Download or read book Betoota isms written by The Betoota Advocate and published by Pan Australia. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide to The Betoota Advocate's most memorable slang, nicknames and sayings. The Betoota Advocate prides itself as not only Australia's oldest newspaper, but also its most ardent documenter of our nation's ever-changing language. Betoota-isms is a deep dive into Australian culture, invention and creativity with a complete record of 'English' as it is used from the Member's Box of the MCG to the change rooms of the Betoota Dolphins rugby league club. Discover the meaning of the Michelle Pfeiffer (the Pfizer). Identify, with confidence, our nation's leaders: Scotty from Marketing, Dictator Dan and Hot Mess Gladys. Ask your mate to pick you up a Bachelor's Handbag and some bread rolls on his next run to Coles. As authoritative as the Macquarie Dictionary and as exhaustive as a Fortitude Valley pub crawl, Betoota-isms is your one-stop guide to the grandeur of the great Australian vernacular.

Download or read book John Goblikon s Guide to Living Your Best Life written by John Goblikon and published by . This book was released on 2021-09-07 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a world filled with trolls, we all need to live life more like a goblin. What does it mean to "live life like a goblin"? It means to give no fucks, but also all the fucks in the world at the same time. It means to be constantly anxiety ridden while also eternally optimistic. A goblin's heart, specifically John Goblikon's, is filled with love, joy, angst, constant quandary, Chili's Southwestern Egg rolls, metal, and empathy. Through the goblin eyes of being an internet-celebrity-insurance-salesman-rock and roll-mascot for the Goblin Metal outfit NEKROGOBLIKON, we learn about life, death, business, food, music, travel, culture, dating, school, drinking, compassion, and much more! John walks readers through crucial life steps, from becoming internet famous, to getting dates with special someones, to even correct ordering techniques for the perfect meal at Chili's. Have a problem? John Goblikon assumes he knows how to help you solve it...all in this new, for-sure-to-be-a-New-York-Times-bestseller-and-win-like-a-hundred-awards debut book: John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life.

Download or read book Discovering Scarfolk written by Richard Littler and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-11-20 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Scarfolk is a town in north-west England that did not progress beyond 1979. The entire decade of the 1970s loops ad infinitum. In Scarfolk children must not be seen OR heard, and everyone has to be in bed by 8 p.m. because they are perpetually running a slight fever..." Part-comedy, part-horror, part-satire, Discovering Scarfolk is the surreal account of a family trapped in the town. Through public information posters, news reports, books, tourist brochures and other ephermera, we learn about the darker side of childhood, school and society in Scarfolk. A massive cult hit online, Scarfolk re-creates with shiver-inducing accuracy and humour our most nightmarish childhood memories. FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE RE-READ.

Download or read book Images You Should Not Masturbate To written by Graham Johnson and published by Perigee Trade. This book was released on 2011 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier. Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

Download or read book The Betoota Advocate Round Up written by The Betoota Advocate and published by . This book was released on 2016-11-01 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of the best plus a host of new material from 'Australia's oldest newspaper', a hugely popular online satricial 'news' service The BETOOTA ADVOCATE claims to hail from the Queensland town of Betoota (pop: 0) and be Australia's oldest newspaper. Since venturing online in 2014, it has quickly become a player in online 'news' and entertainment, punching far above its weight, given not a word of it is true, and it was launched by three young blokes with not much more than a laptop and a distinctively larrikin Aussie humour. Several of its so-called 'news' stories have been reported as fact by major news services, including Channel Nine, which reran the story of a parking policeman who booked himself, and radio 4BC, which re-reported the story of 78-year-old Reg 'Slim' Flynn, a former prize fighter who took out three would-be home invaders. Now it's time to bring together the Betoota's best stories with a host of new material, including news, sport, human interest, crosswords - even the classifieds - in an inhale-on-Christmas-day-and-make-your-drunk-uncle-laugh collection. 'The Betoota Advocate shall reign supreme as the global purveyor of eternal truth' - Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce

Download or read book Trixie and Katya s Guide to Modern Womanhood written by Trixie Mattel and published by Random House. This book was released on 2020-07-16 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Drag superstars Trixie Mattel and Katya have long captivated fans with their stunning looks, onscreen chemistry, and signature wit. In Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood, the pair channel that energy into an old-school etiquette guide for ladies. In essays and how-to sections peppered with hilarious, gorgeous photos, Trixie and Katya will advise readers on beauty and fashion and tackle other vital components of a happy home, such as money, entertaining and friendship; sharing advice and personal stories in high-concept fashion. Informative, humorous, and heartwarming, Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood is the book that their fans have been waiting for.

