Download or read book Diddly Squat Pigs Might Fly written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Random House. This book was released on 2023-10-26 with total page 115 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden rule: Whatever you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming . . . But he charges by the hour. Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths. But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner. And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . . Diddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022

Download or read book Can You Make This Thing Go Faster written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2020-10-29 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Who is that tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer? Has Jeremy turned into a horny-handed son of the soil? These and other perplexing questions may or may not be answered in the latest volume of Clarkson's utterly unbiased musings on life, the universe and everything in between (except cars - this isn't one of his four-wheel drive books). Inside you'll also discover why: · Bathing in crude oil isn't for everyone · People who go fishing hate their kids · Noise-cancelling headphones will never silence James May · The rambler who stole his marrow is in for it Full of fact-checked opinions and ideas so good they're no longer following the science but chasing it up a tree, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? is one hundred per cent guaranteed Clarkson . . . Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Download or read book Diddly Squat written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2021-11-11 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out _________ Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'. And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it. From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough. Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . . _________ 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

Download or read book What Could Possibly Go Wrong written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2014-10-28 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No one writes about cars like Jeremy Clarkson. While most correspondents are too busy diving straight into BHP, MPG and MPH, Jeremy appreciates that there are more important things to life. Don't worry, we'll get to the cars. Eventually. But first we should consider: • The case for invading France • The overwhelming appeal of a nice sit-down • The inconvenience of gin and tonic • Why clothes are no better than ice cream • Spot-welding with the Duchess of Kent • And why Denmark is the best place in the world Armed only with conviction, curiosity, enthusiasm and a pair of stout trousers, Jeremy hurtles around the world - along motorway, autoroute, freeway and autobahn - in search of answers to life's puzzles and ponderings without forethought or fear for his own safety. What, you have to ask, could possibly go wrong . . .

Download or read book Really written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2019-10-03 with total page 576 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: JEREMY CLARKSON'S LATEST - AND MOST OUTRAGEOUS - TAKE ON THE WORLD CLARKSON'S BACK - AND THIS TIME HE'S PUTTING HIS FOOT DOWN From his first job as a travelling sales rep selling Paddington Bears to his latest wheeze as a gentleman farmer, Jeremy Clarkson's love of cars has just about kept him out of trouble. But in a persistently infuriating world, sometimes you have to race full-throttle at the speed-bumps. Because there's still plenty to get cross about, including: · Why nothing good ever came out of a meeting · Muesli's unmentionable side effects · Navigating London when every single road is being dug up at once · People who read online reviews of dishwashers · ****ing driverless cars Buckle up for a bumpy ride - you're holding the only book in history to require seatbelts . . . Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: Brilliant . . . Laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . Will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Download or read book If You d Just Let Me Finish written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2018-10-18 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Clarkson is back! Pre order his brand new book now. ___________ In November 2016 we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been. Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess? And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including - The disabling effects of being vegan - How Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it - The problem with meditation - A perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra - Why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants to It's all been a bit unsettling. But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on ... Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant...laugh-out-loud' - Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny...will have you in stiches' - Time Out 'Very funny...I cracked up laughing on the tube' - Evening Standard

Download or read book As I Was Saying written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2015-10-06 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Download or read book Back When We Were Grownups written by Anne Tyler and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2001-07-31 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • "Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered that she had turned into the wrong person." The woman is Rebecca Davitch, a fifty-three-year-old grandmother. "You’ll want to turn back to the first chapter the moment you finish the last.” —PEOPLE On the surface, Beck, as she is known to the Davitch clan, is outgoing, joyous, a natural celebrator. Giving parties is, after all, her vocation—something she married into after Joe Davitch spotted her at an engagement party in his family’s crumbling nineteenth-century Baltimore row house, where giving parties was his family business. What caught Joe's fancy was that she seemed to be having such a wonderful time. Soon this large-spirited divorcé with three little girls swept Beck into his orbit, and before she knew it she was embracing his extended family—plus a child of their own—and hosting endless parties in the ornate, high-ceilinged rooms of The Open Arms. Now, some thirty years later, after presiding over a disastrous family party, Rebecca is caught un-awares by the question of who she really is. Is she an impostor in her own life? Is it indeed her own life? How she answers—how she tries to recover her girlhood self, that dignified grownup she had once been—is the story told in this beguiling, funny, and deeply moving novel.

Download or read book The Runaway Tractor For tablet devices written by Heather Amery and published by Usborne Publishing Ltd. This book was released on 2013-05-15 with total page 23 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Follow Ted's disastrous tractor journey in this humourous short story set on Apple Tree Farm. Specially written, with the help of language experts, for young children just beginning to read. Exclusive ebook material includes a map of Apple Tree Farm, showing all of the places mentioned in the story. Don't forget to spot the Little Yellow Duck on every double page. This is a highly illustrated ebook that can only be read on the Kindle Fire or other tablet. "Usborne farmyard tales are delightful short stories superbly illustrated and in easy language, just right for the children who are just beginning to read... if you have a child in the age group of two to five, you can be sure that they are going to love these books." - A Spoonful of Ideas

Download or read book Wembley Fraggle Gets the Story written by Deborah Perlberg and published by Henry Holt Books For Young Readers. This book was released on 1984 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wembley and his friends decide to write and publish the First-Ever Fraggle Rock Newspaper.

