Download or read book Dumb Jokes Vulgar Poems written by J. Andrew Haknort and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-01-17 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This collection of more than one thousand raunchy jokes and funny poems, formatted especially for your Kindle, is easily the best pocket change you'll ever spend on anything, except for maybe some sort of medication that helps keep you alive. Here are some examples of the over one thousand (did we mention there are over 1000?) gems included in this ebook: I wrote a book about menopause, but it is hard to understand because it doesn't have any periods. When the old gypsy cursed me, I laughed in her face. I'm not laughing now, because when she saw me laugh she beat the crap out of me. I was addicted to nicotine gum, chewing three packs a day. So in order to ween myself off, I started smoking. Whenever I go fishing, I'm reminded of an old girlfriend. Her name was Annette. She also had a sister, named Smallmouth Bass. I'll never forget what my grandfather used to say. I would sit on his lap and he would yell, "Fatty buttocks! Fatty Buttocks!" at the top of his lungs. I guess I never really understood my grandfather. My parents didn't, either. That's probably why they put him away. Yes, believe it or not, there really is a blue six foot chicken named Pepe living in my bedroom closet. Either that or it's the drugs. It's much easier to differentiate between a cabbage and a lettuce if you give them names, like Shelly or Jockmo. Instead of "Mothers Day" how about "Sexy Virgins Day?" It can be nine months earlier. I never claimed to be a genius. Well, except on that billboard I rented. I remember Mom's signature dish. She called it Pork Surprise. It was just a big bowl of dirt with some clumps of weeds in it. When we asked where the pork was, she'd yell: "There's no pork... surprise!" It's not fun watching a grown man cry. Unless you have a comfy chair to sit in, and maybe some snacks. Besides the jokes, there is also absurdly bad poetry, such as: WHY THE FLOOR IS WET I pissed, And I missed. JEFF No one likes, My cousin Jeff, He's a nice guy, But has bad breff. GRANDMA My Grandma wears a diaper, I really hate to wipe her. I LOST MY SQUIRREL I lost my squirrel! I lost my squirrel! It just fell off, now I'm a girl! FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS Why is it raining? I don't Noah. GIANT HOG There is a giant hog, Who lives in my garage, But I never see him, Because he uses hamoflage. DOING TIME Prison gave me acne, So I broke out. HUNGRY GUY I ate the parrot, And didn't share it. THE PILL Mary is on the pill, But it plagues her with doubt, Whenever she has sex, The pill just falls right out. Plus hundreds more bad poems, most of them too filthy to be printed here."

Download or read book Poetry Humor and a Few Dirty Jokes written by Augustus Gregory and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on 2014-01-21 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Poetry, Humor, and a Few Dirty Jokes by Gus Gregory They say laughter is the best medicine and hearty laughter is usually what good humor provides. Yet there are times when humor serves more than that, for humor on its own gives a glimpse of reality from a perspective one might find amusing but also filled with significant life lessons to learn. In an ever-evolving and growing society, one thing is never lost among those who truly appreciates its value: humor. And in this collection of poetry and other works, Gus Gregory shares the humor from as far back as the 1930s, when public toilets were wooden outhouses, to the present, when things are a lot different but still with problems to face, laugh at, and do both for. About the Author Gus Gregory has traveled the world over and has been involved in a number of occupations. He has published two books: The Money Tree, a how-to book on how to form a nonprofit corporation to assist small communities in raising monies for various projects; and Animals and Things, teaching stories for young children. In 1988/89/90, he received the World of Poetry Organization's Gold Award for poems published in their annual collection of poetry. Gregory believes that poetry allows people who write it to express themselves in the use and meaning of the English language, and allows the reader self-interpretation, examples in point: Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken" and Gray's Epitaph "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard." Gregory's education includes Kent Hill School (AA) and the University of Maine (BA), and Masters credits from Northeastern University and USAF Aviation Cadet (Wings 53A). Credits to my wife, Joy; my friends Lucie, Jim, and Corvy; and my artist, Bill Poephhacker. This book was written for enjoyment as depicted from the author's point of view. Enjoy!

Download or read book Dirty Bertie s Book of Jokes and Poems written by and published by . This book was released on 1989 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Egghead written by Bo Burnham and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2013-10-01 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry, writing, and illustration from one of today's most popular young comedians?Ķ Bo Burnham was a precocious teenager living in his parents' attic when he started posting material on YouTube. 100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING! In Egghead, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"

Download or read book Poems Sentimental and Humorous written by W. MACINTYRE (of Inverary.) and published by . This book was released on 1825 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Adam Poems for the Living written by Keith Aaron Munroe and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2021-12-30 with total page 97 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I didn’t know Adam as well as I would have liked but I was deeply affected by his suicide and what it might mean. His life is an idol of parables and interpretations even to a stranger. Everyone has to fight against despair and the only way to move forward is to learn from each other and in that way we honor the dead so that those who have passed away become the living avatars of our purpose, our ideas and the passions that give us faith. –Keith

Download or read book The J A Konrath Reading Order Checklist written by J.A. Konrath and published by Joe Konrath. This book was released on 2016-02-02 with total page 47 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Joe Konrath has sold over two million books under various names. As JA Konrath he's written the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels series and the Timecaster series. As Jack Kilborn he's written several horror novels. As Melinda DuChamp he's written funny erotica. With Ann Voss Peterson, he's written the Codename: Chandler spy thrillers. Plus he's written a whole bunch of other stuff, a lot of it related to one or more of his series. It can get pretty confusing. This complete bibliography contains every Konrath book, in all the genres he writes in. It's a checklist for readers who want to make sure they don't miss a book, or want to make sure the books are read in the proper order. It also includes cover art, links to all of Konrath's ebooks, and a bonus Jack Daniels short story, ON THE ROCKS.

