Download or read book The 2 320 Funniest Quotes written by and published by Ulysses Press. This book was released on 2011-08-16 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ENJOY THE MOST HILARIOUS QUOTES OF ALL TIME Presenting the best of the best from AllGreatQuotes.com, this uproarious volume features gems on every topic, from sex and money to spouses and politics. Bringing together clever remarks from celebrities, politicians, thinkers, comedians and generally funny people, this collection of snappy quotes will leave you in hysterics. - God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time. -- Robin Williams - Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan - Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde - The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV -- Homer Simpson - When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his fi rst name was "Always." -- Rita Rudner - Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns

Download or read book West Texas Tales written by Donnie Kingman and published by iUniverse. This book was released on with total page 238 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Great Plains written by Ian Frazier and published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. This book was released on 2001-05-04 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: National Bestseller Most travelers only fly over the Great Plains--but Ian Frazier, ever the intrepid and wide-eyed wanderer, is not your average traveler. A hilarious and fascinating look at the great middle of our nation. With his unique blend of intrepidity, tongue-in-cheek humor, and wide-eyed wonder, Ian Frazier takes us on a journey of more than 25,000 miles up and down and across the vast and myth-inspiring Great Plains. A travelogue, a work of scholarship, and a western adventure, Great Plains takes us from the site of Sitting Bull's cabin, to an abandoned house once terrorized by Bonnie and Clyde, to the scene of the murders chronicled in Truman Capote's In Cold Blood. It is an expedition that reveals the heart of the American West.

Download or read book Treasury of Texas Sayings written by Bill Cannon and published by . This book was released on 2008-07-01 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cannon's collection of Texas sayings can unlock the mysteries often hidden within mom's and dad's favorite admonitions. This guide not only makes clear the meaning and wisdom, but, also reveals 600 words, phrases, and sayings used by Texans to convey their feelings.

Download or read book West Texas War and Other Western Stories written by Gary Lovisi and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2008 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book More Texas Sayings Than You Can Shake a Stick At written by Anne Dingus and published by . This book was released on 2014-09-16 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ZEx-Texas Monthly writer Anne Dingus has collected some of the state's best sayings, then updated with another 200, incuding quips from Molly Ivins, Ann Richards, LBJ, Jim Hightower, Dan Rather and famed UT Coach Darrell Royal.

Download or read book On a slow train through Arkansaw funny railroad stories sayings of the southern darkies all the latest and best minstrel jokes of the day written by Thomas William Jackson and published by Dalcassian Publishing Company. This book was released on 1934-01-01 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Famous Gamblers Poker History and Texas Stories written by Johnny Hughes and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2012-08 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You have a great writing style, very credible, and entertaining. Those were dangerous times. Almost all of the guys are gone. A great book!... -Doyle Brunson, Poker Hall of Fame, author. He's as good a writer as he is a player. When it comes to poker tales...Johnny Hughes is your man.... -Anthony Holden, London, President of the International Federation of Poker, author ... a captivating raconteur and avid historian...brings them to life with a unique flair and panache...(He) paints word pictures with witty, lush brush strokes reminiscent of Tom Wolfe... -Paul "Dr. Pauly" McGuire, author ..the William Manchester of poker historians...a Hughes narrative is like lighting a lantern into the darkest recess of poker's subculture...provides the very best portrait of these unique real-life characters of anyone on record... -Nolan Dalla, Media Director. World Series of Poker, author. ...the true story...of the beginnings of the phenomenon that poker has become... -Crandell Addington, Poker Hall of Fame. Reading...is only paralleled by listening to him tell those stories in real time...like putting yourself in the same room as it all unfolded...when the mob ruled Las Vegas...the real stories... -Ryan Sayer, OnTilt Radio, C.O.O., and Host. www.JohnnyHughes.com

Download or read book West Texas Crude written by Rick Marcum and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2015-12-11 with total page 383 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In West Texas Crude, a young Cochiti Pueblo student and quantum physics genius, Edwin Teba, has been attacked and left for dead. Edwins college professor, Alex Lohr, soon realizes that he has a surprising personal connection to Edwins familysomeone he hasnt seen in over forty years. As a result, the college president asks Alex to help protect and defend Edwins family. In the process, Alex learns that Edwin is involved in the creation of a revolutionary artificial intelligence with astounding potential. This special action means Alex must now put on hold his quest for inner peace and happiness. He has had a lifetime of struggling with his fears. So in his mind, the only way to totally eradicate his fear is to not just find the culprits but to kill them. As Alex considers all the potential attackers, we learn of his many financial successes and the transgressions he committed to enable them. Alexs life is also sprinkled with tremendous consequences. He has paid dearly for his many sins and only recently has he learned that everything that looks good aint always good for you. Throughout his life, Alex has been exposed to evil in many forms, some more deceiving than others. And in West Texas Crude, we join him on his journey as he considers all the potential suspects. In the process, we learn the complexities of northern New Mexico, the pueblo people, and the Hispanic culture. But we also learn what Alex must do to find true happiness. He must confront the rage that lies deep in the heart of the man in the mirror.

