Download or read book Taking the War Out of Our Words written by Sharon Strand Ellison and published by . This book was released on 2016-12 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whether we are dealing with a rude clerk, our child saying, "That's not fair ," our spouse ignoring us, or an uncooperative co-worker, in our struggle to respond effectively, we often become defensive - sometimes without even realizing it. Despite good intentions, we can become manipulative and controlling, even with those we love most. In this groundbreaking book, Sharon Ellison takes us to the root of our communication problems. She shows us how defensiveness functions in our lives and can lead to hurtful power struggles, outlining the six basic patterns we use: * Self-Betrayal * Avoidance * Excuses * Sabotage * Vindictiveness * Blame Using her Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication process, you can express yourself with a compelling blend of vulnerability and honesty. Learn to: * Ask disarming questions that prompt others to drop their defenses and open up * Give direct feedback to others without being judgmental * Express your own beliefs, feelings, and ideas passionately without being adversarial, so you can be heard and respected * Set firm boundaries that create security and clear expectations. "Taking the War Out of Our Words" provides us with vital tools for healing conflict, enhancing self-esteem, becoming more open and spontaneous, strengthening relationships, transforming organizations, and guiding the way toward peace in our global community.

Download or read book Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage written by John Gottman, PhD and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2007-06-26 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.

Download or read book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail written by John Gottman and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2012-04-12 with total page 236 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Psychologist and top marriage guru John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last - now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen and maintain your long-term relationship. This ground-breaking book will enable you to see where your strengths and weaknesses lie, what specific actions you can take to improve your marriage and how to avoid the damaging patterns that can lead to divorce. It includes: - Practical exercises and techniques that will allow you to understand and make the most of your relationship - Ways to recognise and overcome the attitudes that doom a marriage - Questionnaires that will help you evaluate your relationship - Case studies and anecdotes from real life throughout

Download or read book The Ideal Team Player written by Patrick M. Lencioni and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2016-04-25 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In his classic book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni laid out a groundbreaking approach for tackling the perilous group behaviors that destroy teamwork. Here he turns his focus to the individual, revealing the three indispensable virtues of an ideal team player. In The Ideal Team Player, Lencioni tells the story of Jeff Shanley, a leader desperate to save his uncle’s company by restoring its cultural commitment to teamwork. Jeff must crack the code on the virtues that real team players possess, and then build a culture of hiring and development around those virtues. Beyond the fable, Lencioni presents a practical framework and actionable tools for identifying, hiring, and developing ideal team players. Whether you’re a leader trying to create a culture around teamwork, a staffing professional looking to hire real team players, or a team player wanting to improve yourself, this book will prove to be as useful as it is compelling.

Download or read book Love Cycles Fear Cycles written by David Woodsfellow and published by SelectBooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2018-03-27 with total page 187 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use.

Download or read book Running on Empty written by Jonice Webb and published by Morgan James Publishing. This book was released on 2012-10-01 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A large segment of the population struggles with feelings of being detached from themselves and their loved ones. They feel flawed, and blame themselves. Running on Empty will help them realize that they're suffering not because of something that happened to them in childhood, but because of something that didn't happen. It's the white space in their family picture, the background rather than the foreground. This will be the first self-help book to bring this invisible force to light, educate people about it, and teach them how to overcome it.

Download or read book The Gaslight Effect written by Dr. Robin Stern and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2018-01-09 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from—and how to gasproof your life so you'll avoid gaslighting relationship. Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time. Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back, you wonder if your mother is right and figure that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism. If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. Are you being gaslighted? Check for these telltale signs: 1) Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse? 2) When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world? 3) Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar? 4) Do you have trouble making simple decisions and constantly second guess yourself? 5) Do you frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to your family and friends? 6) Do you feel hopeless and joyless?

Download or read book 10 Ways to Make Sure You Never Stop Being Defensive written by C. Kruse and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-04-19 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you find it difficult working with certain people? Do you find your blood pressure rising during conversations with them? Do some people seem to continually step on a nerve? How do you deal with them? What changes can you alone make that will equip you to be a more steady collaborator? Welcome to 10 Ways To Make Sure You Never Stop Being Defensive. We will discuss the many things about defensiveness and the ways we can overcome it. And, as the title suggests, we will also talk about the ten rules to follow if your goal is to stay defensive forever. Those rules are: 1. Personalize Matters That Aren't Personal. 2. Make All Matters Into Matters Of Worthiness. 3. Look For Offenses In Everything. 4. Assume To Know What Others Are Thinking. 5. Dodge The Blame. 6. Always Speak And Act Before Thinking. 7. Do Not Be Self Aware. 8. Do Not Hear The Message Behind The Words. 9. Always Be Right. 10. Never Take Any Crap From Anyone. Get ready to delve into a subject that is interesting, beneficial and rarely talked about!

