Download or read book Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly written by Gavin Edwards and published by Harper Perennial. This book was released on 1998-10-23 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do You Hear What I Hear? "Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go drown in Listerine," "We wish you a very crisp mess," and "O come, hoggy faithful." The master of the misheard, Gavin Edwards, author of the bestselling 'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy and He's Got the Whole World in His Pants, has done it again, this time with a collection of bungled Christmas lyrics from misguided wassailers. Just in time for the holidays, Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly uncovers some of the most hilarious--and twisted--Yuletide blunders, including: "Just like the wands I used to know" ("Just like the ones I used to know" -- "White Christmas") "He's making a list, chicken and rice" ("He's making a list, checking it twice" -- "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town") "Olive, the other reindeer" ("All of the other reindeer" -- "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer") "Round John Virgin" ("Round yon virgin" -- "Silent Night")

Download or read book Buddy Holly written by Spencer Leigh and published by McNidder & Grace. This book was released on 2019-01-10 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Buddy Holly died on the 3 February 1959 death. He was 22 years old. Don McLean called that fatal day 'The Day the Music Died'. But, his music hasn't died, as he has left us a wonderful legacy. With his animated voice, trademark black glasses, fender Stratocaster and inimitable songs, Buddy and his music live on and continue to influence subsequent generations of musicians. Spencer Leigh has interviewed those who knew him best – his young widow Maria Elena, his band members the Crickets, Des O'Connor who compered his UK 1958 tour as well as musicians, songwriters, friends, fans and many others who worked with Buddy. A definitive account of Buddy Holly and his career. 'Spencer Leigh Raves On – brilliantly.' Sir Tim Rice A journalist, acclaimed author and BBC broadcaster for over 40 years, Spencer Leigh is an acknowledged authority on popular music. He has written an extensive list of music biographies which includes The Beatles, Buddy Holly, Simon & Garfunkel, Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley and Bob Dylan. 'A highly-readable mix of impeccable research, first-hand testimonies and a personal critique on Holly's life, career and music. First-rate.' Michael Leonard, Vintage Rock 'I am delighted to have been asked by Spencer to write the Foreword to Buddy Holly: Learning the Game, as I have read several of his biographies and he certainly knows what he is talking about.' Frank Ifield 'Spencer Leigh is a fine writer and a good researcher and I certainly enjoyed what he had to say about Buddy Holly.' Hunter Davies, author, journalist and broadcaster

Download or read book The Ten Make That Nine Habits of Very Organized People Make That Ten written by Steve Martin and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2012-02-21 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The funniest, most memorable Twitter messages from comedian and bestselling author Steve Martin, along with hilarious responses from followers. Steve Martin's uncanny ability to pack 140 characters with humor and wit has defined what it means to be a celebrity in today's world of social media. With over 8 million followers on Twitter (a number growing by the day), Martin's tweets have been covered by personal blogs, major news outlets, and everything in between. Funny illustrations complement Martin's insights on everything from celebrity culture to jury duty to Twitter itself. Perfect, light reading for your hectic commute, busy waiting rooms, or a lazy Sunday afternoon, this collection will delight avid followers and offline fans alike.

Download or read book Have Yourself a Punny Little Christmas written by Richard Lederer and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2009-09 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Q. Why did Frosty decide to live in the middle of the ocean? A. Because snowman is an island. Q. What do you call a bunch of parents standing in line to buy their daughters a popular doll? A. A Barbie queue. Q. An opinion survey in Alaska is called what? A. A north poll. Q. When you cross a sheep with a cicada, what do you get? A. Baa, humbug!

Download or read book Homer s Winged Words written by Steve Reece and published by BRILL. This book was released on 2009 with total page 429 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For over 2500 years many of the most learned scholars of the Greek language have concerned themselves with the topic of etymology. The most productive source of difficult, even inexplicable, words was Homer s 28,000 verses of epic poetry. Steve Reece proposes an approach to elucidating the meanings of some of these difficult words that finds its inspiration primarily in Milman Parry s oral-formulaic theory. He proposes that during the long period of oral transmission acoustic uncertainties, especially regarding word boundaries, were continually occurring: a bard uttered one collocation of words, but his audience thought it heard another. The consequent resegmentation of words and phrases is the probable cause of some of the etymologically inexplicable words in our Homeric texts.

Download or read book The Christmas Book written by Juliana Foster and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2010-12-07 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stuffed full of festive fun, this is an amusing and informative guide to surviving and making the most of the holiday season.

Download or read book Laugh Lines for Educators written by Diane Hodges and published by Corwin Press. This book was released on 2005-10-19 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A unique collection of humorous anecdotes, stories, and jokes, this entertaining book will lighten the day for educators and promote fun in the school environment.

Download or read book The Wonder of Christmas written by Derric Johnson and published by David C Cook. This book was released on 2005-08 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sure to become a treasured keepsake, this collection of heartwarming stories and poems reminds readers of the real meaning of the season. Illustrations.

Download or read book Dim Wit written by Rosemarie Jarski and published by Random House. This book was released on 2008-12-05 with total page 576 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd

Download or read book Vote for Larry written by Janet Tashjian and published by Henry Holt and Company (BYR). This book was released on 2008-09-02 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Those were the magic words and Beth knew it. How many times had I uttered that phrase to Ms. Robinson in guidance, the standard answer for what I wanted to do with my life? CHANGE THE WORLD. Did I still have the strength and determination to get it together and try to make a difference? Was it my destiny, my vocation? Or was I just trying to impress a girl? As I looked at Beth, I wondered if the reason why even mattered. The indefatigable Larry is back, and this time he takes on the American political system After falling off the wagon and becoming what he so clearly and strongly resisted-a consumer-Josh Swensen (aka Larry) finds himself in a hyper-paranoid state of no return. That is, until he's kidnapped and coaxed into resurfacing as his old persona. Before long, Larry is back on the scene with much more on his mind than a gospel Web site-this time Larry wants to affect change in government. What starts out as a campaign to get the younger population to vote turns into a run for the presidency. Can Larry really take on George Bush? In this very smart, very witty novel, Janet Tashjian brings the political world to the forefront and explores it from many different points of view.

Download or read book Q Eh written by Dianne Bardsley and published by Penguin Random House New Zealand Limited. This book was released on 2011-11-01 with total page 263 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fascinating answers to quirky questions about language Why is it not wrong to be doubly negative? Where do you place the stress in such words as 'dissect'? Where do 'wowser', 'craw thumper' and the 'f-word' come from? Do New Zealanders mangle the English language? Should we say different 'from' or 'to' or 'than'? We use it every day, but what is this thing called language, and are there rights and wrongs about its use? Four leading linguists, with specific interest in New Zealand English, tackle the common-place and quirky questions that arise from what we say, read and write. Funny, accessible, informative, this is a fascinating book.

Download or read book Garner s Modern American Usage written by Bryan Garner and published by Oxford University Press. This book was released on 2009-08-27 with total page 1007 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide to proper American English word usage, grammar, pronunciation, and style features examples of good and bad usage from the media.

Download or read book Tales From the Word Guy written by Jonathan Berkowitz and published by FriesenPress. This book was released on 2022-07-18 with total page 237 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tales from the Word Guy is a collection of essays adapted from the author’s segments on CBC Radio One’s North by Northwest. Jonathan Berkowitz takes the reader on a delightful journey through the history, idiosyncrasies, and sheer pleasures of the English language. He covers how English evolved and expanded over the centuries. And he reminds us of long-forgotten aspects of how to use the language properly. You will chuckle at how it is used improperly, often with amusing results. With enthusiasm, humour, and plenty of infectious fun, Berkowitz offers up a deep appreciation for the beauty of our language. If you love our language, you’ll love this look at it.

Download or read book The Ants Are My Friends written by Martin Toseland and published by Portico. This book was released on 2013-01-25 with total page 175 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Linguistic mistakes. We all make them. And if your name is George W Bush, you might make them more often than others. In 'The Ants are My Friends' (delightfully misheard from Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the Wind") Martin Toseland has collected the very best (and very worst) linguistic gifts of the gaffe. The catergories features include: Malapropisms (named after Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan's "The Rivals" where the wrong word pops out to bizarre results); Eggcorns (where a new word is created from misheard real one - the name comes from someone misunderstanding 'acorn' as 'eggcorn', as it has the same shape); Bushisms (the humour in which cannot be misunderestimated); and Mondegreens or misheard lyrics, which include such classic examples as: Who Ya Gonna Call, Gus Foster ("Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Junior); Last Night I Dreamed of Some Bagels ("La Isla Bonita" by Madonna); Sparing His Life For His Mum's Sausages ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen); It's a Fruit, Fruit Samba ("Cruel Summer" by Bananarama); and, Mr Tangerine Man ("Mr Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan).

Download or read book The Tao of Bill Murray written by Gavin Edwards and published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This book was released on 2017-10-24 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Perfect for the Bill Murray fan in all of us, this epic collection of “Bill Murray stories”—many reported for the first time here—distills a set of guiding principles out of his extraordinary ability to infuse the everyday with surprise, absurdity, and wonder. No one will ever believe you. New York Times bestselling author Gavin Edwards, like the rest of us, has always been fascinated with Bill Murray—in particular the beloved actor’s adventures off-screen, which rival his filmography for sheer entertainment value. Edwards traveled to the places where Murray has lived, worked, and partied, in search of the most outrageous and hilarious Bill Murray stories from the past four decades, many of which have never before been reported. Bill once paid a child five dollars to ride his bike into a swimming pool. The star convinced Harvard’s JV women’s basketball team to play with him in a private game of hoops. Many of these surreal encounters ended with Bill whispering, “No one will ever believe you” into a stranger’s ear. But The Tao of Bill Murray is more than just a collection of wacky anecdotes. A sideways mix of comedy and philosophy, full of photo bombs, late-night party crashes, and movie-set antics, this is the perfect book for anyone who calls themselves a Bill Murray fan—which is to say, everyone. Praise for The Tao of Bill Murray “When confronted by life’s challenges and opportunities, we should all be asking ourselves, ‘What would Bill Murray do?’ This book actually has the answers.”—Jay Duplass, writer, director, actor, fan of Bill Murray “[Gavin Edwards] captures Murray’s enigmatic, comic genius.”—The Washington Post “Rib-tickling.”—Newsday “If you are among the multitudes who have a Bill Murray story (viz: ‘I was in the airport bar, and who sat down next to me but Bill Murray?’), The Tao of Bill Murray will speak to you.”—Elle “Murray is an endless delight, and his knack for bons mots and non sequiturs will keep readers laughing before revealing an unexpectedly poignant vision for happiness. . . . A fun and revealing look behind the charm and mythos of Bill Murray that will only strengthen his legend.”—Kirkus Reviews “This book is bursting with anecdotes that underline Murray’s unconventional and fun-loving life. . . . Murray’s fans are sure to savor [it] and walk away with a deeper appreciation of the actor and his work.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review) “I just can’t fathom how anyone could not like the man. He lives as much as possible by his own rules; this is a guy who doesn’t buy round-trip airline tickets because he prefers to make decisions on the fly. That old question of the three people you’d most like to have dinner with? I’d pick Bill Murray and leave the other two chairs empty just to see who he pulls over to join us. . . . You will love The Tao of Bill Murray. Period.”—GeekDad “A hilarious read—occasionally heartwarming, sometimes head-scratching. . . . Sure to please Murray fans.”—Library Journal

Download or read book Texts from Mittens written by Angie Bailey and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2015-03-31 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the “filthy beast” dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers’ Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. “Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!” —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!” —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Download or read book The World According to Tom Hanks written by Gavin Edwards and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2018-10-23 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An entertaining and insightful homage to Tom Hanks, America's favorite movie star, from the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation The Tao of Bill Murray. Niceness gets a bad rap these days. Our culture rewards those who troll the hardest and who snark the most. At times it seems like there's no place anymore for optimism, integrity, and good old-fashioned respect. Enter "America's Dad": Tom Hanks. Whether he's buying espresso machines for the White House Press Corps, rewarding a jovial cab driver with a night out on Broadway, or extolling the virtues of using a typewriter, Hanks lives a passionate, joyful life and pays it forward to others. Gavin Edwards, the New York Times bestselling author of The Tao of Bill Murray, takes readers on a tour behind the scenes of Hanks's life: from his less-than-idyllic childhood, rocky first marriage, and career wipeouts to the pinnacle of his acting career and domestic bliss with the love of his life, Rita Wilson. As he did for Bill Murray, Edwards distills Hanks's life story into ten "commandments" that beautifully encapsulate his All-American philosophy. Contemplating the life, the achievements, and the obsessions of Mr. Tom Hanks may or may not give you the road map you need to find your way. But at the very least, it'll show you how niceness can be a worthy destination.