Download or read book Dirty Jokes and Beer written by Drew Carey and published by Hyperion. This book was released on 1997-09-17 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The star of ABC-TV's hit comedy The Drew Carey Show presents a collection of vignettes based on the people and places he encountered on the way to fame and speaks back to his show's critics.
Download or read book Dirty Jokes and Beer written by Drew Carey and published by Hyperion. This book was released on 1998-09-01 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The enigmatic star of the hugely popular Drew Carey Show divulges the secrets of his rise to stardom and his life as a standup comedian in the audiobook versionof Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined. Despite the title's promise, this isn't just three hours of filth and debauchery--well, not quite. Carey also shares an unexpected admission about being molested as a child, a surprisingly serious and moving moment. This solemnity, however, is a brief respite from almost three hours of bawdy humor--fables of all things dirty and odes to everything politically incorrect. Carey's jokes are nothing new or original, but he doesn't profess them to be. These are characterizations of people he has met throughout his life: grotesque slobs, cheap hookers, and lousy drunks. They're not exactly inspirational characters, but Carey manages to see--and relate--their funny sides. Carey borrows his jokes from barroom culture, leaving them raw and uncensored. Listening to the tape, you can almost smell the stale tobacco and taste the draft beer. Some listeners will delight in Carey's anecdotes about anatomically astonishing penises and his other jokes, while others may feel slightly nauseated. Dirty Jokes and Beer leaves little middle ground; you'll either love it or rip your headphones off in disgust.
Download or read book Dirty Jokes and Beer written by Drew Carey and published by . This book was released on 1998 with total page 277 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We all know Drew Carey from his award-winning stand-up career and his hit television show, but do we really know Drew Carey, the person? In his first book, the bawdy and irreverent DIRTY JOKES AND BEER: STORIES OF THE UNREFINED, find out about all the many sides to this misunderstood Hollywood star.The Health-Conscious Drew:THEY SAY THAT EXERCISE AND PROPER DIET ARE THE KEYS TO A LONGER HEALTHIER LIFE. OH WELL... WATCH FOR MY NEXT BOOK, HOW I DIED WHILE JOGGING.Drew the Lover:I READ FROM "FORUM" LETTERS IN PENTHOUSE THINKING THAT I COULD LEARN FROM THEM. I REMEMBER THINKING SOMETIMES WHEN I WAS HAVING SEX, "LET'S SEE NOW. HOW DID 'SURPRISED IN CINCINNATI' DO IT?"... IF A PLAYBOY PLAYMATE SAID IN HER QUESTIONNAIRE THAT SHE LIKE A GUY IN TIGHT PANTS, I WOULD GO OUT AND BUY SOME TIGHT PANTS. IF SHE SAID SHE LIKE WELL-ENDOWED MEN WITH BIG MUSCLES AND HAIRY CHESTS, I WOULD CRY.And Drew's formula that took him from a lonely teenager to a successful mega-star:...AVOID CHEAP COLOGNE AND CHEESY BIKINI UNDERWEAR. DON'T EXPECT SEX ON THE FIRST DATE, AND NEVER PAY MORE THAN TWENTY DOLLARS FOR A LAP DANCE.Plus there's a "secret chapter" with punch lines like these: IT HAS CASTERS. IT VVOTES. HENRY AARON USED IT TO HIT HIS 750TH HOME RUN.We've let Drew Carey write this book entirely by himself, without the aid of a professional ghostwriter, even though Drew has never written a book before and was kicked out of college twice.
Download or read book The Facts of Life written by Willie Nelson and published by Random House. This book was released on 2009-03-12 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you had to give America a voice, it’s been said more than once, that voice would be Willie Nelson’s. For more than fifty years, he’s taken the stuff of his life-the good and the bad-and made from it a body of work that has become a permanent part of our musical heritage and kept us company through the good and the bad of our own lives. Long before he became famous as a performer, Willie Nelson was known as a songwriter, keeping his young family afloat by writing songs-like “Crazy”-that other people turned into hits. So it’s fitting, and cause for celebration, that he has finally set down in his own words, a book that does justice to his great gifts as a storyteller. In The Facts of Life, Willie Nelson reflects on what has mattered to him in life and what hasn’t. He also tells some great dirty jokes. The result is a book as wise and hilarious as its author. It’s not meant to be taken seriously as an instruction manual for living-but you could do a lot worse.
