Download or read book Betoota isms written by The Betoota Advocate and published by Pan Australia. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide to The Betoota Advocate's most memorable slang, nicknames and sayings. The Betoota Advocate prides itself as not only Australia's oldest newspaper, but also its most ardent documenter of our nation's ever-changing language. Betoota-isms is a deep dive into Australian culture, invention and creativity with a complete record of 'English' as it is used from the Member's Box of the MCG to the change rooms of the Betoota Dolphins rugby league club. Discover the meaning of the Michelle Pfeiffer (the Pfizer). Identify, with confidence, our nation's leaders: Scotty from Marketing, Dictator Dan and Hot Mess Gladys. Ask your mate to pick you up a Bachelor's Handbag and some bread rolls on his next run to Coles. As authoritative as the Macquarie Dictionary and as exhaustive as a Fortitude Valley pub crawl, Betoota-isms is your one-stop guide to the grandeur of the great Australian vernacular.

Download or read book John Goblikon s Guide to Living Your Best Life written by John Goblikon and published by . This book was released on 2021-09-07 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a world filled with trolls, we all need to live life more like a goblin. What does it mean to "live life like a goblin"? It means to give no fucks, but also all the fucks in the world at the same time. It means to be constantly anxiety ridden while also eternally optimistic. A goblin's heart, specifically John Goblikon's, is filled with love, joy, angst, constant quandary, Chili's Southwestern Egg rolls, metal, and empathy. Through the goblin eyes of being an internet-celebrity-insurance-salesman-rock and roll-mascot for the Goblin Metal outfit NEKROGOBLIKON, we learn about life, death, business, food, music, travel, culture, dating, school, drinking, compassion, and much more! John walks readers through crucial life steps, from becoming internet famous, to getting dates with special someones, to even correct ordering techniques for the perfect meal at Chili's. Have a problem? John Goblikon assumes he knows how to help you solve it...all in this new, for-sure-to-be-a-New-York-Times-bestseller-and-win-like-a-hundred-awards debut book: John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life.

Download or read book The Chic Diet written by Kit Olsen and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2014-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I know that it might be, like, gauche of me to spill the secrets of my chic brethren, but the rest of the world has a right to know. So I've gone ahead and compiled a really long list of some tactics that I have observed my friends and colleagues employ in order to lose weight. And I'm, like, a really good source because I went to a super legit fashion school and I did a bunch of internships at really fancy places. ... Just so you know, this book is totally just FYI and is completely satirical. Like, I just want to make you laugh, or something. No one should take any of this to heart ... I really love the people in my life, but ... they're obvi unhinged and their habits should definitely not be emulated.--Foreword, page 8.

Download or read book Fuck Off I m Coloring written by Dare You Stamp Co. and published by Dare You Stamp Company. This book was released on 2016-09-06 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Color the living shit out of this new stress-relieving, fucking swear word adult coloring book! With daily stresses like annoying coworkers, red-faced bosses, endless traffic, and whatever shit you have going on at home, sometimes all you need to do is to tell everyone to “fuck the fuck off”. Now you can say it in color! - There are more ways to say “fuck you” than ever with this collection of over 50 satisfyingly inappropriate coloring pages. - Relieve some stress with easy and beautiful art—that also happens to feature your favorite profanities. Feel the zen wash over you as you color in or outside the lines however you damn well please. - Take your defiance up a notch with more complex patterns, or take the easy route when you unwind. No matter what you do, make sure you do whatever the fuck you want!

Download or read book Images You Should Not Masturbate To written by Graham Johnson and published by Perigee Trade. This book was released on 2011 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier. Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

Download or read book The Betoota Advocate Round Up written by The Betoota Advocate and published by . This book was released on 2016-11-01 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of the best plus a host of new material from 'Australia's oldest newspaper', a hugely popular online satricial 'news' service The BETOOTA ADVOCATE claims to hail from the Queensland town of Betoota (pop: 0) and be Australia's oldest newspaper. Since venturing online in 2014, it has quickly become a player in online 'news' and entertainment, punching far above its weight, given not a word of it is true, and it was launched by three young blokes with not much more than a laptop and a distinctively larrikin Aussie humour. Several of its so-called 'news' stories have been reported as fact by major news services, including Channel Nine, which reran the story of a parking policeman who booked himself, and radio 4BC, which re-reported the story of 78-year-old Reg 'Slim' Flynn, a former prize fighter who took out three would-be home invaders. Now it's time to bring together the Betoota's best stories with a host of new material, including news, sport, human interest, crosswords - even the classifieds - in an inhale-on-Christmas-day-and-make-your-drunk-uncle-laugh collection. 'The Betoota Advocate shall reign supreme as the global purveyor of eternal truth' - Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce

