Download or read book Don t Bathe With Uncle Joe written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-01-11 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Uncle Joe got fired at work He said because his boss is a jerk Uncle Joe has allegations Mom and dad have reservations Uncle Joe is staying here Uncle Joe might offer you beer Careful not to take a sip Roofies are what he might slip Uncle Joe likes having baths Uncle Joe might touch your ass Keep your distance from his hands Even when he makes demands When in doubt you can just say no And never bathe with Uncle Joe

Download or read book Conjoined Twins written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-03-08 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If one commits a crime do they both go to jail? What if one is dates a male and the other dates a female? How many seats do they buy on a plane? Can they read the thoughts in one another's brain? With eight limbs are they an octopus by definition? At the movies do they pay 2 admissions? If they share a butt who decides when to Poo? If one of them dies does the other die too? If one gets pregnant are they both the kid's mom? Will they ever find two dates for the prom? What If one gets into college and the other does not? What happens if just one wants to tie the knot? Do they need one passport or two? If one wants to have sex what does the other one do? Do they both get paralyzed if they share the same spine? Do they both get drunk if just one drinks wine?

Download or read book We Have Always Lived in the Castle written by Shirley Jackson and published by . This book was released on 1962 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We Have Always Lived in the Castle is a deliciously unsettling novel about a perverse, isolated, and possibly murderous family and the struggle that ensues when a cousin arrives at their estate.

Download or read book Inside Out Back Again written by Thanhha Lai and published by Univ. of Queensland Press. This book was released on 2013-03-01 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Moving to America turns H&à's life inside out. For all the 10 years of her life, H&à has only known Saigon: the thrills of its markets, the joy of its traditions, the warmth of her friends close by, and the beauty of her very own papaya tree. But now the Vietnam War has reached her home. H&à and her family are forced to flee as Saigon falls, and they board a ship headed toward hope. In America, H&à discovers the foreign world of Alabama: the coldness of its strangers, the dullness of its food, the strange shape of its landscape, and the strength of her very own family. This is the moving story of one girl's year of change, dreams, grief, and healing as she journeys from one country to another, one life to the next.

Download or read book Humpty Dumpty written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-29 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humpty Dumpty started a new job. Humpty Dumpty shows co- workers his knob. He makes jokes about sexual orientation. And emailed a co-worker with the subject: "Oral Fixation". He doesn't understand inappropriate touch. His secret Santa gifts are way too much. He's always suggesting awkward things. And gives people nicknames that really sting. He forwards emails that always offend. Always demanding Hugs that never seem to end. He makes offensive stereotypes when it comes to gender. When he gets in trouble he says he "didn't mean to offend her". His workplace activities are sexually inspired. And That's why Humpty Dumpty always gets fired.

Download or read book Code Talker written by Joseph Bruchac and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-07-06 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Readers who choose the book for the attraction of Navajo code talking and the heat of battle will come away with more than they ever expected to find."—Booklist, starred review Throughout World War II, in the conflict fought against Japan, Navajo code talkers were a crucial part of the U.S. effort, sending messages back and forth in an unbreakable code that used their native language. They braved some of the heaviest fighting of the war, and with their code, they saved countless American lives. Yet their story remained classified for more than twenty years. But now Joseph Bruchac brings their stories to life for young adults through the riveting fictional tale of Ned Begay, a sixteen-year-old Navajo boy who becomes a code talker. His grueling journey is eye-opening and inspiring. This deeply affecting novel honors all of those young men, like Ned, who dared to serve, and it honors the culture and language of the Navajo Indians. An ALA Best Book for Young Adults "Nonsensational and accurate, Bruchac's tale is quietly inspiring..."—School Library Journal

Download or read book Flipped written by Wendelin Van Draanen and published by Ember. This book was released on 2003-05-13 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

Download or read book Camel Tony written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2021-04-03 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Camel Tony loves sandwiches with roast beef. Camel Tony Doesn't mind if you queef. He sits at the back of your yoga class. When you're in downward dog, he looks at your ass. Camel Tony likes to visit the beach. And he loves everything flavoured with peach. He'll pick up tampons when he shops. Wherever he goes, he brings a bucket and a mop. Camel Tony loves to eat lima beans. And he doesn't care if your vagina's clean. Camel Tony has a cute little Beagle. Camel Tony can teach you how to kegel. Camel Tony loves eating pie. And he never leaves a good woman dry. Camel Tony hangs out in coffee shops. Camel Tony loves to munch box. Camel Tony enjoys taking flowers. Camel Tony doesn't care if you shower. Camel Tony will always pet your kitty. But he won't pay any attention to your titties.

