Download or read book Don t Be a Douchebag A Man s Guide to Etiquette written by Matthew James and published by Engage Books. This book was released on 2016-11-01 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What happens when the ultimate man writes the ultimate book? Matthew James doesn't know either. But he is a man, and he did write this book. This masterwork will help you identify the douchebag around you. From hippies, to greaseballs, and traffic cops. Drivers who use the middle finger as if it were a sixth gear. Politicians with inflated expense accounts. Pub-goers who chronically piss onto the floor, instead of into the urinal. Drunk drivers, meter maids, and freeloaders. And men who wear straight brimmed hats, or hang their pants below their ass. If any of these describe you, don't worry, this book will help you right your ways. Don't Be A Douchebag: A Man's Guide to Etiquette is more than just a mere book. It is a tool that can be used to smoothly guide you through life's bumpy journey. The book can teach, it can preach, and it can literally raise your children better than you can, figuratively speaking. A self-proclaimed "real man's" attempt to put the word man back into man, Matthew James has crafted a hilarious, if not irrelevant, book for the modern man. Not for the faint of heart or over-protective mothers, Don't be a Douchebag is an instant classic, sure to entertain from cover to cover.

Download or read book Don t Be a Douchebag written by Cassie Leigh and published by Cassie Leigh. This book was released on with total page 95 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Studying Hours written by Sara Ney and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: CRUDE. ARROGANT. A**HOLE. No doubt about it, Sebastian 'Oz' Osborne is the university's most celebrated student athlete-and possibly the biggest douchebag. A walking, talking cliché, he has a filthy mouth, a fantastic body, and doesn't give a sh*t about what you or anyone else thinks. SMART. CLASSY. CONSERVATIVE. Make no mistake, Jameson Clarke may be the university's most diligent student-but she is no prude. Spending most of her time in the hallowed halls of the library, James is wary of pervs, jocks, and douchebags-and Oz Osborne is all three. She's smart, sarcastic-and not what he expected. EVERY DOUCHBAG HAS HIS WEAKNESS. He wants to be friends. He wants to spend time with her. He wants to drive her crazy. He wants... Her.

Download or read book The Douchebag Bible written by T. J. Kirk and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2013-06-12 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Douchebag Bible' is comprehensive anthology of all three major books published by controversial YouTube star, The Amazing Atheist (AKA TJ Kirk): 'Scumbag: Musings of a Subhuman (abridged)', 'In Defense of Evil: Why Good is Bad and Bad Is Good, ' and 'Neckbeard Uprising.

Download or read book The Failing Hours written by Sara Ney and published by . This book was released on 2017-01-25 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zeke Daniels isn't just a douchebag; he's an asshole. A total and complete jerk, Zeke keeps people at a distance. He has no interest in relationships-most assholes don't. Dating? Being part of a couple? Nope. Not for him. He's never given any thought to what he wants in a girlfriend, because he's never had any intention of having one. Shit, he barely has a relationship with his family, and they're related; his own friends don't even like him. So why does he keep thinking about Violet DeLuca? Sweet, quiet Violet-his opposite in every sense of the word. The light to his dark, even her damn name sounds like rays of sunshine and happiness and shit. And that pisses him off, too.

Download or read book Don t be a Douchebag written by Matthew James and published by . This book was released on 2016 with total page 181 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book If God Is Love Don t Be a Jerk written by John Pavlovitz and published by Westminster John Knox Press. This book was released on 2021-09-28 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thou Shalt Not Be Horrible. Imagine for a moment what the world might look like if we as people of faith, morality, and conscience actually aspired to this mantra. What if we were fully burdened to create a world that was more loving and equitable than when we arrived? What if we invited one another to share in wide-open, fearless, spiritual communities truly marked by compassion and interdependence? What if we daily challenged ourselves to live a faith that simply made us better humans? John Pavlovitz explores how we can embody this kinder kind of spirituality where we humbly examine our belief system to understand how it might compel us to act in less-than-loving ways toward others. This simple phrase, "Thou Shalt Not Be Horrible," could help us practice what we preach by creating a world where: spiritual community provides a sense of belonging where all people are received as we are; the most important question we ask of a religious belief is not Is it true? but rather, is it helpful? it is morally impossible to pledge complete allegiance to both Jesus and America simultaneously; the way we treat others is the most tangible and meaningful expression of our belief system. In If God Is Love, Don't Be a Jerk, John Pavlovitz examines the bedrock ideas of our religion: the existence of hell, the utility of prayer, the way we treat LGBTQ people, the value of anger, and other doctrines to help all of us take a good, honest look at how the beliefs we hold can shape our relationships with God and our fellow humans—and to make sure that love has the last, loudest word.

