Download or read book Father Christmas s Fake Beard written by Terry Pratchett and published by Random House. This book was released on 2017-10-05 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of wonderful Christmas stories from the fantastically funny Terry Pratchett. With incredible illustrations from Mark Beech, it's the perfect stocking filler! Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store or, was even, arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again. 'Funny, action-packed . . . a rip-roaring read' The Sun

Download or read book The Time travelling Caveman written by Terry Pratchett and published by Random House. This book was released on 2020-09-03 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: *The final collection of short stories from the incredible Sir Terry Pratchett!* Imagination is an amazing thing. It can take you to the top of the highest mountain, or down to the bottom of the deepest depths of the sea. This where it took Doggins on his Awfully Big Adventure: a quest full of magic and flying machines. (And the world's best joke - trust me, it's hilarious.) It took three young inventors to the moon (where they may or may not have left a bottle of lemonade) and a caveman on a trip to the dentist. You can join them on these adventures, and many more, in this incredible collection of stories . . . From the greatest imagination there ever was. Written for local newspapers when Terry Pratchett was a young lad, these never previously published stories are packed full of anarchic humour and wonderful wit. A must-have for Terry fans . . . and young readers looking for a fix of magic.

Download or read book Sketchy Santas written by Will Zweigart and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ho, ho, huh? Who’s that excessively jolly fellow with the fake beard, shifty eyes, sweaty hands, and boozy breath? Why, it’s not just Santa but sketchy Santa! Yes, ’tis the season for awkward photos of small children posed precariously on the laps of some of the most clownish, irritable, and just plain weird-looking Santa wannabes—guys you’d give a wide berth to if you passed them on the street. Inside this painfully hilarious collection of holiday photos, you’ll discover the pop culture history of the sketchy Santa, and how to identify sketchy Santas in shopping malls everywhere . . . making this the perfect gift for anyone who understands that "He sees you when you’re sleeping" is a deeply disturbing thought.

Download or read book Dragons at Crumbling Castle written by Terry Pratchett and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2015-02-03 with total page 357 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times best-selling author Terry Pratchett's irreverent and irresistible tales for children in a lavishly designed and extensively illustrated volume.

Download or read book The Witch s Vacuum Cleaner and Other Stories written by Terry Pratchett and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-01-03 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards? An exciting journey in an airship or down in a submarine? Would you like to meet the fastest truncheon in the Wild West? The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner is the second fabulously funny short-story collection from the late acclaimed storyteller Terry Pratchett. A follow-up to Dragons at Crumbling Castle, this second batch of storytelling gems features stories written when Sir Terry was just seventeen years old and working as a junior reporter. In these pages, new Pratchett fans will find wonder, mayhem, sorcery, and delight—and loyal readers will recognize the seeds of ideas that went on to influence his most beloved tales later in life. As Neil Gaiman says, “a Terry Pratchett book is a small miracle”—and The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner proves to be another miracle taking its place alongside Pratchett’s astounding and cherished body of work.

Download or read book Jingle Bell Beard written by Julie Kriss and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2021-10-30 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My to do list: Revive my crashed PR career. Turn around the Kringle family business by Christmas. Convince my ex-boyfriend, NHL legend Matt "the Mountain" Kringle, to help me, even though I broke his heart when we were seventeen. Easy, right? Matt is huge, he's hot, and he's the grumpiest player in the league. I'll have to brave his bad attitude and his sexy beard if I want him to help bail out the family business and put my career back on track. I'll also have to try to forget - again - what an amazing kisser he is. None of it is going to be easy. Not when Matt's arrival in town leads to the Airport Incident and the Candy Cane Scandal - talk about embarrassing. But as Matt and I navigate disaster after disaster together, I'll have to get over the fact that I never got over him. And that love with Matt is a game I just might want to play.

Download or read book Santa from Cincinnati written by Judi Barrett and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-10-02 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everything you ever wanted to know about Santa, as told to the author of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by the big guy himself. This eBook edition includes audio! As you might imagine, the early life of Santa Claus was a liiiiiiiittle different from the childhood of your average kid. His first words were “ho ho ho!” By five he was wearing a fake beard and mustache, and could rarely be found without his favorite stuffed reindeer. It was clear from a very young age that he was destined for uniqueness.... Despite this, his parents went to great lengths to keep the normalcy in his life. They had him learn guitar (he was in a rock band!), and play baseball (he had quite an arm), and even do chores (okay—here he was like any other kid on earth—he hated chores). But there was no stopping Santa from being Santa, and one winter, he began to make his lists. He checked them twice, and delivered toys to children all over Cincinnati. Then, all over Ohio. Then—the world. Compiled from his baby book, family photos, and report cards, Santa from Cincinnati provides a full-spectrum view of the boy who grew to be the man who grew to be Santa.

