Download or read book Kitty Flanagan s 488 Rules for Life written by Kitty Flanagan and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2019-10-01 with total page 347 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it's not you who needs help, it's other people. Whether they're walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, a lot of people just don't know the rules. But thanks to Kitty Flanagan's comprehensive guide to modern behaviour, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don't ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it ... where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and don't reheat their fish curry in the office microwave ... where middle aged men don't have ponytails ... What started as a joke on Kitty Flanagan's popular segment on ABC TV's The Weekly, is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.) What people are (Kitty Flanagan is) saying about this book: 'You're welcome everyone.' 'Thank god for me.' 'I'd rather be sad and lonely, but right.' 'There's not actually 488 rules in here but it sure feels like it'.

Download or read book 488 Rules for Life The Thankless Art of Being Correct written by Kitty Flanagan and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2019-11-28 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 488 Rules for Life is Kitty Flanagan's way of making the world a more pleasant place to live.

Download or read book More Rules for Life written by Kitty Flanagan and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 142 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The world has changed and new rules are required. More Rules for Life is the perfect companion to Kitty Flanagan's bestselling 488 Rules for Life. More Rules for Life is the latest collection from comedian and rule-maker Kitty Flanagan. Following the success of her bestseller, 488 Rules for Life, Kitty realised there was still a lot of work to be done. What if there were people who didn't know that you're supposed to take the lettuce off the sandwich before toasting it? Or that you should never make eye contact with someone while eating a banana? What if young people didn't realise that TikTok is not actually a job? And what about old men on ladders? Someone needs to tell those guys to get down. Inspired by a rapidly changing world, this special volume includes a whole batch of new rules, as well as some very specific rules for our pandemic-riddled society. Written for the enthusiasts and true believers, More Rules for Life contains all the information you need to help others be their least-annoying selves. Praise for 488 Rules for Life: 'Kitty Flanagan may have saved us all. It's so simple, buy the book, laugh out loud, become a better person.' - Jason Alexander

Download or read book I Left the House Today written by Cassandra Calin and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2020-06-02 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hilarious and relatable comics about one young woman's life, relationships, and day-to-day humorous musings on why it's good to leave the house sometimes—and when it's better to stay home. Cassandra Calin’s ability to document the hilarity of relatable everyday events in a series of webcomics has generated a huge following on social media. This beautifully illustrated compendium of first-person comics about the trials of the single life, school, stress, junk food, shaving, and maintaining a healthy self-image. Cassandra Calin's comics frequently highlight the humorous gap between expectations and reality, especially when it comes to appearance and how much she can accomplish in one day. This book is funny, lighthearted, introspective, and artistically stunning—the perfect gift for young women, recent graduates, and anyone who might need a little comedic incentive to leave the house today.

Download or read book Kitty Flanagan s 488 Rules for Life written by Kitty Flanagan and published by . This book was released on 2019-10-29 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it's not you who needs help, it's other people. Whether they're walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, a lot of people just don't know the rules. But thanks to Kitty Flanagan's comprehensive guide to modern behaviour, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don't ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it ... where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and don't reheat their fish curry in the office microwave ... where middle aged men don't have ponytails ...What started as a joke on Kitty Flanagan's popular segment on ABC TV's The Weekly, is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.) What people are (Kitty Flanagan is) saying about this book: 'You're welcome everyone.''Thank god for me.''I'd rather be sad and lonely, but right.''There's not actually 488 rules in here but it sure feels like it'.

Download or read book Mom Jokes written by Lisa Beth Johnson and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-03-09 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The authors of Okay, Boomer deliver much-needed one-liners, puns, lists, and real-life tweets to lighten the load—and life—of moms everywhere. Moms need their laughs just as much as anyone, especially when they have to relieve the stress of cranky kids, oblivious spouses, and the challenges of balancing work and family while keeping it all together—at least on the surface! Mom Jokes is a collection of more than 300 snarky, sassy, and witty jokes for moms, such as . . . Every Mother’s Day my children make me breakfast in bed. Good thing I taught them how to make bottomless mimosas. What’s the difference between me when I’m nine months pregnant and a supermodel? Nothing, because my husband values his life. The good thing about going back to work after having kids is that you have your mom boss voice perfected. I thought my seven-year-old was mature enough to feed our goldfish—and he is—he just isn’t mature enough to know they don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. From family life and the daily grind to food and entertainment, this collection of jokes nails the ups and downs of motherhood, giving moms light-hearted moments to get through the heavy lifting.

Download or read book Kitty Flanagan s Complete Set of Rules written by Kitty Flanagan and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Complete Set of Rules is Kitty Flanagan's way of helping you help others to be less annoying. A two-book bundle comprising 488 Rules for Life and More Rules for Life.

Download or read book Reader s Digest Laughter is the Best Medicine All Time Favorites written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-05 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.

