Download or read book An Idiot Girl s Christmas written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2005-11-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: IT’S LAURIE NOTARO’S HOLIDAY HANDBOOK. PREPARE TO LAUGH YOUR TINSEL OFF. It’s the most wonderful–and most dreadful–season of the year, when boxes of truffles attack your thighs, drunken holiday revelers stay long past their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions at the department store over the price of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaro’s Christmastime. In ten brand-new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-it-yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency paramedics. So whether you find yourself at the Dull and Smart Party or the Raucous and Stupid Party this holiday season, you’ll always know where to find Laurie–just follow the chocolate trail over to the cheese platter. She’ll be the one dialing the cops.
Download or read book Quit Being an Idiot Life Lessons from The Golden Girls written by Robb Pearlman and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2023-09-26 with total page 156 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The wit and wisdom of The Golden Girls comes alive in this collection of short essays that examines many of the issues discussed on the hit TV show and how Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia handled them--written by #1 New York Times bestselling author Robb Pearlman. Over the years, Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia have remained roommates, confidants, and best friends no matter what life (or the stray ex) throws their way. Having handled life’s messy situations with style and humor, the Girls have a lanai’s worth of golden wisdom ready to share with you. Funny, irreverent, and timeless, the life lessons the Golden Girls bring from the television into your life are guaranteed to put a smile on your face, some warmth into your heart, and maybe even some St. Olaf into your thinking.
Download or read book The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-04-28 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity—and leave readers doubled over with laughter. Need proof? Check out The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death and try not to bust a gut. Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired—resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. In Notaro’s world, strangers are stranger than fiction. One must always check the hotel bathroom for hobo hairs and consciously remember not to stare at old men with giant man-boobies. And then there are the lessons she has learned the hard way: Though it may seem like a good idea, it’s best not to hire a tweaked-out homeless guy to clean up your yard. The Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.
Download or read book The Golden Girls Twas the Night Before Christmas written by Francesco Sedita and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2018-10-16 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrate this holiday season with the Golden Girls! 'Twas the night before Christmas and out on the lanai... This holiday season, celebrate with Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia. This illustrated gift book is a perfect stocking stuffer for fans of the show that won eleven Emmy Awards, three Golden Globes, and a place in pop culture fame as one of the best shows of all time.
Download or read book The Big Book of Christmas Novels Stories Myths Carols written by Mark Twain and published by e-artnow. This book was released on 2020-12-17 with total page 8303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Musaicum Books presents to you the greatest Christmas novels, magical Christmas tales, legends, most famous carols and the unique poetry of the giants of literature dedicated to this one and only holiday: The Gift of the Magi (O. Henry) The Holy Night (Selma Lagerlöf) A Merry Christmas & Other Christmas Stories (Louisa May Alcott) A Letter from Santa Claus (Mark Twain) Silent Night The Night After Christmas The Child Born at Bethlehem The Adoration of the Shepherds The Visit of the Wise Men As Joseph Was A-Walking The Tale of Peter Rabbit (Beatrix Potter) Where Love Is, God Is (Leo Tolstoy) The Three Kings (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) A Christmas Carol (Samuel Taylor Coleridge) Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (L. Frank Baum) Christmas At Sea (Robert Louis Stevenson) The Savior Must Have Been A Docile Gentleman (Emily Dickinson) The Heavenly Christmas Tree (Fyodor Dostoevsky) The Little City of Hope (F. Marion Crawford) The First Christmas Of New England (Harriet Beecher Stowe) Christmas in the Olden Time (Walter Scott) Christmas In India (Rudyard Kipling) A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens) The Twelve Days of Christmas The Wonderful Wizard of OZ (L. Frank Baum) Ring Out, Wild Bells (Alfred Lord Tennyson) Little Lord Fauntleroy (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Black Beauty (Anna Sewell) The Christmas Child (Hesba Stretton) Granny's Wonderful Chair (Frances Browne) The Romance of a Christmas Card (Kate Douglas Wiggin) Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) The Wonderful Life - Story of the life and death of our Lord (Hesba Stretton) The Christmas Angel (A. Brown) Christmas at Thompson Hall (Anthony Trollope) Christmas Every Day (William Dean Howells) The Lost Word (Henry van Dyke) The Nutcracker and the Mouse King (E. T. A. Hoffmann) The Little Match Girl The Elves and the Shoemaker Mother Holle The Star Talers Snow-White The Christmas Hirelings The Blue Carbuncle An Exciting Christmas Eve The Spirit of Christmas…