Download or read book The Paper Bag Christmas written by Kevin Alan Milne and published by Center Street. This book was released on 2008-10-29 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dr. Christopher Ringle is the last person you'd expect to find moonlighting as Santa Claus at the mall on the day after Thanksgiving. But it is there that he meets a young man named Molar Alan, who desperately needs a new perspective on the underlying value of Christmas. Dr. Ringle recruits Mo and his older brother as volunteers at a nearby children's hospital for the holiday season. At the hospital, Mo is tasked to help bring holiday cheer to the young cancer patients on the fifth floor. His biggest challenge is befriending a decidedly angry girl who is so embarrassed by her scarred appearance that she hides her face behind the safety of a paper bag. Almost in spite of himself, Mo finds that Christmas joy emanates from a source far greater than the North Pole, while the young girl learns that she is more beautiful than she had ever imagined.

Download or read book Hogfather written by Terry Pratchett and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2021-04-22 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet. Superstition makes things work in the Discworld, and undermining it can have consequences. It's just not right to find Death creeping down chimneys and trying to say 'Ho Ho Ho...' It's the last night of the year, the time is turning, and if Susan, gothic governess and Death's granddaughter (sort of), doesn't sort everything out by morning, there won't be a morning. Ever again... Adapted by Terry Pratchett's long-time collaborator Stephen Briggs, this play text version of Pratchett's bestselling Discworld novel Hogfather wittily and faithfully reimagines the story for the stage.

Download or read book Santa s Beard written by Matilda Tristram and published by . This book was released on 2014 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Help Santa's Beard on a hilarious adventure to find the right face.It's summer and Santa's Beard is far too fluffy and warm on Santa's sweaty face. "Don't worry, Santa, I'll just find a new face," says his Beard, and off he flies straight on to ... the face of someone new! But neither the baby in the pram, the princess in her castle or the pirate at sea seem to want a beard. Will Santa's Beard ever find someone who wants him? In this completely hilarious novelty book illustrated in Nick Sharratt's bold and distinctive style, help guide Santa's Beard page by page on its adventure to find its rightful face.

Download or read book Star in the Forest written by Laura Resau and published by Yearling. This book was released on 2012-03-13 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zitlally's family is undocumented, and her father has just been arrested for speeding and deported back to Mexico. As her family waits for him to return—they’ve paid a coyote to guide him back across the border—they receive news that he and the coyote’s other charges have been kidnapped and are being held for ransom. Meanwhile, Zitlally and a new friend find a dog in the forest near their trailer park. They name it Star for the star-shaped patch over its eye. As time goes on, Zitlally starts to realize that Star is her father’s “spirit animal,” and that as long as Star is safe, her father will be also. But what will happen to Zitlally’s dad when Star disappears? “A vibrant, large-hearted story.”—Publishers Weekly, Starred (on Red Glass)

Download or read book My Dad Has a Beard written by Kellen Roggenbuck and published by . This book was released on 2020-09-30 with total page 22 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This story documents a little boy's reflections on the perfection of having a bearded dad! It is silly and fun, with colorful illustrations and some serious Dad love! It makes the perfect gift for a new bearded dad or a youngster who' got a bearded dad and is learning to read! Fun for the whole family, a hit from author/illustrator Kellen Roggenbuck. This title is also available in paperback.

Download or read book A Merry Aussie Christmas written by Stefanie London and published by Stefanie London. This book was released on 2021-11-30 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Their relationship is so fake it comes with costumes… At seventeen, Jasper left Patterson’s Bluff so fast the dust cloud never settled. But when fate brings him back, he’s ready to prove he’s not a bad egg like his criminal father. So, he slaps some reindeer antlers on his Basset Hound and volunteers to be Santa for the festive season. Being her hometown’s official Mrs. Claus was supposed to be fun. Instead, Evie is stuck being “married” to the sexy bad boy she crushed on in high school. The same one who broke her heart when he left town. But she can’t deny their chemistry burns hotter than an open fire. It’ll take a holiday miracle for them not to ruin Christmas. Can the misunderstood bad boy and the town golden girl get a second chance at love? Or will Evie be stuck in Jasper’s rear-view mirror once more? A Merry Aussie Christmas contains Aussie slang, adorable dog-related shenanigans, second chances and the bedroom door is flung wide open! Yep, there's steam inside. Previously appeared in the Christmas Actually anthology, this story now contains 50% additional content.

