Download or read book Cruise Ships Do Funny Things to Me written by Joshua Kinser and published by . This book was released on 2014-11-20 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of Chronicles of a Cruise Ship Crew Member, a #1 bestseller in Amazon's "Cruise" and "Caribbean" categories. What kind of ridiculous and outrageous stuff happens to people who work on cruise ships? Funny stuff, that's what. At least that's what happened to me while I was sailing around the world working aboard cruise ships for more than six years. This 84-page collection of nineteen true short stories offers a comical glimpse into the life of a cruise ship crew member, those brave souls who dare to leave it all behind to go live inside the hull of a ship, way below the waterline. It takes a special kind of person to want to live so close to a bilge tank. It's true; Cruise ships do funny things to me. And here's the proof.

Download or read book The Truth about Cruise Ships written by Jay Herring and published by . This book was released on 2011-12-01 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Author's hurricane and flooding video aired on national television by ABC's Nightline to 3.9 million people. A finalist in the Global eBook Awards, this is a behind-the-scenes look at cruise ships in a way that's never been done before. Some of the stories are shocking, some are enlightening, but most are just laugh-out-loud entertaining. This tour behind those "Crew Only" doors will reveal: - How romance on a cruise ship is unlike anywhere else - The insane things passengers do - Why alcohol is mandatory at sea - How nude cruises compare to Christian cruises - A first hand account of damage from getting caught in a hurricane Jay Herring was an American senior officer and one of the few who had physical access to the entire ship. He worked with every department and every senior officer, including the captain. His wife worked in the casino, and combined they worked for Carnival Cruise Lines for 10 years and sailed on over 503 cruises. If you've ever wondered what happens below deck on a cruise ship, then get ready to laugh through an experience unlike any other! . . Chapter 1 How Easy Is Romance on a Cruise Ship? I had been onboard my first ship for five days when I went to the crew bar and met a woman from Trinidad and Tobago. She was a black woman and she was overweight, maybe even a little flabby, but such a sweetheart. I saw her the next night in the crew bar and she looked upset so I went over and sat down. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I just had an argument with the chief purser," she said with her Caribbean accent. "That's too bad." "Yes, I do not get along with the pursers on this ship very well," she said, starting to tear up a little. "I do not have many friends onboard." Although I liked her, I could understand why others might shy away. She had slow, almost voodoo-like mannerisms that bordered on creepy. But she was so easy to talk to and, like me, perfectly content to sit and talk one on one. "So do you have a girlfriend?" she asked, changing the subject. "No." "Have you been with anyone on the ship yet?" "Nope. It's actually been twelve years since I slept with someone." "Come on now." "It's true." I said, and then told her why (more on that later). "Hmm. That's fascinating. You know, I used to sleep with a skinny white guy from England on my last ship. You remind me of him." "Oh, yeah?" "He and I had lots of fun, and I never left him unsatisfied. I may not look it, but I'm actually a really good lover." "You don't say." "I've been with lots of men in my day. I'm forty-one, after all. And in my years, I've learned exactly what men like and how to please them. And now"-she took a sip of her drink-"and now all the men I sleep with are extremely satisfied." I had always imagined athletic girls-especially flexible athletic girls-to be the best lovers. But this lady from Trinidad had me rethinking that assumption. Maybe it was just another one of the after effects of abstinence, but those voodoo mannerisms were now bordering on sensual. "Would you like to have sex with me?" she asked, taking another sip of her drink. "We could go to my cabin right now." Woodrow. I couldn't believe how quickly the opportunity had presented itself. "I might be interested in that." "Might?" "Yeah." "But not right now?" "Yeah, not just yet." "Okay, well, you think about it and I'll call you later this week." She got up and left me at the table, alone with my thoughts. My cabin phone rang at 8:00 p.m. two days later. "Hi, it's me," she said. "How are you?" "I'm good. How are you?" I responded. "Good, good. Are you ready to do what we talked about the other night?" she asked, wasting no time on idle chit-chat...

Download or read book COMEDY It s no laughing matter written by Tom Bright and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2019-10-03 with total page 158 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The story of an entertainer for 50 years. Did he choose the right profession? Or should he have followed his heart?

