Download or read book Funny Shaped Balls written by Jonathan Swan and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-08-31 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,000 sporting funnies from every sport: football, rugby, cricket, golf, boxing, snooker and beyond... Two men fishing on a river bank in a canal in London on a Saturday afternoon miles away from a radio or TV. Suddenly one man turns to the other and says, 'Spurs have lost again.' The other man is astonished and says, 'How on earth do you know that?' The other man replies, 'It's quarter to five.' After the success of the George Foreman grill, Audley Harrison is launching his own toaster. The problem is it can only do four rounds. What does Steve Harmison put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A bat

Download or read book Rubber Balls and Liquor written by Gilbert Gottfried and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2011-04-26 with total page 285 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “More than a national treasure, he’s a secret weapon. If we had had Gilbert Gottfried in World War II, Hitler would have given up in 1942.” —Stephen King In the early 1970s, as our nation’s youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn’t suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. Hilarious highlights include: Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert An even shorter list of Gilbert’s comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on-screen Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he’s ever performed Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert’s years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Kiefer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip ‘n’ save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book’s spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends The story behind Gilbert’s infamous retelling of the classic “Aristocrats” routine that defined the most recent phase of his career And much more!

Download or read book Football For Dummies written by Howie Long and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2007-06-15 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate fan's guide to America's most popular sport Since the last edition of Football For Dummies, new stadiums have been built, new stars have ascended, and records have been broken. This new edition has been revised to reflect today's game, giving football fans up-to-the-minute information on all the rules and regulations, positions, plays, and penalties. Featuring coverage of the newest stadium technologies, revised greatest players and legends, and pro-football must-do experiences, it also includes expert advice on training and gearing up for those who play the game. Fans will discover the best ways to enjoy football-at home or at the stadium.

Download or read book Football For Dummies USA Edition written by Howie Long and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2023-04-27 with total page 423 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn how to tell a first down from a touchdown and get up to speed on the latest trends in the sport Football For Dummies is a comprehensive fan’s guide to football and its many components. This updated edition includes coverage of new players, rules, and strategies. With deep explanations of every position, analysis of offense and defense, and detailed strategies for play, football legend Howie Long and established football analyst John Czarnecki present the basics of football for fans of all ages and experiences. Get the working knowledge that you need to follow the game of football and enjoy it with friends and family. The book covers everything you need to be the most knowledgeable spectator in the stadium! Learn the rules of football so you can follow what’s happening in the game Increase your enjoyment of football by discovering the nuances you don’t know Keep up with friends and family when you watch games together, in person, or on TV Get up to date on the latest players, rule changes, and top strategies This fun Dummies guide is for everyone who is interested in football and wants to get familiar with the sport, including its history, so they can watch games in person and on television, follow all the action, and enjoy football games to the maximum. It’s also a great reference for fans who need to settle bets about the official rules of play!

Download or read book What is a Loose head written by John Griffiths and published by Portico. This book was released on 2015-07-30 with total page 142 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The laws of the game are made simple - for players, referees, coaches and spectators. This is a book packed full of useful information and advice on how the modern game is played and how it all began. Now all players, novice referees and school coaches seeking to understand more about the rules and regulations can find an answer to their various questions. Featuring all key areas in the game, including: The intricacies of point scoring, the definition of a loose head and tight head, foul play and dangerous play, rucks and mauls, throwing in at the line-outs and, most importantly, why the funny-shaped ball. Written in a user-friendly style, you can't afford to be without this definitive reference book. For the observer who needs to know more than the TV commentator can ever tell him, this book is first rate and full of insight into tactics and game plans. It's a revelation which helps explain the inexplicable, and reveals the basic simplicity of the game.

Download or read book King Kamehameha s Dilemmas written by Antonina Irena Brzozowska and published by Austin Macauley Publishers. This book was released on 2023-04-28 with total page 238 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ‘King’ Kamehameha’s sole interest in further securing his blissful existence is sprinkled with adventures and unavoidable challenges. All is going smoothly until, one day, Toni, his long-suffering owner, decides she wants to find herself a hubby and potential stepdad for ‘His Majesty’. This sets the ‘King’ off on a personal mission, to deter any impending union between an unfortunate victim and Toni, the ‘King’s’ servant. And, just as ‘His Majesty’ thinks he is safe and secure, lockdown descends on his kingdom. Will Toni succeed in enforcing her strict rules and regulations, when ‘King’ Kamehameha is in the full throes of conjuring up his own rules and regulations? When Toni is on her deathbed in the hospital, will the ‘King’, at least, think about mending his mischievous ways? Where will your loyalty, as a subject and reader, be placed?