Download or read book The Communist Manifesto written by Dick Cody Heese and published by Dick Cody Heese. This book was released on 2021-06-15 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: PLEASE READ: Widely loathed parody author Dick Cody Heese is responsible for this poorly-conceived spoof of Marx and Engels' "The Communist Manifesto." Written at the Hooters in Saugus, Massachusetts, in the span of 45 minutes, "The Communist Manifesto: But Tony Hawk Can Keep His Stuff" asks the question: What would change about the Communist Manifesto had Tony Hawk existed during the time of Marx and Engels? Heese's resounding conclusion is that the seminal document in political theory would have included exceptions allowing Tony Hawk to retain his private property in recognition of his gnarly skateboarding abilities and personable demeanor. In an act of parodic historical revisionism, Heese amends the Manifesto to include several sentence-long additions to each of its four parts to make this change on behalf of the original authors. In doing so, he saves Marx and Engels from becoming a casualty of their time given their inability to foresee the bodacious shredding a Californian skateboarder would accomplish nearly a century after their deaths. Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby-Kevin," and "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God."

Download or read book Dangerous Acquaintances written by Choderlos de Laclos and published by Penguin. This book was released on 1961 with total page 404 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An epistolary novel chronicles the cruel seduction of a young girl by two ruthless, eighteenth-century aristocrats

Download or read book As Swallows Fly written by L.P. McMahon and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-03-03 with total page 319 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Malika, a young orphan in rural Pakistan, is savagely attacked, her face is left disfigured and her self-esteem destroyed. Haunted by the assault, she hides from the world, finding solace in her mathematical theories. A few years later, her intellectual brilliance is discovered and she leaves conflict-stricken Pakistan for a better education in Melbourne, where she finds herself placed with Kate—a successful plastic surgeon facing emotional insecurities of her own. Malika and Kate’s lives slowly intertwine as they find within each other what each has lacked alone. At first, Kate’s skills appear to offer a simple solution to Malika’s anguish, but when tragedy strikes, the price of beauty is found to be much higher than either of them could have known. As Swallows Fly is a poignant portrayal of survival, identity and empowerment in a culture dominated by the pursuit of perfection. In a captivating and unforgettable debut, McMahon asks what might be possible if we have the courage to be flawed.

Download or read book The Lost Love Song written by Minnie Darke and published by Random House. This book was released on 2020-03-03 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A feel-good romance by the author of Star-crossed, perfect for anyone who loves David Nicholls, Marian Keyes and Jojo Moyes. Arie and Diana were destined to be together. Arie falls for Diana in a heartbeat. Their love creates a life for them, a marriage and a home. Pianist Diana wants to capture this in a song for Arie. But that’s not where the story ends... After Diana debuts their song to a room full of strangers, tragedy strikes and Arie never gets to hear it. There’s still a verse to come. Diana’s melody lives beyond her and the lost love song begins to find its way back home. Can it help Arie to find new hope, and a new love? Readers love Minnie Darke 'Witty, mischievous and intelligent... if you enjoy Marian Keyes or Mhairi McFarlane, you'll enjoy this. 'A clever and witty comedy' 'Warm, funny, addictive, I couldn’t put it down.' 'A smart and funny novel' 'Beautifully written with warmth and wit... a truly delightful read.' 'Uplifting, romantic and fabulous... I loved this charming book.'

Download or read book Heavily Meditated written by Caitlin Cady and published by Hardie Grant Publishing. This book was released on 2020-03-01 with total page 298 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A down-to-earth guide to meditation and getting high on life. Heavily Meditated has everything you need to know to get hooked on meditation for good. Presented in a simple, friendly, accessible style that even the busiest of meditation-doubters can relate to, this book clearly outlines: What meditation is Five fundamental meditation techniques (and which one is right for you) Where, when and how to sit How to deal with thoughts Why meditation is so damn good for you How to measure your meditation practice How to set goals and get hooked on meditation How to upgrade your practice from habit to ritual. Filled with exercises, worksheets, cheat sheets and other practical tools, as well as relatable personal stories to light your way, Heavily Meditated is your down-to-earth guide to meditation, and how to turn it into a habit that sticks and reap the benefits of a happier, calmer and more intentional life.

Download or read book The Australian Dream written by The Betoota Advocate and published by Macmillan Publishers Aus.. This book was released on 2022-11-29 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After enduring fires, floods, pandemics, rising interest rates, $10 lettuces and another bin-fire of a federal election, many Australians are saying: 'We can't go on living like this.' Rather than plugging away relentlessly in some soulless city, why not pack it all in and start afresh? With Byron, Hobart and Noosa now resembling the overpriced shitholes their new residents fled from, Australians are flocking to a NEW hotspot: the thriving metropolis of Betoota. Here, amid the cosmopolitan bustle of the French Quarter and the circular driveways of Betoota Heights, you can build the life you dreamed of, whatever that may look like. This is a specially formatted fixed-layout ebook that retains the look and feel of the print book.

Download or read book Man Out of Time written by Stephanie Bishop and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2018-08-28 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Stella's father, Leon, disappears in September 2001, the police knock at her door. She baulks at their questions, not sure how to answer. 'What if I just write it down for you.' One summer, a long time ago, Stella sat watching her father cry while the sky clouded over. He had tried to make amends: for his failures, for forgetting to buy the doll she once hoped for, for the terrible things he had done. The first time Stella sensed that something was wrong was on her ninth birthday. There was an accident, and when she opened her eyes there was the tang of blood in her mouth. Leon was beside her. But not quite there. In the winter, when her father finally came home from hospital, he looked different. Looked at her differently. Now he was missing, and Stella held the key to his discovery. But did he want to be found? And after all that has passed, could Stella bring herself to help him? Stella's whole life has been stained by her father's very struggle to exist. Would this be her inheritance too? Could she choose the steady minutes of an ordinary day? Or would she follow the path of a man out of time? A masterful and deeply moving novel about inheritance and self-destruction, and of how the memories we carry and the blood we share discolour our view of the world ... and ourselves.

Download or read book Facts and Other Lies written by Ed Coper and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2022-02-01 with total page 506 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From fringe conspiracy theories to 'alternative facts', a timely look at how we arrived in the 'fake news' era. Would your younger self believe the news of today? An entire city block blown up by a suicide bomber on Christmas Day because he believed phone towers spread disease. A Representative elected to the US Congress on a platform that Democrats are secretly harvesting an anti-aging chemical from the blood of abused children. Angry rioters in furs and horns overrun the Capitol in a bloody carnage of insurrection. The Prime Minister of Australia employing the wife of his friend who fronts a group the FBI has declared terrorists. A global pandemic which, even as they lie dying from it, people refuse to believe exists. Many who sat in shocked disbelief as these events beamed around the world asked the same question: 'How did we get here?' For those rioters, it was the culmination of a journey of online radicalisation that began with the weaponisation of disinformation by their political leaders and outrageously biased 'news' commentators. Facts and Other Lies puts fake news in its historical context and explains how disinformation has fractured society, even threatening democracy itself. It explains why disinformation is so potent and so hard to stop, and what we can do to help prevent its proliferation in Australia - where politicians and shock jocks are already operating from the same dark playbook. It outlines how anyone can defuse disinformation in the home, office or pub, or wherever the deluded gather to spread their nonsense. Be prepared! 'This is a timely account of a growing malignancy affecting all modern democracies' Kevin Rudd, former Prime Minister of Australia 'Ed Coper keenly explains how lying has been normalised in right wing media - both social and mainstream. The Trump-inspired attack on the US Capitol on 6 January is just one consequence. Coper deftly shows us what is to be done and offers some real solutions to restore trust in public discourse.' Malcolm Turnbull, former Prime Minister of Australia 'Fascinating and terrifying . . . illuminates so much about humans and social media' Bri Lee, author of Who Gets to Be Smart 'Read this book if you want to save democracy' Wayne Swan, former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia 'Few have mapped our information dystopia more effectively - and entertainingly - than Coper' Bernard Keane, Politics Editor, Crikey 'Essential reading for anyone wanting to cut through the nonsense and get to the truth' Eason Jordan, former Chief News Executive, CNN 'We live in a world that unfolds at a pace, and with the violent twists and turns in the plot, of a thriller. This book captures the intensity of our politics and connects it to the science of misinformation . . . a great read' Professor Stephan Lewandowsky, Chair in Cognitive Psychology, University of Bristol