Download or read book A Supposedly Fun Thing I ll Never Do Again written by David Foster Wallace and published by Back Bay Books. This book was released on 2009-11-23 with total page 546 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: These widely acclaimed essays from the author of Infinite Jest -- on television, tennis, cruise ships, and more -- established David Foster Wallace as one of the preeminent essayists of his generation. In this exuberantly praised book -- a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner -- David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest.

Download or read book Every Love Story Is a Ghost Story written by D. T. Max and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-08-30 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The acclaimed New York Times–bestselling biography and “emotionally detailed portrait of the artist as a young man” (Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times) In the first biography of the iconic David Foster Wallace, D.T. Max paints the portrait of a man, self-conscious, obsessive and struggling to find meaning. If Wallace was right when he declared he was “frightfully and thoroughly conventional,” it is only because over the course of his short life and stunning career, he wrestled intimately and relentlessly with the fundamental anxiety of being human. In his characteristic lucid and quick-witted style, Max untangles Wallace’s anxious sense of self, his volatile and sometimes abusive connection with women, and above all, his fraught relationship with fiction as he emerges with his masterpiece Infinite Jest. Written with the cooperation of Wallace’s family and friends and with access to hundreds of unpublished letters, manuscripts and journals, this captivating biography unveils the life of the profoundly complicated man who gave voice to what we thought we could not say.

Download or read book Straight Up No Sippin written by George Stowers and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2008-04-02 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since the summer of 2000, George Stowers has worked onboard some of the largest and newest cruise ships that ply the earth's waters. His time onboard these grand, floating resorts has afforded him the opportunity to visit world renowned ports in the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Western coasts of the Unites States and Mexico as well as all of the Hawaiian Islands. Mr. Stowers entered the cruising industry as a sales assistant in the onboard gift shops and then moved into the position of Internet Manager. For those who have always wondered what this unique lifestyle of cruise ship employment entails, his memoirs in "Straight Up, No Sippin'" provide insightful answers through witty narratives, keen observation of "vacation" behavior, and frank, self evaluation.

Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on My Journey to Heaven written by Patricia Coury Hartman and published by Xulon Press. This book was released on 2009 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Me?!? Go to church? Lightning will strike me dead! Me?!? Homeless? Jobless? How did this happen? Me?!? Give money to the church? They are just after my money! Me?!? Go back to school? Become a CPA? I'm over 40! Me?!? Tithe? I give enough! Me?!? Date? How could I ever trust a man again? Me?!? Write a book? I'm a CPA for Heaven's sake! Me?!? Witness? People will think I'm strange! Author Patricia Coury Hartman is, of all things, a CPA. She always sees the lighter side of life, even though she has been through some very deep painful times, including divorce and parenting alone. Her smile and her laughter brighten any room. Her humility shows through in her writing, as she shares transparently how she got to where she is today. She has a gift of taking the complex and making it simple. Her journey has taken her from: [Runaway to Home Again [Liberal to Conservative [Atheist to Christian [Single Mom to Married [Empty Nester [Rebellion to Contentment [Broke to Financially Stable [Bus Driver to CPA [Homeless to Homeowner [Proud to Humble [Lost to Found [Sinner to... well... Grab a cup of coffee and a box of tissues and head for the easy chair. Get ready for times of laughter, reflection and joy...

Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Freedom written by Desi Sanchez and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2012-11-12 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Author Desi Sanchez, a native of Cuba, was twenty-two years old when the Bay of Pigs incident took place there in 1961. He had made the decision to side against Fidel Castro long before the confrontation and served as a merchant marine in the SS Houston during the invasion. In 2010 Desi Sanchez received an honorary crew member certificate of the DDE-510 Eaton. Havana was Desi Sanchezs home. He was born there, grew up there, went to school there, and fell in love there. Eventually, however, as Castros regime began to take hold and everything began to change, he learned that home isnt where your life happened; its where your heart is. Sometimes you just have to find a new home. Originally writing his memoir in order to bridge the gap between generations within his own family, Sanchez has since come to realize the importance of preserving history from the perspectives of the participants for all to see. Now he shares his life story.

