Download or read book 101 Terrible Zombie Jokes written by John Rhea and published by The Undead Institute. This book was released on with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You’ve heard of a zombie only a mother could love, well this is a joke book only a dad could love. Well him and all those with refined tastes in fatherly humor. You’ll laugh, cry and definitely groan (or is it moan?) at these original, zombie-themed jokes from the braaains behind the Undead Institute. Here’s a sample of the horrors you’ll find between these pages: What did the zombie say after feasting at the insane asylum? Tastes like nuts. What do you call a zombie in a pool with no arms or legs? Bob. What’s scarier than a zombie in a clown suit? Nothing. How would you describe both a zombie ninja and zombie flatulence? Silent but undeadly. What’s the difference between a dad joke and a zombie joke? The sound: groans versus moans. A vampire, a ghost, and a zombie walk into a bar. A few minutes later, who walks out? Two zombie vampires and a very lonely ghost. What do you call a horde of bad zombie jokes? This book. How can you tell if the dealer at your weekly poker game is a zombie? If he shuffles with his feet. If you don’t love this joke book, there’s probably something very, very right with you.
Download or read book Professor Blusterhiny s Zombish 101 written by John Rhea and published by The Undead Institute. This book was released on with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Put those zombie fighting skills to the test with this workbook featuring Professor Blusterhiny’s zombish language course and skills you’ve learned in the first six books from the Undead Institute. You’ll build a website for Professor Blusterhiny’s Zombish 101 course, a course dedicated to teaching survivors how to talk to their zombified loved ones. With nothing but your wits and web skills you’ll take the website from a blank page through creating a fully functional, responsive website. You’ll be guided step by step through creating the underlying HTML, using CSS to add color and design and layout, addressing some usability issues, building forms, adding a free lesson page and converting the site into a responsive design so that it’ll work in any size browser. While anyone possessing a penchant for silliness and zombies with HTML and CSS knowledge should be able to build this website, the six books this workbook was made to accompany are - A Beginner’s Guide to Learning HTML (and Smacking Zombies Upside the Web Development) - Beginner CSS: Like Putting Lipstick on a Zombie - Beginner Usability: A Novice’s Guide to Zombie Proofing Your Website - HTML Forms & Interactive Elements: Or How to Poke a Zombie in the Eye - Intermediate CSS: Zombie in a Cocktail Dress - Responsive Design: An Undead Introduction to Mobile Web Development
Download or read book 101 So Bad They re Good Dad Jokes written by Elias Hill and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-07-20 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dad jokes. They make you cringe, they make you groan but the one thing they have in common is they come from dad. Be it during a wedding toast or when introducing your dad to someone you want to impress, dad never fails to insert a dad joke wherever he can. This dad joke book makes a great gift for the dad who has everything and has heard everything. Or maybe you want to buy it for yourself and come prepared the next time dad wants to have a joke off. In any event, 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes will have your eyes rolling into the back of your head faster than dad can strip to his tighty-whities on a hot summer day!
Download or read book Dad Jokes written by Editors of Portable Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2017-09-01 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!
Download or read book 101 Ways to Gross Out Your Friends written by Julie Huffman and published by Walter Foster Jr.. This book was released on 2016-10-10 with total page 147 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 101 Ways to Gross Out Your Friends shows kids how to use science and activities to make slimy snot, gorilla poop, and more to, well, gross out their friends!
Download or read book A Dad Joke a Day written by DaddiLife Books and published by . This book was released on 2021-05-19 with total page 190 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Looking for the perfect gift for dad? Then keep reading... Unleash dads' ultimate superpower with a terribly good dad joke for EVERYDAY of the year! Can A Dad Joke A Day keep the doctor away? Perhaps not. But a dad joke in the right hands can keep the kids and family on their toes, and at their eye rolling best! In this book from DaddiLife Books - the dads and writers behind the leading platform for modern day fathers - there's a different clean and family friendly dad joke everyday, with groan worthy tummy ticklers on specific calendar days of the year too (see if you can spot them all). What makes this book of dad jokes a special gift: Create a little family fun, everyday - A different cheesy and punny dad joke for every day of the year, including Leap Years, so dad can be top of his dad joke game 24/7 with knee slappers such as: Why was the broom running late? It over-swept. And, What do you call a hen who counts her eggs? A mathemachicken. Understand the science behind the dad joke - How our brains understand dad jokes differently to normal jokes, and the psychology behind a great dad joke versus an average dad joke. Sharpen your joke telling - Whether for new dads or (ahem) more experienced dads, for those who need a cheesy dad joke for a wedding speech or an everyday family laugh, this book has the best advice from across the DaddiLife community on how to tell a dad joke to its very finest, even if you have never told a dad joke before (seriously, where have you been)! Tell dad jokes on specific days of the year - Whether it's New Year, Christmas, or Star Wars day, you won't just be funny, but hilariously punny with these bad dad jokes! What Amazon readers are saying: ★★★★★ "An easy read, silly, and a great way to get the family involved and laughing together." ★★★★★ "Bought for my husband. He really likes it. He looks at more than one per day though because he can't resist learning new dad jokes." ★★★★★ "I could not help laughing my a** off reading these." ★★★★★ "The kids love the jokes and keep poring through the pages to find a new joke to tell us and their Dad has really enjoyed learning the science behind the dad joke and how to tell the perfect dad joke." ★★★★★ "The jokes themselves are exactly what you want from a dad joke - cringey, tut-inducing, eye-rolling. As soon as I got the book, we started by reading a joke from our family's birthdays." If you're looking for a fantastic gift for dad for Father's Day, Birthdays or Christmas, arm Dad with everything he needs for his ultimate mission - joining the Dad Joke Hall of Fame - by clicking the Add to Cart button.