Download or read book Beach Read written by Emily Henry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-05-25 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER FROM THE #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION! "Original, sparkling bright, and layered with feeling."--Sally Thorne, author of The Hating Game A romance writer who no longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in a rut engage in a summer-long challenge that may just upend everything they believe about happily ever afters. Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast. They're polar opposites. In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block. Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.
Download or read book The Ginormous Book of Dirty Jokes written by Rudy A. Swale and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-05-28 with total page 432 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, BADASSEST BOOK OF LEWD, CRUDE AND FUNNY-AS-$#!+ JOKES •What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? We do taste like chicken! •What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles. •The journalist asked the politician, “Your assistant said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you like to comment? “Yes, I would,” said the politician. “The truth is my assistant has a big mouth.” •A guy walks in on his wife having sex with another man and says, “what the hell are you two doing?” His wife turns to her lover and says, “I told you he was stupid.” •How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy. If you think no joke is too raw as long as it’s funny—this is the book for you! This massive collection of laugh-out-loud and totally politically incorrect jokes is sure to have you and your friends rolling in hysterics.
Download or read book 100 Dirty Jokes written by L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club and published by . This book was released on 2016-07-30 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny & Uncensored Dirty Jokes for Adults! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! 100+ funny dirty jokes for adults Silly and hilarious jokes, comedy, and humor Lots of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of dirty jokes for adults you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Dirty Jokes for Adults! Sex jokes Blonde jokes Divorce jokes Men and Women jokes Private parts jokes 100+ funny and hilarious dirty jokes! The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!
Download or read book The Little Book of Dirty Jokes written by Sid Finch and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2015-11-12 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! Filled with more filth than three-week old underwear, this little collection of obscene one-liners, smutty shenanigans and graphic gags will have you blushing like a freshly spanked bottom and sniggering like a naughty school kid.
Download or read book Drew Carey written by Ann Graham Gaines and published by Facts On File. This book was released on 1999 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A biography of the man who founded Wendy's, one of the nation's largest restaurant chains.
Download or read book The Twits written by Roald Dahl and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2007-08-16 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The BFG! Mr. and Mrs. Twit are the smelliest, nastiest, ugliest people in the world. They hate everything—except playing mean jokes on each other, catching innocent birds to put in their Bird Pies, and making their caged monkeys, the Muggle-Wumps, stand on their heads all day. But the Muggle-Wumps have had enough. They don't just want out, they want revenge.
Download or read book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks written by G. Patrick Vennebush and published by Robert Reed Publishers. This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Professor and Mathemagician, Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA --
Download or read book Recipes Every Man Should Know written by Susan Russo and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-05-18 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Make some real man food with this handy pocket-sized reference. We’re mixing bacon with brownies! We’re pouring beer into chili! We’re stirring up tomato gravy so thick and tasty, we refuse to call it sauce! This easy pocket-sized companion shows you how to make all the food a man can’t live without, including: · Hearty Breakfast Classics · Sandwiches, Burgers, and Snacks · Meat and Potato Dinners · Beer, Bacon, and Bar Food · Chocolate, Cheesecake, and More Plus a quick, no-frills guide to culinary rules and tools. We break it all down so you can cook like a master!
Download or read book Subpar Parks written by Amber Share and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-07-13 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: **A New York Times Bestseller!** Based on the wildly popular Instagram account, Subpar Parks features both the greatest hits and brand-new content, all celebrating the incredible beauty and variety of America’s national parks juxtaposed with the clueless and hilarious one-star reviews posted by visitors. Subpar Parks, both on the popular Instagram page and in this humorous, informative, and collectible book, combines two things that seem like they might not work together yet somehow harmonize perfectly: beautiful illustrations and informative, amusing text celebrating each national park paired with the one-star reviews disappointed tourists have left online. Millions of visitors each year enjoy Glacier National Park, but for one visitor, it was simply "Too cold for me!" Another saw the mind-boggling vistas of Bryce Canyon as "Too spiky!" Never mind the person who visited the thermal pools at Yellowstone National Park and left thinking, “Save yourself some money, boil some water at home.” Featuring more than 50 percent new material, the book will include more depth and insight into the most popular parks, such as Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and Acadia National Parks; anecdotes and tips from rangers; and much more about author Amber Share's personal love and connection to the outdoors. Equal parts humor and love for the national parks and the great outdoors, it's the perfect gift for anyone who loves to spend time outside as well as have a good read (and laugh) once they come indoors.