Download or read book Poems written by W. Macintyre and published by . This book was released on 1825 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Lazy Prey written by Jeroen Den Haan and published by . This book was released on 2019-02-23 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lazy Prey contains 120 poems that readers have categorized as funny, touching and vulgar. Rhyme and no rhyme, and mostly freeverse, the poems in Lazy Prey all come from the heart. Spewed out without a filter, nothing seems off limits. It is clear 'old man' Jeroen den Haan has nothing to lose, after his sanity gave out.

Download or read book Essay on Humanity and Miscellaneous Poetry written by William Macintyre (of Inveraray.) and published by . This book was released on 1845 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Idolatress and Other Poems written by James Wills and published by . This book was released on 1868 with total page 220 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Dramatic Sketches and Other Poems written by James Wills (D.D.) and published by . This book was released on 1845 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Castle of Insolence A Poem By Richard B Exton MS Notes written by CASTLE. and published by . This book was released on 1836 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Complete Works of W H Auden Poems Volume II written by W. H. Auden and published by Princeton University Press. This book was released on 2022-06-14 with total page 1114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The second of two volumes of the eagerly anticipated first complete edition of Auden’s poems—including some that have never been published before W. H. Auden (1907–1973) is one of the greatest poets of the twentieth century, and his reputation has only grown since his death. Published on the hundredth anniversary of the year in which he began to write poetry, this is the second volume of the first complete edition of Auden’s poems. Edited, introduced, and annotated by renowned Auden scholar Edward Mendelson, this definitive edition includes all the poems Auden wrote for publication, in their original texts, and all his later revised versions, as well as poems and songs he never published, some of them printed here for the first time. This volume follows Auden as a mature artist, containing all the poems that he published or submitted for publication from 1940 until his death in 1973, at age sixty-six. This includes all his poetry collections from this period, from The Double Man (1941) through Epistle to a Godson (1972). The volume also features an edited version of his incomplete, posthumous book Thank You, Fog, as well as his self-designated “posthumous” poems. The main text presents the poems in their original published versions. The notes include the extensive revisions that he made to his poems over the course of his career, and provide explanations of obscure references. The first volume of this edition, Poems, Volume I: 1927–1939, is also available.

Download or read book Selected Poems of W H Auden written by W. H. Auden and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2007-02-13 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This significantly expanded edition of W. H. Auden’s Selected Poems adds twenty poems to the hundred in the original edition, broadening its focus to better reflect the enormous wealth of form, rhetoric, tone, and content in Auden’s work. Newly included are such favorites as “Funeral Blues” and other works that represent Auden’s lighter, comic side, giving a fuller picture of the range of his genius. Also new are brief notes explaining references that may have become obscure to younger generations of readers and a revised introduction that draws on recent additions to knowledge about Auden. As in the original edition, the new Selected Poems makes available the preferred original versions of some thirty poems that Auden revised later in life, making it the best source for enjoying the many facets of Auden’s art in one volume.

Download or read book Master Couplets of Urdu Poetry written by K. C. Kanda and published by Sterling Publishers Pvt. Ltd. This book was released on 2001-07-01 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book offers a representative selection of humorous and satirical Urdu poetry, drawn from the works of seventeen major poets, including the classics like Mohammed Rafi Sauda and Akbar Allahabadi, besides the famous practitioners of this art in the 20th century. The poems are chosen on the basis of their artistic and thematic quality. These are then translated, verse by verse, into English, and transliterated in the Roman script for the benefit of the non-Urdu-knowing reader. This is probably the first book of its kind in Urdu-English translated literature.

Download or read book New Dirty Funny Sexy Witty One Liner Jokes written by Lazaro Droznes and published by . This book was released on 2019-07-02 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fourth volume of the series of books with the best dirty one-liner jokes. Potent. Pungent. Insolent. Prepotent. Indecent. Imprudent. Impertinent. Sometimes impotent. After the success of the first three volumes, this fourth book comes out with brand new dirty one liners to practice oral sex at home or at the office.Women love men with a sense of humor. The life of the party is the man who cracks the right word in the right moment. The problem is: Where are the good lines when you need them? They are here. The best one liners to show off in public and in private: Dirty jokesSexy jokesWitticismsFunny quotesRiddlesWisecracksFeminist jokesLove jokesSexist jokes.Bad jokesFunny proverbs All the one liners are related to sex, women and love relationships. The lines everybody wants to listen. Take the lines you ́ll need to become the life of the party with you in your Kindle, cellphone or tablet.Dating will never be the same. In the parties everybody will flock around eager not to miss your lines.Download this book and start dazzling women and friends! TAGSjokes, funny jokes, knock knock jokes, dirty jokes, jokes for kids, funnyjunk, yo mama jokes, corny jokes, kids jokes, adult jokes, joke of the day, santa banta jokes, jew jokes, best jokes, bad jokes, good jokes, black jokes, dead baby jokes, hilarious jokes, funny sayings, stupid jokes, jokes in English, christmas jokes, blonde jokes, funny jokes for kids, your mama jokes, joks, really funny jokes, mexican jokes, short jokes, funny one liners, one liners, jokes for adults, jokes video, one liner jokes, english jokes, yo momma jokes, funny short jokes, april fool jokes, comedy jokes, funny joks, funny kid jokes, math jokes