Download or read book A Gentleman s Guide to Beard and Moustache Management written by Chris Martin and published by The History Press. This book was released on 2011-06-06 with total page 84 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you know how to trim your whiskers properly? With beards and moustaches more popular than ever, this delightful little book sets out to answer this pressing question. And if a trim is not required, then it will show you how to wax, polish and maintain your face furniture so that it is always in tip-top condition. Alongside these manly grooming tips is a guide to famous facial-hair aficionados, from Karl Marx to Des Lynam; a breakdown of styles; and a perambulation through hirsute history, including an explanation of why the beard was considered sacred by the ancient Greeks and slovenly by ancient Romans. So whether it's the Handlebar or the Chevron; the Goatee or the Spade – peruse this book for hints and tips of how to handle your facial fuzz.

Download or read book Dodger s Guide to London written by Terry Pratchett and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-01-31 with total page 270 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This digital edition includes the original artwork, has been specially adapted for ebook platforms and is optimized for tablet devices. The hardback edition of Dodger's Guide to London has fully integrated images and text. ROLL UP! ROLL UP! READ ALL ABOUT IT! Ladies and Gents, Sir Jack Dodger brings you a most excellent Guide to London! Did you know . . . ? If a Victorian couldn’t afford a sweep, they might drop a goose down their chimney to clean it! A nobby lady’s unmentionables could weigh up to 40lbs! Parliament had to be suspended during the Great Stink of 1858! From the wretches of the rookeries to the fancy coves at Buckingham Palace, Dodger will show you every dirty inch of London. Warning: Includes ’orrible murders, naughty ladies and plenty of geezers!

Download or read book Letters to Santa Claus written by The Elves and published by Indiana University Press. This book was released on 2015-10-05 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A “poignant” collection of real letters sent to Santa Claus—a town in Indiana—from the 1930s to the twenty-first century, from both children and adults (The New York Times). For countless Christmases, children—and sometimes adults—have stuffed their dreams, wishes, and promises into envelopes. Over many decades, millions of these letters have poured into Santa Claus, Indiana. Arriving from all corners of the globe, the letters ask for toys, family reunions, snow, and help for the needy—sometimes the needy being the writers themselves. They are candid, heartfelt, and often blunt. Many children wonder how Santa gets into their chimneyless homes. One child reminds Santa that she has not hit her brothers over 1,350 times that year, and another respectfully requests two million dollars in “cold cash.” One child hopes to make his life better with a time machine, an adult woman asks for a man, and one miscreant actually threatens Santa’s reindeer! Containing more than 250 actual letters and envelopes from the naughty and nice reaching back to the 1930s, this moving book will touch hearts and bring back memories of a time in our lives when the man with a white beard and a red suit held out the hope that our wishes might come true. “Often very affecting . . . also offers an unusual window into American history.” —Library Journal “The letters . . . are alternately silly and somber, hilarious and heartfelt.” —The Weekly Standard

Download or read book Twelve Drummers Drumming written by C.C. Benison and published by Doubleday Canada. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Introducing a series utterly perfect for cozy fans of Alan Bradley, Alexander McCall Smith, and Louise Penny. The Reverend Tom "Father" Christmas, the newest vicar of Thornford Regis, an idyllic rural town in England, turns detective when one of his parishioners turns up dead in a drum, and everyone in town seems to have something to confess. Tom Christmas came to picturesque Thornford Regis with his young daughter to escape the terrible experience of losing his wife in the city. Her murder sent him packing to the bucolic and charming town, where violent crime isn't supposed to happen and the greatest sin is supposed to be nothing a member of the clergy can't handle. Then, at the town fair, a woman is found murdered. Tom soon learnsthat everyone in Thornford Regis has a secret to hide--infidelity, theft, even past murders. Twelve Drummers Drumming showcases a lovely place to live and/or die, and marks the debut of a planned twelve-book mystery series featuring the brilliant Father Christmas.