Download or read book Diez Cuentos Apestosos Volumen 1 written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-01-07 with total page 155 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Diez historias de amor, traición y ese gas verde favorito de todos en un inolvidable volumen. Para lectores adultos (maduros o no). Aproximadamente 30.000 palabras. EMBOTELLANDO PEDOS ¿Podría el poder más grande... El camino a la riqueza, más allá de nuestra imaginación más salvaje... La clave para alcanzar el más alto nivel de conciencia espiritual y la felicidad... ... Ser obtenido por pedos embotellado??? --Es nuestro secreto... --Vlad le dijo al niño pequeño. --Usa el poder con cuidado... EL CRITICO ENCULADO El culo de Zack Pimpton nunca ha estado peor, y el hecho de que el médico sea un comediante a tiempo parcial no ayuda. Por desgracia, Zack es bastante cabrón y dice lo que no debe, haciendo que el buen doctor se ponga furioso. A PUNTO DE REVENTAR Barnabus Prim ha llegado al final del camino. Ahogado en deudas y casado con una mujer odiosa que no puede ni verlo, decide hacer lo impensable. Pero encontrar el camino al más allá resulta mucho más difícil de lo que él había imaginado. EL MATRIMONIO APESTA Mackelroy Puggsley creía haberlo oído todo, hasta que un extraño hombre llamado Bilby Bloob se aparece en su vestíbulo una mañana. Cuando Bilby le pide un permiso de matrimonio para su gaseosa esposa, el viejo pone el freno. Sí, una cosa es casarte con tu novia de la secundaria, pero ¿con un pedo? ¿A quién se le puede ocurrir casarse con un pedo? --No me iré a ningún lado hasta que nos dé un permiso de matrimonio --insisitó Bilby. --¿Ah, sí? --Mackelroy se hizo sonar los nudillos. HASTA QUE EL GRAN PEDO NOS SEPARE Los temores de Helen Hubbard finalmente se han confirmado. Una mañana, durante el almuerzo en su restaurante favorito, su esposo Gary le confiesa que la ha estado engañando, y está listo para abandonarla en un instante. Cuando ella hurga en el asunto, descubre más de lo que quería saber sobre Muffy, la misteriosa amante de él. "¿¿¿Entonces me estás dejando por un pedo???", exclamó Helen. LA PREGUNTA DE 500 DÓLARES Perkins Deadwood no puede dar crédito a sus oídos. Su hijo de doce años acaba de pedirle para Navidad un pedo mascota. Y no cualquier pedo: un pedo español. ¡Ay, caramba! ¿Podrá disuadir a su hijo el vendedor de autos usados? ¿O será esta Navidad realmente apestosa? ESCAPADA DE FIN DE SEMANA Cuando Martin Dollop y Arthur Bodine parten para unas vacaciones románticas en las islas, no tienen idea de lo que les espera. Ahora se pudren en una celda de una cárcel mexicana y parece que han llegado al final del camino. Hasta el pinche guardia no les hará el honor de meterles una bala en la cabeza y les ofrece un poco de veneno para acabar con su sufrimiento. ¿Podrán los tórtolos concretar su escapada gratis de fin de semana y hacer las paces? ¿O acabarán los condenados matándose entre sí en el proceso? BUSCANDO A FLOOFY Cuando un hombre se enamora perdidamente de un pedo asesino, le resulta difícil aceptar su misteriosa partida. ¿Fue algo que dijo? ¿Algo que hizo? ¿Era su pene demasiado pequeño? Nada tiene sentido. "Te encontraré, mi querida Floofy. ¡Aunque sea lo último que haga!" EL ASPIRANTE A PEDONAUTA Hank Larmspitz tiene un plan. Bueno, más o menos. Va a ser el primer hombre en la luna, maldita sea, y va a hacerlo sin la ayuda de un traje espacial o incluso de una nave espacial. ¿Qué tiene en mente exactamente? Dan Dinkerleaf, un reportero local de KAAS-LD en Eureeka, quiere averiguarlo. Y cuando descubre las verdaderas intenciones de Hank, eso pone a prueba su paciencia. "¿En serio?", espeta. "¿No le parece que su teoría es... oh, no sé... implausible?" "Preste atención y tal vez aprenda algo." Hank hace sonar los nudillos y saca una ración de su marca favorita. PÚBLICO CAUTIVO Tres hombres, una secretaria rubia, un ascensor atascado y una serie de pedos horribles y letales. ¿Qué podría salir mal?