Download or read book Alice in Zombieland written by Gena Showalter and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 409 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A modern-day Alice in Wonderland meets the undead... Alice in Zombieland, the first book in The White Rabbit Chronicles, introduces readers to a world newly overrun by zombies...and the one girl who may be able to save mankind. She won''t rest until she''s sent every walking corpse back to its grave. Had anyone told Alice Bell that her entire life would change course between one heartbeat and the next, she would have laughed. But that''s all it took. One heartbeat. A blink, a breath, a second, and everything she knew and loved was gone. Her father was right. The monsters are real. To avenge her family, Ali must learn to fight the undead. To survive, she must learn to trust the baddest of the bad boys, Cole Holland. But Cole has secrets of his own, and if Ali isn''t careful, those secrets might just prove to be more dangerous than the zombies. The White Rabbit Chronicles: Alice in Zombieland Through the Zombie Glass The Queen of Zombie Hearts A Mad Zombie Party
Download or read book The Things They Carried written by Tim O'Brien and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.
Download or read book Don t Fear the Reaper written by Stephen Graham Jones and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2023-02-07 with total page 480 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Locus Award Finalist NATIONAL BESTSELLER December 12th, 2019, Jade returns to the rural lake town of Proofrock the same day as convicted Indigenous serial killer Dark Mill South escapes into town to complete his revenge killings, in this “superb” (Publishers Weekly) sequel to My Heart Is a Chainsaw from New York Times bestselling author Stephen Graham Jones. Four years after her tumultuous senior year, Jade Daniels is released from prison right before Christmas when her conviction is overturned. But life beyond bars takes a dangerous turn as soon as she returns to Proofrock. Convicted Serial Killer, Dark Mill South, seeking revenge for thirty-eight Dakota men hanged in 1862, escapes from his prison transfer due to a blizzard, just outside of Proofrock, Idaho. Dark Mill South’s Reunion Tour began on December 12th, 2019, a Thursday. Thirty-six hours and twenty bodies later, on Friday the 13th, it would be over. Don’t Fear the Reaper is the “adrenaline-filled” (Library Journal, starred review) sequel to My Heart Is a Chainsaw from New York Times bestselling author Stephen Graham Jones.
Download or read book Zombies vs Unicorns written by Holly Black and published by S&S/Saga Press. This book was released on 2015-07-28 with total page 432 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It’s the epic battle of brains against manes. Which side are you on? It’s a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? This all-original anthology edited by Holly Black (Team Unicorn) and Justine Larbalestier (Team Zombie) makes strong arguments for both sides in the form of spectacular short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths—for good and evil—of unicorns, and half show the good (and really, really badass) side of zombies. Contributors include many bestselling authors, including Cassandra Clare, Libba Bray, Maureen Johnson, Meg Cabot, Scott Westerfeld, and Margo Lanagan. This anthology will have everyone asking: Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?
Download or read book Bad Dad Jokes written by Willow Creek Press and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.
Download or read book The Enemy written by Charlie Higson and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2013-01-02 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the wake of a devastating disease, everyone sixteen and older is either dead or a decomposing, brainless creature with a ravenous appetite for flesh. Teens have barricaded themselves in buildings throughout London and venture outside only when they need to scavenge for food. The group of kids living a Waitrose supermarket is beginning to run out of options. When a mysterious traveler arrives and offers them safe haven at Buckingham Palace, they begin a harrowing journey across London. But their fight is far from over???the threat from within the palace is as real as the one outside it. Full of unexpected twists and quick-thinking heroes, The Enemy is a fast-paced, white-knuckle tale of survival in the face of unimaginable horror.