Download or read book The Santa s Library 450 Christmas Novels Tales Carols Legends written by Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson and published by Good Press. This book was released on 2023-12-15 with total page 8312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Good Press offers to you our own Christmas box – filled up to the top with the best Christmas novels, classics to read during holidays, magical Christmas tales, legends, most famous carols and the unique poetry of the giants of literature dedicated to this one and only holiday: The Gift of the Magi (O. Henry) The Holy Night (Selma Lagerlöf) A Merry Christmas & Other Christmas Stories (Louisa May Alcott) A Letter from Santa Claus (Mark Twain) Silent Night The Night After Christmas The Child Born at Bethlehem The Adoration of the Shepherds The Visit of the Wise Men As Joseph Was A-Walking The Tale of Peter Rabbit (Beatrix Potter) Where Love Is, God Is (Leo Tolstoy) The Three Kings (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) A Christmas Carol (Samuel Taylor Coleridge) Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (L. Frank Baum) Christmas At Sea (Robert Louis Stevenson) The Savior Must Have Been A Docile Gentleman (Emily Dickinson) The Heavenly Christmas Tree (Fyodor Dostoevsky) The Little City of Hope (F. Marion Crawford) The First Christmas Of New England (Harriet Beecher Stowe) Christmas in the Olden Time (Walter Scott) Christmas In India (Rudyard Kipling) A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens) The Twelve Days of Christmas The Wonderful Wizard of OZ (L. Frank Baum) Ring Out, Wild Bells (Alfred Lord Tennyson) Little Lord Fauntleroy (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Black Beauty (Anna Sewell) The Christmas Child (Hesba Stretton) Granny's Wonderful Chair (Frances Browne) The Romance of a Christmas Card (Kate Douglas Wiggin) Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) The Wonderful Life - Story of the life and death of our Lord (Hesba Stretton) The Christmas Angel (A. Brown) Christmas at Thompson Hall (Anthony Trollope) Christmas Every Day (William Dean Howells) The Lost Word (Henry van Dyke) The Nutcracker and the Mouse King (E. T. A. Hoffmann) The Little Match Girl The Elves and the Shoemaker Mother Holle The Star Talers Snow-White The Christmas Hirelings The Blue Carbuncle An Exciting Christmas Eve The Spirit of Christmas...
Download or read book The Santa s Great Treasure Chest 450 Christmas Novels Tales Carols Legends written by Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson and published by Good Press. This book was released on 2023-12-10 with total page 8223 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This winter, we are offering to you our own Christmas box – filled up to the top with the best Christmas novels, classics to read during holidays, magical Christmas tales, legends, most famous carols and the unique poetry of the giants of literature dedicated to this one and only holiday: The Gift of the Magi (O. Henry) The Holy Night (Selma Lagerlöf) A Merry Christmas & Other Christmas Stories (Louisa May Alcott) A Letter from Santa Claus (Mark Twain) Silent Night The Night After Christmas The Child Born at Bethlehem The Adoration of the Shepherds The Visit of the Wise Men As Joseph Was A-Walking The Tale of Peter Rabbit (Beatrix Potter) Where Love Is, God Is (Leo Tolstoy) The Three Kings (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) A Christmas Carol (Samuel Taylor Coleridge) Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (L. Frank Baum) Christmas At Sea (Robert Louis Stevenson) The Savior Must Have Been A Docile Gentleman (Emily Dickinson) The Heavenly Christmas Tree (Fyodor Dostoevsky) The Little City of Hope (F. Marion Crawford) The First Christmas Of New England (Harriet Beecher Stowe) Christmas in the Olden Time (Walter Scott) Christmas In India (Rudyard Kipling) A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens) The Twelve Days of Christmas The Wonderful Wizard of OZ (L. Frank Baum) Ring Out, Wild Bells (Alfred Lord Tennyson) Little Lord Fauntleroy (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Black Beauty (Anna Sewell) The Christmas Child (Hesba Stretton) Granny's Wonderful Chair (Frances Browne) The Romance of a Christmas Card (Kate Douglas Wiggin) Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) The Wonderful Life - Story of the life and death of our Lord (Hesba Stretton) The Christmas Angel (A. Brown) Christmas at Thompson Hall (Anthony Trollope) Christmas Every Day (William Dean Howells) The Lost Word (Henry van Dyke) The Nutcracker and the Mouse King (E. T. A. Hoffmann) The Little Match Girl The Elves and the Shoemaker Mother Holle The Star Talers Snow-White The Christmas Hirelings The Blue Carbuncle An Exciting Christmas Eve The Spirit of Christmas...
