Download or read book 44 Best Ever Fart Jokes Poems written by Andy Jones and published by HarperCollins Australia. This book was released on 2011-12-13 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 44 of the funniest, stinkiest, most EXPLOSIVE fart jokes and poems ever! Ages: 6+ Q: What do you get if you mix a fart with dessert? A: Smelly jelly! Q: Why are farts so poor? A: Because they only have one scent! A collection of the funniest, stinkiest, most EXPLOSIVE fart jokes and poems ever! 'I laughed so hard I farted!' -Professor Fartypants Ages: 6+

Download or read book I Like to Fart in My Brother s Face written by Claire Dietrich and published by . This book was released on 2020-07-11 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Awful poems that really should not be read by children. Please go look for something by like Robert Lewis Stevenson or Mother Goose, those are much more appropriate.

Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Download or read book Fart Proudly written by Benjamin Franklin and published by Frog Books. This book was released on 2003-03-31 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.

Download or read book Did Somebody Step on a Duck written by Jim Dawson and published by Ten Speed Press. This book was released on 2010-05-04 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This impolite, aromatic, and incredibly erudite flatulence compendium will astound you with: • The recent discovery of the world’s oldest joke, a proverb from the Old Babylonian period, that turned out to be—that’s right, folks—a fart joke. • A new reading of Emily Dickinson’s poetry that “reveals” the true meaning behind “They Have a Little Odor.” • A harrowing account of Apollo astronauts getting inner-space gas from hydrogen bubbles in their drinking water on their way to the moon. • The other Tiger Woods scandal—this one involving a mysterious cheek-squeak recorded while Tiger sized up an approach shot at the 2009 Buick Open. • A scientist who built the world’s biggest whoopee cushion and lived to tell about it . . . . . . and many more wacky but true tales from the fart historian who brought you the best-selling Who Cut the Cheese? and its combustible sequel, Blame It on the Dog. In this incomparable collection you’ll experience firsthand the Jungian implications of farting, the environmental import of “flatulence cards” in the carbon-offset market, and the brutally honest social commentary of a man whose office chair broadcasts his farts on Twitter. After reading this book you’ll proudly proclaim, “I fart, therefore I am.”

Download or read book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell written by Tucker Max and published by Citadel . This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 537 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."

Download or read book The Table Talk of Martin Luther written by Martin Luther and published by . This book was released on 1857 with total page 516 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Private Peaceful written by Michael Morpurgo and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2012-08-24 with total page 61 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Private Peaceful relives the life of Private Tommo Peaceful, a young First World War soldier awaiting the firing squad at dawn. During the night he looks back at his short but joyful past growing up in rural Devon: his exciting first days at school; the accident in the forest that killed his father; his adventures with Molly, the love of his life; and the battles and injustices of war that brought him to the front line. Winner of the Blue Peter Book of the Year, Private Peaceful is by the third Children's Laureate, Michael Morpurgo, award-winning author of War Horse. His inspiration came from a visit to Ypres where he was shocked to discover how many young soldiers were court-martialled and shot for cowardice during the First World War. This edition also includes introductory essays by Michael Morpurgo, Associate Director of Private Peaceful production Mark Leipacher, as well as an essay from Simon Reade, adaptor & director of this stage adaptation of Private Peaceful.

Download or read book The Burptionary written by Andy Jones and published by HarperCollins Australia. This book was released on 2014-11-01 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The only way is up! The master of bodily functions is back in the gurgliest follow-up ever. Ages: 6+ Andy Jones continues his hilarious journey through the human digestive system and tells you everything you (n)ever wanted toknow about BURPS! Whether they be lady-like hiccups or onion-breath stinkers, burps are an essential part of the human experience. the Burptionary is jam-packed full of belchy facts, gaseous jokes and burp-tastic riddles and rhymes, and is guaranteed to have boys everywhere laughing till they spew.

Download or read book The Things They Carried written by Tim O'Brien and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.

Download or read book Almost Everybody Farts written by Marty Kelley and published by Union Square & Co.. This book was released on 2020-02-28 with total page 31 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Grandmas fart. Teachers fart. Terrifying creatures fart. But . . . is there someone who DOESN’T fart? With sly humor, this fun picture book looks at a subject that’s sure to make children laugh: farting. With silent farts, farts like horns, and rainbow farts from unicorns, Almost Everybody Farts comically captures the gassy scene. And only one person insists she’s fart-free: MOM! But is she? Kids will insist on reading this rhyming story again and again. “A playful, punchy paean to the pervasive poot.” —Kirkus Reviews (Starred review)

Download or read book Put Tony s Nuts in Your Mouth written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Curious but not concerned as to where they would sleep that night, Bimisi and Sumguyen aimlessly meandered down the cobblestone calles of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. As the sun set over the Pacific they found themselves sequestered by a weathered native peddler who mimed towards his cart and through his guttural broken english encouraged them to "Put Tony's nuts in your mouth..."60 pesos later, as a cold cerveza washed down the first of Tony's nuts,pen was put to parchment and book four of season one came to be.Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth is the fourth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.

