Download or read book Fat Vampire written by Adam Rex and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.
Download or read book Fat Vampire written by Johnny B Truant and published by . This book was released on 2024-04-29 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin meets a vampire, he wakes to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created ... doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
Download or read book Fat Vampire 2 Tastes Like Chicken written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on 2024-05-01 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead — six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him … or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths — and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries — pitting the world’s darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.
Download or read book Fat Vampire 2 written by Johnny B Truant and published by . This book was released on 2024-04-29 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him ... or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries - pitting the world's darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.
Download or read book Fat White Vampire Blues written by Andrew Fox and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2003-07-01 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.
Download or read book Vampires Never Get Old written by Zoraida Córdova and published by Imprint. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Eleven fresh vampire stories from young adult fiction’s leading voices fill this bestselling anthology—including V.E. Schwab's First Kill, now a major Netflix adaptation! "Boundary-pushing... Stories that stake a new claim on old tropes." —Publishers Weekly, starred review In this delicious new collection, you’ll find stories about lurking vampires of social media, rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, eager vampires coming out—and going out for their first kill—and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night. Welcome to the evolution of the vampire—and a revolution on the page. Vampires Never Get Old includes stories by authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley. An Imprint Book "Vampire fans, sink your teeth into this satisfying collection." —Kirkus Reviews
Download or read book Blood Ninja written by Nick Lake and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-12-01 with total page 467 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A boy from a small fishing village must face a new reality after his father is murdered and he is rescued by a mysterious ninja in this heart-stopping first novel in the Blood Ninja trilogy. Could Taro, a fisherman’s son, be destined for greatness? In the course of a day, Taro’s entire life changes: His father is murdered before his eyes, and Taro is taken by a mysterious ninja on a perilous journey toward safety. Someone wants Taro dead, but who—and why? With his best friend, Hiro, and their ninja guide, Shusaku, Taro gets caught in the crossfire of a bitter conflict between rival lords for control of imperial Japan. As Taro trains to become a ninja himself, he’s less and less sure that he wants to be one. But when his real identity is revealed, it becomes impossible for Taro to turn his back on his fate.
Download or read book When Life Gives You Vampires written by Gloria Duke and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2022-10-04 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bridget Jones for the vampire obsessed: fans of Olivia Dade, Tessa Bailey, and Julie Murphy will love to sink their teeth into this charming romantic comedy. Single (plus size) vampire, desperately in search of a life. Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it, or die (again) trying. Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike an uneasy truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice...all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire Master determined to see her twice-dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forever more? Perfect for fans looking for: a little Halloween spirit body positive representation enemies to lovers vibes
Download or read book Tall Dark Dead written by Tate Hallaway and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-05-02 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first Garnet Lacey novel in the delightful paranormal series by the author of The Vampire Princess of St. Paul novels! The line between magic and sanity is very thin. That’s part of why I, Garnet Lacey, quit cold turkey. Never touch the stuff. No exceptions. But magic is so addictive…and my inner Goddess Lilith is hard to resist. Besides, restraint isn’t easy when you manage Wisconsin’s premiere occult bookstore, and get customers like Sebastian Von Traum—piercing brown eyes, a sexy accent, and a killer body in denim and black leather. The only thing missing is an aura. Which means he’s dead… And that means trouble. I guess I’m a sucker for it. The Vatican witch hunters are on to us. My long-lost vampire ex has crawled out of the woodwork looking for action. And Sebastian’s frustrated ex is stirring in her grave. So what’s a girl to do if she’s hot for a dead man walking? Run like hell—and take full advantage of the nights…
Download or read book Unicorn Western written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on with total page 782 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This 250,000-word "full saga" collection includes ALL NINE BOOKS in the Unicorn Western Series! Cast out from the magical kingdom of The Realm and into the dying desert of the Sands beyond, Marshal Clint Gulliver and his unicorn Edward have finally found peace in the small and dusty town of Solace. But when both the fracturing worlds and Clint’s bride-to-be are thrust into peril by an old foe, the gunslinger must come out of retirement and aim his seven-shooters at the dark magic and those who bring it. An epic quest hurls marshal and unicorn across the endless desert in pursuit of the dark rider Dharma Kold and his unicorn of a different color, where they must battle their way back toward The Realm to uncover the truth...and mayhap save the worlds that hang in the balance. From the creators of Yesterday’s Gone (Platt) and Fat Vampire (Truant) comes this reinvention of both the western genre and unicorn lore. Written for children and teens — but complex and awesome enough for adult readers — Unicorn Western is “Harry Potter without wizards but with gunslings, talking unicorns, epic fights, and more turkey pie.”
