Download or read book Don t Poop in the Tub written by Colin Fabian Murphy and published by . This book was released on 2021-04-14 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When my bubble bath for one becomes a bubble bath for two, it's time to lay down some rules of what pirates do and don't do! Come join our adventure across the wide soap sea, I know you'll love it too, just you wait and see.
Download or read book The Slip written by Mark Sampson and published by Dundurn. This book was released on 2017-05-20 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this wickedly funny novel, one bad afternoon and two regrettable comments make the inimitable Philip Sharpe go viral for all the worst reasons. Dr. Philip Sharpe, absent-minded professor extraordinaire, teaches philosophy at the University of Toronto and is one of Canada’s most combative public intellectuals. But when a live TV debate with his fiercest rival goes horribly off the rails, an oblivious Philip says some things to her that he really shouldn’t have. As a clip of Philip’s “slip” goes viral, it soon reveals all the cracks and fissures in his marriage with his young, stay-at-home wife, Grace. And while the two of them try to get on the same side of the situation, things quickly spiral out of control. Can Philip make amends and save his marriage? Is there any hope of salvaging his reputation? To do so, he’ll need to take a hard look at his on-air comments, and to conscript a band of misfits in a scheme to set things right.
Download or read book Silence is a Scary Sound written by Clint Edwards and published by Page Street Publishing. This book was released on 2019-11-05 with total page 201 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I’d gone to college. I’d written for the New York Times. I had a solid credit score. How did I end up here? After his breakout hit book I’m Sorry . . . Love, Your Husband, Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales, this time from the “terrible twos” and “threenager” phases each of his kids went through. His relatable toddler stories leave parents and caregivers cackling, and remind us all that no one is the perfect parent. In fact, sometimes the only thing that gets Clint through the day is thinking about when his kids grow up . . . and all the ways he can finally exact his revenge. Like leaving a leaky sippy cup full of milk to rot under the back seat of his daughter’s car, or waking up at 4 a.m. to incessantly ask his son for a cheese stick. With essays like Locking Doors Is Hilarious Until the Fire Department Arrives, Poop Doesn’t Go Easily Down a Tub Drain, Dad’s Never the Favorite, and Face It—You’ll Never Pee Alone, Clint knows exactly what’s “terrible” about the twos . . . and threes.
Download or read book I M Tired I Need a Nap written by Marie S. Herder and published by WestBow Press. This book was released on 2017-03-27 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is the unpolished view into the life of one little family in the South. The words are an honest reminder as to why some animals eat their young and why all parents pray for sudden lightning or magic fairy dust to render spontaneous combustion possible at least once a day until all their children move away. It is also kept as a meticulous record by one Southern mommaa diary of all the reasons she prays her grandchildren turn out just like her own precious offspring.
Download or read book What I ve Learned written by Christopher T. Heist and published by Outskirts Press. This book was released on 2014-09-26 with total page 790 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What I’ve Learned - An Encyclopedia of Perpetual Bullshit covers topics that affect us every single day, as seen through the eyes of Chris Heist. Just like you, he’s a nobody that wants to be a somebody. So he set out to write this book; losing two jobs, an apartment, and a marriage along the way. In this book you’ll learn how to properly reject etiquette, how to legally stare into your neighbor’s windows, how to properly support suicide, how to make sense out of idiotic laws, how to insult people’s mothers, how to piss off religious people, how to write a screenplay, how to use taboo words without getting your ass kicked, how to play drinking games, how to handle holidays, how to use the bible to avoid paying child support, how to spot a scumbag boss, how to disgust hotel staff, how to behave online, how to deal with addiction, how to properly be patriotic, how to skip high school, how to say impolite things in German, how to choose heroes, and how to enjoy what you have with the time you have to enjoy it. In his small circle of friends, he is both a legend and an asshole. But now, Christopher T. Heist can invade the lives of complete strangers as he shares his twisted perspective of everything he’s been exposed to. And yes, nothing is sacred. As a self-proclaimed actor, activist, poet, porn star, comedian, screenwriter, atheist, author, body-builder, recovered addict, part-time alcoholic, part-time racist, leader, winner, loser, counselor, ex-soldier, runner, bicyclist, laborer, prisoner, freethinker, singer, rapper, boxer, criminal, pimp, victim, street fighter, dirty fighter, dealer, director, graduate, guardian, sucker puncher, lover, photographer, model, artist, father, inventor, slave to the system, and all around survivalist; you may find yourself nodding in agreement to some of the crazy shit he hammers out in this book.