Download or read book Don t Stand Too Close to a Naked Man written by Tim Allen and published by Hyperion. This book was released on 1995-09-01 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a dual biography and humorous information guide, the star of Home Improvement discusses his prison term and successful television show while offering hints on how to deal with the opposite sex and recognize the parallels between golf courses and strip joints. Reprint.
Download or read book Jackie The Joke Man Martling s Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book written by Jackie Martling and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 1998-10-07 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The head writer for The Howard Stern Show lives "down" to his raunchy reputation with this hilarious collection of the very best jokes, stories, songs, and one-liners-from the naughty to the irreverent to the politically incorrect. Here are the gems from the private files from the man infamous for knowing every joke there ever was. In comedy clubs from coast to coast since 1979, “The Joke Man” has dared audiences to start a joke he couldn’t finish. Now he takes no prisoners, spares no ethnic or social group, and exhibits not one ounce of good taste in this wildly offensive, outrageously funny collection of dirty jokes.
Download or read book New Dirty Funny Sexy Witty One Liner Jokes written by Lazaro Droznes and published by . This book was released on 2019-07-02 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fourth volume of the series of books with the best dirty one-liner jokes. Potent. Pungent. Insolent. Prepotent. Indecent. Imprudent. Impertinent. Sometimes impotent. After the success of the first three volumes, this fourth book comes out with brand new dirty one liners to practice oral sex at home or at the office.Women love men with a sense of humor. The life of the party is the man who cracks the right word in the right moment. The problem is: Where are the good lines when you need them? They are here. The best one liners to show off in public and in private: Dirty jokesSexy jokesWitticismsFunny quotesRiddlesWisecracksFeminist jokesLove jokesSexist jokes.Bad jokesFunny proverbs All the one liners are related to sex, women and love relationships. The lines everybody wants to listen. Take the lines you ́ll need to become the life of the party with you in your Kindle, cellphone or tablet.Dating will never be the same. In the parties everybody will flock around eager not to miss your lines.Download this book and start dazzling women and friends! TAGSjokes, funny jokes, knock knock jokes, dirty jokes, jokes for kids, funnyjunk, yo mama jokes, corny jokes, kids jokes, adult jokes, joke of the day, santa banta jokes, jew jokes, best jokes, bad jokes, good jokes, black jokes, dead baby jokes, hilarious jokes, funny sayings, stupid jokes, jokes in English, christmas jokes, blonde jokes, funny jokes for kids, your mama jokes, joks, really funny jokes, mexican jokes, short jokes, funny one liners, one liners, jokes for adults, jokes video, one liner jokes, english jokes, yo momma jokes, funny short jokes, april fool jokes, comedy jokes, funny joks, funny kid jokes, math jokes
Download or read book Practical Jokes Funny Pranks and Dirty Rotten Tricks written by R. G. Grover and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2013-11 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: These are mostly true tales of me wreaking havoc on those around me for the amusement of myself and others. I started as a preschooler getting into mischief out of pure boredom, usually at school. It continued through grade school, junior high, high school, the military, college, my first job . . .My very first booby trap was balancing a teddy bear on top of my slightly open bedroom door to fall on the head of anyone who entered. I only wish that I hadn't forgotten something and ran back in there . . . and I REALLY wished that I hadn't use the heavy teddy bear with the really hard music box . . . I was probably three years old.My second booby trap, and the most infamous within our family, utilized a battery-powered, motorized, futuristic toy assault vehicle. It was silver, sleek, aerodynamic, made of metal and had sharp edges and bright lead-based paint. It had six giant wheels with knobby tires. The body would pivot 180 degrees while rolling in one direction and the side-gunner's door would snap open and sparks would fly and a red light would flash as the toy Space Marine mowed down imaginary space monsters. I was almost 4 years old. I used the round posts on my bed as a series of pulleys around which I wrapped yarn to ensure the proper directional pull on the ON switch so when my mother opened the door to my room, the yarn pulled the switch on the mechanical death machine and it rolled out from under the bed, spun around, as the side door flipped open and a gunner with dual laser cannons began to lay down cover fire toward the door of my room. I'm not sure if my mother had learned to levitate, or if she had previously been bitten by a radio active spider, but by the time I awoke from a deep slumber the hysterical screaming had stopped and she was gracefully (yeah right) returning to earth pointing frantically and speaking in tongues. I must be gifted, because I clearly heard, “Would you please turn off your wake-up alarm?” I think my mother may have been surprised . . . It's almost always best to be nice to people, however, sometime you just HAVE to shake up your buddy's beer before you hand it to him. I hope you enjoy reading these tales as much as I enjoyed remembering them and writing them down.
