Download or read book Gnomes in the Barn written by Gene Olsen and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2013-05-23 with total page 54 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INTRODUCTIONS TO GNOMES (if you need one) How big are Gnomes? Not very. A Gnome can ride on the back of a duck. Three Gnomes can ride on a goose. They claim that twenty can ride on a horse. But how would they get up on a horse? I don't know. If you place your thumb on the table and stretch out your little finger as high as it will go, that is about as tall as a Gnome at your age. What do Gnomes look like? Gnomes look like people do. But they have slightly larger noses and cheeks. If they were as big as we are, which they think is much too big, they would look a lot like Santa Claus without the beard. Each gnome family has its favorite color and all the clothing that family wears is in that color with white trim. What do they eat? First, they eat six meals a day. Gnomes love pancakes. They make them in many shapes and varieties. They are also very fond of rice pudding. In the last one hundred years, they have developed a taste for chocolate, especially in or on pancakes. As a rule, if a food is sweet, it is OK. Do Gnome children go to school? Only one day a year. This is one of the reasons that they think that we are not very bright. In one day, Gnome children learn the proper method of eating pancakes and how to take naps. They do not understand why it takes our children years to learn the same things. What do Gnomes think of us? They think that we are big and clumsy, which is partly true. They think that we are loud, which we are. They think that our real purpose in life is to build barns for them to sleep in and to produce and food for them to eat, which is exactly what we do.

Download or read book Nonna the Gnome written by M. K. Denham and published by Monica Denham. This book was released on 2009-01-31 with total page 119 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Life on a farm is tough for the farmers, but even worse for the gnomes who live hidden; working to improve the lives of the animals, and humans, on the farm while trying to remain undiscovered. When Nonna, a 10 year old gnome girl, accidentally shows herself to the farmer, extreme measures have to be taken to sort the problem out. Which is not made any easier when Nonna decides to run away to spare her family the shame.

Download or read book Gnome and Garden written by Marcus Mennes and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2004 with total page 72 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Waking Magic written by K.C. Lannon and published by K.C. Lannon. This book was released on with total page 302 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everyone is drawn to magic for a reason. As Deirdre, James, Iain, and Alvey travel to the Wayfaring Festival, seeking answers for the brothers and magical materials for Alvey, forces Fae and human close in. Deirdre's fight to control her magic evolves as she begins to connect with it on a deeper level. Yet she risks losing everything to General Callaghan, the leader of the Iron Guard, who hunts her to harness her power into a weapon. Meanwhile, James begins his own quest for magic, drawing him closer to the Master, a sinister being who holds the fates of James and his mother.Joining the group is Cai, a wandering swordsman connected to the mysterious amulet Iain found hidden in an Unseelie dwarf's treasure horde. As Iain is faced with the ever-increasing danger of their journey, he believes the skilled, if uncooperative, man could secure both their safety and an end to the war before it begins. But facing imminent dangers both within and around the group, each of them is forced to make decisions that will alter their journey and even the fate of the country. This is the third installment in the seven-book Winter's Blight series.

Download or read book Be Serious written by Stephanie Hayes and published by Creators Publishing. This book was released on 2023-10-01 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Side part or middle part? Is Kohl’s Cash the mark of the beast? What book should be banned next? Can Mickey Mouse be stopped? Stephanie Hayes runs toward the messiest debates in our culture. This collection of short essays from the acclaimed Tampa Bay Times and Creators Syndicate columnist will take you on a journey through moments absurd, solemn and somewhere in between. Wielding a mix of droll humor and thought-provoking observation, Hayes side-eyes American life and zeroes in on her home state of Florida, where realities are often too farcical to believe. Hayes speaks across generations, making even the heaviest topics feel digestible in a world where daily news goes down like a spoonful of knives.

Download or read book When A Gnome Follows You Home written by Carleen Irwin and published by Gatekeeper Press. This book was released on 2023-10-26 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bimble is not a regular gnome, like the kind in fairytales or nursery rhymes. You won’t find him at a gardening store. And lastly, he’s not a Christmas decoration! Bimble is a quirky gnome with a heart of gold, strong sense of humor, and a passion for adventure, always living life to its fullest. When he’s excited, he might break out into a fit of singing and dancing. He’s always making a fashion statement with his crazy collection of gnome hats. He tries to use his gnome magic for good, but sometimes causes a little trouble. Of course, his favorite place to be is in a garden, but Bimble is looking for a new place to live. Find out what kind of craziness can happen when a gnome follows you home.

