Download or read book Rules of Estrangement written by Joshua Coleman, PhD and published by Random House. This book was released on 2024-09-03 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.

Download or read book Brothers Sisters Strangers written by Fern Schumer Chapman and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-04-06 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A warm, empathetic guide to understanding, coping with, and healing from the unique pain of sibling estrangement "Whenever I tell people that I am working on a book about sibling estrangement, they sit up a little straighter and lean in, as if I've tapped into a dark secret." Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of forty years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research, interviewing psychologists and estranged siblings as well as recording the extraordinary story of her own rift with her brother--and subsequent reconciliation. Brothers, Sisters, Strangers is the result--a thoughtfully researched memoir that illuminates both the author's own story and the greater phenomenon of estrangement. Chapman helps readers work through the challenges of rebuilding a sibling relationship that seems damaged beyond repair, as well as understand when estrangement is the best option. It is at once a detailed framework for understanding sibling estrangement, a beacon of solidarity and comfort for the estranged, and a moving memoir about family trauma, addiction, grief, and recovery.

Download or read book Fault Lines written by Karl Pillemer, Ph.D. and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2022-11-01 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Real solutions to a hidden epidemic: family estrangement. Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved--collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations, More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families. Fault Lines shares for the first time findings from Dr. Pillemer's ten-year groundbreaking Cornell Reconciliation Project, based on the first national survey on estrangement; rich, in-depth interviews with hundreds of people who have experienced it; and insights from leading family researchers and therapists. He assures people who are estranged, and those who care about them, that they are not alone and that fissures can be bridged. Through the wisdom of people who have "been there," Fault Lines shows how healing is possible through clear steps that people can use right away in their own families. It addresses such questions as: How do rifts begin? What makes estrangement so painful? Why is it so often triggered by a single event? Are you ready to reconcile? How can you overcome past hurts to build a new future with a relative? Tackling a subject that is achingly familiar to almost everyone, especially in an era when powerful outside forces such as technology and mobility are lessening family cohesion, Dr. Pillemer combines dramatic stories, science-based guidance, and practical repair tools to help people find the path to reconciliation.

Download or read book Constructive Wallowing written by Tina Gilbertson and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-05-19 with total page 159 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Constructive wallowing” seems like an oxymoron. Constructive is a good thing, but wallowing is bad. Right? But wait a minute; is it really so terrible to give ourselves a time-out to feel our feelings? Or is it possible that wallowing is an act of loving kindness, right when we need it most? Just about everyone loves the idea of self-compassion -- the notion that maybe in spite of our messy emotions and questionable behavior, we really aren’t all that bad. In recent years there’s been an explosion of books that encourage readers to stop beating themselves up for being human, which is terrific. Unfortunately, readers who aren’t interested in Buddhism or meditation have been left out in the cold. Self-compassion is an everyday habit that everyone can learn, even if they a) aren't particularly spiritual, b) find most books about self-compassion too serious, or else c) have already overdosed on meditation. Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them is the first book to cut right to the chase, bypassing descriptions of Eastern philosophy and meditation techniques to teach readers exactly how to accept and feel their feelings with self-compassion for greater emotional health and well-being … while making them laugh from time to time. It seems that the wisdom of “keeping your friends close and your enemies closer” applies to emotions as well as people. It’s tempting to turn away from menacing, uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief or regret and treat them like unwanted guests; however, ignoring them just seems to make them stick around. They lurk in the background like punks with switchblades, waiting to pounce as soon as they see an opening. By learning to accept and embrace, rather than suppress, difficult feelings, people can keep their sense of personal power and, better yet, gain greater understanding and ultimately esteem for themselves. Feeling bad can actually lead to feeling better, faster!

Download or read book The Real Rules of Life written by Ken Druck, Ph.D. and published by Hay House, Inc. This book was released on 2012-05-15 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We are brought up to believe a certain set of rules: The early bird gets the worm. Slow and steady wins the race. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Good things happen to good people. Keep your faith, work hard, and all your dreams will come true. But then we grow up. We learn that life isn’t really fair. There are no fairy godmothers, and not everything works out in the end, no matter how good we have been or how hard we’ve tried. Why, then, are these myths perpetuated? Because clichés and over-simple recipes for living provide a soothing way to manage our daily lives without confronting the harsh reality that some parts of our lives are out of our control. For several decades, Ken Druck has been willing to stand up and write about what we have hidden from ourselves for so long: we need to confront life as it is, not as we want it to be. We cannot magically wish things into reality. We cannot expect happiness or success to manifest from daily affirmations. By embracing the real rules of life, we discover life’s terms and learn to balance them with our own, preventing costly psychological debts and developing the life skills, underlying wisdom, and emotional freedom essential for fuller, richer lives. This book will resonate with what readers know to be true about how life really is. Readers will discover themselves in vibrant teaching stories from the front lines of Dr. Druck’s pioneering work with individuals, families, communities, leaders, and cutting-edge organizations. They will push the refresh button on long-held myths and limitations, turning them into empower truths, redirecting their lives in much more effective and purposeful ways, and reinvigorating the pursuit of their dream.