Download or read book Ship of Darkness written by Joshua Kinser and published by . This book was released on 2014-12-16 with total page 342 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to the dark side-of ship life.Travel into the heart of cruise ship darkness with this laugh-out-loud true story of survival on the high seas. Go where no passenger has gone before and explore what it's really like to work on the kind of cruise ship that crew members call a "ship of darkness". From the author of Cruise Ships Do Funny Things To Me, this third book in the Chronicles of a Cruise Ship Crew Member series begins when the author and his always-optimistic girlfriend are transferred to the MS Barnacle-the kind of ship that could play the lead role in a horror flick. But there's a silver lining to the ship swap, the MS Barnacle is cruising around the Mediterranean's most exclusive, exotic, and enchanting ports. Climb aboard the ship of darkness and explore the often seedy and always fast-paced world of cruise ship art auctions as the self-proclaimed pair of pirates set sail on a hilarious port-hopping adventure along the coast of Italy, Spain, Greece, and France. This cruise ship memoir not only explores the sometimes Dickensian life that crew members live below deck, but also examines the fine and watery line between reality and the power of positive thinking. And it's a story where you'll finally discover the answers to your cruise ship questions such as: What do you do when you find a sea monster living inside the drain of your stateroom toilet? Will there be ice cream machines on the life rafts if the MS Barnacle sinks? And what's the phone number of an experienced maritime lawyer?

Download or read book It s Always Windy on Trash Night written by Hugh W. Rardin and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2008-10-17 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are a lot of little things in life that get overlooked. Rardin makes his point in an irreverent look at lifes idiosyncrasies and craziness as only he can scrutinize. Jumping from one topic to another in a harebrained tour of our mundane lives and the things that most people think about but never talk about, Rardin delivers a tome that is sure to tickle. Spanning the gamut from the brutality of boredom to the excitement of discovery in a book that flows from the obvious to heart wrenching recollections of a childhood wrapped around a father who did more than his share of bonding, you will laugh, love, yawn and cry. Everyone knows that it is always windy on trash night. The bane of every dad who has ever had to take out the trash. Thats how its set up in the grand scheme of things. Its Always Windy On Trash Night so trash morning is always special.

Download or read book Funny Comments Cruise Ship Passengers written by Bradley Mckay and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-05-07 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The book began sixteen years ago, whilst walking on the pier in an exotic destination. A passenger approached me and blurted out the most bizarre question I had ever heard. I grabbed the nearest piece of paper, and wrote the comment down in order to capture the moment to share with my fellow crew members later on. From that day forth, I carried a piece of paper in my top pocket to capture the moment as it was said. I used the 10 second rule, to give the passenger the chance to realise what it was they had said. The result of recording these questions and statements throughout the years gave me the inspiration to write this book. At the time of hearing the comments, I had a burning desire to reply with an equally bizarre answer. However, I had some empathy due to them being on a cruise which can have an effect on some people's grasp of reality. As you navigate through this book, some questions where so outrageous, that I was completely baffled and had no response to include. I have personally witnessed every comment in this book, including the horrific spelling and grammatical errors produced in written comments. I hope you enjoy reading each comment and look out for some that you may have said yourself. After all we can all say things that seem perfectly reasonable at the time when on holiday.

Download or read book The God Who Stays written by Matthew West and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2022-09-06 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever felt adrift and alone after losing a job, a dream, a loved one, or your sense of purpose in life? In The God Who Stays, Matthew West uses stories and Scripture to encourage you that wherever you are and whatever you’re going through, God is right by your side—and nothing can separate you from His love and grace. Through the dramatic events of 2020 and the ensuing uncertainty and anxiety ever since, people’s lives and illusions of security have been turned upside down. Whenever our plans, hopes, and dreams are put on hold—or worse, lost forever—we feel discouraged, lost, and isolated, and desperately praying, “God, where are You?” Matthew West’s newest book, The God Who Stays, is an engaging and thoughtful exploration, balanced with his trademark wit and humor, that helps us reconnect to the biblical truth of Immanuel—“God with us”—a personal Savior who never leaves our side and who always answers when we cry out for help. The God Who Stays contains: An exploration of the character of the God who faithfully travels with us through every season of our life Encouragement in a time of isolation and anxiety that many have been experiencing Personal stories, experiences, and discoveries from Matthew’s own faith journey In his most personal book yet, join Matthew on a spiritual journey of rediscovery and revival inspired by the words of his hit song “The God Who Stays.” Renew your faith and find rest and healing through biblical truth.