Download or read book Pigs Might Fly written by Dick King-Smith and published by Richmond Hill, Ont. : Scholastic-TAB Publications. This book was released on 1984-06 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Having been coached in swimming by a duck and an otter, a runt piglet with deformed front feet becomes a hero when their farm is flooded.

Download or read book How Hard Can It Be written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How Hard Can it Be? is the fourth hilarious volume in Jeremy Clarkson's The World According to Clarkson series. How hard can it be... To build a power station without upsetting the eco-mentalists? To seek world domination if you've been hit the ugly stick? For the Met Office to get yesterday's weather right? In volume four of The World According to Clarkson, Jeremy Clarkson pours scorn on the nonsensical, the dumb, the idiotic and the plain foolish in his continuing quest to discover where exactly we've all gone wrong. Along the way he ponders: • Whether conquering France might solve the immigration problem • What happened when you ignore proper warning labels • What would happen if we turned the internet off Often controversial, frequently scathing but always funnier than James May, Jeremy Clarkson shows us how we could so easily make the world a better place. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.

Download or read book Pigs Might Fly Mudpuddle Farm written by Michael Morpurgo and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2017-06-29 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Join the fun on the farm! A charming, funny story from award-winning author Michael Morpurgo, hilariously illustrated throughout by Shoo Rayner, and perfect for readers of 5 and up.

Download or read book I Know You Got Soul written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2006-05-25 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson writes about the machines that he believes have 'soul'. It will come as no surprise to anyone that Jeremy Clarkson loves machines. But it's not just any old bucket of blots, cogs and bearings that rings his bell. In fact, he's scoured the length and breadth of the land, plunged into the oceans and taken to the skies in search of machines with that elusive certain something. And along the way he's discovered: * The safest place to be in the event of nuclear war * Who would win if Superman, James Bond and The Terminator had a fight * The stupidest person he's ever met * What an old Cornish institution called Arthur has to do with 0898 chat lines * And how Jean Claude Van Damme might get eaten by a lion . . . In I Know You Got Soul, Jeremy Clarkson tells stories of the geniuses, innovators and crackpots who put the ghost in the machine. From Brunel's SS Great Britain to the awesome Blackbird spy-plane and from the woeful - but inspiring - Graf Zeppelin to Han Solo's Millennium Falcon, they can't help but love them in return. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Download or read book For Crying Out Loud written by Jeremy Clarkson and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2009-05-14 with total page 341 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Volume 3 of the 'World According to Clarkson' series

Download or read book Koala s Big Day written by Rebecca Johnson and published by Steve Parish. This book was released on 2002 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Koala's Big Day, a baby koala travels with his mother and the othe r koalas to a gum tree that has enough leaves for everyone. The k oala is unique to Australia. It lives in eucalypt forests in eastern Aus tralia, and eats only gum leaves. Gum leaves are low in energy content, so koalas spend up to 20 hours a day sleeping. A baby koala, called a jo ey, stays in its mother's pouch for 6 months, drinking its mother's milk . It later rides on her back until it is about 12 months old. About the Author: Rebecca Johnson is an award-winning primary school science teacher and has written more than 60 books for ch ildren.

Download or read book The Madhouse written by TJ Benson and published by Penguin Random House South Africa. This book was released on 2021-03-05 with total page 235 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The dazzling story of a Nigerian family. The house at the end of Freetown Street in Nigeria’s Sabon Gari was once a sanatorium for colonists deranged from the heat and insanity of the place. Now it is home to a family whose unorthodox lives unfold into legend: Sweet Mother, an artist, her husband Shariff, a writer and soldier, and their children André and Max. From the moment his baby brother André is born, Max attaches himself to him, even dreaming the boy’s homicidal dreams. When the wayward André later pulls free from the family to join a death cult, Max must decide how far he will be drawn into his brother’s web. Serene and beautiful, Ladidi joins the family as a foster child, promising to marry the boy at school who can bring her a strawberry, a fruit she has never tasted. Sensuality blooms, along with loss of innocence amid the death of music legend Fela Kuti, massacres, disappearances, abductions and broken promises. While Sweet Mother and Shariff battle their personal demons, Max realises you cannot save your family. But can you ever escape them? In his exhilarating debut, TJ Benson conjures up a kaleidoscope of Nigeria. This is the extraordinary tale of five people bound by blood, each searching for a way through.