Download or read book The Real Body Manual written by Nancy Redd and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2024-10-22 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A revolutionary health resource for young adults of all genders to understand, appreciate, and take care of their bodies, with color photos throughout How can the savviest and most connected generation in history have no photographic guide to puberty? Until now! The Real Body Manual is a comprehensive health and wellness guidebook for all genders—from the author of the ALA Quick Pick for Reluctant Young Adult Readers and instant New York Times and USA Today bestseller Body Drama. Inspired by her own kids entering the tween and teen years, Nancy Redd has crafted a uniquely inclusive book that offers a factual and candid approach to the complex and often confusing body issues that all young people face. This go-to resource or all types of developing bodies contains medically vetted, relatable advice alongside full-color photographic references. The Real Body Manual is for curious readers from puberty and beyond and is a conversation starter for parents, caregivers, uncles and aunts, older siblings, counselors, teachers, and health professionals—essentially anyone who would like to more fully understand and effectively relate to the body-image and self-discovery challenges faced by the young people in their life. Created with today's open-minded and diverse kids in mind, this book tackles acne, body odor, constipation and diarrhea, chests and breasts, dandruff, sleep hygiene, sexual health, self-care, and so much more in a judgement-free and gender-neutral way. The Real Body Manual is the encouraging book that modern young adults are waiting for—and an eye-opening book their parents are likely to learn from, too!
Download or read book 3 Day Potty Training written by Lora Jensen and published by Lora Jensen. This book was released on 2014-03-04 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 3 Day Potty Training is a fun and easy-to-follow guide for potty training even the most stubborn child just 3 days. Not just for pee and poop but for day and night too! Lora’s method is all about training the child to learn their own body signs. If the parent is having to do all the work, then the child isn’t truly trained, but with Lora’s method your child will learn when their body is telling them that they need to use the potty and they will communicate that need to you.
Download or read book You Don t Look Sick Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis written by AW Cross and published by Glory Box Press. This book was released on 2016-05-27 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You’ve just been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Now what? Being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. In You Don't Look Sick: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving Ulcerative Colitis, author and ulcerative colitis veteran AW Cross gives you a first-hand, non-medical perspective about what to expect from your illness and how to get through it with your sanity (and your favorite underwear) intact. Through a unique blend of practicality and humor, you’ll learn how to: •Cope with the physical consequences and emotional impact of ulcerative colitis •Pack a survival kit and leave your bathroom with confidence •Dress, eat, and have sex •Deal with healthcare professionals and enjoy your stays in the hospital •Endure poop jokes and use social media responsibly •Put on your big boy/girl pants and deal with it Whether you’ve just been diagnosed or struggled with UC for years, if you’re determined not to let your illness define you, this book is for you. If you’d rather wallow in self-pity, have no sense of humor about your illness, and hate kittens and babies, DON’T BUY THIS BOOK!
Download or read book Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2011-10-11 with total page 69 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A light and lively companion to Sorry I Peed on You, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is a hilarious collection of full-color photos and letters of apologies and suggestions from dogs to the people who love them—no matter what bad thing they’ve done! Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.
Download or read book SmotherhoodTM written by Amanda Lamb and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2007-08-01 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A raw, funny, and irreverent collection of stories on parenting in the twenty-first century.
Download or read book Be Prepared written by Gary Greenberg and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-06-16 with total page 239 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An indispensable survival manual for men entering the trenches of fatherhood, Be Prepared is loaded with one-of-a-kind insights, MacGyver-esque tips and tricks, and no-nonsense advice for mastering the first year as a dad. Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to: -Change a baby at a packed sports stadium -Create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear -Stay awake (or at least upright) at work -Babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat -Construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere.