Download or read book The Fartionary 2 written by Andy Jones and published by HarperCollins Australia. This book was released on 2024-12-04 with total page 231 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With even more hilarious jokes, trivia, facts and cartoons, THE FARTIONARY 2: THE FOLLOW THROUGH is guaranteed to be a hit with kids everywhere! A book with more POP, BANG and CRACKLE than a 100-year-old vintage car fuelled on baked beans! Who farts? The why, when and how of farting ... Farting by age, location and climate ... The Whoopee Cushion ... why? All this and much, much more will be revealed by self-proclaimed fart guru to the stars, the 'Fart Whisperer' himself, ANDY JONES! Ably assisted by his go-to gas consultant, world-renowned 'fart-ologist', Dr Windee Wendy (BScGAS, PhdWind). Science! Facts! Comedy! Rap! Poetry! All things gassy will be discussed, dissected and disposed of in this deliciously whiffy raspberry romp. So get ready to let one rip with THE FARTIONARY 2: THE FOLLOW-THROUGH!

Download or read book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings written by Maya Angelou and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-07-21 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here is a book as joyous and painful, as mysterious and memorable, as childhood itself. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings captures the longing of lonely children, the brute insult of bigotry, and the wonder of words that can make the world right. Maya Angelou’s debut memoir is a modern American classic beloved worldwide. Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother, Bailey, endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age—and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Years later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors (“I met and fell in love with William Shakespeare”) will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned. Poetic and powerful, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings will touch hearts and change minds for as long as people read. “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings liberates the reader into life simply because Maya Angelou confronts her own life with such a moving wonder, such a luminous dignity.”—James Baldwin From the Paperback edition.

Download or read book Spontaneous written by Aaron Starmer and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-08-23 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now a new motion picture starring Katherine Langford, Charlie Plummer, and Hayley Law! “Truly the smartest and funniest book about spontaneous combustion you will ever read.” –John Green, #1 bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars Mara Carlyle’s senior year is going as normally as could be expected, until fellow senior Katelyn Ogden explodes during third period pre-calc. Katelyn is the first, but she won’t be the last teenager to blow up without warning or explanation. As the national eye turns to Mara’s suburban New Jersey hometown, the FBI rolls in and the search for a reason is on. Mara narrates the end of their world as she knows it while trying to make it to graduation in one piece. It’s an explosive year punctuated by romance, quarantine, lifelong friendship, hallucinogenic mushrooms, bloggers, ice cream trucks, and Bon Jovi. Aaron Starmer rewrites the rulebook with Spontaneous. But beneath the outrageous is a ridiculously funny, super honest, and truly moving exemplar of the absurd and raw truths of being a teenager in the 21st century . . . and the heartache of saying goodbye. “Wildly inventive.” –Entertainment Weekly “Must List” “A comically surreal novel that will blow your mind.” –People Magazine

Download or read book The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian National Book Award Winner written by Sherman Alexie and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2012-01-10 with total page 299 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times bestseller—over one million copies sold! A National Book Award winner A Boston Globe-Horn Book Award winner Bestselling author Sherman Alexie tells the story of Junior, a budding cartoonist growing up on the Spokane Indian Reservation. Determined to take his future into his own hands, Junior leaves his troubled school on the rez to attend an all-white farm town high school where the only other Indian is the school mascot. Heartbreaking, funny, and beautifully written, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, which is based on the author's own experiences, coupled with poignant drawings by Ellen Forney that reflect the character's art, chronicles the contemporary adolescence of one Native American boy as he attempts to break away from the life he was destined to live. With a forward by Markus Zusak, interviews with Sherman Alexie and Ellen Forney, and black-and-white interior art throughout, this edition is perfect for fans and collectors alike.

Download or read book Unreliable Memoirs written by Clive James and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2009-05-18 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nearly 30 years ago, James wrote a refreshingly candid book that made no claims to be accurate, precise, or entirely truthful, only to entertain. Long unavailable in the U.S., "Unreliable Memoirs" is being made available to American readers.