Download or read book Blindsight written by Peter Watts and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2006-10-03 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hugo and Shirley Jackson award-winning Peter Watts stands on the cutting edge of hard SF with his acclaimed novel, Blindsight Two months since the stars fell... Two months of silence, while a world held its breath. Now some half-derelict space probe, sparking fitfully past Neptune's orbit, hears a whisper from the edge of the solar system: a faint signal sweeping the cosmos like a lighthouse beam. Whatever's out there isn't talking to us. It's talking to some distant star, perhaps. Or perhaps to something closer, something en route. So who do you send to force introductions with unknown and unknowable alien intellect that doesn't wish to be met? You send a linguist with multiple personalities, her brain surgically partitioned into separate, sentient processing cores. You send a biologist so radically interfaced with machinery that he sees x-rays and tastes ultrasound. You send a pacifist warrior in the faint hope she won't be needed. You send a monster to command them all, an extinct hominid predator once called vampire, recalled from the grave with the voodoo of recombinant genetics and the blood of sociopaths. And you send a synthesist—an informational topologist with half his mind gone—as an interface between here and there. Pray they can be trusted with the fate of a world. They may be more alien than the thing they've been sent to find. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Download or read book So You Created a Wormhole written by Phil Hornshaw and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-04-03 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome, intrepid temporal explorers, to the world's first and only field manual/survival guide to time travel!DON'T LEAVE THIS TIME PERIOD WITHOUT IT! Humans from H. G. Wells to Albert Einstein to Bill & Ted have been fascinated by time travel-some say drawn to it like moths to a flame. But in order to travel safely and effectively, newbie travelers need to know the dos and don'ts. Think of this handy little book as the only thing standing between you and an unimaginably horrible death-or being trapped forever in another time or alternate reality. You get: Essential time travel knowledge: Choosing the right time machine, from DeLoreans to hot tubs to phone booths-and beyond What to say-and what NOT to say-to your doppelganger Understanding black holes and Stephen Hawking's term "spaghettification" (no, it's not a method of food preperation; yes, it is a horrifically painful way to meet your end) The connection between Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, traversing wormholes and the 88 mph speed requirement The possible consequences of creating a time paradox-including, but not limited to, the implosion of the universe Survival tips for nearly any sticky time travel situation: How to befriend a dinosaur and subsequently fight other dinosaurs with that dinosaur Instructions to build your very own Rube Goldberg Time Machine Crusading-for fun and profit Tips on battling cowboys, pirates, ninjas, samurai, Nazis, Vikings, robots and space marines How to operate a microwave oven Enjoying the servitude of robots and tips for living underground when they inevitably rise up against us
Download or read book The Girl s Guide to the Apocalypse written by Daphne Lamb and published by Booktrope Editions. This book was released on 2015-08-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to the Apocalypse. Your forecast includes acid rain, roving gangs and misplaced priorities, in this comedic take on the end of the world as we know it, from debut author Daphne Lamb. As a self-entitled, self-involved, and ill equipped millennial, Verdell probably wouldn't have ranked very high on the list of those most likely to survive the end of the world, but here she is anyway. Add in travelling with her work addicted boss, her boyfriend who she has "meh" feelings for, and a handful of others who had no businesses surviving as long as they have, and things aren't exactly going as planned. But despite threats of cannibalism, infected water supplies, and possibly even mutants, Verdell is willing to put in as little effort as she can get away with to survive.
Download or read book The Ultimate Dad Joke Book written by Hugh Murmie and published by . This book was released on 2020-05-10 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
Download or read book Infected written by Maya Riley and published by . This book was released on 2019-06-13 with total page 220 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What's the worst that could happen? Sit down and let me tell you.The Void Virus has been let loose on the Earth. Caused by experiments gone wrong, an outbreak has ravaged the world. Anyone infected has turned into a decaying empty shell, void of their former selves. The animate decomposing bodies have become known as Rotters, stumbling around for the scent of the living.Alone in the dark new world where even the dead don't die, I must fight to survive. Not only against the Rotters, but the remaining uninfected who have turned savage in their plight of survival; the scavers.As the world I once knew is lost, a new one emerges. Strange things begin to happen. Some are able to wield power over the elements. I develop a strange healing ability. It is unknown if this is a rogue symptom of the virus, or if the solitude is driving me crazy.Puppy, my German Shepherd, and I have been on our own until four guys enter my life and refuse to leave. Strangely enough, they're just as broken as I am.My name is Blyss and we will set this world on fire if necessary. After all... What's the worst that could happen?**18+ Reverse Harem Romance. Warning: this book contains some scenes and references of abuse that some readers may find triggering**