Download or read book Robin Batman 2021 2 written by Jeff Lemire and published by DC Comics. This book was released on 2021-12-14 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dick Grayson is struggling in his training to be Robin, and the Batman decides the young man needs a break…and takes him to meet the Justice League! In an awe-inspiring moment, he meets the World’s Greatest Heroes…and their sidekicks! Will these teen titans get along?

Download or read book Don t Be a Douchebag written by Glenn Whitehead and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2015-01-19 with total page 284 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I've been in the truck, fighting the traffic for about 75 minutes, and I'm now about 3 miles from the house. I've been sitting at the light, in the left turn lane for 7 or 8 minutes, watching it run through the cycle about 4 times; now I'm only 3 cars away. OK, green arrow, let's move. 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi; SON-OF-A-BITCH! I'm going to have to sit through another cycle because only 2 cars made it that time. Excuse me ass crack, would you mind extracting your head from your anal cavity and getting the fuck out of the way?" "Am I the only one who's on the verge of a stroke from putting up with our ignorant, narcissistic fellow human beings? This is why, even though I'm a strong proponent of the second amendment, I'll never carry a gun in my truck. By the time I get home from work every day, I feel it would be perfectly acceptable to fire a warning shot through one of these asshole's windows." What the hell are we doing? We've turned our country over to the lowest link of the food chain, and I've had an ass full of it. As I vent my frustrations with these morons, on a daily basis, my wife asks me: "Do you really think you're smarter than everyone else?" It pisses me off to even have to answer that question. Is it not obvious as hell that, of course I'm smarter than these miserable douchebags? This book is my call to arms. It's time we stopped tolerating these turds and began the process of exposing and publicly shaming them. So join me in forcing these self centered pricks to begin the twelve steps of Douchebags Anonymous. Our message should be loud and clear: DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG!

Download or read book The Learning Hours written by Sara Ney and published by . This book was released on 2017-07-19 with total page 391 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: MY FRIENDS WANT ME TO GET LAID. So much so that they plastered my ugly mug all over campus, in bold printed letters: Are you the lucky lady who's going to break our roommate's cherry? Him: socially awkward man with average-sized penis looking for willing sexual partner... The morons can't even spell. And the texts I've been receiving are what wet dreams are made of. But I'm not like these douchebags, no matter how hard they try to turn me into one. THIS ISN'T THE KIND OF ATTENTION I WANT. One text stands out from hundreds. One number I can't bring myself to block. She seems different. Hotter, even in black and white. However, after seeing her in person, I know she's not the girl for me. But my friends won't let up-they just don't get it. Douchebags or not, there's one thing they'll never understand: GIRLS DON'T WANT ME. Especially her.

Download or read book The Quotable Douchebag written by and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2014-12-30 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did he really just say that?!? Douchebags have a gift for speaking the unspeakable. Vain, arrogant, brash, and clueless, they’re the worst the male species has to offer—and now their most outlandish statements have been compiled into a single volume. The Quotable Douchebag features dozens of boneheaded and tasteless remarks from actors, musicians, athletes, and politicians, including: David Hasselhoff: “There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.” Gene Simmons: “[I] don’t believe there’s any difference between a monogamous and a polygamous relationship. Those are all just big words, like gymnasium.” Sean Hannity: “I’ll tell you who should be tortured and killed at Guantanamo: every filthy Democrat in the U.S. Congress.” And many, many more.

Download or read book Hot Chicks with Douchebags written by Jay Louis and published by Gallery Books. This book was released on 2008-07-08 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Greasy foreheads. Spiky frosted hair. Oiled-up faces dripping with Tag Body Shot spray. Armani Exchange T-shirts and rank cologne wafting off their backs like fetid pollen clouds as they pump their fists and attempt to grind into any hotties nearby. Young beauties oblivious to the hulking monstrosity clutching at their butts like snapping turtles on Red Bull. From sea to douchey sea, ours is a culture plagued by this festering blight. By the dark forces of über-douchebaggery. How did this happen? What can we do to confront the douchebag/hottie plague that rots our collective souls like boils sent by a wrathful and angry God? And how can you recover if you or your loved one is 'bag? Now, for the first time, there is an answer to those questions that haunt our collective will and sap our culture of any claim to societal advance: Why hottie/douchebaggery? Why now? And why are douche-faces so silly? In this book we dissect, analyze, contemplate and mock the rank douchescrotes that pollute our country's hottie supply on a daily basis. Every branch of the douche-tree will be examined. Every corner of our cultural rot will be exposed. And if we can lust after their hotties along the way, then all the better.