Download or read book One Hit Wonder written by Charlie Carillo and published by Kensington Publishing Corp.. This book was released on 2010-10-01 with total page 476 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Carillo has an easy way with breezy prose and likeable characters. –Publishers Weekly From the acclaimed author of Raising Jake comes the hilarious, heartfelt story of a former pop star who goes back to his roots--to answer the age-old question,"Whatever happened to. . .?" Back in the Eighties, Mickey DeFalco was America's teenage heartthrob with spiky gelled hair, slanted sideburns, and a number-one hit single--"Sweet Days"--a sappy love song he wrote after his high school sweetheart, Lynn Mahoney, broke his heart. Now approaching middle age, Mickey is lucky to land a singing gig at a bar mitzvah. So the one-hit wonder-boy is making a different kind of comeback--returning to his old stomping grounds in Queens, living with his parents, and sleeping in his childhood bed. Just like in high school. And speaking of blasts from the past, Lynn is also back in town--as beautiful, beguiling, and baffling as ever. . . Sometimes life can feel like a broken record. But even a one-hit wonder deserves a second chance. "A superb comic novelist. . .hilarious and truthful."--Sally Jenkins Queens-born Charlie Carillo is the acclaimed author of My Ride with Gus and Raising Jake. He worked at the New York Post as a journalist for many years, and now divides his time between New York City and London, England, where he works as an independent television producer.

Download or read book Dollars to Soweto written by Thabang Molefi and published by Trafford Publishing. This book was released on 2012-07-17 with total page 143 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dear Reader If you are reading this book, you are either trying out my book or have already bought a copy. Whether you are already an entrepreneur, an aspiring entrepreneur, or the supporter of an entrepreneur, read on. I had you in mind when I wrote this book. The book offers a window into my life story as an entrepreneur so as to enable you to recognize and identify with my experiences. Business can be rewarding and fulfilling, but some of its challenges can destroy you if you are not prepared to deal with them. This is especially the case if you focus too much on disappointments, rather than see beyond your current obstacle. This book offers encouragement and examples to help you to persevere and not give up on your dream. You will see and learn why setbacks and even suffering do not always come merely to injure, but can also generate insights an opportunities to enable you to achieve beyond your expectation. As you read and digest my lessons learned, I hope you will glean from my experience the resolve to climb mountains and reach beautiful valleys in your ventures. I hope you will find the courage to discover new oceans and experience the power of money and wealth.

Download or read book The Dreamboat Experience Trilogy written by Parker Avrile and published by Paris April Press. This book was released on 2022-04-04 with total page 319 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gay romance is all fun in the sun... until it isn't. Billionaire's son Sheldon is shocked to find himself disinherited and working on a cruise ship. Undercover reporter Kyler is equally perplexed to find himself posing as a tech multimillionaire in the luxury suite. Romcom meets beach romance meets m/m love/hate at first sight. This high-steam volume includes all three novels in the Dreamboat Experience trilogy: * The Loveboat Experience * The Dreamboat Experience * The Island Experience Your favorite gay romance (male/male romance) vacation tropes include the spoiled billionaire's son, secret identities, cruise ship and beach romance, and even an island castaway romance. If you loved Parker Avrile's Assured Elites and Last Chances Academy gay romance series, you'll love The Dreamboat Experience Trilogy.

Download or read book Wise Her Still Three Fold written by Tiffany Buckner and published by Tiffany Buckner. This book was released on with total page 310 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wise Her Still Three-Fold (The Book of Revocation) is a powerful and revelatory guide designed to help you to get to revelation knowledge without having to go through the valley of experience. This book highlights the bad choices that are common to today's generation of women and that will likely be commonplace for the generations to come. This book will help you to get a God's-eye-view of yourself so that you can revoke every ungodly process that's active in your life.

Download or read book Finishing Touches written by Jean Kerr and published by Dramatists Play Service Inc. This book was released on 1973 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE STORY: Katy and Jeff Cooper have three sons (one a Harvard senior), a comfortable suburban home, and the prospect of a full professorship (English) for Jeff. But somehow the bloom has worn off their marriage: Jeff is at that dangerous age where