Download or read book Sh t My Dad Says written by Justin Halpern and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-05-04 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.

Download or read book My Dad Thinks He s Funny written by Katrina Germein and published by Candlewick Press. This book was released on 2013-04-09 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A gift-appropriate story for kids features a long-suffering boy's eye-rolling observations of his father's bombastic and often corny sense of humor, which is comprised of groan-out-loud puns and wisecracking rejoinders.

Download or read book Stop the Dad Jokes written by Adrian Beck and published by Random House Australia. This book was released on 2021-07-02 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Father's Day picture book from funny guy Adrian Beck that will have the whole family laughing. Warning: Do not show this book to dads! This book is full of DAD JOKES that are embarrassing, goofy and NOT FUNNY! A trip to the zoo with Dad means seeing lots of animals . . . and hearing plenty of dad jokes too! A hilarious story by Adrian Beck (a dad) illustrated by Simon Greiner (another dad). The perfect Father's Day gift and read-aloud story!

Download or read book Funny Things My Dad Say written by 4k Print Studio and published by . This book was released on 2019-12-18 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny Things My Dad Say is a fun yet elegant Notebook/ Journal / Diary to write down all those cute, funny, crazy, adorable and witty things your father said. A must-have for anyone who loves his daddy, and an excellent gift idea for friends and family! Never forget your dad's memories. These phrases will be treasured for years to come. 6" x 9" 120 pages blank lined journal with a soft matte cover finish.

Download or read book Dad How Do I written by Rob Kenney and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-05-18 with total page 230 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the host of the YouTube channel that went viral—Dad, How Do I?—comes a book that’s part memoir/part inspiration/part DIY. Rob Kenney’s father left him and his seven siblings when he was fourteen years old, and the youngest had to fend for themselves. He wished that he had someone who could teach him the basics—how to tie a tie, jump-start a car, unclog a drain, use tools properly—as well as succeed in life. But he and his siblings had to figure these things out on their own. Now a father himself, Rob decided that he would help people out by providing how-to tips as well as advice—and even throw in some bad dad jokes. He started a YouTube channel for anyone looking for fatherly advice, and in the course of three months, gained a following of nearly 2.5 million subscribers, with millions of views for his how-to and inspirational videos. In this book, Rob shares his story of overcoming a difficult childhood with the strength of faith and family, and offers inspiration and hope. In addition, he provides 50 practical DYI instructions (30 of which will be unique to the book), illustrated with helpful line drawings.

Download or read book Tips and Tidbits for Parents and Teachers written by Pat Kozyra and published by Strategic Book Publishing. This book was released on 2013-12-03 with total page 489 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Teacher Pat Kozyra is now acting upon the many requests from family, friends, and colleagues that she write a book about her half century in the teaching profession. This seasoned professional has so many Tips and Tidbits to offer, so much to tell, and so much to share with colleagues! She has taught primary grades, vocal music, art resource, and gifted education, and has been a preschool coordinator, English as a Second Language teacher, and has presented courses in special education at Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada. The author felt the time was right to celebrate her milestone by sharing with parents and teachers alike the important Tips and Tidbits she has learned in her distinguished career.

Download or read book My Daddy is a Giant written by Carl Norac and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2005 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A little boy's father seems so large to him that he needs a ladder to cuddle him and birds nest in his father's hair.

Download or read book Dad Is Fat written by Jim Gaffigan and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.

Download or read book Hi Hungry I m Dad written by Hi Hungry. I'm and published by . This book was released on 2021-05-25 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 350 Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners for the Groan Up in all of Us

Download or read book With My Daddy written by Jo Witek and published by Harry N. Abrams. This book was released on 2018-04-24 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A little girl honors her dad and all the fun they have together in this sweet companion to In My Heart. Our spunky heroine loves spending time with her dad. They ride bikes and swim in the pool They can imagine exciting adventures, or just lounge around on a hot day. Being with her dad makes her feel safe and comforted, strong and powerful. She can confront the neighbor's dog and get thrown up in the air And when she gets too scared, or too angry, nothing calms her down better than a big hug from dad. This addition to the bestselling Growing Hearts series will make an appealing gift for Father's Day.