Download or read book Done With The Crying written by Sheri McGregor and published by . This book was released on 2016-04-30 with total page 351 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this encouraging book, Sheri McGregor helps parents of estranged adult children break free from emotional pain and move forward in their lives. With the latest research, her own experience, and insight from more than 9,000 parents, McGregor covers the growing trend of estranged adults from loving families. Devastated parents can be happy again.

Download or read book Discovering the Inner Mother written by Bethany Webster and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-01-05 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sure to become a classic on female empowerment, a groundbreaking exploration of the personal, cultural, and global implications of intergenerational trauma created by patriarchy, how it is passed down from mothers to daughters, and how we can break this destructive cycle. Why do women keep themselves small and quiet? Why do they hold back professionally and personally? What fuels the uncertainty and lack of confidence so many women often feel? In this paradigm-shifting book, leading feminist thinker Bethany Webster identifies the source of women’s trauma. She calls it the Mother Wound—the systemic disenfranchisement of women by the patriarchy—and reveals how this cycle is perpetuated by wounded mothers who unconsciously pass on damaging beliefs and behaviors to their daughters. In her workshops, online courses, and talks, Webster has helped countless women re-examine their lives and their relationships with their mothers, giving them the vocabulary to voice their pain, and encouraging them to share their experiences. In this manifesto and self-help guide, she offers practical tools for identifying the manifestations of the Mother Wound in our daily life and strategies we can use to heal ourselves and prevent our daughters from enduring the same pain. In addition, she offers step-by-step advice on how to reconnect with our inner child, grieve the mother we didn’t have, stop people-pleasing, and, ultimately, transform our heartache and anger into healing and self-love. Revealing how women are affected by the Mother Wound, even if they don’t personally identify as survivors, Discovering the Inner Mother revolutionizes how we view mother-daughter relationships and gives us the inspiration and guidance we need to improve our lives and ultimately create a more equitable society for all.

Download or read book Coping with Estrangement written by Amanda Libbers and published by WestBow Press. This book was released on 2019-10-03 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is about how to handle coping with estrangement as one person to another being the estranged. It does not cover estrangement in the form of marriage or divorce, or being estranged from a friend. While it is possible for multiple estrangements to occur simultaneously, the book one focuses on one person to another. It uses the bible, and information that I learned from the Holy Spirit to the reader learn to live with estrangement, and improve the quality of their lives at the same time. The book contains journal entries that the reader can do if they choose. This book is motivational, inspirational, and is not a behavioral science approach to coping with estrangement, but is solely a Christian’s perspective.

Download or read book Courageous Aging written by Ken Druck and published by Morgan James Publishing. This book was released on 2017-06-16 with total page 147 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “An inspirational guide for aging with confidence packed with insight and wisdom for living life to its fullest. A must read” (John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus). When it comes to getting older, there are so many destructive and limiting myths, biases, stereotypes, and misconceptions. In this book, Dr. Ken Druck, drawing on both his personal and professional experience, shows how people can make peace with—and find joy in—every stage of life. It offers a refreshingly realistic view of the aging process, touching upon its physical and psychological challenges, its aches and pains and feelings of vulnerability—as well as the new peace, freedom, and confidence it can give birth to. This practical and inspirational approach speaks to anyone who wants to redefine what it means to age and embrace the transition into a new chapter in life, filled with potential.

Download or read book Estranged Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart written by Julie Plagens and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-02-27 with total page 158 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart, Julie Plagens shares about her life as a child of well-known parents in full-time ministry and the hardships it puts on families to maintain an image of perfection. After many years of anger and unforgiveness, Julie and her husband walked away from the family to find healing after a life-altering health diagnosis. This is the amazing story of how God knitted a Christian family back together through a series of miracles that can only be explained by divine intervention after seven years of estrangement. This book is written for families who are struggling to get along in a healthy manner all the way to those who are experiencing a full-blown family estrangement. Julie gives her story from the perspective of an estranged adult child but also gives tips for parents and adult children who are struggling to find a connection between the two generations. Julie's mother, Joanne Ventura, wrote the afterword to help parents who are struggling with the rejection of their adult children. Estranged is unique in that it not only gives personal stories from both sides of the estrangement (which is rare), but it also gives tips to help families move towards hope and healing, even if there is never reconciliation. This is a must read for anyone dealing with shame, anger, rejection, and unforgiveness. You can find hope when your family falls apart.