Download or read book Donkeybear written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-02-06 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sometimes your mom is something more. She may be your cousin which means therefore. You're inbred because your parents related. A brother and sister who shouldn't have mated. Billy-Bob was born from siblings who fucked. Cindy-Lou's parents, cousins of bad conduct. Skeeter's mom was also his granny. Mary Grace was birthed from her dad's sisters fanny. You're gonna be okay because you were mixed. A donkey and bear, it started with a kiss. Inbreeding began with kings and with queens. Trying to protect the purity of their genes

Download or read book Daddy Drinks written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2019-07 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For mature audiences only. Not for the easily offended! A hilarious look at children's books. I've designed book covers for 100 kids books that should never be published. With great titles like: Mom Can't Afford Car Payments, Dad Lost the House, Daddy's Moving Away, Daddy Committed Wire Fraud, Jesus Needs Mommy in Heaven, Mommy Killed Herself, How Daddy Got an STD, Why Daddy Hits Mommy, Mommy Turns Tricks, Don't Trust the Clown on 5th, My Dad the Junkie, Your Art Sucks, No Dinner Tonight, I'm Not Your Father, Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe, Don't Start Fires, Billy Starts a Pile-Up, Sleep Time for Mr. Mittens, Three Little Pigs Become Bacon, Don't Interrupt Group, Capital Punishment, Mom Joined an MLM, Kid Detective, Mom, Dad, Sarah and Don, Mom's Essential Oil's, My Parents and Siblings, Your Life Is a Lie and many more. The covers illustrated in in this book are a light hearted look at a difficult childhood. Try not to find yourself triggered by the one or two things that you decide are offensive. I can't be funny if I have to worry about you.

Download or read book Bond and Free written by Grace Lintner and published by . This book was released on 1882 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Padgett s My Name written by Davenport Padgett and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2008-11-18 with total page 549 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The life of Davenport Padgett spanned part of the 19th century and most of the twentieth. His almost-photographic memory goes back to 1898 when he was four and saw his first train. Beginning with this first memory, he tells the reader story after story that reveal a remarkable man who loved life, appreciated people, and enjoyed every day. He said he lived his life as his father taught him: to treat every man as his brother and every woman as his sister. He also said he believed that people were good if you'd let them be and that love is the most important thing in the world.

Download or read book Under the Eagle written by Samuel Holiday and published by University of Oklahoma Press. This book was released on 2013-08-13 with total page 281 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Samuel Holiday was one of a small group of Navajo men enlisted by the Marine Corps during World War II to use their native language to transmit secret communications on the battlefield. Based on extensive interviews with Robert S. McPherson, Under the Eagle is Holiday’s vivid account of his own story. It is the only book-length oral history of a Navajo code talker in which the narrator relates his experiences in his own voice and words. Under the Eagle carries the reader from Holiday’s childhood years in rural Monument Valley, Utah, into the world of the United States’s Pacific campaign against Japan—to such places as Kwajalein, Saipan, Tinian, and Iwo Jima. Central to Holiday’s story is his Navajo worldview, which shapes how he views his upbringing in Utah, his time at an Indian boarding school, and his experiences during World War II. Holiday’s story, coupled with historical and cultural commentary by McPherson, shows how traditional Navajo practices gave strength and healing to soldiers facing danger and hardship and to veterans during their difficult readjustment to life after the war. The Navajo code talkers have become famous in recent years through books and movies that have dramatized their remarkable story. Their wartime achievements are also a source of national pride for the Navajos. And yet, as McPherson explains, Holiday’s own experience was “as much mental and spiritual as it was physical.” This decorated marine served “under the eagle” not only as a soldier but also as a Navajo man deeply aware of his cultural obligations.

Download or read book Memory Making Mom written by Jessica Smartt and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 238 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What will your children remember of their childhood? Calling all moms who want to break out of monotony, distraction, and busyness to a life of making lasting memories with your kids and drawing your family closer to one another and to God! What’s the solution to gaining the balanced, meaningful life you desire with your family? Create traditions that bring joy and significance! Popular "Smartter Each Day" blogger and mom of three, Jessica Smartt explains why memory-making is the puzzle piece that today’s families are longing for. As Jessica shares her ideas, traditions, and beautiful insights on parenting in this well-written resource guide, she highlights the tradition-gifts kids need most with 300+ unique traditions including: Food: memories that stick to your ribs Holidays: fall bucket lists, crooked Christmas trees, and lingering over Lent Spontaneity: going on adventures Faith: why you need the puzzle box Memory-Making Mom is jam-packed with her own favorite childhood traditions, those she has started with her own children, traditions tied to the Christian faith, and additional ideas that you can take and tailor to suit your needs. Jessica also offers spiritual guidance and practical encouragement to modern parents to keep on adventuring—even when they are fighting distractions, are on a budget, and exhausted.

Download or read book Race Wars written by Brad Gosse and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2021-04-23 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Today is the day of the very big race. White car, black car and yellow car too. Who will win the race wars? If you only knew.

Download or read book Candy Man Van written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-09-08 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When we think of strangers we picture a van. Sometimes we picture a dirty old man. Sometimes there's candy. Sometimes there's a clown. Sometimes your mom's sick. In a hospital downtown. Strangers don't always appear to be strange. They don"t always look like the peeps on this page. The scariest strangers still offer you candy. But they don't look at all like sex offender randy. Pimps are strangers that aren't very funny. Leprechauns lure you with gold and with money. Creepy is the bee keeper who offers you honey. But whatever happens. Don't trust the easter bunny.

Download or read book OK Boomer written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-02-13 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Boomer always complains at the store. When yesterday's special isn't available anymore. Boomer gives unsolicited advice. Boomer always struggles with his device. Boomer demands your supervisor. And never orders the appetizer. Boomer travels all the time. And still maintains a landline. Boomer denies climate change. And always goes to the driving range. Boomer maintains a perfect lawn. To help forget the children have gone. Boomer unknowingly makes racial slurs. And doesn't believe in entrepreneurs. Boomer wants to tell you she's broke. And recognizes the signs of a stroke. Boomer still reads the morning paper. And protests against new skyscrapers. Boomer always trims his hedges. Against black people, she always alleges