Download or read book My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet written by Mo O'Hara and published by Square Fish. This book was released on 2019-02-26 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet, the epic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series features an aspiring evil scientist, paranormal pets, and plenty of hilarious summer camp shenanigans. Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. ‘Cause I’m going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten Fang. We’ve got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn’t expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there’s no way I’m going to let them ruin my summer. Evil Emperor of the Camp, here I come! Signed, The Great and Powerful Mark
Download or read book Dunkin the Vampire Slayer Something Porcine This Way Comes written by Greg Crites and published by greg crites. This book was released on 2006-03 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What could possibly bring together a 450 pound vampire slayer, a drunken, acid-tongued detective, a good natured carpenter, bureaucratic vampires, giant anacondas, mutant vampire bats, Ho Ho's, Twinkies and 'more one-liners than a night at the comedy club'? Dunkin, the vampire slayer blends all this discordance and more into a hilarious adventure that moves from the muggy heat of Florida to the muggier heat of the Amazon.....If Carl Hiaasson, Tim Dorsey and Dave Barry collaborated on a vampire story, it may have turned out like this absurd romp.... This is part one of a trilogy. Dunkin II will begin shipping April 3rd.
Download or read book Fat Vampire 5 Fatpocalypse written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on 2024-05-01 with total page 203 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What the New Order Seeks, Reginald Must Find... The new vampire president and his psychotic right-hand man have been playing a dangerous game with the humans over the past six months. In the public eye, the two races appear to be at peace ... but the situation below the surface is hot enough to boil. And while the untrusting humans mass their defenses, vampire armies have been building to match them — with plans to exterminate the planet's current inhabitants, saving only a handful of blood slaves. Reginald, Nikki, Maurice, and the others bunkered in at Maurice's estate find themselves in the middle of a no-win scenario: Is it better to fight with their own kind in the vampire revolution? Or should they turn traitors — and risk extermination by the angels — in order to protect the humans? But just as the cold war outside is about to turn hot, Reginald's ever-expanding vampire brain reveals the existence of an artifact that could predict the outcome of the coming war … and maybe even a way to stop it. The only problem is that nobody knows where the artifact is, and when war then breaks and mass slaughter begins on both sides, it seems that time may have run out. Fat Vampire 5 is the biggest, bloodiest, most snack-filled installment in the Fat Vampire series so far, and sets the stage for the sixth book's epic series-ender — a conclusion so big it’ll shake the human world’s foundations.
Download or read book Fat Vampire 3 All You Can Eat written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on 2024-05-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Immortality Has Met Its Match... Ever since the Ring of Fire, the world's vampires have seen their mortality. They won’t live forever after all — not if the angels who created them decide to snuff them like candles. What do the angels want? What did their command to “restore balance” truly mean? For most, the angels’ decrees mean mass murder and mass turnings … but the humans aren’t sheep, and won’t just lie down and take it forever. As Deacon Maurice tries to maintain order with Reginald by his side, panic consumes the Vampire Nation. The center begins to fall apart and chaos grows like cancer. But as war between vampires and humans threatens, Reginald begins to discover strange new abilities within him: to navigate through blood history like no other vampire before him. To glamour those who can’t be glamoured. And seemingly, to stop time itself. Fear has reached its tipping point. War is close. Reginald might hold the key to the angels’ mystery … but whatever could help him intervene just might be too late.
Download or read book Fat Vampire 4 Harder Better Fatter Stronger written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on 2024-05-01 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New Dark Leader Has Emerged... Following Maurice's near-assassination and the overthrow of the American Vampire Council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they've taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council. Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight — until a coup shakes the world and a new American leader arrives with promises to restore order and derail the imminent human-vampire war. But things are not as they seem. A dangerous, genocidal faction has arisen to upset the fragile balance. The New World Order in America is not what it seems. And all the while the world's vampires face a war on two fronts: deadly, prepared human forces on one side, and their immortal creators on the other.
Download or read book Fat Vampire written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on with total page 158 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now a new TV series on SYFY: Reginald The Vampire! Death Has a Brand New Appetite... When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire. And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's further bad luck that he wakes to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created … doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity. But as Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire (too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead), he discovers rare powers in himself that few vampires have … and just in time, because the Vampire Council wants him destroyed as an inferior representative of their race.
Download or read book Fat Vampire 6 Survival of the Fattest written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on 2024-05-01 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Era of Nighttime Has Begun... Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended — that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon. As old foes rise, the power structures of both races begin to falter and the very existence of life on Earth (both hot-blooded and undead) hangs in the balance. Rebel humans have developed new and frightening weapons, and they aren't afraid to use them even if it could mean the end of everything. And Reginald Baskin — always an outcast, always neglected — may be the only chance to stop it. But as Reginald steps into his destined role as a leader, he faces a hideous inevitability that even he never saw coming … and that he may be too late to prevent.