Download or read book The Boy Who Skipped written by Jeff Adkins and published by Jeff Adkins. This book was released on 2012-01-17 with total page 382 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What seems like a series of unconnected anecdotes become the threads that bind together the story of three people, and one very unusual year at Col. Devitt Caudill Memorial High School. The Boy Who Skipped tells three intertwined stories: Jeff Mason auditions for the school play as a favor to his older sister. He is a bright science geek, looking for his place in the universe as well as in the hallways of his school. Lynn Anderson is a gifted actress and cheerleader, seeking something to make her life meaningful in her new rural school far from the suburban life she had expected and the suburban life she feared. And young teacher Carol Caudill is determined to bring the beauty and power of theater to a town that would just as soon live without it...and heaven help anyone who stands in her way. The story is set in a small town in 1970's Eastern Kentucky. Based on real events, it tells stories about how these three people and a group of young actors set out to do what everyone told them was impossible.

Download or read book Sometimes I Like to Curl Up in a Ball written by Vicki Churchill and published by Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.. This book was released on 2001 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Charming full page illus. featuring an adorable wombat. 3-5 yrs.

Download or read book Joy the Baker Cookbook written by Joy Wilson and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2012-02-28 with total page 562 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Joy the Baker Cookbook includes everything from "Man Bait" Apple Crisp to Single Lady Pancakes to Peanut Butter Birthday Cake. Joy's philosophy is that everyone loves dessert; most people are just looking for an excuse to eat cake for breakfast.

Download or read book The Herald Diary 2010 written by Ken Smith and published by Black & White Publishing. This book was released on 2010-10-15 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In uncertain times we all need a good laugh, and this brand new collection from THE HERALD DIARY is sure to help. In Purrsuit of Happiness has hundreds of strange, amusing and hilarious tales that will bring a smie to even the most grim-faced banker, politician or traffic warden. So go on, crack a smile and enjoy!

Download or read book Splinter City written by Shawn Corridan and published by Down & Out Books. This book was released on 2018-11-12 with total page 213 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After nearly two decades in prison, high school gridiron great Dan Parrish returns to his hometown in rural Kansas with nothing more than a duffel bag and a desire to quietly get on with his life. But picking up the pieces in a place where he was once revered isn’t as easy as he hoped, especially for a convicted felon in the Bible Belt. And in no time Dan has landed squarely in the crosshairs of an old, high school nemesis, the unctuous Judge Rick Hunter who warns Dan to “leave Echo now or be sent back where you came from.” When Dan is offered a dream job—a coaching staff position with the Echo Junior College football team—he must decide between accepting the offer and risking his newfound freedom; or leaving Echo, tail between his legs, and breaking the promise he made to his dying father. Meanwhile, Dan is falling fast for his college professor, a beautiful but enigmatic outsider who challenges him to stay in Echo. And in an odd twist of fate, Parrish’s final decision results in an outcome that splashes his name and face across every county news outlet in Kansas, forcing the former star to face off against his two most formidable adversaries: his age and his checkered past. Praise for SPLINTER CITY: “Splinter City is an action-packed homecoming tale with a satisfying twist. Dan Parrish, ex-con, ex-football star, is a fascinating, complex character who braves the prejudice of a small town that may not be ready to forgive his alleged sins.” —Deborah Shlian, winner of Florida Book Award for Rabbit in the Moon and Royal Palm Literary Award for Silent Survivor “Thomas Wolfe said, ‘You can’t go home again,’ but haven’t we all gone back, or wanted to? If you haven’t, you can go back vicariously by reading Splinter City, a fine new novel by established authors Shawn Corridan and Gary Waid. Travel with Dan Parrish as he deals with homecoming, heartbreak, and small-town football.” —David Bishop, author of The Third Coincidence “When a former local football hero returns home to a small Kansas town after eighteen years in prison he discovers even the secrets have secrets, and the forces that tried to ruin his life are still there, now more powerful, ready to finish the job. Don't read it on a work night. Highly recommend.” —Mike Pace, author of One to Go “Corridan and Waid spin a masterful tale of redemption with surprises at every turn. A great read.” —Robert B. McCaw, author of the Koa Kane Hawaii mysteries