Download or read book A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing but Using the Bathroom as an Escape written by Joe Pera and published by Forge Books. This book was released on 2021-11-16 with total page 126 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A USA TODAY BESTSELLER! The cozy comedy of Joe Pera meets the darkly playful illustrations of Joe Bennett in A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape, a funny, warm, and sincere guide to regaining calm and confidence when you're hiding in the bathroom. “Nothing says ‘class’ to your dinner guests more than a Joe Pera book next to the can.” —Seth Meyers Joe Pera goes to the bathroom a lot. And his friend, Joe Bennett, does too. They both have small bladders but more often it’s just to get a moment of quiet, a break from work, or because it’s the only way they know how to politely end conversations. So they created a functional meditative guide to help people who suffer from social anxiety and deal with it in this very particular way. Although, it’s a comedic book, the goal is to help these readers: 1. Relax 2. Recharge 3. Rejoin the world outside of the bathroom It’s also fun entertainment for people simply hiding in the bathroom to avoid doing work. A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape will be waiting in the bathroom like a beacon for anxious readers looking to feel calm, confident, and less alone. “Nothing says ‘class’ to your dinner guests more than a Joe Pera book next to the can.” —Seth Meyers “A beautiful and funny book about something I have done all my life. Thank you, Mr. Joseph Pera.” —Aidy Bryant At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Download or read book F cking History written by The Captain and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2020-08-11 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life. Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born. The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great. You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra. People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

Download or read book Bridge Burning and Other Hobbies written by Kitty Flanagan and published by . This book was released on 2020-09-29 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of Australia's favourite and most multi-talented entertainers, Kitty Flanagan, provides hilarious and honest life advice in this candid collection of cautionary tales.

Download or read book 12 Rules for Life written by Jordan B. Peterson and published by Random House Canada. This book was released on 2018-01-23 with total page 450 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER #1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER What does everyone in the modern world need to know? Renowned psychologist Jordan B. Peterson's answer to this most difficult of questions uniquely combines the hard-won truths of ancient tradition with the stunning revelations of cutting-edge scientific research. Humorous, surprising and informative, Dr. Peterson tells us why skateboarding boys and girls must be left alone, what terrible fate awaits those who criticize too easily, and why you should always pet a cat when you meet one on the street. What does the nervous system of the lowly lobster have to tell us about standing up straight (with our shoulders back) and about success in life? Why did ancient Egyptians worship the capacity to pay careful attention as the highest of gods? What dreadful paths do people tread when they become resentful, arrogant and vengeful? Dr. Peterson journeys broadly, discussing discipline, freedom, adventure and responsibility, distilling the world's wisdom into 12 practical and profound rules for life. 12 Rules for Life shatters the modern commonplaces of science, faith and human nature, while transforming and ennobling the mind and spirit of its readers.

Download or read book 488 Rules for Life written by Kitty Flanagan and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-13 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Despite what Jordan Peterson says, there are more than twelve rules for life . . . a lot more. Thankfully, you now have this witty guide to remedy every annoying little thing society throws at you. 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it's not you who needs help--it's other people. Whether they're walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, people just don't know the rules. But now, thanks to Australian comedian Kitty Flanagan's comprehensive guide to modern behavior, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don't ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it . . . where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and refrain from reheating their fish curry in the office microwave . . . where middle-aged men don't have ponytails. What started as a joke on Kitty Flanagan's popular segment on ABC TV's The Weekly, is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating.)

Download or read book The Artistry of the Homeric Simile written by William C. Scott and published by UPNE. This book was released on 2012-01-15 with total page 441 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An examination of the aesthetic qualities of the Homeric simile

Download or read book The Prince of the Marshes written by Rory Stewart and published by HMH. This book was released on 2007-02-01 with total page 437 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An adventurous diplomat’s “engrossing and often darkly humorous” memoir of working with Iraqis after the fall of Saddam Hussein(Publishers Weekly). In August 2003, at the age of thirty, Rory Stewart took a taxi from Jordan to Baghdad. A Farsi-speaking British diplomat who had recently completed an epic walk from Turkey to Bangladesh, he was soon appointed deputy governor of Amarah and then Nasiriyah, provinces in the remote, impoverished marsh regions of southern Iraq. He spent the next eleven months negotiating hostage releases, holding elections, and splicing together some semblance of an infrastructure for a population of millions teetering on the brink of civil war. The Prince of the Marshes tells the story of Stewart’s year. As a participant he takes us inside the occupation and beyond the Green Zone, introducing us to a colorful cast of Iraqis and revealing the complexity and fragility of a society we struggle to understand. By turns funny and harrowing, moving and incisive, it amounts to a unique portrait of heroism and the tragedy that intervention inevitably courts in the modern age.

Download or read book Through the Language Glass written by Guy Deutscher and published by Metropolitan Books. This book was released on 2010-08-31 with total page 317 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A masterpiece of linguistics scholarship, at once erudite and entertaining, confronts the thorny question of how—and whether—culture shapes language and language, culture Linguistics has long shied away from claiming any link between a language and the culture of its speakers: too much simplistic (even bigoted) chatter about the romance of Italian and the goose-stepping orderliness of German has made serious thinkers wary of the entire subject. But now, acclaimed linguist Guy Deutscher has dared to reopen the issue. Can culture influence language—and vice versa? Can different languages lead their speakers to different thoughts? Could our experience of the world depend on whether our language has a word for "blue"? Challenging the consensus that the fundaments of language are hard-wired in our genes and thus universal, Deutscher argues that the answer to all these questions is—yes. In thrilling fashion, he takes us from Homer to Darwin, from Yale to the Amazon, from how to name the rainbow to why Russian water—a "she"—becomes a "he" once you dip a tea bag into her, demonstrating that language does in fact reflect culture in ways that are anything but trivial. Audacious, delightful, and field-changing, Through the Language Glass is a classic of intellectual discovery.

Download or read book Stupid Things I Won t Do When I Get Old written by Steven Petrow and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2021-06-29 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews