Download or read book Don t Bend Over in the Garden Granny You Know Them Taters Got Eyes written by Lewis Grizzard and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1997-08-01 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This time Lewis Grizzard has gone and done it--written a book about sex, as seen through his bespectacled, ironic squint. He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things. "From the Paperback edition.
Download or read book Southern by the Grace of God written by Lewis Grizzard and published by Taylor Trade Publishing. This book was released on 1996 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The incomparable Grizzard shares anecdotes of his beloved homeland. No other contemporary humorist knew the South so well, loved it so passionately, or wrote about it so vividly.
Download or read book Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night written by Lewis Grizzard and published by NewSouth Books. This book was released on 2014-11-03 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of the phenomenal - and hilarious - best-seller Don't Bend over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes is back with an all-new collection of his funniest, sharpest observations yet. In Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night, Grizzard once again confirms his reputation as the "William Faulkner of just plain folks" using colorful storytelling and his own wonderful brand of humor to tackle such Grizzardian subjects as: International Relations: "If John Wayne were still alive, he'd know what to do to the Japanese investors - take a seven iron and run them and their checkbooks back home before it's too late and Vanna White has to learn eight zillion character signs in the Japanese alphabet to keep her job." Fashion: "Don't wear anything that features a picture of a pelican, a pink flamingo or a beer can." The Future: "I'm predicting the world isn't going to come to an end anytime soon. There's too much unresolved, like whether or not Elvis is still alive, Jimmy Swaggart can stay on television, and if there will be another Rambo sequel." Dating: "Any single white female who has to resort to taking out an ad to find a boyfriend would take a SWM who's into yodeling, Hustler magazine, Ripple and robbing convenience stores." Getting Back to Nature: "Snakes are right up there with the things that I fear most. Lightning is on that list. So is flying in bad weather at night, the dentist, and revenge-minded ex-wives." People Who Cheat in the 12-Items-or-Less Express Lane: "Previously, I have dog-cussed these people and put curses on them, like, 'May your children grow up to be liberal Democrats.' I'm not going to be that mean-spirited anymore. What I'm going to do is go to the vegetable bin, grab a large cucumber, and beat them about the head and shoulders with it." Lewis Grizzard offers his views on everything from politics, religion, sex and golf to the largest condom heist in history, proving he is wittier and more outrageous than ever. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night shows why the South's most popular humorist is now America's most popular funny man.
Download or read book Lewis Grizzard on Fear of Flying written by Lewis Grizzard and published by . This book was released on 1989 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This humorous treatment of one of the country's most common neuroses will make the perfect gift for frequent flyers.
Download or read book Elvis Is Dead and I Don t Feel So Good Myself written by Lewis Grizzard and published by NewSouth Books. This book was released on 2011-08-01 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The 1950s were simple times to grow up. For Lewis Grizzard and his buddies, gallivanting meant hanging out at the local store, eating Zagnut candy bars and drinking "Big Orange bellywashers." About the worst thing a kid ever did was smoke rabbit tobacco rolled in paper torn from a brown grocery sack, or maybe slick back his hair into a ducktail and try gyrating his hips like Elvis. But then assassinations, war, civil rights, free love, and drugs rocked the old order. And as they did, Grizzard frequently felt lost and confused. In place of Elvis, the Pied Piper of his generation, Grizzard now found wormy-looking, long-haired English kids who performed either half-naked or dressed like Zasu Pitts. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself is the witty, satiric, nostalgic account of Grizzard's efforts to survive in a changing world. Sex, music, clothes, entertainment, and life itself receive the Grizzard treatment. In this, his sixth book, Grizzard was never funnier or more in tune with his readers. He might not have felt so good himself, but his social commentary and humor can still make the rest of us feel just fine.
Download or read book A is for Salad written by Mike Lester and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2002-01-14 with total page 42 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A is for what? A is for salad, and B is for Viking. Welcome to the wacky world of Mike Lester, where nothing is as it seems. Is A really for salad, or is it for the alligator eating a bowl of mixed greens? And maybe B is for the beaver wearing a Viking helmet. You'll have to look twice to figure out what each letter really stands for in this irreverent alphabet book. Learning your ABCs has never been so much F-U-N. Mike Lester “turns the alphabet picture book on its hoary head . . . the book is hilarious, right down to its view of X and Y: 'not important. Never use them'." US News and World Report
Download or read book The Last Bus to Albuquerque written by Lewis Grizzard and published by Taylor Trade Publishing. This book was released on 1994 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brief appreciations of the late humorist accompany a selection of his most recent newspaper columns.
Download or read book It s Not My Mountain Anymore written by Barbara Taylor Woodall and published by Catch the Spirit of Appalachia. This book was released on 2011-01-15 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author offers first hand accounts of profound experiences and mountain living from cherished memories of a passing era..