Download or read book The Fairytale written by H. G. Nelson and published by Macmillan Publishers Aus.. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A sporting nation is only limited by its imagination. Every time this story is told it changes; something is always added, embellished or dropped from the run-on side. For more than thirty years, H.G. Nelson has been finding the poetry in the punt and humour during half-time. Now, he turns his keen eye for facts and folly to the illustrious history of our great sporting nation. In his trademark fast and furious style, H.G. dives deep into the moments that have truly made us who we are. He reminds us of our leaders' great sporting triumphs, from Harold Holt's swimming to John Howard's bowling; rewrites the record on legends such as 'Aussie Joe' Bugner and Jack Brabham; and explains why Australia's reality TV is the best in the world. The Fairytale is H.G. Nelson's magnum opus - an all-encompassing, no-holds-barred history of Australia at play, told through the stories of our sporting highs, lows and middles.

Download or read book The Year of the Farmer written by Rosalie Ham and published by Picador Australia. This book was released on 2018-09-25 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'A book that delights, appeals but never waivers in its brutal honesty. If you didn't laugh, you'd cry.' Sue Maslin, producer of The Dressmaker In a quiet farming town somewhere in country New South Wales, war is brewing. The last few years have been punishingly dry, especially for the farmers, but otherwise, it's all Neralie Mackintosh's fault. If she'd never left town then her ex, the hapless but extremely eligible Mitchell Bishop, would never have fallen into the clutches of the truly awful Mandy, who now lords it over everyone as if she owns the place. Now that Neralie has returned, the whole town is determined to reinstate her to her rightful position in the social order. But Mandy has other ideas. Meanwhile the head of the local water board is looking for a way to line her pockets at the expense of hardworking farmers. And Mandy and Neralie's war may be just the chance she was looking for... 'Rosalie Ham's love affair with the Australian landscape is a heartbeat on every page.' Canberra Times 'The Year of the Farmer is full of loveable larrikins and lying louses - all of them truly enjoyable, believable Aussie characters who will keep you turning the pages to find out what happens to them.' Daily Telegraph 'A tightly plotted, highly entertaining romp that poses some big questions.' Saturday Paper

Download or read book Table For Eight written by Tricia Stringer and published by HarperCollins Australia. This book was released on 2018-10-01 with total page 376 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author and master storyteller Tricia Stringer tackles troubled relationships, second chances and love old and new in this uplifting story of unlikely dining companions thrown together on a glamorous cruise. Readers of Liz Byrski, Monica McInerney and Rachael Johns will love this book. 'A delightful, wise and heart–warming novel about second chances that celebrates friendships old and new. I devoured every page.' Rachael Johns A cruise, no matter how magical, can't change your life. Can it...? Clever, charming dressmaker Ketty Clift is embarking on her final cruise from Sydney before she must make serious changes in her life. Supported by the ship's all-powerful maître d' Carlos, she has a mission: transform the lives of those who join her at her dining table every evening. Not only can Ketty turn Cinderellas into princesses with her legendary style-eye, but she has a gift for bringing people together. But this trip is different. As the glamour and indulgence of the cruise takes hold, and the ship sails further away from Sydney towards the Pacific Islands, it becomes clear that her fellow travellers - a troubled family, a grieving widower and an angry divorcee determined to wreak revenge on her ex - are going to be harder work than usual. As Ketty tries to deal with her own problems, including the unexpected arrival on board of her long-lost love, Leo - the man who broke her heart - as well as troubling news from home, she begins to realise this might be the one cruise that will defeat her.