Download or read book The Pirates of Pompeii written by Caroline Lawrence and published by Orion Children's Books. This book was released on 2010-12-09 with total page 155 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is AD 79 and Mount Vesuvius has erupted, destroying Pompeii. Among the thousands of people huddled in refugee camps along the bay of Naples are Flavia Gemina and her friends, Jonathan the Jewish boy, Nubia the African slave-girl, and Lupus the mute beggar boy. When the friends discover that children are being kidnapped from the camps, they start to investigate and soon solve the mystery of the pirates of Pompeii. A terrifically exciting and dramatic story packed with superb historical detail.
Download or read book The Chapped Ass Critic EPUB written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.
Download or read book Bottling Farts EPUB written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.
Download or read book The Pipil Language of El Salvador written by Lyle Campbell and published by Walter de Gruyter. This book was released on 2011-07-22 with total page 976 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The series builds an extensive collection of high quality descriptions of languages around the world. Each volume offers a comprehensive grammatical description of a single language together with fully analyzed sample texts and, if appropriate, a word list and other relevant information which is available on the language in question. There are no restrictions as to language family or area, and although special attention is paid to hitherto undescribed languages, new and valuable treatments of better known languages are also included. No theoretical model is imposed on the authors; the only criterion is a high standard of scientific quality. To discuss your book idea or submit a proposal, please contact Birgit Sievert.
Download or read book Pima Bajo written by Zarina Estrada Fernández and published by . This book was released on 1996 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Chicano Latino Literary Prize written by Stephanie Fetta and published by Arte Publico Press. This book was released on 2008-01-01 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ñDavid is mine!î Mrs. Renteria shouts out to her neighbors gathered about the dead but handsome young man found in the dry riverbed next to their homes in a Los Angeles barrio. ñDavid?î Tiburcio asked. ñSince when is his name David? He looks to me more like a î Tiburcio glanced at the manÍs face, ñ a Luis.î Mrs. RenteriaÍs neighbors call out a litany of names that better suit the mysterious corpse: Roberto, Antonio, Henry, Enrique, Miguel, Roy, Rafael. The very first winner of the Chicano / Latino Literary Prize in 1974, Ron AriasÍ ñThe Wetbackî uses dark humor to reflect on the appearance of a dead brown man in their midst. This landmark collection of prize-winning fiction, poetry, and drama paints a historical and aesthetic panorama of Chicana/o and Latina/o letters over a twenty-five-year period beginning in 1974 and ending in 1999. Most, but not all, of the winning entries are featured in this anthology, which also includes second- and third-place winners, as well as honorable mentions. Now entering its thirty-first year, the award has recognized a wide variety of writers, from established ones such as Juan Felipe Herrera, Michael Nava, and Helena Maria Viramontes, to those that are lesser known. Many of the pieces in this anthology are considered to be foundational texts of Chicana/o and Latina/o literature, and those that are not as widely recognized deserve more serious study and attention. Presented in chronological order, the selected writings are primarily in English, although some are written in Spanish, and others in Spanglish. Some, like Francisco X. AlarconÍs poem ñRaices / Roots,î appear in both languages: ñMis raices / las cargo / siempre / conmigo / enrolladas / me sirven / de almohada.î ñI carry / my roots / with me / all the time / rolled up / I use them / as my pillow.î In addition to the diverse array of authors, styles, and genres, the works included in this collection cover a wide range of themes, from more political issues of ethnic, gender, and class.
Download or read book Autobiograf a de Un Esclavo written by Juan Francisco Manzano and published by Wayne State University Press. This book was released on 1996 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The proceedings of ISCV'95, the successor to previous Workshops on Computer Vision, comprise 104 refereed papers on topics in optical flow, matching/stereo, motion, object recognition, low-level vision, CAD-based vision, stereo, deformable models, systems and applications, tracking, segmentation and grouping, active vision, aerial image analysis, and integration/texture. No index. Annotation copyright by Book News, Inc., Portland, OR
Download or read book Literacy Education written by Debi Prasanna Pattanayak and published by . This book was released on 1980 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Children s Books in Print 2007 written by and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book A Companion to Latina o Studies written by Juan Flores and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2009-02-09 with total page 560 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Companion to Latina/o Studies is a collection of 40 original essays written by leading scholars in the field, dedicated to exploring the question of what 'Latino/a' is. Brings together in one volume a diverse range of original essays by established and emerging scholars in the field of Latina/o Studies Offers a timely reference to the issues, topics, and approaches to the study of US Latinos - now the largest minority population in the United States Explores the depth of creative scholarship in this field, including theories of latinisimo, immigration, political and economic perspectives, education, race/class/gender and sexuality, language, and religion Considers areas of broader concern, including history, identity, public representations, cultural expression and racialization (including African and Native American heritage).