Download or read book Gnome Alone written by Kirsten Weiss and published by misterio press. This book was released on 2021-10-31 with total page 424 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christmas is coming… and so is murder… It’s holiday season in small-town Doyle, and the town is pivoting from UFO tourism to Bigfoot Days. What’s the owner of a UFO-themed B&B to do? Stop the shift, of course. And control-freak Susan Witsend is just the woman to put the alien back in… Christmas? But when Bigfoot is blamed for a mass garden gnome theft, Susan is drafted to track down the kidnapped gnomes. The holiday season hits another sour note with the murder of a member of her caroling group. Are Susan’s organization skills up to juggling missing gnomes and tracking down a killer in time to ring in the festivities? Because as Susan and friends unwrap motives and alibis, she finds herself adding more names to the naughty list. She may have to face some hard truths about her own limits and about just how far a not-so-jolly killer will go… Gnome Alone is book five in the laugh-out-loud Wits’ End mystery series. A fast-paced and funny mystery packed with quirky characters, pets, and murder, it’s perfect for fans of Jana DeLeon, Janet Evanovich, and Donna Andrews. Get cozy and beam up this hilarious mystery today! Susan’s Bigfoot Investigation Protocol at the back of the book!

Download or read book A World Apart written by Richard Pearce and published by Balboa Press. This book was released on 2012-10 with total page 105 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is for the lighthearted bedtime reader of any age. The poems are some of several hundred written over many years. Some of the short stories are recent, others were written as long ago as the 1980s. Only in recent times did Richard and Roy discover they both liked to put their thoughts onto paper, so it seemed a logical step to combine some of their work and get it into print. This is Richard’s second publication along similar lines.

Download or read book Garden gnomes urban tales written by Christian Courvoisier and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book No Country for Old Gnomes written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2019-04-16 with total page 435 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett. “A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down—or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts—from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses—all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that there’s nothing more heroic than being yourself. In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here you’ll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but you’ll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.

Download or read book USA 101 written by Gary McKechnie and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2009-05-19 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Countless travel books display some aspect or region of America, but USA 101 stitches together a whole crazy quilt of iconic places, events, fairs, and festivals that celebrates our country in all its quirky diversity. Whoever you are, wherever you’re going, whatever you like to do, it’s here somewhere. And if you just stay home and travel armchair-style you’ll still find this guide a vivid, often humorous, always fascinating blend of world-famous and distinctly local places and events that add up to a national portrait. Here are fivescore and one indelibly American destinations, from the Statue of Liberty to the Golden Gate Bridge, from Graceland to Disneyland; perennial sporting rituals like the Army-Navy football game, the Indy 500, the Soap Box Derby, and the Little League World Series; plus dozens more favorite institutions old and new, from Native American powwows to the Miss America Pageant and monster truck rallies. USA 101 features entertaining descriptive narratives—concise, lively sketches that capture each selection’s history and special appeal—as well as detailed practical advice and essential information for visiting. Well seasoned by eclectic, irresistible sidebars, this guide is a panorama of treasured traditions, favorite pastimes, and beloved national possessions that will surprise, amuse, and inform even the most sophisticated traveler.

Download or read book Gnome Legends written by Steven Moore and published by Steven Moore. This book was released on 2009-10-16 with total page 169 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The king and queen of Felsen are killed during a coup and Prince Logan escapes with the help of Tearjon, the court historian. Now they must stay ahead of the soldiers and mercenaries who track them. It is a magical and exciting world the young prince (now king) must survive as he and those who have sworn to protect him begin their quest to take back the lost crown.