Download or read book Inside Uranus written by Stewart Bruce and published by Stewart Bruce. This book was released on 2014-04-18 with total page 428 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hold on to your sides for the third and funniest instalment of ‘The Uranus’ space romp trilogy. Journey with the villainous Dr. D’Eath as he threatens to kill the dead people of Lom. Unsuccessful, he moves on to rush the procrastinators of Askme and falls madly in lust with Nyps, so aptly named for her big feet. Meanwhile our hero, Roy, enjoys a few adventures of his own. News of his exploits in the Dead Zone have spread throughout the galaxy and there are those who need his help. Part of his deal with Nev of the Dead Zone was to find Zak from the ‘Kidz Alright’ and to get him to do a gig in exchange for the release of all their prisoners. With both Zak and Nev aboard the Artois there is a final showdown with Dr. D’Eath and Roy uses the Architect’s T.I.T.S. to thwart him, or was it his T.W.A.T? And so the opening three books of our trilogy are done. A book of just over 100,000 words; seasoned with humour and social comment and spiced with a hint of adult language, well quite a bit of that actually.

Download or read book I Think I Can See Where You re Going Wrong written by Marc Burrows and published by Guardian Faber Publishing. This book was released on 2014-11-04 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Guardian publishes over forty thousand reader comments a day below the line. This is a miscellany of the best and most baffling thoughts from their witty, well-meaning readers. In the book, Guardian readers ponder the big questions ('Am I the only one who thinks that ham and cheese is a ghastly mix?') reflect with nostalgia on better days ('Airline employees were so much more agreeable back when they were all drunk') and share hard-won wisdom ('Dishwashers make lousy salmon poachers'). This book is best enjoyed with a soy latte in hand and yoga mat under the arm. Please store in an eco-friendly tote bag.

Download or read book Kick the Balls written by Alan Black and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2008-06-12 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A "hilarious and utterly irreverent tale" (Irvine Welsh) of a year in the life of an abrasive pee-wee soccer coach Growing up in Scotland, Alan Black learned that soccer was no mere game; it was a matter of life or death. In this harshly hilarious tale, Black, a Glasglow transplant living in suburban California, coaches the Dragons, a peewee team that proves an embarrassment to his beloved sport. They're pampered. They're soft. They've been told by their overprotective parents that (gasp!) "winning isn't everything." Using drills and bombast, Black attempts to whip the team into shape. Kick the Balls is a sidesplitting memoir of grass stains and free kicks, a no-holds-barred account of one man's bafflement by an alien culture, and a stinging satire of American parenthood. Alan Black's voice-howling from the sidelines-is that rare thing: a fresh, original, winning comic talent.

Download or read book Odd Balls written by John Scally and published by Columba Press (IE). This book was released on 2016-04-04 with total page 252 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Rugby is not a game for those who think that centres are what you find in a box of Black Magic or who confuse Jonah Lomu with Joanna Lumley. At the same time, it is not a game for the bright: what kind of tortured mind would invent an oval ball? Of course, it helps if you know the rules and don't have any fear. In this respect you are in the same boat as most referees, particularly if you have a problem with your eyesight. Odd-Shaped Balls is a collection of stories that evoke the fun and frolics of all players great and small. It snoops inside sweaty, smelly dressing-rooms, reveals the passions of coaches and fans - without whom rugby would cease to exist - and delves deep into the sport's archives to recall its heroes, villains and victims, all of whom are part of the daily currency. The book is no less than a who's who of rugby, with both old and young getting the opportunity to have their say. Odd-Shaped Balls captures the humour, the agony and the ecstasy of one of the world's most popular sports. mad-hatters: from Max Boyce to Keith Wood; from Sean Fitzpatrick to Austin Healy; Bill Beaumont and his streaker to Gavin Hastings; from Gareth Edwards to David Campese; and from the man in the scrum to the man at the bar. All exponents of surrealism, comic genius and savage wit, they offer a quirky insight into the sporting psyche as well as providing some riotous good laughs. With hundreds of funny stories, Odd-Shaped Balls is a light-hearted romp through decades of rugby tomfoolery that is guaranteed to put a smile on the face of all sports fans.

Download or read book Tailgate to Heaven written by Adam Goldstein and published by Potomac Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2012 with total page 439 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 1 British NFL fan, 1 NFL season, 40 games!

Download or read book Crossing the Cultural Divide written by Dominic Stewart and published by edizioni simple. This book was released on 2012-09-01 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Crossing the Cultural Divide: the Gaffes of an Englishman in Italy tells the laugh-out-loud tales of Hugh Stalwart, an English teacher who decides to move to Italy. It’s the story of a man who tries to blend into Italian life and culture as inconspicuously as he can, but who keeps running into trouble and making terrible gaffes, both linguistic and cultural. Over twenty years of Stalwart’s life and times are traced through a series of snapshots which provide insights into the Italian way of life and the British in Italy.