Download or read book Grumpy Old Git Jokes written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2014-11-24 with total page 133 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Railing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you. Straight from the mouths of the grumpiest gits our proud nation has to offer, this bumper collection contains hundreds of jokes on favourite grumpy subjects such as politics, religion, education and technology. It muses on the grump's least favourite people (including judges, bankers and lawyers – 'What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn'), and the perennial subjects of ageing ('Old age is always fifteen years older than what I am') and health ('All you've got is hypochondria.' 'Can you give me anything for it?'). This deliciously cynical, delightfully dour, mirthfully miserable book will help anyone indulge their inner grumpy old git.
Download or read book Grumpy Old Git Jokes written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2014-06-05 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Railing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you. Straight from the mouths of the grumpiest gits our proud nation has to offer, this bumper collection contains hundreds of jokes on favourite grumpy subjects such as politics, religion, education and technology. It muses on the grump's least favourite people (including judges, bankers and lawyers – 'What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn'), and the perennial subjects of ageing ('Old age is always fifteen years older than what I am') and health ('All you've got is hypochondria.' 'Can you give me anything for it?'). This deliciously cynical, delightfully dour, mirthfully miserable book will help anyone indulge their inner grumpy old git. Word count: 20,000
Download or read book The Grumpy Old Git s Guide to Life written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2013-06-06 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Bob Geldof to Winston Churchill, Jeremy Clarkson to Victor Meldrew, the world has always produced its share of grumpy, moody, pessimistic and world-weary types. We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.
Download or read book The Strangest Cricket Quiz Book written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2020-05-01 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: All the fun of Portico's bestselling Strangest series, now in quiz form! Test your cricket knowledge with this handy book, packed with fun and challenging quiz questions based around the weirdest events from more than a century of cricketing history. Quiz categories include: Freak weather conditions Bad ball behaviour Streakers Time for tea The Ashes Cricket's great eccentrics Village green shenanigans Cricket quotations Whether you're testing your friends, practising for pub quizzes or just reading it in an armchair, this book will take your cricket knowledge to a whole new level.
Download or read book Diary of a Grumpy Old Git written by Tim Collins and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2012-10-04 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If Adrian Mole had grown up to be a grumpy old git who had to cope with failed marriage and a life-sucking job, and worse, whose colleagues actually thought he was a miserable old git, he might be a bit like Dave Cross.Diary of a Grumpy Old Git is the laugh-out-loud diary of Dave Cross, a man who thought he was reasonably cheerful until someone from his office bought him a 'Grumpy Old Man' diary for Christmas. Determined to prove them wrong, he resolves to be positive for an entire year. But it's not easy when your wife has run off with an estate agent called Brad and you've got a young, ambitious new boss who is determined to make you actually do some work. Add to this the everyday horrors of public transport, shopping, technology, popular culture and dating, and a sunny outlook is too much to ask. But with his fiftieth birthday fast approaching, Dave is determined to make his life less shambolic. Fantastically witty and painfully accurate, Diary of a Grumpy Old Git will appeal to anyone, grumpy old git or otherwise...
Download or read book Are You a Grumpy Old Git Quiz Book written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Michael O'Mara. This book was released on 2018-05-31 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To discover whether you (or your loved ones) possess the grumpy gene, this quiz book has been devised to gauge your reaction to hundreds of different situations. Points are awarded for each answer and your total score indicates where you rate on the grumpy scale.
Download or read book Grumpy Old Git written by James Hulme and published by . This book was released on 2020-06-23 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you feel lost, isolated and alone? Does modern life leave you feeling left behind in a state of confusion and bewilderment? If you or someone you know is struggling with the trials and tribulations of modern manhood then Grumpy Old Git is the book for you. Clearly you are a competent and intelligent person. You can iron the carpet and hoover the clothes as well as the next man but if you miss the good old days and find yourself yearning for things to be as they once were, join the brotherhood of the bewildered and fight back. Fight back against the tidal wave of complicated and unnecessary technology. Shun the shackles of tedious health and safety. Stomp on the plight of the flat pack lifestyle and beat into submission the conventional demand to simply sit in a chair and slowly turn beige. If your daily life is ruined by militant cyclists, pushy salesmen, pointless bureaucratic nonsense and the poor attitudes and ineptness of others take solace in the fact that you are not suffering alone. With a strong cup of tea in a chipped mug and a stiff upper lip we can repel these awful social conventions and once again stand tall among men.Note however that this book should be kept secret and hidden from the guard at all costs. If she finds it you'll end up in the cooler and will likely lose television privileges for a fortnight. You have been warned.
Download or read book Are You a Miserable Old Git written by Andrew John and published by Michael O'Mara. This book was released on 2006-04-06 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are You a a Miserable Old Git? embraces the dash of gloom, twist of pessimism and sprinkling of irritability that eases life's passage. This book salutes the moaner with a treasury of anecdotes and quotations, arming a would-be miserable old git with all they need to achieve true grumpy greatness.