Download or read book I Haven t Understood Anything Since 1962 written by Lewis Grizzard and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1997-08-01 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Flying Lessons Other Stories written by Ellen Oh and published by Yearling. This book was released on 2018-08-14 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whether it is basketball dreams, family fiascos, first crushes, or new neighborhoods, this bold short story collection—written by some of the best children’s authors including Kwame Alexander, Meg Medina, Jacqueline Woodson, and many more and published in partnership with We Need Diverse Books—celebrates the uniqueness and universality in all of us. "Will resonate with any kid who's ever felt different—which is to say, every kid." —Time Great stories take flight in this adventurous middle-grade anthology crafted by ten of the most recognizable and diverse authors writing today. Newbery Medalist Kwame Alexander delivers a story in-verse about a boy who just might have magical powers; National Book Award winner Jacqueline Woodson spins a tale of friendship against all odds; and Meg Medina uses wet paint to color in one girl’s world with a short story that inspired her Newbery award-winner Merci Suárez Changes Gear. Plus, seven more bold voices that bring this collection to new heights with tales that challenge, inspire, and celebrate the unique talents within us all. AUTHORS INCLUDE: Kwame Alexander, Kelly J. Baptist, Soman Chainani, Matt de la Peña, Tim Federle, Grace Lin, Meg Medina, Walter Dean Myers, Tim Tingle, Jacqueline Woodson “There’s plenty of magic in this collection to go around.” —Booklist, Starred “A natural for middle school classrooms and libraries.” —Kirkus Reviews, Starred “Inclusive, authentic, and eminently readable.” —School Library Journal, Starred “Thought provoking and wide-ranging . . . should not be missed.”—Publishers Weekly, Starred “Read more books by these authors.” —The Bulletin, Starred
Download or read book The Durket Sperret written by Sarah Barnwell Elliott and published by . This book was released on 1898 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Home Cooking with Trisha Yearwood written by Trisha Yearwood and published by Clarkson Potter. This book was released on 2011-07-27 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Country music star and bestselling cookbook author Trisha Yearwood, host of Food Network’s Trisha’s Southern Kitchen, is back with an encore of recipes that once again share her family traditions and warm home-grown cooking style. In her debut cookbook, Georgia Cooking in an Oklahoma Kitchen, Trisha proved that there’s much more to her than an award-winning country music career, as she welcomed us into her kitchen and served up a feast of flavorful meals and heartwarming personal anecdotes. Now, in Cooking for Family and Friends, Trisha opens her life and her kitchen once more with a trove of recipes from a lifetime of potlucks and colorful gatherings. Trisha has that southern hospitality gene and she’s a big believer that cooking for someone else is an act of love. From breakfasts in bed to hearty casseroles and festive holiday meals, Trisha’s delicious recipes are dedicated to her loved ones, including her husband Garth Brooks (who’s her number one cooking fan and the contributor of a few knockout recipes of his own). Trisha knows how good it feels to bring something to the table. It brings everyone closer together if they’ve had a hand in preparing a meal. These recipes all come with memories attached—of potlucks with good friends, church suppers, family fish fries, and beach picnics, Mother’s Day, and Christmas gatherings. Many are handed down from her mother, her aunts and cousins, or longtime friends, while others are her own contemporary improvisations on classic southern fare. Each one—whether a main dish, a tasty side, or a decadent dessert—comes with a heartwarming story from Trisha’s life that may remind you of some of your own favorite family foods, or inspire you to create new traditions. You don’t have to be a southerner to enjoy Yearwood family specialties such as: • Hot Corn Dip • Cornbread Salad with French Dressing • Baked Bean Casserole • Jambalaya • Pumpkin Roll • Old Fashioned Strawberry Shortcake Plus, Trisha (and her sister and mother) offer up loads of practical advice, on everything from easily icing a cake to cutting a slice of pie, time-saving tips; and ingredient substitutions. With full-color photographs taken at Trisha’s home, this soulful and sincere testament to a southern life well-lived will delight both country music fans and home cooks everywhere.
Download or read book Ulysses written by and published by . This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Textbook Amy Krouse Rosenthal written by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2020-04-14 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling author of Encyclopedia an Ordinary Life returns with a literary experience that is unprecedented, unforgettable, and explosively human. Ten years after her beloved, groundbreaking Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, #1 New York Times bestselling author Amy Krouse Rosenthal delivers a book full of her distinct blend of nonlinear narrative, wistful reflections, and insightful wit. It is a mighty, life-affirming work that sheds light on all the ordinary and extraordinary ways we are connected. Like she did with Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, Amy Krouse Rosenthal ingeniously adapts a standard format—a textbook, this time—to explore life’s lessons and experiences into a funny, wise, and poignant work of art. Not exactly a memoir, not just a collection of observations, Textbook Amy Krouse Rosenthal is a beautiful exploration into the many ways we are connected on this planet and speaks to the awe, bewilderment, and poignancy of being alive. “…a groundbreaking new twist on the traditional literary experience… Textbook is a delightful collection of interesting scenarios that directly point to life lessons. Rosenthal manages to spotlight grand moments and everyday moments with equal curiosity, proving that it can be both a privilege — and petrifying — to peek into one’s humanity.”—Associated Press “Rosenthal is a marvel… a talented storyteller with an experimental flair for formatting… This engaging, playful, and clever glimpse into one woman’s life offers lots of photographs, graphic illustrations, and diagrams, resulting in a book that will make readers smile as their notions of story delivery expand.” —Booklist
Download or read book If Love Were Oil I d be about a Quart Low written by Lewis Grizzard and published by . This book was released on 1986 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Essays take a humorous look at love, marriage, the relationship between men and women, and growing up.
Download or read book Don t Sit Under the Grits Tree with Anyone Else But Me written by Lewis Grizzard and published by Peachtree Junior. This book was released on 1981 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More down-home humor from Lewis Grizzard. Ruminations on lardbutts. bra-padders. Good ol'boys and giggling Yankee girls. The joys of white bread and knowing your way around a 1957 Chevrolet. And lots more from one of America's favorite writers.
Download or read book I Took a Lickin and Kept on Tickin written by Lewis Grizzard and published by . This book was released on 1993 with total page 243 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The humorist discusses his near-death experience--his heart gave out while he was on the operating table undergoing his third triple bypass--and his miraculous recovery