Download or read book Big Book of Christmas Novels Tales Legends Carols Illustrated Edition written by Mark Twain and published by e-artnow. This book was released on 2019-11-26 with total page 8458 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: e-artnow presents to you the greatest Christmas novels, magical Christmas tales, legends, most famous carols and the unique poetry of the giants of literature dedicated to this one and only holiday: The Gift of the Magi (O. Henry) The Holy Night (Selma Lagerlöf) A Merry Christmas & Other Christmas Stories (Louisa May Alcott) A Letter from Santa Claus (Mark Twain) Silent Night The Night After Christmas The Child Born at Bethlehem The Adoration of the Shepherds The Visit of the Wise Men As Joseph Was A-Walking The Tale of Peter Rabbit (Beatrix Potter) Where Love Is, God Is (Leo Tolstoy) The Three Kings (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) A Christmas Carol (Samuel Taylor Coleridge) Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (L. Frank Baum) Christmas At Sea (Robert Louis Stevenson) The Savior Must Have Been A Docile Gentleman (Emily Dickinson) The Heavenly Christmas Tree (Fyodor Dostoevsky) The Little City of Hope (F. Marion Crawford) The First Christmas Of New England (Harriet Beecher Stowe) Christmas in the Olden Time (Walter Scott) Christmas In India (Rudyard Kipling) A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens) The Twelve Days of Christmas The Wonderful Wizard of OZ (L. Frank Baum) Ring Out, Wild Bells (Alfred Lord Tennyson) Little Lord Fauntleroy (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Black Beauty (Anna Sewell) The Christmas Child (Hesba Stretton) Granny's Wonderful Chair (Frances Browne) The Romance of a Christmas Card (Kate Douglas Wiggin) Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) The Wonderful Life - Story of the life and death of our Lord (Hesba Stretton) The Christmas Angel (A. Brown) Christmas at Thompson Hall (Anthony Trollope) Christmas Every Day (William Dean Howells) The Lost Word (Henry van Dyke) The Nutcracker and the Mouse King (E. T. A. Hoffmann) The Little Match Girl The Elves and the Shoemaker Mother Holle The Star Talers Snow-White The Christmas Hirelings The Blue Carbuncle An Exciting Christmas Eve The Spirit of Christmas…
Download or read book The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane written by Kelly Harms and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2013-07-09 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A debut novel about luck and love, and winning a sweepstakes, with a cast of characters who will charm readers from the very first page The HomeSweetHome Network has just announced this year's lucky winner of a brand-new, fully loaded dream home: Janine Brown of Cedar Falls, Iowa. For Janine "Janey" Brown, hearing her name called on the TV has the hallmarks of one of her aunt Midge's harebrained plans designed to bring Janey into a world outside the one she once shared with her fiancé. Janey, however, is reluctant to give up the safety and sanctity she finds in her tiny kitchen, submerging her anxiety and grief in the pursuit of the perfect pot-au-feu. Meanwhile, across town, Janine "Nean" Brown just knows that this house is her destiny. Good fortune took its sweet time showing up in her life, but better late than never. And now that it's here, the house promises an escape from the latest in her revolving door of crappy jobs and drunk boyfriends. This house will turn her into someone the world sees, instead of the bedraggled girl who others look past without a thought. Both Janine Browns head for Christmas Cove, Maine, to claim the prize they both rightfully think is theirs. When their lives and personalities intersect, however, they discover that more than just a million-dollar dream home awaits them at the water's edge. These three women (oh yes, Aunt Midge comes along for the ride!) arrive at their newfound mansion only to uncover what exactly it means to truly be "home." Filled with wit and charm, The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane is Kelly Harms's enchanting and heartfelt debut--a testament to the many, many ways love finds us, the power of a home-cooked meal, and just what it means to be lucky.
Download or read book The School Journal written by and published by . This book was released on 1908 with total page 428 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Girls at Mt Morris written by Amanda M. Douglas and published by BoD – Books on Demand. This book was released on 2020-07-17 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reproduction of the original: The Girls at Mt. Morris by Amanda M. Douglas
Download or read book Just Checking Scores written by Marisa Burke and published by Black Rose Writing. This book was released on 2021-12-16 with total page 221 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Marisa Burke is a top-rated, local anchorwoman at one of the most respected local ABC affiliates in the country. She enjoys celebrity status, six-figure salaries, a gorgeous home, and beautiful family. But rather than reporting the news, Marisa suddenly becomes the subject of it when her husband, an admired educator, the father of her two young girls, and the man she truly believed was her loving soulmate, was arrested for unlawful sexual relationships with underage boys. What was even more excruciating, Marisa was forced to endure the shame and embarrassment of anchoring the same newscasts in which the personally gut-wrenching news stories about her husband's charges were reported. Marisa Burke's shocking memoir, Just Checking Scores reveals what happens when a person at the top is brought down by public humiliation into a world of deep despair and what Burke did to channel her suffering and anguish into defiance and strength.