Download or read book Trixie and Katya s Guide to Modern Womanhood written by Trixie Mattel and published by Random House. This book was released on 2020-07-16 with total page 237 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Drag superstars Trixie Mattel and Katya have long captivated fans with their stunning looks, onscreen chemistry, and signature wit. In Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood, the pair channel that energy into an old-school etiquette guide for ladies. In essays and how-to sections peppered with hilarious, gorgeous photos, Trixie and Katya will advise readers on beauty and fashion and tackle other vital components of a happy home, such as money, entertaining and friendship; sharing advice and personal stories in high-concept fashion. Informative, humorous, and heartwarming, Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood is the book that their fans have been waiting for.

Download or read book The Communist Manifesto written by Dick Cody Heese and published by Dick Cody Heese. This book was released on 2021-06-15 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: PLEASE READ: Widely loathed parody author Dick Cody Heese is responsible for this poorly-conceived spoof of Marx and Engels' "The Communist Manifesto." Written at the Hooters in Saugus, Massachusetts, in the span of 45 minutes, "The Communist Manifesto: But Tony Hawk Can Keep His Stuff" asks the question: What would change about the Communist Manifesto had Tony Hawk existed during the time of Marx and Engels? Heese's resounding conclusion is that the seminal document in political theory would have included exceptions allowing Tony Hawk to retain his private property in recognition of his gnarly skateboarding abilities and personable demeanor. In an act of parodic historical revisionism, Heese amends the Manifesto to include several sentence-long additions to each of its four parts to make this change on behalf of the original authors. In doing so, he saves Marx and Engels from becoming a casualty of their time given their inability to foresee the bodacious shredding a Californian skateboarder would accomplish nearly a century after their deaths. Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby-Kevin," and "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God."

Download or read book Dangerous Acquaintances written by Choderlos de Laclos and published by Penguin. This book was released on 1961 with total page 404 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An epistolary novel chronicles the cruel seduction of a young girl by two ruthless, eighteenth-century aristocrats

Download or read book Kitty Flanagan s Complete Set of Rules written by Kitty Flanagan and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Complete Set of Rules is Kitty Flanagan's way of helping you help others to be less annoying. A two-book bundle comprising 488 Rules for Life and More Rules for Life.

Download or read book The Lost Love Song written by Minnie Darke and published by Random House. This book was released on 2020-03-03 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A feel-good romance by the author of Star-crossed, perfect for anyone who loves David Nicholls, Marian Keyes and Jojo Moyes. Arie and Diana were destined to be together. Arie falls for Diana in a heartbeat. Their love creates a life for them, a marriage and a home. Pianist Diana wants to capture this in a song for Arie. But that’s not where the story ends... After Diana debuts their song to a room full of strangers, tragedy strikes and Arie never gets to hear it. There’s still a verse to come. Diana’s melody lives beyond her and the lost love song begins to find its way back home. Can it help Arie to find new hope, and a new love? Readers love Minnie Darke 'Witty, mischievous and intelligent... if you enjoy Marian Keyes or Mhairi McFarlane, you'll enjoy this. 'A clever and witty comedy' 'Warm, funny, addictive, I couldn’t put it down.' 'A smart and funny novel' 'Beautifully written with warmth and wit... a truly delightful read.' 'Uplifting, romantic and fabulous... I loved this charming book.'

Download or read book As Swallows Fly written by L.P. McMahon and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-03-03 with total page 319 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Malika, a young orphan in rural Pakistan, is savagely attacked, her face is left disfigured and her self-esteem destroyed. Haunted by the assault, she hides from the world, finding solace in her mathematical theories. A few years later, her intellectual brilliance is discovered and she leaves conflict-stricken Pakistan for a better education in Melbourne, where she finds herself placed with Kate—a successful plastic surgeon facing emotional insecurities of her own. Malika and Kate’s lives slowly intertwine as they find within each other what each has lacked alone. At first, Kate’s skills appear to offer a simple solution to Malika’s anguish, but when tragedy strikes, the price of beauty is found to be much higher than either of them could have known. As Swallows Fly is a poignant portrayal of survival, identity and empowerment in a culture dominated by the pursuit of perfection. In a captivating and unforgettable debut, McMahon asks what might be possible if we have the courage to be flawed.