Download or read book The House on the Lagoon written by Rosario Ferré and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2014-04-29 with total page 487 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finalist for the National Book Award: “A family saga in the manner of Gabriel García Márquez,” set in Puerto Rico, from an extraordinary storyteller (The New York Times Book Review). This riveting, multigenerational epic tells the story of two families and the history of Puerto Rico through the eyes of Isabel Monfort and her husband, Quintín Mendizabal. Isabel attempts to immortalize their now-united families—and, by extension, their homeland—in a book. The tale that unfolds in her writing has layers upon layers, exploring the nature of love, marriage, family, and Puerto Rico itself. Weaving the intimate with the expansive on a teeming stage, Ferré crafts a revealing self-portrait of a man and a woman, two fiercely independent people searching for meaning and identity. As Isabel declares: “Nothing is true, nothing is false, everything is the color of the glass you’re looking through.” A book about freeing oneself from societal and cultural constraints, The House on the Lagoon also grapples with bigger issues of life, death, poverty, and racism. Mythological in its breadth and scope, this is a masterwork from an extraordinary storyteller.
Download or read book Am rica s Dream written by Esmeralda Santiago and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 387 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: América Gonzalez is a hotel housekeeper on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, cleaning up after wealthy foreigners who don't look her In the eye. Her alcoholic mother resents her; her married boyfriend, Correa, beats her; and their fourteen-year-old daughter thinks life would be better anywhere but with América. So when América is offered the chance to work as alive-in housekeeper and nanny for a family in Westchester County, New York, she takes it as a sign that a door to escape has been opened. Yet even as América revels in the comparative luxury of her new life, daring to care about a man other than Correa, she is faced with dramatic proof that no matter what she does, she can't get away from her past.
Download or read book The Amazonian Languages written by R. M. W. Dixon and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 1999-09-23 with total page 482 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Amazon Basin is arguably both one of the least-known and the most complex linguistic regions in the world. It is the home of some 300 languages belonging to around twenty language families, plus more than a dozen genetic isolates, and many of these languages (often incompletely documented and mostly endangered) show properties that constitute exceptions to received ideas about linguistic universals. This book provides an overview in a single volume of this rich and exciting linguistic area. The editors and contributors have sought to make their descriptions as clear and accessible as possible, in order to provide a basis for further research on the structural characteristics of Amazonian languages and their genetic and areal relationships, as well as a point of entry to important cross-linguistic data for the wider constituency of theoretical linguists.
Download or read book Introduction to Psychology written by Dennis Coon and published by Thomson Learning. This book was released on 2001 with total page 694 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Translating for Children written by Ritta Oittinen and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2002-06 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Translating for Children is not a book on translations of children's literature, but a book on translating for children. It concentrates on human action in translation and focuses on the translator, the translation process, and translating for children, in particular. Translators bring to the translation their cultural heritage, their reading experience, and in the case of children's books, their image of childhood and their own child image. In so doing, they enter into a dialogic relationship that ultimately involves readers, the author, the illustrator, the translator, and the publisher. What makes Translating for Children unique is the special attention it pays to issues like the illustrations of stories, the performance (like reading aloud) of the books in translation, and the problem of adaptation. It demonstrates how translation and its context takes precedence can take over efforts to discover and reproduce the original author's intentions. Rather than the authority of the author, the book concentrates on the intentions of the readers of a book in translation, both the translator and the target-language readers.
Download or read book Protected Landscapes and Cultural and Spiritual Values written by Josep-Maria Mallarach and published by Kasparek Verlag. This book was released on 2008 with total page 191 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Documents, using case studies, the non-material values that are to be found in protected landscapes.