Download or read book Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes written by Michelle M. Pillow and published by The Raven Books LLC. This book was released on 2018-06-26 with total page 230 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to Lucky Valley, Colorado, where nothing is quite what it seems. Lily Goode wasn’t aware she had an inheritance waiting for her in the form of a huge Victorian house in Lucky Valley, Colorado. Life might finally be coming together for her. That is if you don’t count the endless home repairs, dealing with eccentric Aunt Polly who claims they’re both witches, and Nolan Dawson the handsome home inspector who seems to have it out for her, then, sure, life is grand. Oh and not to mention the strange hallucinations and garden gnomes who are far more than lawn ornaments. If mysterious accidents don’t do her in, then the rebellious gnomes just might. With the help of Aunt Polly, it’s up to Lily to discover who’s sabotaging her new home and trying to drive the Goodes out of Lucky Valley once and for all. From NY Times & USA TODAY Bestselling Author, Michelle M. Pillow, a Cozy Mystery Paranormal Romantic Comedy. 5 Stars! "Holy HedgeWitches! This is a fab new cosy series." Nikki's Book Nook ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ About the (Un)Lucky Valley Series Did you love Fooled Around and Spelled in Love, and Curses and Cupcakes by Michelle M. Pillow? Did Aunt Polly tickle your funny bone? If so, just wait until you read the next crazy adventure Aunt Polly has up her sleeve. My two books in the Happily Everlasting series are prequels to the (Un)Lucky Valley series. Books in The Happily Everlasting Series can be read in ANY order! Series can be read in any order. Happily Everlasting was a group project I did with three other amazing authors: Mandy M. Roth, Jana DeLeon, & Kristen Painter. (Un)Lucky Valley series is by (me) Michelle M. Pillow. Rating: Clean and Wholesome Praise For Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes 5 Stars! "Love this author, love this book!" - Kristen Painter, USA Today Best Selling author (2019) 5 Stars! "I love a great cozy mystery, and Michelle M. Pillow ramps it up with humor, a great cast of secondary characters and adds the paranormal! C'mon - garden gnomes?! Yes!!!" - Jill Monroe, international best selling author (2019) (Un)Lucky Valley Cozy Mysteries Fooled Around and Spelled in Love (Prequel Story) Curses and Cupcakes (Prequel Story) Better Haunts and Garden Gnomes Any Witch Way But Goode A Potion for Your Thoughts Topics: women sleuths, mystery romance, clean romance, witch, comedy, funny, paranormal romance, romantic comedy, paranormal cozy, mystery, amateur detective, Romantic Comedy, animal, magic detective, Witches & Wizards, Mystery & Detective, cozy mystery, cosy, witch romance, pnr, magic, witchcraft, ghosts, spirits, humorous, fantasy, cozy pnr, coffee house, culinary, crafts, coffeeshop, business owner, Amateur Sleuth, baker, werewolf romance, shifter, clean romance, witch, comedy, funny, paranormal romance, romantic comedy, paranormal cozy, mystery, amateur detective, Romantic Comedy, animal, magic detective, Witches & Wizards, Werewolves & Shifters, Mystery & Detective, cozy mystery, cosy, wolf-shifter, witch romance, wolf shifter, shapeshifter, pnr, magic, witchcraft, garden gnomes, ghost town, curse, charmed, ghosts, spirits, humorous, fantasy, cozy pnr, Amateur Sleuth, bed and breakfast, craft, culinary, cats Michelle M. Pillow®, Warlocks MacGregor®, and Lords of the Var® are registered trademarks of The Raven Books LLC​

Download or read book Conversations with a Gnome written by M.E. Brinton and published by Balboa Press. This book was released on 2015-10-27 with total page 149 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This tale is woven in imagination yet reality of how an invisible kingdom helped me get through a tough decade of family life, career, and keeping up personal creativity. At the end of each day I simply sat back and used fantasy to see what it might be like for invisible gnomes, the Little People, as my Irish granny called them, to view us human beings. Or so-called humanwhat is that?

Download or read book Wistful Wonderings written by Jane Mellingen and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2014-11-06 with total page 49 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I love nature, writing, and music! Nature and my writing always work together. The Cottage in the Wood is a short story in an unknown country in a time of long ago. Analina, one of the two main characters, goes out into a most unusual and beautiful forest. It is a forest where Analina looks for her own true self and is also looking for a true friend. It is also a Christmas story. In Les Poèmes I have written several poems. They are a search for meaning in life in the Universe and on the Earth. There are quite a few poems about a troubadour and a poetess. These poems have much to do with nature and genuine love. The troubadour, of course, sings his songs. This poetry is rather mystical, and some of it relates to God. Some of it, I would say, is quite simple, but a lot of thought has gone into it. When I write any story or poetry at all, it comes to me. I can never force it. It either comes, or it does not come. Of course, I have to work with it quite a lot, but I cannot exactly explain to you how it happens. I am not certain what the driving force is that sparks the creativity.

Download or read book A Special Christmas with the Gnomes written by and published by Crescent. This book was released on 1986 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a land far away, magical little people called gnomes deliver Christmas gifts and surprises instead of Santa Claus.

Download or read book Argosy All story Weekly written by and published by . This book was released on 1928 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: