Download or read book Headmaster of Doom written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2017-02-09 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ... Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics. Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.

Download or read book The Teenage Years written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2011-10-06 with total page 191 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2 Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

Download or read book Eternal Detention written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2014-04-03 with total page 173 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Download or read book Dark Lord 4 Headmaster of Doom written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2017-07-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ... Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics. Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.

Download or read book A Fiend in Need written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 251 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Download or read book Dark Lord written by Jamie Thomson and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2014-01-07 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Evil Dark Lord tries to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands when an arch-foe transports him to a small town, into the body of a thirteen-year-old boy.

Download or read book The Teenage Years written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2011 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 13-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation.

Download or read book The School for Good and Evil The School for Good and Evil Book 1 written by Soman Chainani and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2013-06-06 with total page 411 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL is now a major motion picture from Netflix, starring Academy Award winner Charlize Theron, Kerry Washington, Laurence Fishburne, Michelle Yeoh, Cate Blanchett, and many more! A dark and enchanting fantasy adventure for those who prefer fairytales with a twist. The first in the bestselling series.

Download or read book We Love Harry Potter written by Sharon Moore and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2011-04-01 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Harry Potter-by now the name is surely as magical to you as it is to the millions of others who are devouring the books in J.K. Rowling's awesome series. Do you want to find out what others are saying about how they'd like to fly on a hippogriff or raise a pet dragon? What it would be like if they were students at Hogwarts and played on a Quidditch team? Their opininons on what really happened to Hary's parents? Read letters kids have written to Harry Potter, Hagrid, Hermione, and many ot the books' other unforgettable characters. Like the Harry Potter books themselves, We Love Harry Potter! is a treat for all ages!

Download or read book These High Green Hills written by Jan Karon and published by Penguin. This book was released on 1997-04-01 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Jan Karon on a trip to Mitford—a southern village of local characters so heartwarming and hilarious you'll wish you lived right next door. At last, Mitford's rector and lifelong bachelor, Father Tim, has married his talented and vivacious neighbor, Cynthia. Now, of course, they must face love's challenges: new sleeping arrangements for Father Tim's sofa-sized dog, Cynthia's urge to decorate the rectory Italian-villa-style, and the growing pains of the thrown-away boy who's become like a son to the rector. Add a life-changing camping trip, the arrival of the town's first policewoman, and a new computer that requires the patience of a saint, and you know you're in for another engrossing visit to Mitford—the little town that readers everywhere love to call home.

Download or read book The McSweeney s Joke Book of Book Jokes written by McSweeney's and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2008-04-01 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As John Hodgman says in this book's introduction, “We all know that books are funny. First, they are made of paste and cloth, which is funny, as is the fact that people still buy and read them.” With that in mind, the McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes collects the best book-related humor from the humor-laden archives of McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Open it and be regaled by such sketches, lists, letters, and spoofs as: Postcards from James Joyce to his Brother Stan Winnie-the-Pooh is My Coworker Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character? Popular Children's Fairy Tales Reimagined Using Members of My Family The Very Unauthorized Biography of Steven Seagal Chuck Norris Erotica John Updike, Television Writer Jane Eyre Runs for President Cormac McCarthy Writes to the Editor of the Santa Fe New Mexican Holden Caulfield Gives the Commencement Speech to a High School Letters from Odysseus's College Roommate And many dozens more.

Download or read book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows written by J.K. Rowling and published by Pottermore Publishing. This book was released on 2015-12-08 with total page 769 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Give me Harry Potter,' said Voldemort's voice, 'and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded.' As he climbs into the sidecar of Hagrid's motorbike and takes to the skies, leaving Privet Drive for the last time, Harry Potter knows that Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters are not far behind. The protective charm that has kept Harry safe until now is broken, but he cannot keep hiding. The Dark Lord is breathing fear into everything Harry loves and to stop him Harry will have to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes. The final battle must begin - Harry must stand and face his enemy... Having become classics of our time, the Harry Potter eBooks never fail to bring comfort and escapism. With their message of hope, belonging and the enduring power of truth and love, the story of the Boy Who Lived continues to delight generations of new readers.

Download or read book Obsession written by Meg Anne and published by . This book was released on 2023-05-19 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Traitor written by Grace Burrowes and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Grace Burrowes delivers a passionate, danger-filled Regency romance... The past will overtake him... Abandoned in France since boyhood, despite being heir to an English barony, Sebastian St. Clair makes impossible choices to survive a tour of duty in the French Army. He returns to England hoping for the peaceful life of a country gentleman, though old enemies insist on challenging him on the field of honor, one after another. But this time, he will not fight alone... Millicent Danforth desperately needs her position as companion to the Traitor Baron's aunt, but grieves to learn that Sebastian must continually fight a war long over. As Sebastian and Milly explore their growing passion, they uncover a plot that will cost Sebastian his life and his honor, unless he does battle once more—this time in the name of love. Captive Hearts series: The Captive (Book 1) The Traitor (Book 2) The Laird (Book 3)

Download or read book A Room of One s Own written by Virginia Woolf and published by Modernista. This book was released on 2024-05-30 with total page 111 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Virginia Woolf's playful exploration of a satirical »Oxbridge« became one of the world's most groundbreaking writings on women, writing, fiction, and gender. A Room of One's Own [1929] can be read as one or as six different essays, narrated from an intimate first-person perspective. Actual history blends with narrative and memoir. But perhaps most revolutionary was its address: the book is written by a woman for women. Male readers are compelled to read through women's eyes in a total inversion of the traditional male gaze. VIRGINIA WOOLF [1882–1941] was an English author. With novels like Jacob’s Room [1922], Mrs Dalloway [1925], To the Lighthouse [1927], and Orlando [1928], she became a leading figure of modernism and is considered one of the most important English-language authors of the 20th century. As a thinker, with essays like A Room of One’s Own [1929], Woolf has influenced the women’s movement in many countries.

Download or read book Disciplinary Action written by Onley James and published by Onley James Books. This book was released on 2020-04-20 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: LEOPOLD GIDEON spent his childhood as the poor kid in a rich school until he met an older man who took him under his wing and into his bed, teaching him to not only survive but thrive among the elite and to never submit to anybody…except him. For fifteen years, Gideon had everything, but then tragedy strikes, leaving him alone once again. CALLUM WHYTE was raised with every conceivable luxury but one: loving parents. When his father is indicted for federal crimes and his assets frozen, Cal has to learn to survive with nothing. When a friend offers him money to spend the night with a hot older man, Cal has no choice but to say yes or literally risk going without medication he needs to stay alive. One night with Gideon leaves Cal’s head spinning and his body longing for something he never thought he’d want: discipline. Too bad Gideon never plays with the same boy twice, not even ones who beg as sweetly as Cal. Just when Cal thinks all hope is lost, he discovers Gideon is the new headmaster for his school, leading him to devise a plan to get what he wants by blackmailing the older man into spending the next six weeks with him. But Cal is about to learn it doesn’t pay to blackmail someone who doles out his punishments. Will this battle of wills end in a ceasefire or heartbreak?

Download or read book Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets written by J.K. Rowling and published by Pottermore Publishing. This book was released on 2015-12-08 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'There is a plot, Harry Potter. A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year.' Harry Potter's summer has included the worst birthday ever, doomy warnings from a house-elf called Dobby, and rescue from the Dursleys by his friend Ron Weasley in a magical flying car! Back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for his second year, Harry hears strange whispers echo through empty corridors - and then the attacks start. Students are found as though turned to stone... Dobby's sinister predictions seem to be coming true. Having become classics of our time, the Harry Potter eBooks never fail to bring comfort and escapism. With their message of hope, belonging and the enduring power of truth and love, the story of the Boy Who Lived continues to delight generations of new readers.