Download or read book The Toffs in the Towerblock written by Ron Windward and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2013-03-11 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Set in Bridgeton, Glasgow in 1968. The Toffs in the Towerblock continues the story of the posh Nairn family who originally hail from the affluent West End of Glasgow. After losing all their money, they now live in a room and kitchen tenement flat in Heron St Bridgeton. The story begins a few months before the Nairn's move to their new high rise flat in Ruby Street. There are laughs galore as they attend their first tenement house party. Also, follow young Rupert as he takes part in a grudge game of 'Rounders', visits Sir William Arrol steelworks in Nuneaton St and has a hilarious visit to a Glasgow barbers shop. The sights and sounds of life in the tenements of 1968 Glasgow are affectionately remembered as the posh Nairn's continue the struggle to adapt to their new lives. There are laughs, tears and tantrums once again as all the regulars return in this funny and heart-warming tale of tenement life.
Download or read book Jewels Old Gits Crazy Jokes written by Exley and published by . This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Unforgettable Senior Jokes written by Geoff Tibballs and published by . This book was released on 2011 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Old age catches up with us all, and when the inevitable senior moments begin to set in, there is nothing to be done but have a good old laugh about them. Unforgettable Senior Jokes is a fantastic collection of the very best 'senior' jokes, put down on paper so that even the most senile minds can't forget them. Filled with hundreds of unforgettable punch lines and witticisms about growing old, across such hilarious and humiliating subjects as hair loss, wrinkles, and many more of the obstacles old age throws at us all, this book is perfect for anyone beginning to feel their age. Charmingly entertaining, it celebrates the funny side of growing older, allowing readers to laugh off their forgetfulness, fading physique and new penchant for the afternoon nap, and have them smiling at seniordom and all it entails.
Download or read book Conversations from a Long Marriage written by Jan Etherington and published by Souvenir Press. This book was released on 2022-11-03 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'A sheer joy' Joanna Lumley 'This book gives me hope ... that life and marriage might permanently include taking the absolute piss while simultaneously dancing in the kitchen' Emma Freud 'An endearing portrait of exasperation, laced with hard won tolerance - and love' Guardian Joanna and Roger have been married for over forty years. Children of the Sixties, they're still free spirits, drawn together by their passion for music - and each other. Conversations from a Long Marriage is exactly that: following conversations that take them from the local café, to their kitchen table. She suggests there are advantages to single beds and wants to go clubbing in Ibiza for her imminent 'big' birthday, he has a dodgy knee and is on statins, and when they discuss the marriage break-up of their closest friends, there's jealousy and talk of affairs. Witty, big-hearted and a whole lot of fun, Conversations from a Long Marriage will resonate with couples of any age - but especially those who are still dancing in the kitchen, singing in the car and trying to keep the passion alive.
Download or read book Grumpy Old Men written by David Quantick Staff and published by HarperCollins Entertainment. This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Pictures of Lily written by Paige Toon and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-07-08 with total page 399 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'I think of you every day. But usually in the quietest part of the morning, or the darkest part of the night. Not when my boyfriend of two years has just proposed. THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR Escape to the summer and feel the warmth of Paige Toon's storytelling Ten years ago when Lily was just sixteen, she fell in love with someone she really shouldn't have fallen in love with. Now, living in Sydney and engaged to another man, she can't forget the one that got away. Then her past comes back to haunt her, and she has to make a decision that will break her heart - and the heart of at least one of the men who love her. THE ONE WE FELL IN LOVE WITH was selected for the Zoella Book Club and Paige Toon's novels have been published across the world. Praise for Paige Toon's novels: 'You'll love it, cry buckets and be uplifted' MARIAN KEYES 'I blubbed, I laughed and I fell in love... utterly heart-wrenching' GIOVANNA FLETCHER 'Devoured this in one sitting' COSMOPOLITAN 'An absorbing and emotional read' HEAT
Download or read book The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2013-08-08 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together
Download or read book Dad Isms written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2023-05-25 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious (or groan-worthy) look at the rite of passage that all dads go through. Do you think your jokes are hilarious, without fail? Ever thought something was sidesplittingly funny only to have the rest of your family look at you with pity and disdain? It probably means that you've succumbed to the dorky, ill-advised things all Dads say and do - the things you swore you'd never do! - you've fallen for Dad-isms. In this hilarious book you'll find embarrassing anecdotes and true stories, cringeworthy jokes, sayings, quotes and all manner of quirky nonsense that dads come up with to keep you (but mostly him) amused. From excruciating things dads say at weddings to the cheesy phrases that make you sigh but him guffaw, from dad dancing to the crazy things they save up for the most inappropriate moments... these dad-isms are so bad they're almost good.
