Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships 500 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2006-09-01 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.
Download or read book Funniest People in Relationships 250 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by . This book was released on 2011 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Jason and the Argonauts A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes Argonautica written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-10-23 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book William Shakespeare s 1 Henry VI aka Henry VI Part 1 A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book From the Iliad to the Odyssey A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna s Posthomerica written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-10-23 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Homer created the epic poems ""Iliad"" and ""Odyssey."" The "Iliad" tells only a small part of the story of the Trojan War. For example, the "Iliad" does not tell the story of the Trojan Horse although Homer knew about the Trojan Horse and assumed that his audience knew its story. Other, shorter epic poems that made up the Epic Cycle told the rest of the story of the Trojan War. The ""Iliad"" and the ""Odyssey"" have survived to the present time, but the other epic poems of the Epic Cycle have been lost since ancient times. Fortunately, Quintus of Smyrna wrote an epic poem that retold the tales recounted in the lost epic poems of the Epic Cycle. He told the story of the Trojan War from the end of the ""Iliad ""to when Odysseus sets sail for home in the "Odyssey" after Troy has fallen. In this retelling, as in all my retellings, I have tried to make the work of literature accessible to modern readers.
Download or read book John Ford s Tis Pity She s a Whore A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-01-29 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of John Ford's tragedy "'Tis Pity She's a Whore." In this tragedy, a brother and sister fall in love and commit incest.
Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships written by David Bruce and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 2 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2008-11-01 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book collects 250 stories about good deeds, including this one: When the great 19th-century actor Sir Henry Irving discovered an old woman who needed money to survive but who couldn't work, he would hire her to take care of the cats in his theater. Later, he was going to hire an old woman to take care of the cats, but then he discovered that he had already hired three old women to take care of the cats. Therefore, he hired this old woman to take care of the three old women who took care of the cats.
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 3 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2006-11 with total page 239 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 1 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The doing of good deeds is important. As a free person, you can choose to live your life as a good person or as a bad person. To be a good person, do good deeds. To be a bad person, do bad deeds. If you do good deeds, you will become good. If you do bad deeds, you will become bad. To become the person you want to be, act as if you already are that kind of person. Each of us chooses what kind of person we will become. To become a hero, do the things a hero does. To become a coward, do the things a coward does. The opportunity to take action to become the kind of person you want to be is yours. ; ;This book collects 250 stories of good deeds from the arts, from religion, and from life.
Download or read book The Funniest People in Relationships 250 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-07-06 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This paperback is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes." It includes 250 anecdotes, including this one: When Alyene Porter was a little girl growing up early in the 20th century, a man named Brother Mahoney in her church had a distinctive and chronic case of the sniffles: He would make one big sniffle, pause, then make three small sniffles in a row. There was never any variation in his snif-fling. On Christmas Eve, little Alyene was getting ready to talk to Santa Claus at the church when she heard Santa give a sniffle that sounded just like the sniffle of Brother Mahoney. To make sure, she listened closely: one big sniffle, pause, then three small sniffles in a row. Shocked and disappointed, she ran crying to her mother, who explained that anyone can be Santa Claus as long as they like children and spread joy at Christmas. That night, Alyene's parents woke her so she could be Santa and help fill the Christmas stockings while her siblings slept.
Download or read book William Shakespeare s Love s Labor s Lost A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2016-06-07 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of William Shakespeare's "Love's Labor's Lost." People who read this version first will find the original play much easier to read and understand.
Download or read book John Ford s The Broken Heart A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-03-02 with total page 154 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of John Ford's THE BROKEN HEART. According to Charles Lamb, ""Ford was of the first order of poets. He sought for sublimity, not by parcels in metaphors or visible images, but directly where she has her full residence in the heart of man; in the actions and sufferings of the greatest minds.""
Download or read book Tarlton s Jests A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-01-14 with total page 115 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of ""Tarlton's Jests, ""which tells anecdotes about Queen Elizabeth I's favorite jester. He is thought to have been the Yorick in Hamlet's famous soliloquy. This book contains the original ""Tarlton's Jests"" in addition to the retelling. 25. How Tarlton Deceived a Doctor of Physic [Medicine]. Tarlton, to satisfy the humors [moods] of certain gentlemen who were his familiar acquaintances, decided to test the skill of a simple Doctor of Physic, who dwelt not far from Islington, and this is what happened: Tarlton took a urinal, filled it half full of good wine, and carried it to this doctor, saying it was a sick man's urine. The doctor viewed it, and tossing it up and down, as though he had great knowledge, he said that the patient whose urine it is, is full of gross humors, and has need of purging, and needs to be bled some ten ounces of blood. "No, you dunce," Tarlton replied. "It is good p*ss," and he drank it all and then threw the urinal at the doctor's head.
Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy 250 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-03-25 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Paperback edition. This book is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes." This book contains 250 anecdotes about comedians, including this one: When Jack Benny was ill, he had to get shots in his backside twice a week. His nurse gave him his shots in alternate cheeks, but sometimes she had trouble remembering which cheek should receive the next shot. So finally Mr. Benny walked into the doctor's office, dropped his pants, and on one cheek was printed "Tues" and on the other, "Thurs."
Download or read book William Shakespeare s The Merchant of Venice A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-01-20 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One theme of the play is the harmful effects that prejudice can have on people. It can make someone want to cut a pound of flesh from a living person. It can make someone spit on the clothing and the beard of an old person. We can sympathize with Shylock because he is the victim of prejudice, but he also is guilty of prejudice. He hates Antonio in part because he is a Christian, although he has some other very good reasons for hating Antonio. We ought not to sympathize with Shylock when he wants Antonio to pay the penalty that is in the contract that Antonio signed.