Download or read book This Dog ll Hunt written by Wallace O. Chariton and published by Republic of Texas Press. This book was released on 1989-01-01 with total page 277 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a useful and entertaining book on the colorful language of Texas. It is a collection of thousands of Texasisms arranged in dictionary format. You can quickly find terms and corresponding sayings for any purpose. A variety of interesting quotations, explanations, selected pronunciation guides, and interesting stories are included to make this book the authoritative Texas language reference.

Download or read book Lawmen of the Old West written by Del Cain and published by Taylor Trade Publishing. This book was released on 2001-01-16 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some of the law officers who served the West during the last half of the nineteenth century drifted from one side of the law to the other and sold their talents to whichever side offered the most advantage. Others used their positions as cover for their criminal activities. The lawmen in this book were serious offenders against the laws they had at one time sworn to uphold. Their skills were honed in range wars and family feuds and polished along the cattle trails, in the saloons and banks, and on the trains of the West. Some of them did good work enforcing the law when that was their job. Others had equally successful careers on the other side of the law. More than one kicked out their lives at the end of ropes strung up by citizens who were outraged by their abuse of the trust that went along with the badge they wore. These are their stories.

Download or read book Speak Texan in 30 Minutes Or Less written by Lou Hudson and published by Great Texas Line Press. This book was released on 2003-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Hilarious guide to lone star lingo, from draw/te twang with innumerable regional turns of phrase. Issued by the fictional Texas twang preservation society."

Download or read book The Texanist written by David Courtney and published by University of Texas Press. This book was released on 2017-04-25 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of Courtney's columns from the Texas Monthly, curing the curious, exorcizing bedevilment, and orienting the disoriented, advising "on such things as: Is it wrong to wear your football team's jersey to church? When out at a dancehall, do you need to stick with the one that brung ya? Is it real Tex-Mex if it's served with a side of black beans? Can one have too many Texas-themed tattoos?"--Amazon.com.

Download or read book Bad Biscuits and Ugly Women written by Liz Kingston Bettle and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on 2009-06 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book El Arroyo s Big Book of Signs Volume One written by Cozumel Publishing Company and published by . This book was released on 2017-11-15 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Tex-Mex restaurant's famous marquee sign, whose black letters tell a new joke to passing motorists each day, is featured in "El Arroyo's Big Book of Signs: Volume One." 158 signs to enjoy8"x8" Hardback

Download or read book Meat Eater written by Steven Rinella and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the #1 New York Times bestselling author and host of Netflix’s MeatEater comes “a unique and valuable alternate view of where our food comes from” (Anthony Bourdain). “Revelatory . . . With every chapter, you get a history lesson, a hunting lesson, a nature lesson, and a cooking lesson. . . . Meat Eater offers an overabundance to savor.”—The New York Times Book Review Meat Eater chronicles Steven Rinella’s lifelong relationship with nature and hunting through the lens of ten hunts, beginning when he was an aspiring mountain man at age ten and ending as a thirty-seven-year-old Brooklyn father who hunts in the remotest corners of North America. He tells of having a struggling career as a fur trapper just as fur prices were falling; of a dalliance with catch-and-release steelhead fishing; of canoeing in the Missouri Breaks in search of mule deer just as the Missouri River was freezing up one November; and of hunting the elusive Dall sheep in the glaciated mountains of Alaska. A thrilling storyteller, Rinella grapples with themes such as the role of the hunter in shaping America, the vanishing frontier, the ethics of killing, and the disappearance of the hunter himself as consumers lose their connection with the way their food finds its way to their tables. The result is a loving portrait of a way of life that is part of who we are—as humans and as Americans.

Download or read book The Cowgirl s Guide to Life written by Gladiola Montana and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 488 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Straight talk from the lassoin’ lady—from knowing the best time to hold your tongue to using the right bait when you’re fishing for compliments. This sassy cowgirl and her sidekick cowboy partner capture the feminine perspective on life. This common-sense wisdom in humorous form is all about living and loving. Women will laugh about it—from the boardroom to the suburban book club. Gems include: “It is better to be a widower’s second wife than his first.” “If you’re fixin’ to get yourself a good stallion, don’t go lookin’ in the donkey corral.” “High steppers give bumpy rides.” “If you’ve done it, it ain’t braggin’.” “Always say ‘please’ when you tell somebody to shut up.”