Download or read book Glimpses of Phoenix written by David William Foster and published by McFarland. This book was released on 2013-05-01 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Part of the self-image of Phoenix is that the city has no history and that anything of importance happened yesterday. Also that Phoenix, the Arizona state capital, is a "clean" city (despite a past of police corruption and social oppression). The "real" Phoenix, easygoing, sun-drenched, a place of ever-expanding development and economic growth, guarantees, it is said, an enviable lifestyle, low taxes, and unfettered personal freedom and opportunity. Little of this is true. Phoenix has been described as one of the least sustainable cities in the country. This sixth largest urban area of the United States has an alarmingly superficial and tourism-oriented discourse among its leaders. This book examines a series of narrative works (novels, theater, chronicles, investigative reporting, personal accounts, editorial cartooning, even a children's television program) that question this discourse in a frequently stinging fashion. The works examined are anchored in a critical understanding of the dominant urban myths of Greater Phoenix, and an awareness of how all the newness, modernity and fun-in-the-sun mentality mask a uniquely dystopian human experience.
Download or read book Shadow Girls written by Carol Birch and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2022-04-14 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Combining psychological suspense with elements of the ghost story, Shadow Girls is a literary exploration of girlhood by the Booker Prize-shortlisted author of Jamrach's Menagerie. Manchester, 1960s. Sally, a cynical fifteen-year-old schoolgirl, is much too clever for her own good. When partnered with her best friend, Pamela – a mouthy girl who no-one else much likes – Sally is unable to resist the temptation of rebellion. The pair play truant, explore forbidden areas of the old school and – their favourite – torment posh Sylvia Rose, with her pristine uniform and her beautiful voice that wins every singing prize. One day, Sally ventures (unauthorised, of course) up to the greenhouse on the roof alone. Or at least she thinks she's alone, until she sees Sylvia on the roof too. Sally hurries downstairs, afraid of Sylvia snitching, but Sylvia appears to be there as well. Amidst the resurgence of ghost stories and superstition among the girls, a tragedy is about to occur, one that will send Sally further and further down an uncanny rabbit hole... Praise for Shadow Girls: 'A terrific evocation of a bygone Manchester girlhood, poignant and creepy by turns, by one of the most under-rated writers in England' D.J. Taylor 'Compulsively readable, Shadow Girls is an atmospheric, shape-shifting novel, part coming-of-age, part supernatural thriller. Birch renders the atmosphere of the sixties impeccably, and conveys most brilliantly the taut, complicated relationships between teenage girls with all their neediness, bravado and gullibility' Lesley Glaister
Download or read book The Complete Idiot s Guide to Songwriting written by Joel Hirschhorn and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2004 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A comprehensive book for today's amateur musician interested in creating and writing his or her own songs, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Songwriting, Second Edition, is the most complete and up-to-date book available. Beating coverage from other series competition, Oscar-winning (and Grammy and Tony award nominated) author Joel Hirschhorn shares his firsthand knowledge of coming up with ideas, rhyming schemes, hooks, melodies, lyrics, and even titles - everything readers need to create their own hit songs! This new edition features coverage of the music business along with the ins and outs of selling a song including working with publishers, producers, artists, managers, accountants, agents, and even attorneys. Best of all, this newest edition features special chapters on genre songwriting - with all new coverage of Latin music, Rock/Blues, Children's music, writing for television, film, and more.
Download or read book A Bad Boy for Christmas written by Jessica Lemmon and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2015-09-29 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tis the Season to Be Naughty Connor McClain knows what he wants. And after four harrowing years in Afghanistan, that's a quiet life in the lakeside town of Evergreen Cove. But coming home has land mines of its own-the most dangerous of them being long-legged bombshell Faith Garrett. Now getting her into his arms this holiday is going to require more than mistletoe . . . With a cheating ex behind her, all Faith wants is a relaxing holiday free from man drama. And even though every moment with gorgeous Connor is a sweet temptation, Faith is determined not to give in. But Jack Frost has other plans, and soon Faith and Connor are snowbound in a winter wonderland with only the sparks flying between them to keep them warm. As one hot kiss leads to another, they'll have to decide if they're ready to give each other the best gift of all-love. "Everything I love in a romance." -- Lori Foster, 2014
Download or read book ADVENTURES IN SOCIAL WELFARE written by ALEXANDER JOHNSON and published by . This book was released on 1923 with total page 514 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