Download or read book My Dad Thinks I m a Boy written by Sophie Labelle and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. This book was released on 2020-02-21 with total page 45 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'My Dad thinks I'm a boy named Stephen who likes wrestling and fishing. But that's what my Dad likes.' Stephie is 7 years old. She likes bugs, books and spaghetti. Also, she's a girl... which should be pretty easy to understand, right? Well, not for her Dad! He's been mistaking her for a boy since she was born and struggles to see her for who she is. This powerful and uplifting book for children aged 6 - 9 and their families humorously portrays a situation that is often too common, where a trans child is forced to negotiate between their true self and their parents' love. With amusing illustrations, and a useful guide for adults, it's the perfect book to help show children that no one else than ourselves gets to decide who we are.

Download or read book More Shit My Dad Says written by Justin Halpern and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2013-07-01 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Growing up, every time I saw a men's magazine cover that had a headline about '73 Ways to Please Your Girlfriend', all I could think was 'I'm good with one; just tell me one way to please her. Also, I don't have a girlfriend. Is there an article about that?'" Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): "Just take a day to think about it." This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, to the adventures and misadventures of teenage relationships. Crossing the warmth of The Wonder Years with the candour and observational humour of David Sedaris, this follow-up to the hottest comedy debut of last year is a hilarious, toe-curlingly true book about life, and love.

Download or read book Dad Jokes written by Dad Says Jokes and published by Cassell. This book was released on 2019-05-14 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of the very best jokes from the hilarious Instagram account @dadsaysjokes - so bad they're good. From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns. Here are a couple of tasters: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose. Q: Are you today's date? A: Cuz you're 10/10.

Download or read book Things I ve Said to My Children written by Nathan Ripperger and published by Ten Speed Press. This book was released on 2015-09-15 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An illustrated gift book that brings to life the universal parenting experience of saying strange and hilarious things to one's kids. As the father of five boys (all under age 10), graphic designer Nathan Ripperger has found himself saying some rather funny, absurd, and downright bizarre things to his children, from "Stop riding that penguin, we're leaving" to "I am NOT talking to you until you are wearing underwear." He created poster-like images for each and posted them online. The response from other parents was overwhelming. With Things I've Said to My Children, Ripperger has assembled around 80 of the funniest, weirdest, and most amusing sayings and paired them with full-color, designed images that bring these outrageously hysterical quotes to life. Covering the essential parenting topics like food, animals, don'ts, and of course, bodily functions, Things I've Said to My Children is a light-hearted illustrated reminder of the shared absurdity of parenthood. Especially for those parents who've ever found themselves uttering some variation of the line, "Please don't eat the goldfish crackers you've put in your butt."

Download or read book I Suck at Girls written by Justin Halpern and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2012-05-15 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance. "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Download or read book Being a Dad Is Weird written by Ben Falcone and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-05-16 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A funny and intimate look at fatherhood from the actor and writer/director of The Boss and Tammy that combines stories about his own larger-than-life dad and how his experiences raising two daughters with his wife, Melissa McCarthy, who also penned the Foreword, are shaped by his own childhood. Though he’s best known for his appearances in the movie Enough Said, as well as his hilarious role as Air Marshall Jon in Bridesmaids, Ben Falcone isn’t a big shot movie star director at home. There, he’s just dad. In this winning collection of stories, Ben shares his funny and poignant adventures as the husband of Melissa McCarthy, and the father of their two young daughters. He also shares tales from his own childhood in Southern Illinois, and life with his father—an outspoken, brilliant, but unconventional man with a big heart and a somewhat casual approach to employment named Steve Falcone. Ben is just an ordinary dad who has his share of fights with other parents blocking his view with their expensive electronic devices at school performances. Navigating the complicated role of being the only male in a house full of women, he finds himself growing more and more concerned as he sounds more and more like his dad. While Steve Falcone may not have been the briefcase and gray flannel suit type, he taught Ben priceless lessons about what matters most in life. A supportive, creative, and downright funny dad, Steve made sure his sons’ lives were never dull—a sense of adventure that carries through this warm, sometimes hilarious, and poignant memoir.

Download or read book How to Build a Pillow Fort written by Dushka Zapata and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2018-11-03 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pillow fort building is arduous and complex and requires a full day and all hands on board.Phase one. Crew runs around the house collecting necessary material. Assemble all pillows and blankets that can be found. Make a gigantic pile. Jump on pile to test resilience and consistency of the various elements available. (This will soon become valuable intelligence.)Phase two.Step back. Assess and discuss. Get milk and cookies (for the master planner), find paper and crayons and develop elaborate architectural sketches.Phase three.Agree on the general purpose of the fort. Attack? Defense? A place to hide inside undetected by pesky parents? (The last one usually wins.) Take a lunch break.Find the rest of the instructions within.