Download or read book The Relationship Alphabet written by Zach Brittle and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2015-07-07 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action.

Download or read book Since You Asked written by Cary Tennis and published by Cary Tennis Books, LLC. This book was released on 2008-09 with total page 7 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Composed of his 96 most memorable columns, this outstanding collection is a dramatic testament to the quality of writing and thought of Salon.com’s Cary Tennis. For more than 6 years, Tennis has earned a name for himself as an advice-columnist extraordinaire, addressing issues like sexual rejection, marriage, and suicide with sensitivity and style. Long-term fans will be delighted to find nearly a hundred of their favorite columns—chosen according to their recommendations and gathered into one volume—and new readers will be inspired by the highly literate and passionate responses that Tennis provides for his troubled petitioners.

Download or read book Defensive Design for the Web written by Matthew Linderman and published by New Riders Publishing. This book was released on 2004 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Written by the experts at 37signals, this book shows hundreds of real-world examples from companies like Amazon, Google, and Yahoo that show the right (and wrong) ways to get defensive. Readers will learn 40 guidelines to prevent errors and rescue customers if a breakdown occurs. They'll also explore how to evaluate their own site's defensive design and improve it over the long term.

Download or read book Difficult Conversations written by Douglas Stone and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2023-08-22 with total page 401 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask" We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to: · Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation · Start a conversation without defensiveness · Listen for the meaning of what is not said · Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations · Move from emotion to productive problem solving

Download or read book Pretentiousness written by Dan Fox and published by Coffee House Press. This book was released on 2016-04-05 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pretentiousness is the engine oil of culture; the essential lubricant in the development of all arts, high, low, or middle.

Download or read book Discussing the Undiscussable written by William R. Noonan and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2012-06-12 with total page 295 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since his 1990 landmark book Overcoming Organizational Defenses, Chris Argyris has extensively researched and written about how well-meaning, smart people create vicious cycles of defensive behavior to protect themselves from embarrassment and threat. In Discussing the Undiscussable, Bill Noonan enlivens the scholarly work of Chris Argyris through the use of reflective exercises and easy-to-read chapters that illuminate the basic human experience endemic to the creation of defensive routines. This book offers hope for altering organizational defensive routines by leveraging the greatest opportunity for change—the way we think and act. Discussing the Undiscussable provides a set of practical “how to do” exercises for detecting, surfacing, and discussing organizational defensive routines in a safe and productive way. The combination of text, business fable, and interactive and reflective exercises is versatile in its application to both individuals and groups. The companion DVD contains video vignettes of the book’s business fable where the actors model both defensive routines and virtuous cycles of behavior. Readers will instantly recognize what has long been going on in the workplace, and will be able to develop the skills to talk about it productively.

Download or read book Why Does He Do That written by Lundy Bancroft and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2003-09-02 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

Download or read book A Wizard s Guide to Defensive Baking written by T. Kingfisher and published by . This book was released on 2020-07-21 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance.But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries¿

Download or read book Why We Suffer written by Peter Michaelson and published by . This book was released on 2015-02-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why We Suffer is the amazing story of what mainstream psychology has failed to teach the world. The author, Peter Michaelson, is a former journalist and science writer who has been in private practice as a psychotherapist for more than 25 years. This book reveals how we hide from our awareness--through resistance, denial, and psychological defenses--the existence of a hidden flaw in our psyche. This unconscious, mental-emotional processing dysfunction is a grave danger to each of us personally and to all of us collectively. Through our defense system, we cover up awareness of this inner dysfunction.This flaw in human nature produces irrationality, self-defeat, and negative emotions. It gets the best of us only when we fail to become conscious of it. When we expose it, we begin to remedy the problem. When this flaw no longer contaminates our inner life, we feel, just for starters, our goodness and our value more fully, and we're more respectful of the goodness and value of others.Most of us have problems or challenges we would like to resolve. Collectively, we also have challenging national and worldwide problems that need to be corrected. We may not be up to these challenges if we're not conscious enough of our inner dynamics. Handicapped by a lack of self-knowledge, how can we trust ourselves to avoid conflict and self-defeat? We will fail repeatedly to learn from history.A lot of good ideas are in circulation for making ourselves and the world a better place. But good ideas aren't enough in themselves. This hidden flaw can keep good ideas from being acted on because it compels us, at best, to be indecisive, confused, and prone to dissension. At worst, it produces self-defeat and self-destruction. This negative effect consistently trumps our good ideas and best intentions.This book reveals essential knowledge that humankind has been reluctant to accept. This knowledge involves our hidden, unconscious collusion in producing self-defeating emotions and behaviors. The key to taking charge of our life involves seeing more clearly than ever how our emotional nature is processed within us.