Download or read book The Coaching Hours written by Sara Ney and published by Three Legacies, LLC. This book was released on 2018-01-21 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THERE ARE NO DOUCHEBAGS IN THIS STORY. Well, there are, but they're not who this story is about. This story is about me-the coach's daughter. When I moved to Iowa to live with my dad, the university's take-no-prisoners wrestling coach, I thought transferring would be easy as pie-living with my father would be temporary, and he'd make sure his douchebag wrestlers left me alone. Wrong on both counts. ASSHOLES ALWAYS COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK WHEN THE STAKES ARE HIGH. A bet is placed, and I'm on the table. After one humiliating night and too much alcohol, I find the last nice guy on campus. And when he offers to rent me his spare bedroom, I go all in. It's time for the nice guy to finish first. Midnight chats and spilling my problems turn to lingering touches. Lingering touches turn to more. And the ultimate good guy has the potential do more damage than any douchebags ever could.

Download or read book The Lying Hours written by Ney and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-05-08 with total page 330 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ABRAHAM DAVIS-Honest Abe to his friends-IS IN OVER HIS HEAD...He's a fixer and a do good-er. The all-knowing, resident "grandfather" on the wrestling team who everyone relies on to fix their problems. His teammates go to him for everything; advice, homework, or when they need a sober driver at three in the morning--whether he likes it or not.Abe's current mission is easy: mend his roommates broken heart by helping him find a girlfriend on the LoveU app--without getting caught in the lie...SKYLAR GABRIEL. IS. OVER. IT.Over her bad grades. And over dating douchebags. What she wants to know is: where have all the nice guys gone?She longs for a handsome, sweet, and honest guy who can make her laugh. In one last ditch effort to prove that he exists-Skylar turns to LoveU. On her worst day, Skylar has no filter (it's a miracle she hasn't been ditched mid-date).On her best, she's as wholesome, and sweet, as pie.On Thursday? She matches with Abraham Davis's roommate. Skylar Gabriel is falling for the wrong guy-she just doesn't realize it yet.Why?BECAUSE ABE DAVIS IS A LIAR.

Download or read book Surviving the Douchebag Apocalypse written by Edward Carboni and published by Outskirts Press. This book was released on 2014-04-03 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever tried to be a decent person; tried to understand, be sympathetic or helpful, but the more you did, the more it seemed you were getting sucked into a wormhole of worsening bullshit, twisted truths and half lies and couldn't understand why people would be that way, or what to do about it...then here's your playbook. "With laser-guided precision and the brilliant light of truth, Carboni pierces the bullseye." "This tight, efficient volume reassures readers that we are not alone in the world of the self-absorbed and shallow--those who suck the energy from a room and drive others to prescription medications." "Carboni galvanizes the rawness of Hunter S. Thompson, the wry wit of Bill Bryson, the strategy of Niccolo Machiavelli and the insight of Ayn Rand in this comedic, vernacular tirade." "The language is barstool authentic, but the message is anything but pedestrian."

Download or read book Douchebag Wisdom written by Lima Bravo and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-11-07 with total page 318 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is about Donald Trump: the incompetent, vicious, and vile Donald Trump. But it's more than that. This book is about your reaction to Donald Trump. If you're one of the 65 million people who voted for Hillary, I hope this book will help you cope with the stress, negativity, depression and rage; a little douchebag wisdom can get you through. Laughter helps. If you're one of the 62 million who voted for Trump but are now disillusioned or angry, read on. Hopefully, this book will give us all talking points and new perspectives because this planet and the people need healing! If you're one of the 92 million people who didn't vote in the 2016 presidential election, WAKE-UP! The world needs you! Trump is implementing policies that affect every part of our lives. We'll be feeling the repercussions for years. YOU will determine who wins the 2018 mid-term elections as well as the White House in 2020. May these words inspire you to speak-up and be counted. Vote! Whether Trump is the hero or villain in your Hollywood story, for all of us, my hope is to foster a dialogue. Let's explore the comedy and tragedy of Donald Trump, his Administration, the Congress, and their policies as told through movie villains: Trumpzilla, TrumpFace, Trumpenstein, DarthTrump, the Grand Nagus, King Dong, the Grinch, Scrooge and others. You're not crazy! We're all feeling it-the Trump Effect. It'll take a bit of twisty logic, but we are not helpless or hopeless; we are Americans! It's time to get informed and get involved. It's time to spread the love and the light. We need a grassroots effort to make this a kinder, gentler world and that starts with each of us. Pick a chapter, pick a movie, pick an issue, pick a friend, and let the healing begin. Let Douchebag Wisdom guide you. And, for the love of the planet, get out and vote!

Download or read book Donald Trump Is a Douchebag written by Michael K. Watson and published by . This book was released on 2017-03-04 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An exhaustive profile of Donald Trump's character