rye. But after his wife's death, Richard went into mourning... and then into hiding. No one has heard from him in twenty years. Until now. Richard Aintree — or someone pretending to be Richard Aintree — has at last reached out to his two estranged daughters. Monette is a lifestyle queen à la Martha Stewart whose empire is crumbling; and once upon a time, Reggie was the love of Hoagy's life. Both sisters have received mysterious typewritten letters from their father. Hoagy is already on the case, having been hired to ghostwrite a tell-all book about the troubled Aintree family. But no sooner does he set up shop in the pool house of Monette's Los Angeles mansion than murder strikes. With Lulu at his side — or more often cowering in his shadow — it's up to Hoagy to unravel the mystery, catch the killer, and pour himself that perfect single-malt Scotch... before it's too late.

Download or read book No Sunscreen for the Dead written by Tim Dorsey and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2019-01-15 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A USA Today Bestseller! The Sunshine State’s most lovable psychopath, Serge A. Storms, kills it in this zany adventure from the “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) king of mayhem, New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. Serge and Coleman are back on the road, ready to hit the next stop on their list of obscure and wacky points of interest in the Sunshine State. This time, Serge’s interest is drawn to one of the largest retirement villages in the world—also known as the site of an infamous sex scandal between a retiree and her younger beau that rocked the community. What starts out as an innocent quest to observe elders in their natural habitats, sample the local cuisine, and scope out a condo to live out the rest of their golden years, soon becomes a Robin Hood-like crusade to recover the funds of swindled residents. After all, our seniors should be revered and respected—they’ve heroically fought in wars, garnered priceless wisdom, and they have the best first-hand accounts of bizarre Floridian occurrences only Serge would know about. But as the resident’s rally for Serge to seek justice on their behalves, two detectives are hot on the heels of Serge and Coleman’s murderous trail. In this epic adventure that jumps between present day and the tumultuous times of the Vietnam war, mystery fans are in for a witty and deliciously violent delight from the twisted imagination of bestselling author Tim Dorsey.