Download or read book Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun written by Elle Cosimano and published by Minotaur Books. This book was released on 2023-01-31 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! From USA Today bestseller and Edgar Award nominee Elle Cosimano, comes Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun—the hilarious and heart-pounding next installment in the beloved Finlay Donovan series. "Fresh, heartfelt and witty, Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun is a twisty page-turner, and its relatable heroine Finlay Donovan is irresistible!" —Janet Evanovich, #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Stephanie Plum series Dating. Diapers. And dodging bullets. Who said single moms can't have fun? Finlay Donovan has been in messes before—after all, she's an author and single mom who’s a pro at getting out bloodstains for rather unexpected reasons—but none quite like this. She and her nanny/partner-in-crime Vero accidentally destroyed a luxury car that they “borrowed” in the process of saving Finlay’s ex-husband. The Russian mob handled her debt, but that means Finlay now owes them. Still running the show from behind bars, mob boss Feliks has a task for Finlay: find a contract killer before the cops do. Problem is, the killer might be an officer. Luckily, hot cop Nick has started up a citizen’s police academy, so Finlay has the perfect cover-up to sleuth out the real criminal as she does some “research” for her new novel. Nick is more than happy to get close to Finlay, but he’s also getting dangerously close to the truth. As Finlay and Vero dodge potential spies and juggle the daily trials of parenting, they can only hope they find the crooked cop before Feliks catches up with them—not to mention revealing Vero’s mysterious past, Nick’s growing interest in Finlay, and the threat of her looming book deadline.
Download or read book Zero to Three written by and published by . This book was released on 2004 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Adult Conversation written by Brandy Ferner and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-05-05 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: April is a thoughtful yet sarcastic mother of two who tries her best to be a caring, connected mom in a middle-class culture where motherhood has become relentless. April rages at modern motherhood’s impossible pressures, her husband’s “Dad privilege,” and her kids’ incessant snack requests. She wants to enjoy motherhood, but her idealist vision and lived experience are in constant conflict with one another. Is she broken—or is motherhood? Desperate for an answer, she seeks out a therapist, and lands with an unexpected woman whose validation and wisdom gives April the clarity to reclaim herself and even start designing clothes—her pre-motherhood passion. But when the ever-elusive babysitter cancels last-minute, April finds herself back at square one. She seeks guidance, but her therapist is now dealing with her own crumbling marriage—and instead of counseling April, she convinces her to speed off to Las Vegas with her to help catch her husband cheating. With a little weed, alcohol, and topless pool hopping, plus a male stripper and some much-needed autonomy, the two find lost pieces of themselves that motherhood swallowed up. But neither one is prepared for how tested—and tempted—they will be, or for the life-altering choices their journey will force them to make. Who is guiding whom anymore?
Download or read book Everyone Poops written by Taro Gomi and published by Chronicle Books LLC. This book was released on 2020-09-01 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The beloved, bestselling potty-training classic, now re-released for a new generation! An elephant makes a big poop. A mouse makes a tiny poop. Everyone eats, so of course: everyone poops! Taro Gomi's classic, go-to picture book for straight-talk on all things "number 2" is back, as fresh and funny as ever. • Both a matter-of-fact, educational guide and a hilarious romp through poop territory • Filled with timeless OMG moments for both kids and adults • Colorful and content-rich picture book The concept of going to the bathroom is made concrete through this illustrated narrative that is both verbally and visually engaging. Everyone Poops is just right for potty-training and everyday reading with smart, curious readers. • Perfect for children ages 0 to 3 years old • Equal parts educational and entertaining, this makes a great book for parents and grandparents who are potty-training their toddler. • You'll love this book if you love books like P is for Potty! (Sesame Street) by Naomi Kleinberg, Potty by Leslie Patricelli, The Potty Train by David Hochman and Ruth Kennison.
Download or read book Oh Crap Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Download or read book Weird Parenting Wins written by Hillary Frank and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2019-01-15 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Unconventional--yet effective--parenting strategies, carefully curated by the creator of the popular podcast The Longest Shortest Time Some of the best parenting advice that Hillary Frank ever received did not come from parenting experts, but from friends and podcast listeners who acted on a whim, often in moments of desperation. These "weird parenting wins" were born of moments when the expert advice wasn't working, and instead of freaking out, these parents had a stroke of genius. For example, there's the dad who pig-snorted in his baby's ear to get her to stop crying, and the mom who made a "flat daddy" out of cardboard and sat it at the dinner table when her kids were missing their deployed military father. Every parent and kid is unique, and as we get to know our kids, we can figure out what makes them tick. Because this is an ongoing process, Weird Parenting Wins covers children of all ages, ranging in topics from "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person" (on hygiene, potty training, and manners) to "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Tell You Things" (because eventually, they're going to be tight-lipped). You may find that someone else's weird parenting win works for you, or you might be inspired to try something new the next time you're stuck in a parenting rut. Or maybe you'll just get a good laugh out of the mom who got her kid to try beets because...it might turn her poop pink.