Download or read book Heavily Meditated written by Caitlin Cady and published by Hardie Grant Publishing. This book was released on 2020-03-01 with total page 298 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A down-to-earth guide to meditation and getting high on life. Heavily Meditated has everything you need to know to get hooked on meditation for good. Presented in a simple, friendly, accessible style that even the busiest of meditation-doubters can relate to, this book clearly outlines: What meditation is Five fundamental meditation techniques (and which one is right for you) Where, when and how to sit How to deal with thoughts Why meditation is so damn good for you How to measure your meditation practice How to set goals and get hooked on meditation How to upgrade your practice from habit to ritual. Filled with exercises, worksheets, cheat sheets and other practical tools, as well as relatable personal stories to light your way, Heavily Meditated is your down-to-earth guide to meditation, and how to turn it into a habit that sticks and reap the benefits of a happier, calmer and more intentional life.

Download or read book The Australian Dream written by The Betoota Advocate and published by Macmillan Publishers Aus.. This book was released on 2022-11-29 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After enduring fires, floods, pandemics, rising interest rates, $10 lettuces and another bin-fire of a federal election, many Australians are saying: 'We can't go on living like this.' Rather than plugging away relentlessly in some soulless city, why not pack it all in and start afresh? With Byron, Hobart and Noosa now resembling the overpriced shitholes their new residents fled from, Australians are flocking to a NEW hotspot: the thriving metropolis of Betoota. Here, amid the cosmopolitan bustle of the French Quarter and the circular driveways of Betoota Heights, you can build the life you dreamed of, whatever that may look like. This is a specially formatted fixed-layout ebook that retains the look and feel of the print book.

Download or read book Wild Place written by Christian White and published by Affirm Press. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the summer of 1989, a local teen goes missing from the idyllic suburb of Camp Hill in Australia. As rumours of Satanic rituals swirl, schoolteacher Tom Witter becomes convinced he holds the key to the disappearance. When the police won't listen, he takes matters into his own hands with the help of the missing girl's father and a local neighbourhood watch group. But as dark secrets are revealed and consequences to past actions are faced, Tom learns that the only way out of the darkness is to walk deeper into it. Wild Place peels back the layers of suburbia, exposing what's hidden underneath - guilt, desperation, violence - and attempts to answer the question: Why do good people do bad things? From the international bestseller Christian White, Wild Place is a white-knuckle descent into a street near you.

Download or read book The Fairytale written by H. G. Nelson and published by Macmillan Publishers Aus.. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A sporting nation is only limited by its imagination. Every time this story is told it changes; something is always added, embellished or dropped from the run-on side. For more than thirty years, H.G. Nelson has been finding the poetry in the punt and humour during half-time. Now, he turns his keen eye for facts and folly to the illustrious history of our great sporting nation. In his trademark fast and furious style, H.G. dives deep into the moments that have truly made us who we are. He reminds us of our leaders' great sporting triumphs, from Harold Holt's swimming to John Howard's bowling; rewrites the record on legends such as 'Aussie Joe' Bugner and Jack Brabham; and explains why Australia's reality TV is the best in the world. The Fairytale is H.G. Nelson's magnum opus - an all-encompassing, no-holds-barred history of Australia at play, told through the stories of our sporting highs, lows and middles.

Download or read book What I Lick Before Your Face written by Jamie Coleman and published by Atria Books. This book was released on 2019-10-08 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The one book every dog lover should have at their fingertips for an instant smile.” —The New Barker The perfect gift for dog lovers everywhere—a heartwarming and hilarious collection of sixty-four haikus and gorgeous color photographs celebrating man’s best friend. From the perks of face licking to considering what constitutes a good boy, these charming and laugh-out-loud funny haikus take us into the minds of our beloved pets. Capturing the quirky personalities of our dogs and their unique bond with us and illustrated throughout with adorable color photographs of dogs of all shapes and sizes, What I Lick Before Your Face is a fun and loving celebration of the canine spirit. Playing I do not believe That your fixation with my Playing Dead is fine Standing I sometimes feel bad That I don’t get as happy Whenever you sit The Outside Bell It is very rude That you don’t call out in joy When people arrive