Download or read book Family Estrangements written by Barbara LeBey and published by Taylor Trade Publishing. This book was released on 2002 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Written with clarity, intelligence, and deep compassion, Family Estrangements offers a penetrating and useful look at the common problems that can damage family relationships.

Download or read book When Parents Hurt written by Joshua Coleman, PhD and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A unique book helping parents whose relationship with their older or adult child has not turned out as they expected deal with their pain, shame, and sense of loss, and take steps toward healing. This unique book supports parents who have lost the opportunity to be the parent they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child. Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents: • Reduce anger, guilt, and shame • Learn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner’s mistakes, and divorce can harm the parent-child bond • Come to terms with their imperfections and their child’s • Develop strategies for reaching out and for maintaining their self-esteem through trying times • Understand how society’s expectations contribute to the risk of parental wounds. By helping parents recognize what they can do and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of relating to themselves and each other.

Download or read book Children of the Self Absorbed written by Nina W Brown and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2008-04-01 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. From the author of Working with the Self-Absorbed and Loving the Self-Absorbed, this major revision of a self-help classic offers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent. Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, you'll discover that you're not helpless against your parent's behavior and that you needn't consider giving up on the relationship. Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help you fulfill your needs and expectations.

Download or read book I Thought We d Never Speak Again written by Laura Davis and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2013-04-30 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In her classic books The Courage to Heal and Allies in Healing, Laura Davis helped millions cope with the trauma of child sexual abuse. Her supportive guide Becoming the Parent You Want to Be taught parents to create a vision for their families. Now, in I Thought We'd Never Speak Again, she tackles another critical, emerging issue: reconciling relationships sundered by betrayal, anger, and misunderstanding. With her trademark clarity and compassion, Davis maps the reconciliation process through gripping firstperson stories of people who have reconciled under a wide variety of difficult circumstances. In these pages, parents reconcile with children, embittered siblings reconnect, estranged friends reunite, and war veterans and crime victims meet with their enemies. Davis weaves these powerful accounts with her own experiences reconciling with her mother after a long, painful estrangement. Making a crucial distinction between reconciliation and forgiveness, Davis explains how people can make peace in relationships without necessarily forgiving past hurts. Step by step, she clarifies the qualities needed for reconciliation-including maturity, discernment, determination, courage, communication, and compassion. To help readers gauge their own readiness, she includes a self-assessment entitled "Are You Ready for Reconciliation?" as well as a special section called "Ideas for Reflection and Discussion." On each page of this inspiring and instructive book, Laura Davis offers hope and help for reconciliation between individuals, and in the larger human family, sharing essential keys for resolving troubled relationships and finding peace.

Download or read book A Little Life written by Hanya Yanagihara and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2016-01-26 with total page 833 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.

Download or read book Healing From Family Rifts written by Mark Sichel and published by McGraw Hill Professional. This book was released on 2004-03-02 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ten steps to surviving a family rift, finding peace, and moving on A family rift is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can face. It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. Healing From Family Rifts offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing and fulfillment. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome, including: A 10-step process to come to terms with the family dynamics that led to the split Methods to find peace and personal reconciliation Skills that help to build a second family of people whose values are in line with one's own Techniques to fight feelings of guilt when faced with a family rift Includes inspiring and instructive stories drawn from the author's patients that help readers put their own situations in perspective.

Download or read book Family Estrangements written by Barbara LeBey and published by Bantam. This book was released on 2003-01-01 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mending the Ties That Bind Divorce; disputes over inheritances, family business, or elder care. Rifts over marriage partners, career choices, or sexual orientation--these are just some of the many ways that even close families can break apart. Yet this all-too-common and often devastating family problem, and its emotional fallout, has gone virtually unaddressed…until now. In this remarkable book, Barbara LeBey, an Atlanta attorney and former judge, who herself suffered and resolved a family estrangement, shares the stories of people from every walk of life and of every age and race, to show how such rifts often begin and how they can usually be resolved. Working closely with two family therapists, LeBey offers a set of tested guidelines to help you approach alienated or angry family members, deal with your own issues, and mend your broken family relationships--even if you think it may already be too late. Compassionate, practical, and full of rich insight, this book is a beacon of hope and healing to which families everywhere will turn again and again.